Perverted her path of life arrogantly to the way of carnal lust
February 11, 2019 4:22 PM   Subscribe

Joan had “impudently cast aside the propriety of religion and the modesty of her sex”, and “out of a malicious mind simulating a bodily illness, she pretended to be dead, not dreading for the health of her soul, and with the help of numerous of her accomplices, evildoers, with malice aforethought, crafted a dummy in the likeness of her body in order to mislead the devoted faithful and she had no shame in procuring its burial in a sacred space amongst the religious of that place”.
posted by clawsoon (14 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite
 
"Perverted her path of life arrogantly to the way of carnal lust" would make a hell of an epitaph.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:00 PM on February 11, 2019 [9 favorites]


I need to add "now wanders at large to the notorious peril to her soul" to my resume. Or at least my artist bio.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:27 PM on February 11, 2019 [9 favorites]


Life goals.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:53 PM on February 11, 2019


Punk, 14th-century style.
posted by acb at 2:16 AM on February 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


I just changed my twitter profile to begin "now wanders at large to the notorious peril to his soul". Because damn, that's a great line.
posted by sotonohito at 6:21 AM on February 12, 2019 [7 favorites]


If someone's looking for a writing prompt for historical fiction, there's a free one right here.
posted by suetanvil at 9:25 AM on February 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


Maybe they murdered her, and we're reading the coverup.
Is there any corroborating evidence that she survived the burial?
posted by the Real Dan at 9:37 AM on February 12, 2019


Joan's life sounds pretty great!
posted by medusa at 10:39 AM on February 12, 2019


the Real Dan: Is there any corroborating evidence that she survived the burial?

Sounds like she wasn't buried herself, but instead she created a dummy that was buried.

"Numerous of her accomplices"... I can imagine them having a blast thumbing their noses at the church and getting away with it.

Not that the institutions of the time could say much about sexual propriety, given that the king was rumoured to have, contra church morality, a gay lover, and the "private life of the new archbishop [of Canterbury, a political enemy of the archbishop of York, who penned the note about Joan] appears to have been the reverse of exemplary."
posted by clawsoon at 11:29 AM on February 12, 2019


Not that the institutions of the time could say much about sexual propriety

Oh come now, mere flagrant hypocrisy has never stopped the powerful from tut-tutting about the indescretions of their lessers.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:16 PM on February 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


Well who hasn’t pretended to be dead to get out of an awkward situation?
posted by bigbigdog at 1:46 PM on February 12, 2019 [2 favorites]


Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The: Oh come now, mere flagrant hypocrisy has never stopped the powerful from tut-tutting about the indescretions of their lessers.

True. My impression of that precise time in England (and a century or so afterwards) is that sometimes tut-tutting was all that they could do, since church and state were both weak and often ignored.
posted by clawsoon at 2:14 PM on February 12, 2019 [1 favorite]


Well. I just found a new role model! hashtag teamjoan hashtag lifegoals hashtag livingherbestlife
posted by halcyonday at 3:17 AM on February 13, 2019


Sounds like she wasn't buried herself, but instead she created a dummy that was buried.

If selfies had been a thing back then, we'd be inundated with a million of them.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:22 AM on February 13, 2019


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