A Fraction of a Death
April 28, 2015 11:49 AM Subscribe
TEN YEARS TO MIDNIGHT. Jon Bois (previously) follows up on last year's agonizing, slow death of the NBA with its perfect, beautiful opposite.
Also be sure to catch Jon's HOT TAKES on Mayweather-Pacquiao.
Also be sure to catch Jon's HOT TAKES on Mayweather-Pacquiao.
This wasn't quite as great as the slow death piece, but still very good. Really interesting how the problems with the simulation actually reinforced the idea of the Immortals replacing us, e.g. players exceeding maximum height and weight, mortals being the high scorers for championship teams but being unsigned free agents the next season.
If the previous piece was the NBA in the Children of Men universe, this one was the NBA in the Gattaca universe.
posted by skewed at 12:29 PM on April 28, 2015
If the previous piece was the NBA in the Children of Men universe, this one was the NBA in the Gattaca universe.
posted by skewed at 12:29 PM on April 28, 2015
He forgot Boxing Fight LXXIX
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:29 PM on April 28, 2015
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:29 PM on April 28, 2015
For now, all 440 players in the Association are like you and me: fallible. They might whiff a layup. They write the tip on the "total" line.
That's where I lost it (well, the first time).
posted by Etrigan at 12:39 PM on April 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
That's where I lost it (well, the first time).
posted by Etrigan at 12:39 PM on April 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I got to Wantsum Grapes and I had to X out of the page.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:40 PM on April 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:40 PM on April 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
That "Death of Isiah Thomas" video looks like the first time the Uruk-Hai show up in the LotR movies, and you know that Things Have Changed.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:51 PM on April 28, 2015
posted by wenestvedt at 12:51 PM on April 28, 2015
We should rig the Hugo award so that this wins Best Short Story. It certainly deserves it.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:59 PM on April 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:59 PM on April 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
Oh, goddammit, how did no one put the Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles on the ballot?
posted by Etrigan at 1:01 PM on April 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 1:01 PM on April 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Potomac Avenue: "He forgot Boxing Fight LXXIX"
That's the best one!
posted by Chrysostom at 1:20 PM on April 28, 2015
That's the best one!
posted by Chrysostom at 1:20 PM on April 28, 2015
Wow, that is incredibly melancholy and depressing, and I don't even watch basketball...
It isn't dark. The bugs are chirping, but it isn't dark yet. The sun is behind the trees, but the sky isn't black yet. It isn't time to come inside. We can still see the ball. No, we won't bother the neighbors. They aren't going to bed, because it isn't dark yet. Our mothers would not call us inside if only they knew it was the last night of our childhood. We can still see the ball. 8:53 is the afternoon, it is the late afternoon.
There is the moon. But it isn't dark.
posted by leahwrenn at 1:45 PM on April 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
It isn't dark. The bugs are chirping, but it isn't dark yet. The sun is behind the trees, but the sky isn't black yet. It isn't time to come inside. We can still see the ball. No, we won't bother the neighbors. They aren't going to bed, because it isn't dark yet. Our mothers would not call us inside if only they knew it was the last night of our childhood. We can still see the ball. 8:53 is the afternoon, it is the late afternoon.
There is the moon. But it isn't dark.
posted by leahwrenn at 1:45 PM on April 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Definitely not as interesting to me as the one last year. When we made all of the players incompetent, the gifs at the end had me laughing to the point of tears.
This guy Jon Bois is alright by me.
posted by dios at 3:32 PM on April 28, 2015
This guy Jon Bois is alright by me.
posted by dios at 3:32 PM on April 28, 2015
Oh, goddammit, how did no one put the Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles on the ballot?
By my estimation, the Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles, sitting in at around 44k words, would be in the running for the Hugo Award for Best Novel.
I would be okay with this.
posted by Gilead at 3:52 PM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
By my estimation, the Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles, sitting in at around 44k words, would be in the running for the Hugo Award for Best Novel.
I would be okay with this.
posted by Gilead at 3:52 PM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
By my estimation, the Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles, sitting in at around 44k words, would be in the running for the Hugo Award for Best Novel.
It would at least be a justifiable third place this year. And better than No Award.
posted by Etrigan at 4:05 PM on April 28, 2015
It would at least be a justifiable third place this year. And better than No Award.
posted by Etrigan at 4:05 PM on April 28, 2015
The small players all have such tiny heads.
Tiny, tiny heads.
And Obama is in the White House for decades.
There's a more serious collapse happening here than just basketball.
posted by clawsoon at 2:38 PM on April 29, 2015
Tiny, tiny heads.
And Obama is in the White House for decades.
There's a more serious collapse happening here than just basketball.
posted by clawsoon at 2:38 PM on April 29, 2015
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