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Types of Toast,
March 20, 2011 7:16 PM   Subscribe

Types of Toast. Does what it says on the tin.
posted by Effigy2000 (47 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Man I never had alien toast.
posted by The Whelk at 7:19 PM on March 20, 2011 [4 favorites]


Four clicks in, I got "BREAD."

THAT IS NOT A TOAST THAT IS JUST A BREAD.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:26 PM on March 20, 2011 [3 favorites]


"May the wolves keep to the hills and the women to our beds"

*raises glass*

oh, that kind of toast.
posted by clearly at 7:27 PM on March 20, 2011 [3 favorites]


I'm still mad.









OK, I am better. Still, that's like, pre-toast. Not a real toast.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:28 PM on March 20, 2011 [3 favorites]


THAT IS NOT A TOAST THAT IS JUST A BREAD.

AKA 'Raw toast'.
posted by pompomtom at 7:28 PM on March 20, 2011 [7 favorites]


waffel

struddle

earing

horney


English-as-a-Second-Language Toast
posted by kozad at 7:28 PM on March 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


Flaming Toast was missing frosted tips, a pink silk shirt, body glitter, a shar-pei, and a personal soundtrack.
posted by msbutah at 7:31 PM on March 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


There's something akin to the letter to Principal Vernon at the end of "The Breakfast Club" going on here.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:31 PM on March 20, 2011


Man, remember when this kind of site WAS what the internet was for? I miss those days.
posted by symbioid at 7:33 PM on March 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


Questions:

1. How old do you think the artist/creator is? I like to think it's a kid who, for whatever reason, drew a bunch of different types of toast, and his/her dad helped make the website.

2. How did the OP find this? Does TypesOfToast advertise?
posted by MrFTBN at 7:35 PM on March 20, 2011


Would you like some hot buttered... toast?
posted by Leon at 7:36 PM on March 20, 2011


What is "Earing Toast?" Toast that 'ears? Govnuh?
posted by Curious Artificer at 7:39 PM on March 20, 2011


Toast Tartar
posted by blue_beetle at 7:43 PM on March 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


Dear Mr. Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole morning in the toaster for whatever it is that we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an list telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms and in the most convenient definitions.... But what we found out is that each one of us is a buttered batty. And an wheat thin. And a rosemary tart. A strawberry tart. And a kaiser roll. Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club.
posted by The Whelk at 7:44 PM on March 20, 2011 [4 favorites]


Man, remember when this kind of site WAS what the internet was for? I miss those days.

I don't.
posted by sebastienbailard at 7:46 PM on March 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


And a kaiser roll. Does that answer your question?

Yes, yes that will do nicely.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:48 PM on March 20, 2011


All around the country, coast to coast,
People always say "What do you like most?"
I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast,
I always tell 'em: "I like toast."






YEAH TOAST!
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 8:03 PM on March 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


'Cos there's so much to choose from.
There's brown bread, white bread,
All sorts of wholemeal bread;
It comes in funny packages
With writing on the side,
But it doesn't matter which one you have
'Cos when you cut the crusts off,
Have it with marmalade
Or butter, cheese, tomatoes, beans,
Banana
Or chocolate if you're strange,
It doesn't really matter.
posted by maudlin at 8:10 PM on March 20, 2011


Nice, but the pinnacle of toast innovation was underpant toast.
posted by davelog at 8:22 PM on March 20, 2011


Needs a glass of water on the side for dippin'
posted by Ad hominem at 8:24 PM on March 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well at least it doesn't have an annoyingly long theme song that plays before showing you each piece of toast, so it's got that going for it.
posted by scalefree at 8:32 PM on March 20, 2011


Great! I love me some Maillard reaction action.
posted by unliteral at 8:48 PM on March 20, 2011


Yes, toast. Yes, indeed, toast. Well, why not? Why in the bloody hell not? Bring on the toast. Bring it on in all of its various types and colors. More toast. Even more toast! Toast for everybody! Toast.
posted by meh at 8:52 PM on March 20, 2011


Well, since the OK Go "Last Leaf" toast video didn't get its own post (unlike the other ones), this thread seems a good place to put it.
posted by girlhacker at 8:55 PM on March 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


A red toaster is all you need.
posted by unliteral at 8:59 PM on March 20, 2011


Missing Toast Face Killah.
posted by piratebowling at 9:08 PM on March 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


THIS TOAST NEEDS SALMON FOR TOAST
posted by louche mustachio at 9:27 PM on March 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


I liked this far more than I thought I would.
posted by Evernix at 9:29 PM on March 20, 2011


louche mustachio: “OK, I am better. Still, that's like, pre-toast. Not a real toast.”

No, pre-toast is the one where there's a little picture of wheat stalks. (I imagine that one will just make you angry all over again, unfortunately.)
posted by koeselitz at 10:02 PM on March 20, 2011


lm: Bread is toast unplugged.

No Hitchhikers jokes yet?
posted by maxwelton at 10:28 PM on March 20, 2011


Ahem. There was no Powdered Toast, Man.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 11:33 PM on March 20, 2011


I also didn't see Melba.
posted by The Whelk at 11:34 PM on March 20, 2011


My first taste of toast ~ a taste test ~ was best. I tossed other toasts.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:44 PM on March 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


Alien toast is what lurks at the back of the fridge when I've forgotten about the loaf of bread back there.
posted by arcticseal at 12:00 AM on March 21, 2011


YEAH TOAST [tf2 style]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:30 AM on March 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Is this the thread where I talk about how the best toast in the world is made with cheesey bread with something hot in it, like green chile or black pepper? That is the best toast. Green chile and cheddar and swiss with pepper are my favorites. I have been known to purchase a loaf of this bread and eat nothing but cheesey toast and, like, milk for at least 48 hours.
posted by NoraReed at 3:02 AM on March 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


It has recently come to my attention that I love toast.
posted by sonascope at 3:11 AM on March 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Conveyor Toast makes breakfast exciting!
posted by Ron Thanagar at 5:14 AM on March 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Great. Not only do I crave a slice of hot toast (with Marionberry preserves) but I now realize I will never rest until I own a working Toast-O-Lator. Because watching my toast march into Hell and out again every morning would be indescribably wonderful.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:36 AM on March 21, 2011


Why has British toast got a massive poo on its head? Is this something to do with the Tea Party?
posted by criticalbill at 5:44 AM on March 21, 2011


The Whelk: "I also didn't see Melba."

"And I have loved everything about Melba toast: the scraping sound it makes when spread with butter, how sobering the crunch can be when eaten dry. I even loved tearing open the plastic and producing two unbroken, pristine tablets (sometimes I'm tempted to place a little bread stick Moses between them). But above all things, I loved that they were free."
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 6:13 AM on March 21, 2011


The co-worker at the desk next to me snacks on Melba toast every afternoon and the crunching drives me up the wall. Sometimes she changes it up with celery just to twist the knife.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:58 AM on March 21, 2011


I like mine quick and wet.
posted by slipperytoast at 8:11 AM on March 21, 2011


Why does old toast have a goatee and glasses? Usually my old toast is green and smells suspiciously of dirt.
posted by owlparliament at 11:59 AM on March 21, 2011


Does what it says on the tin.

Tinned toast??
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:55 PM on March 21, 2011


Every once in a while you stumble upon a blog that would be sooo appreciated by somebody you haven't talked to for longer than you can remember...and you are compelled to email them with a link to Types of Toast...you just know that even after all this time, it will be understood and adored. Thanks, MetaFilter!
posted by iamkimiam at 5:12 PM on March 21, 2011


Mr Raisin Toast
posted by eye of newt at 9:46 PM on March 21, 2011


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