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Exterminate! Exterminate!
January 29, 2011 10:55 AM   Subscribe

For the kid who has everything else -- a battery-powered full sized Dalek.
posted by Chocolate Pickle (30 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
For years, I've been wondering, never quite getting it. Finally I understand why people want to have children.
posted by Lemurrhea at 10:59 AM on January 29, 2011 [4 favorites]


I want to like this, but... it's inflatable! Tho I guess they'd make great dodgems if every kid in the neighbourhood got one.

Also from the description it doesn't seem to have any sound effects. How cool would it be if it had one of those distortio-trons (what are they called again, sth-box?) so you could say anything you wanted in Dalek-voice?
posted by ClarissaWAM at 11:02 AM on January 29, 2011


Seriously, I never wanted kids until now. Of course, they would be very spoiled kids. All they'd have to do is climb into the Dalek and make their demands. I'd be fairly creeped out and forced to obey.
posted by ants at 11:06 AM on January 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


EXTERMINATE ALL HUMANS

(shot of smiling child)
posted by synaesthetichaze at 11:09 AM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


How does it handle stairs?
posted by flaterik at 11:09 AM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


ClarissaWAM, there are sound effects! From the link "The steering wheel has 10 authentic Dalek phrases that are button activated. " But I love your idea of it distorting one's voice to make anything said sound like a Dalek.
posted by ants at 11:11 AM on January 29, 2011


The thing that worries me about it is whether the kid would smother in there.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:11 AM on January 29, 2011


Obviously this is the first step in evolution.

Eventually it all turns out like this.
posted by hippybear at 11:13 AM on January 29, 2011


Part of me absolutely loves this, the other part feels like this is like giving a kid a Hilter costume or Nazi playset. The final (and largest) part of me is ashamed of what a nerdy set of throughts those other two are.
posted by piratebowling at 11:13 AM on January 29, 2011 [5 favorites]


coolish, but it's the new lame fat Dalek.
posted by MrBobaFett at 11:18 AM on January 29, 2011


A giant cardboard box is what you'd give kids who have everything else;
that way, they'd have a Dalek centurion, a TARDIS, and at least 27 star clusters to play with.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:28 AM on January 29, 2011 [7 favorites]


Finally, I want stairs.
posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 11:29 AM on January 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


If the makers of Doctor Who don't introduce a story line where the trad metal Daleks defeat the goofy new iDaleks, I swear I'll...complain about it on the Internet... (childhood nostalgia mumble grumble...)
posted by spoobnooble at 11:30 AM on January 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


In around 1967, me and every other kid at the time was running around the playground with a fist sticking up from our head yelling, "Exterminate! Exterminate!"

I would have simply died to have had this, fat and dumpy or not.

> the other part feels like this is like giving a kid a Hilter costume or Nazi playset.

I hate to break it to you, but Dr. Who is in fact a fictional series. Consider, e.g., that Galactus has repeatedly eaten entire inhabited planets, sort of making the Nazis look rather amateurish if you ask me, and yet The Silver Surfer was totally cool even when he worked for Galactus.

Funny story about me as a kid and Dr. Who.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 11:39 AM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


Daleks are the superior go-karts! Inferior go-karts will be EXTERMINATED!
posted by Artw at 11:48 AM on January 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


Why buy one when you can build your own Dalek?
posted by gyc at 12:03 PM on January 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


The new edition of Webster's Dictionary has next to its definition of the word "Wrong" a picture of that toy.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:06 PM on January 29, 2011


one of those distortio-trons (what are they called again, sth-box?)

They're called Ring Modulators, and they are also used for the current Cybermen. I think the one that's used in the new series is this one.
posted by Grangousier at 12:10 PM on January 29, 2011


Finally, I want stairs.

ELEVATE!
posted by Kikkoman at 12:17 PM on January 29, 2011


A giant cardboard box is what you'd give kids who have everything else;
that way, they'd have a Dalek centurion, a TARDIS, and at least 27 star clusters to play with.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:28 PM


Very true, and thus very eponysterical.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:39 PM on January 29, 2011


People are looking at this and seeing a reason to want children... I look at this and I see a reason to want a fucking battery-powered full-sized Dalek.
posted by scrowdid at 3:00 PM on January 29, 2011 [5 favorites]


No 3-6 year old is going to want this thing.

"Happy birthday! It's a DALEK!"

*blank stare*

*kid starts crying*
posted by orme at 3:56 PM on January 29, 2011


Wow, iDaleks can be cool after all.
posted by Foaf at 6:34 PM on January 29, 2011


ClarissaWAM, there are sound effects! From the link "The steering wheel has 10 authentic Dalek phrases that are button activated. " But I love your idea of it distorting one's voice to make anything said sound like a Dalek.

There's an app for that.

No 3-6 year old is going to want this thing.

"Happy birthday! It's a DALEK!"

*blank stare*

*kid starts crying*


Yeah, a bit early. And terrible twos may act like Daleks, but...
posted by Philofacts at 7:49 PM on January 29, 2011


For maximum realism and satisfaction the dalek should be occupied not by a kid - but by a small, bitter thespian who complains that this is not why they spent 3 years at RADA between takes.
posted by rongorongo at 11:39 PM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is hilarious. With the Dalek voice-over, the delighted kids kind of look like they're already members of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. (Yeah, I know, not really. The VHEM FAQ emphasizes "voluntary," not involuntary human extinction, which is what extermination would fall under.)
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 12:30 AM on January 30, 2011


The thing that worries me about it is whether the kid would smother in there.

Looks pretty safe from viewing this video. The sides are open which wasn't immediately apparent from the image in the original link. (ah to be a kid again!)
posted by samsara at 9:24 AM on January 30, 2011


You know, I have two kids... and I would so like to get one for each of them. However, I can't stop thinking about one simple fact; 'Dagnabbit, I weigh 68 kg!'

Guess I'll just have to build a few of my own...
posted by schade at 1:02 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


The thing that caught my eye, after the totally creepy image of a child's face staring out from a Dalek, was the phrase DALEKS INVADE NUREMBERG.
That is either going to be an alright episode, or be really, really fucking terrible. We get it, they're racist! Jeez.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 5:24 PM on January 30, 2011


I'm with scrowdid--kid my ass, build these for grownups!
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:15 PM on January 30, 2011


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