Tear Here
July 2, 2023 1:45 PM Subscribe
The first website in the history of the internet that when you try to open it will tear incorrectly and splatter all over your shirt!
posted by hippybear at 2:31 PM on July 2, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 2:31 PM on July 2, 2023 [8 favorites]
Definitely the best of the web. Assuming, of course, that there isn’t a better condiment packet website out there somewhere.
I went through a Google search for condiment packets, and this site wasn’t even in the first ten pages of results, after which I stopped looking. (The instagram page of this site was on page five.) This pretty much encapsulates what is wrong with the web.
I appreciate having the chance to learn about this site.
posted by snofoam at 2:31 PM on July 2, 2023 [35 favorites]
I went through a Google search for condiment packets, and this site wasn’t even in the first ten pages of results, after which I stopped looking. (The instagram page of this site was on page five.) This pretty much encapsulates what is wrong with the web.
I appreciate having the chance to learn about this site.
posted by snofoam at 2:31 PM on July 2, 2023 [35 favorites]
Tear Here
Why did the ant run around and around the condiment packet?
Because the instructions said "Tear along the dotted line."
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:55 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]
Why did the ant run around and around the condiment packet?
Because the instructions said "Tear along the dotted line."
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:55 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]
Laisse les bons moments rouler et presser.
posted by clavdivs at 2:58 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 2:58 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
Still love the KFC ketchup because you can do this.
posted by JoeZydeco at 4:12 PM on July 2, 2023 [23 favorites]
posted by JoeZydeco at 4:12 PM on July 2, 2023 [23 favorites]
If it has a label that reads, "E-Z Open," you will need tools.
posted by Repack Rider at 4:16 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Repack Rider at 4:16 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]
I was sent this site recently to cheer me up, and it absolutely did! As a kid, I loved neat little single servings of anything. Once I went to a very fancy restaurant and saved an individually wrapped sugar cube, which is still in a jewelry box of mine to this day. More prosaically, I have found that extra takeout chopsticks can be used for gross duties around the house, like poking into drains.
I remember spending idle moments at fast-food restaurants wondering why it was "fancy" ketchup.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:19 PM on July 2, 2023 [6 favorites]
I remember spending idle moments at fast-food restaurants wondering why it was "fancy" ketchup.
posted by Countess Elena at 4:19 PM on July 2, 2023 [6 favorites]
It still makes me shake my head in amazement that such a humdrum everyday condiment could ever be described as "fancy". Grey Poupon, maybe; but ketchup?
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:36 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:36 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
This is some hardcore old school web nerdery of the kind that we don't see around here as much as we did before everything moved to social media. Love it.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:43 PM on July 2, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 4:43 PM on July 2, 2023 [10 favorites]
Just yesterday I got some Heinz ketchup packets from a restaurant, and they featured two of fifty(!) designs based on each state. Oh look, this website has four already!
posted by reductiondesign at 5:18 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by reductiondesign at 5:18 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
Not to be a drag here, but ketchup packets were invented by someone who doesn’t eat French fries while driving. I’m team dip it in the little Wendy’s condiment cup all the way.
posted by waving at 5:34 PM on July 2, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by waving at 5:34 PM on July 2, 2023 [5 favorites]
Sauce plz
posted by zamboni at 5:44 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by zamboni at 5:44 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
Leaking sauce pack facsimiles can apparently be used to scare people away.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:53 PM on July 2, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by kinnakeet at 5:53 PM on July 2, 2023 [5 favorites]
SqueezeOn/DispenSRpak is the one true single serving condiment technology.
posted by zamboni at 5:59 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by zamboni at 5:59 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
Has anyone ever seen one of these "seat savers" used in the wild? I am suspicious they have utility other than separating one from their money.
posted by onetime dormouse at 6:01 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by onetime dormouse at 6:01 PM on July 2, 2023 [3 favorites]
DIY condiment packets.
Don’t forget these won’t be sterile like the store bought ones are. Exploding ketchup packets could get messy.
posted by waving at 6:53 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
Don’t forget these won’t be sterile like the store bought ones are. Exploding ketchup packets could get messy.
posted by waving at 6:53 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
Nice easter egg in this site is that none of the packets are torn, but they've been carefully emptied somehow.
posted by joeyh at 7:27 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by joeyh at 7:27 PM on July 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
they've been carefully emptied somehow.
The about page covers the methodology of one of the site’s curators:
posted by zamboni at 8:42 PM on July 2, 2023 [21 favorites]
The about page covers the methodology of one of the site’s curators:
I carefully remove the contents of my packets by making an incision along one of the short seams on the back. (I prefer the righthand or bottom seam.) I rinse the inside of the packets thoroughly to ensure all sauce is expelled. (I employ a drop of dish soap for oily condiments.) I then wait until the packets are completely dry before I place them in baseball card cases to preserve them cleanly and safely for many generations.Posterity salutes you, noble sauce collector.
posted by zamboni at 8:42 PM on July 2, 2023 [21 favorites]
I always will hate the design of those fucking packets—but I've figured out the trick, and now they don't bother me personally. Still, I find it an affront to the consumer.
About the site: I like how the lineup of soy sauce packets suddenly sprung memories upon memories of me opening those packets only to have the soy sauce squirt all over my light-colored clothing. It's amazing that site like this can evoke so many memories from such an unexpected angle.
Oh man, running over McD's ketchup packets in the parking lot with our bicycles? Good times.
posted by not_on_display at 10:10 PM on July 2, 2023 [4 favorites]
About the site: I like how the lineup of soy sauce packets suddenly sprung memories upon memories of me opening those packets only to have the soy sauce squirt all over my light-colored clothing. It's amazing that site like this can evoke so many memories from such an unexpected angle.
Oh man, running over McD's ketchup packets in the parking lot with our bicycles? Good times.
posted by not_on_display at 10:10 PM on July 2, 2023 [4 favorites]
A magnificent obsession, to be sure.
I sort of hate ketchup. So eating fries in the car isn't a problem. (Unless they've not been salted!)
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 11:05 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
I sort of hate ketchup. So eating fries in the car isn't a problem. (Unless they've not been salted!)
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 11:05 PM on July 2, 2023 [2 favorites]
Ah, these are the kind of packets a crouton petter can really sniff.
posted by Phanx at 12:26 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Phanx at 12:26 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
"Leaking sauce pack facsimiles" is a great band name.
posted by DreamerFi at 1:38 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by DreamerFi at 1:38 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
For some reason, these make me think of Wacky Packages, but less wacky.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:00 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:00 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
It’s amazing how some packets open easily (opaque ones mainly) and others are impossible (clear soy sauce). This is the kind of quality website content I’ve been missing.
posted by Bunglegirl at 7:55 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Bunglegirl at 7:55 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Indomie Mi Goreng.
Game over.
https://indofoodonline.com.au/products/indomie-mi-goreng-fried-instant-noodles-1-box-40-packs?variant=39991824646294
posted by chmmr at 2:31 AM on July 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
Game over.
https://indofoodonline.com.au/products/indomie-mi-goreng-fried-instant-noodles-1-box-40-packs?variant=39991824646294
posted by chmmr at 2:31 AM on July 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
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