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MeFi post: Where's Kate? There she is! Oh, wait....

I'm not afraid for Kate, and as someone who had a hysterectomy in January, I can absolutely believe she's building her strength back up after abdominal surgery. I'm still on lift restrictions and my surgery was minor. What makes Kate's disappearance something I follow beyond general parasociality/leftover Anglophilia from living there in the 1980s is that I've realized that the royal press-spinners would be reacting the same way if Wills had beat the crap out of her and seriously injured her... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by gentlyepigrams at 7:31 PM on March 16, 2024

Lol Don Pepino I legitimately can’t tell which parts of that are sarcasm. No shade either way.

In all seriousness, I have been asking myself why I DO care about this, as a person with no history of interest in the royal family or in celebrity gossip in general.

I think there are a lot of factors really. There’s the general atmosphere of resenting the rich and powerful and the way they feel entitled to set a narrative and expect us not to question... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 10:03 AM on March 16, 2024

Tucker Carlson Duped By YouTubers Into Interviewing Fake Kate Middleton Whistleblower (Deadline)

Most of the time, I hate pranks, but I'm going to make an exception and just LOL at this:

The YouTubers’ faked letter of engagement for the whistleblower included a clause stating that the palace had a right to amputate one of his limbs should he fail his probation period.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by creepygirl at 9:22 PM on March 15, 2024

perhaps kate middleton has drank of the water of life made from the last exhalation of a juvenile shai-hulud that has been drowned in water and so has received in one traumatic burst the memories and knowledge of all the past members of her line and has thereby gained very mysterious and very puissant psychic abilities but only at the obliteration of what she thought of as herself before the ceremony and every time they try to take a picture she either refuses to put her... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 10:39 AM on March 15, 2024

it feels like the least weird possibility is “Kate has gained weight / is bloated from her illness, and indulged in Photoshop tricks to conceal it."

Part of what has made this whole thing fun for me is exactly this: the overwhelmingly likely explanation is boring (and precisely the one they told us at the start). We know they haven't actually locked her in the Tower of London, but its hilarious how they keep effing up the PR... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Blue Jello Elf at 8:33 AM on March 15, 2024

The Royal Family and ableism
posted to MetaFilter by ellieBOA at 1:57 AM on March 15, 2024

I’m still hung up on the absence of Kate’s rings in the photo. She wears them almost always. She appears to have even worn them while snorkeling a couple years ago. Her sapphire engagement ring is one of the most famous jewels in the world, and royal-watchers note its every appearance.

Did she choose not to wear her wedding band and her engagement ring—Diana’s engagement ring—in a Mothers’ Day photo? (Maybe.) Did she edit them out of the photo? (Probably not, as she... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by obloquy at 6:40 PM on March 14, 2024

It was the first example I could think of, please give a girl with COVID a break lol.
posted to MetaFilter by computech_apolloniajames at 5:45 PM on March 14, 2024

I'm not sure the US Supreme Court is a useful example of a functioning organization.
posted to MetaFilter by krisjohn at 5:39 PM on March 14, 2024

The Supreme Court forgot to scrub metadata from a recent decision, and they are arguably much more competent admin wise, so I don't think that proves much.

FWIW I think it's adorable so many here are trying to take things presented by KP at face value, or treat RF protocols the same way an average middle class family operates.
posted to MetaFilter by computech_apolloniajames at 5:32 PM on March 14, 2024

My conspiracy theory is that the photo wasn't altered at all and all the things we perceive as poor attempts at editing are really the first unedited images of these slightly weirdly shaped humans.
posted to MetaFilter by Joey Michaels at 3:59 PM on March 14, 2024

Perspective from the Bellingcat expert, in that Cut piece:

It reminds me a lot of other conspiracy theories where they’re clearly building the analysis around a theory rather than building a theory from analysis,” he said. As an example of this faulty reasoning, Higgins pointed to Aston’s incorrect claim that Kate’s sweater comes in only cream and camel: “It’s really poor analysis, but I usually see that stuff about terrible war crimes, so at least it’s not that.”
posted to MetaFilter by eponym at 3:26 PM on March 14, 2024

It's not the crime, it's the cover-up.
posted to MetaFilter by Marticus at 1:52 PM on March 14, 2024

Kate's face was pretty much lifted off a 2016 Vogue magazine cover. No Photoshop expert was going to be able to hide the existence of the original image.

The Vogue cover is not the same photo, and I find it highly unlikely that anyone, even bad Royal photo-shoppers, would not have access to oodles of outtakes from other photo sessions. It would be utterly goofy to use an old Vogue cover if you were trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by oneirodynia at 1:47 PM on March 14, 2024

The rest of you are seeing that sweater in cream or maybe beige as well, right? I've stared and stared at it and I just can't fathom all those people claiming it's blue.

Please accept this prize for Best Internet Meme/Outrage callback.

the prize is a dress
posted to MetaFilter by cooker girl at 11:40 AM on March 14, 2024

The rest of you are seeing that sweater in cream or maybe beige as well, right? I've stared and stared at it and I just can't fathom all those people claiming it's blue.
posted to MetaFilter by flabdablet at 11:24 AM on March 14, 2024

Q-Anon for Wine Moms is just so incredibly dismissive and misogynistic, I can't even.

the royal family screwed up so badly that even my heterosexual male friends are *obsessed*
posted to MetaFilter by run"monty at 9:46 AM on March 14, 2024

I'm just here for the shitposts.
posted to MetaFilter by CynicalKnight at 9:42 AM on March 14, 2024

Q-Anon for Wine Moms is just so incredibly dismissive and misogynistic, I can't even.
posted to MetaFilter by computech_apolloniajames at 8:14 AM on March 14, 2024

I stopped reading the news because of Gaza about three months ago and the sheer relief of the Kate story as news that can be analysed and read but is utterly pointless is very, very welcome. A friend was talking about the current popularity of cozy books - when the world is this awful, people want something light and reliable. The Royals deliver that in giant piles.

Also I just finished David Mitchell’s book, Unruly, on British royalty, and highly recommend it alongside... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dorothyisunderwood at 8:03 AM on March 14, 2024

Daily Mash: Who is Lady Rose Hanbury and are they really at it, her and him? A time-saving guide.
posted to MetaFilter by TheophileEscargot at 2:53 AM on March 14, 2024

Stumbling through a week of posts here on dear old Metafilter. Wowzers. I must have missed the “Conspiracy Week” banner on the front page. Put down the Jolt cola and mushrooms, or at least give me some. I kid. I kid. Enjoying the crank energy.
posted to MetaFilter by Don.Kinsayder at 11:54 PM on March 13, 2024

"And, of course, right out of the "if you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail" playbook, we've got the usual suspects (Daily Mail, Sun, Telegraph, probably others) putting up articles insinuating that Harry and Meghan photoshopped their pregnancy announcement picture. Of course, this is almost certainly bogus, as the photographer himself has come out with a denial (and the original color version of the photo). Yet another canny move by the Kensington PR team... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by krisjohn at 4:16 PM on March 13, 2024

I have photoshopped
the picture
you were hoping
would prove I was alive

forgive me

graphic design
is my passion
(Twitter)
posted to MetaFilter by ellieBOA at 12:32 PM on March 13, 2024

It's getting very Q-Anon-ish.

Have you any idea how much focus and concentration it takes to delete every last lizard scale on every. single. photo! of this family?

So maybe I do screw up the occasional sleeve or hemline. Sue me. Gettin too old for this shit.
posted to MetaFilter by flabdablet at 11:39 AM on March 13, 2024

and so got them dressed in their best.

This is kind of where your theory falls apart, run”monty. We have an extensive record of the clothes they’ve worn, and this kind of coincidence is both statistically unlikely and massively off-brand. Positing that you’re reaching for the reasonable, non-conspiratorial interpretation of events is sort of approaching spherical-cow territory.
posted to MetaFilter by not just everyday big moggies at 11:18 AM on March 13, 2024

Actually someone who was obsessive about this could probably take a look at casual photos of the children in general and see to what degree they repeat outfits. If they all repeat outfits all the time, that makes a stronger case for "this is just another outfit repetition and by coincidence they are all the same"; if they don't repeat outfits much for photo opportunities, that makes it less likely that they're all repeating the same outfits on two occasions. I don't know much about... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:11 AM on March 13, 2024

So run"monty, you're saying that the same clothes part of babybank theory is true, the photo doctoring part of babybank theory is true, but that part about its having been an old photo that was doctored is false?

So 1. four people exactly repeated their clothing choices on two days several months apart and 2. someone subsequently used photoshop to alter the March image of them wearing the same outfits to make it appear that they're wearing... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Don Pepino at 10:31 AM on March 13, 2024

> jenfullmoon: "Photographer claims the Monday photo of Prince William & Kate is legit"

In that article, the photographer gives a location for the photograph as nearby to 39 High Street in Datchet. A quick look around on Google Street View indicates what might have happened here: the bricks visible through the car window seem to be from a nearby brick wall, while the bricks above the car seem to be from the building a little further... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by mhum at 10:29 AM on March 13, 2024

I guess I don’t understand the difference when TIME magazine or People photoshops a full head of hair and enhances the color of a thinning pate on their covers but (gasp!) we were bamboozled!!! in this case? It’s not like they inform their readers. AFAIK, the only time Time was seriously criticized was the OJ mugshot photo cover.

For journalistic outlets, the acceptable photo adjustments are cropping, adjusting the color balance, and slightly... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by lisa g at 9:53 AM on March 13, 2024

I've seen the image. There are a lot of buildings like that in London the UK.
posted to MetaFilter by run"monty at 7:18 AM on March 13, 2024

That car photo with the mismatched bricks in the background, however... that's egregious to the point of malpractice.

We have plenty of buildings with mis-matched bricks in this country. Also, when your subject is behind tinted windows, you'll need to up the gain in that portion of the image. (Or have I failed to get the joke?)
posted to MetaFilter by run"monty at 7:04 AM on March 13, 2024

> I've wondered if the one kids crossed fingers planted on the table isn't a, well, fingers crossed to protect against telling a lie

Eh, it's unlikely that a little kid has the context to think "this photo is going to be used to tell a lie, I don't want to lie, I'll cross my fingers so I don't get in trouble later for it" like an American POW being forced to pose for propaganda photos.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by The corpse in the library at 6:57 AM on March 13, 2024

To answer some of the "why" questions about some photo editing weirdness, there are different ways to edit an image, and one is by cutting, pasting, and blending things, or selecting and changing color, overlaying your own pattern, etc., and these are human interventions, but you can also select an area, and give the AI editing program some guidance for "generative fill," and in this situation it's the AI that tries to fill in what it thinks you want, based on its understanding of what things of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by taz at 6:48 AM on March 13, 2024

Yes, concur: hanging tassel. I got the "bootheel is different" notion from the same Newsweek feverdream that had the wonky mullions theory. Right after I commented, I went back to stare at the poor child's boot again and concluded that the patch of pixels I had been marveling at looked more like trim than heel. I was going to comment with that conclusion last night but I thought making several comments in quick succession in a thread about a royals conspiracy... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Don Pepino at 5:58 AM on March 13, 2024

It seems Kate’s parents have, likewise, not been regularly seen for some time. I hope they’re continually supporting Kate in a safe location now.

Common things being common, intimate partner violence - especially the known statistical risk of violence to women/femme/transfolk particularly at the hands of their cohabiting partner - needs to be talked about so much more. Thank you to jenfullmoon for the Spare thread on Fanfare - definitely a lot of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by edithkeeler at 5:16 PM on March 12, 2024

It really has nothing to do with Kate as an individual at all.

Yup -- I keep thinking that Kate is really, like, a McGuffin here, or at least her existence as an actual individual human person is secondary; this is about the Royal Family and its bizarre traditions and norms, its (self-perceived) role in British identity, and the way those things are steamrollered over the identity and at times existence of actual human beings who are enmeshed in it... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Kat Allison at 4:54 PM on March 12, 2024

Linda Holmes, What the royal family doesn't understand about PR in 2024

What's more relevant to this story is something I would call recreational conjecture.
"She's dead," "She's missing," "She's in a coma" and "She's planning to get a divorce" are the kinds of things that don't even qualify as rumors, exactly; they are flights of fancy done for entertainment and social interaction.

It... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jenfullmoon at 4:48 PM on March 12, 2024

Which I guess is just IMPOSSIBLE TO IMAGINE because he's an itty bitty teeny weeny prince and thus all seams in his life will be perfectly aligned so that patterns meet just right? It's not possible the Royal Scottish Knittresses by Appointment to His Majesty the King could've knitted the kid a sweater with a pattern not matched exactly on one seam and nobody noticed because who gives a damn?


So so so extremely not important but the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by shesdeadimalive at 4:42 PM on March 12, 2024

Broadly, I think it’s missing the point to say stuff like “Kate deserves time to rest and recover without being photographed” because that’s not actually what this whole scandal/mystery/whatever is about. It really has nothing to do with Kate as an individual at all. It’s the fact that they are treating whatever’s going on with her as an absolute secret in notable contrast to the way they have handled previous medical events in the royal family. This has made people... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:30 PM on March 12, 2024

~ Wills is known to be shouty and sometimes violent.
~ (e) Kate's face is messed up. Puffed up, maybe…

Sooooo…
posted to MetaFilter by Thorzdad at 4:22 PM on March 12, 2024

I don’t think it’s necessary to speculate about the expressions in the photo when the photo is clearly manipulated anyway, tbh (and it 100% is, if anyone’s still skeptical about that - I have merely kinda-skilled-amateur photoshop skills and a moment’s glance makes it obvious.)
posted to MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:19 PM on March 12, 2024

hippybear: too uncomfortable and flatulent to be acceptable to the public
posted to MetaFilter by hippybear at 1:23 PM on March 12, 2024

MetaFilter: too uncomfortable and flatulent to be acceptable to the public
posted to MetaFilter by elkevelvet at 1:20 PM on March 12, 2024

Hmm....W&K's relationship seems to have kinda eroded over the last few years, at least. I've read rumors that Will and Kate's brief breakup pre-marriage was that he wanted to marry someone more aristocratic (someone named "Jecca Craig" keeps coming up, but I know nothing more there) and he couldn't get anyone else to, so he went back to Kate. As far as we know, he hasn't had any regular girlfriends OTHER than Kate, which I thought was sweet at the time that it worked out so easily... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jenfullmoon at 1:08 PM on March 12, 2024

If they’ve found an arrangement that allows them to prevent that then I applaud it.

I think they did find an arrangement. Feed Harry and Meghan to the sharks. Looks like so far the British press is holding up to the deal.
posted to MetaFilter by tclark at 12:40 PM on March 12, 2024

If they’ve found an arrangement that allows them to prevent that then I applaud it.

It seems like a big part of the arrangement early on was feeding the tabloids stories about Harry and (especially) Meghan instead. Now, they no longer have that escape valve.
posted to MetaFilter by lizard2590 at 12:40 PM on March 12, 2024

Yeah, I should perhaps clarify that I don’t begrudge William looking after his family. I just don’t believe he is. Kensington Palace’s constant lies over the past few years have led me to distrust anything they say. I don’t believe William is doing any school runs. I don’t believe he visited Kate in the hospital more than once. I don’t even believe that W&K live in the same house most of the time, as they don’t appear to like each other much (IYKYK).

But I do... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by obloquy at 12:26 PM on March 12, 2024

Life lottery picked you to carry out the institution and you don’t really have the option of noping out, and your brother is no longer here to throw under the bus. Your humanity comes second.

So...is this comment in the service of promoting of a better, more decent, more equal English society? It's a little hard to tell.

Maybe you could go tell his kids that even though Mom is sick and they're afraid, the life lottery says he has to go... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by St. Peepsburg at 12:19 PM on March 12, 2024

I think calling British police for a wellness check on a royal would go about as well as the Shelly Miscavige wellness check did, i.e. "We're telling you she's fine!"

I always think of the British Royal Family as being entertainment/reality television and I follow their dramas with popcorn and wine, but for all intents and purpose their jobs are really just like, publicity and marketing. For all the "abolish the monarchy" stuff (which I would agree... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jenfullmoon at 11:48 AM on March 12, 2024