Slowww hug
June 29, 2020 9:45 AM   Subscribe

Hugs to Look Forward to After the Pandemic is Over (Eleanor Davis for The California Sunday Magazine) posted by book 'em dano (22 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
Hugging my friends' pets even tho their cats will destroy me
posted by book 'em dano at 9:55 AM on June 29


B-I-I-I-I-G HUG!
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:36 AM on June 29


Pretty much everyone will get tackle hugged for eternity if this ever ends.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:12 AM on June 29 [1 favorite]


God. I've got a couple people I'm not sure I'll ever get to hug again and this brought tears to my eyes. To anyone reading this, I hope your loved ones make it and we'll all be hugging on the other side.
posted by potrzebie at 11:29 AM on June 29 [13 favorites]


My partner cried when they told me that they wanted to be able to hug their parents again soon. When we went out to visit them, we wore masks, brought bathroom & sanitizing supplies, ordered our own takeout, sat far apart. Their parents were hurt and puzzled and said, "But we don't have it!". I had to explain that we wanted it to stay that way for all of us, and before we left my partner got to hug their dad, quickly, with a mask & gloves on, face turned away.
It's been over two weeks and everyone is fine, our city and state is slowly opening up but people are being really stupid in the bars and restaurants. So we're sticking with our quarantine and saving all those hugs. I'm gonna hug the crap out of everybody as per this cartoon.
posted by winesong at 12:45 PM on June 29 [4 favorites]


It's going to end?
posted by DMelanogaster at 1:58 PM on June 29 [6 favorites]


I'm looking forward to none of these hugs. If other people are looking forward to hugs in the future, cool cool, different strokes for different folks. But if you're the kind of person who's looking forward to hugs in the aftertimes, at some point before then please consider that not everyone will be sharing your enthusiasm for hugs so you can be prepared for some of your loved ones being on a completely different page than you with regards to hugs.
posted by 23skidoo at 3:21 PM on June 29 [10 favorites]


For everything that exists on this planet, there are those people who can't tolerate that thing. Does every discussion about a thing have to include a note from someone who can't tolerate that thing that reminds everyone that not everyone wants that thing? It seems an inevitability in discussions about hugs that we have this reminder. Is it that different than "your favorite band sucks"? Is this article advocating unwanted hugs? Are others in this thread advocating unwanted hugs? If not, just let those that enjoy the thought of human contact have a thread about human contact.
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:29 PM on June 29 [20 favorites]


Is it that different than "your favorite band sucks"?

Yep, it's fundamentally different from that because I never said that hugs suck, and I said that if you are looking forward to hugs in the future, that's cool by me. People can totally enjoy hugs, hugs are great. But if you're expecting everyone to share your enthusiasm for hugs, that will create tense future situations, and that's all I said.
posted by 23skidoo at 3:36 PM on June 29 [3 favorites]


As a major-league hugger who misses hugs so very very much, I appreciate your comment and reminder 23skidoo. <3
posted by sugar and confetti at 3:59 PM on June 29 [1 favorite]


23skidoo, unwanted hugs are addressed in the FPP's link (Davis puts "let's throw these kinds of hugs in the garbage forever!" in the particular panel).
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:02 PM on June 29 [6 favorites]


23skidoo, unwanted hugs are addressed in the FPP's link (Davis puts "let's throw these kinds of hugs in the garbage forever!" in the particular panel).

Hey Iris Gambol, can you expand on this? I don't understand the term "particular panel".
posted by 23skidoo at 4:08 PM on June 29


Yes, please, no hugs.

More hugs for someone else.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:40 PM on June 29 [1 favorite]


I am a fan of hugs from people whom I like hugging and that also like getting hugs from me. All my hugs are mutual and consensual.

And yes, I would mostly just like to do more than elbow-bump my boyfriend. Certainly, at this point, I would like to do more things than just hug, but I would 100% take a hug. I really had no idea how much physical contact meant to me before these past several months.
posted by darksong at 5:05 PM on June 29 [1 favorite]


23skidoo -- if you didn't click on the link in the FPP, it's a series of animated cartoon panels on separate slides. The theme is "hugs to look forward to" post-pandemic, and Panel #7 makes the point that unwanted hugs are not one of the positive, mutually-sought reunion embraces in the theme ("hug with your best friend;" "hug with a loved one who you thought you might not see again;" etc.). That particular panel, #7, has the "let's throw these kinds of hugs in the garbage forever!" line.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:18 PM on June 29 [4 favorites]


I'm not going to hug anyone who doesn't want it, for the record, same like I did in the beforetimes.

However, I am feeling that I'll never get to touch another human again every single time I read a "there will never be a vaccine" article again. So this may be a pointless topic to discuss anyway.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:59 PM on June 29


I don't like hugs, but I also don't like being told what (not) to do, so I'm just confused these days.
posted by ovvl at 6:07 PM on June 29


23skidoo -- if you didn't click on the link in the FPP, it's a series of animated cartoon panels on separate slides. The theme is "hugs to look forward to" post-pandemic, and Panel #7 makes the point that unwanted hugs are not one of the positive, mutually-sought reunion embraces in the theme ("hug with your best friend;" "hug with a loved one who you thought you might not see again;" etc.). That particular panel, #7, has the "let's throw these kinds of hugs in the garbage forever!" line.

I clicked on the link in the FPP, and saw the animated cartoon panels on separate slides, and didn't pay attention closely enough to catch that particular panel. Thanks for the explanation!

I still feel my previous comments have value, as in the beforetimes, I've come into contact with lots of people who who've said things like "I'm a hugger, so come on in...." and then I'm obligated to hug them or shit gets weeeeird. After viewing that particular panel more closely, I'll just add "please make sure that the hugs you're giving in the aftertimes are wanted before even attempting a hug"- panel #7 notes that unwanted hugs are garbage forever, but doesn't really get into how to determine if the hug is wanted. I dunno, just something for pro-huggers to think about, because (imo) where I live, the expectation is that if someone opens their arms and/or tells you that they are a hugger, you are expected to hug them (even if they haven't asked "would you like a hug" or "can we share a hug" or similar).
posted by 23skidoo at 6:44 PM on June 29 [4 favorites]


Here's another (far more melancholy) cartoon take on hugs and the pandemic. "What Happens to All the Un-Hugged Hugs?" (Emily Flake, New Yorker)
posted by oakroom at 6:54 AM on June 30 [4 favorites]


oakroom, thanks for posting the Emily Flake cartoon. I like her work very much.
I'm not going to expect anyone to want to hug, I'm just looking forward to being able to, with those who do, someday. I hope.
posted by winesong at 7:34 AM on June 30


When our first round of restrictions eased, one of my friends posted "prepare to be gratuitously hugged!" I commented that whilst the Chief Health officer conceded that he couldn't dictate people's personal private lives and ban hugs, he strongly recommended refraining from hugs, and that for now I would still be refraining from hugs.

It's tough physically distancing in social situations for sure.
posted by freethefeet at 5:21 AM on July 1


I still feel my previous comments have value, as in the beforetimes, I've come into contact with lots of people who who've said things like "I'm a hugger, so come on in...." and then I'm obligated to hug them or shit gets weeeeird.

I'm a SF Bay Area kid and grew up around a lot of self-proclaimed huggers who were more or less good about respecting other people's preferences. When asked "are you a hugger?" one of my high school friends used to reply (with a bright smile) "No, I'm a kicker and a biter." Very few people tried hugging them after that. I offer this in case it's useful to you...
posted by Lexica at 10:21 AM on July 1 [3 favorites]


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