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My Drunk Kitchen
April 28, 2011 3:29 PM   Subscribe

What goes better than alcohol and cooking? My Drunk Kitchen brings you important recipes for when you're boozed, like grilled cheese, mac & cheese, omelettes, and everyone's favorite: cookies!

As a bonus, the lovely host of My Drunk Kitchen (@harto) also provides some drunken advice to the internet at large in Advice from the Hart.
posted by whitneyarner (55 comments total) 45 users marked this as a favorite

 
Yeah okay, except cooking while drunk is fucking dangerous.
posted by doublehappy at 3:37 PM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


My advice, do not flambeaux the corn dogs.
posted by clavdivs at 3:38 PM on April 28, 2011


Via reddit: Made sangria and creme brulee last night. Check out the result.
posted by justkevin at 3:38 PM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


What goes better than alcohol and cooking?

One or two bong rips, about two hours before I'm ready to eat.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 3:41 PM on April 28, 2011 [11 favorites]


What goes better than alcohol and cooking?

Alcohol and someone else doing the cooking!

Seriously, though, this is awesome. And I like that she has the same response as I do to bad white wine: "This is disgusting! I'd better finish it all right now."
posted by infinitywaltz at 3:43 PM on April 28, 2011 [6 favorites]


Cook your way to rehab!
posted by gagglezoomer at 3:49 PM on April 28, 2011


Shame she doesn't cover recipes to get drunk to, like risotto, which was purpose-built for it.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:51 PM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


A few years ago my wife organized a dinner party where all of the dishes were grownup takes on kids food; fancy mac 'n' cheese and all that. Included on the menu was milkshakes with bourbon in them so I went to the liquor store to pick up a bottle, but when I got there everything I could see on the shelves was labeled "whiskey bourbon." I didn't know anything about bourbon (or whiskey) and wanted to make sure "whiskey bourbon" didn't taste radically different from bourbon, so I asked the nearest sales clerk what the difference was. He launched into this long speech about corn and wheat and charred oak barrels and then asked me what I'd be serving with it. When I told him I was just going to pour it into a milkshake he got really annoyed, waved his hand at me and said "Then it doesn't matter which one you buy!" I walked out feeling a bit bad that I'd wasted the bourbon expert's time, but the milkshakes were delicious.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:56 PM on April 28, 2011 [31 favorites]


I believe there's a simple formula here: Fire + Alcohol = More Fire.
posted by tommasz at 4:03 PM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


This is hilarious enough for my hilarity needs.
posted by aubilenon at 4:12 PM on April 28, 2011


Yeah okay, except cooking while drunk is fucking dangerous.

I always got the impression the Urban Peasant was drunk all the time on his show, and what he cooked didn't look dangerous at all. A lot of people drink while cooking, myself included when I can--I think the trick is to not get ridiculous falling-down shitfaced and you're fine, and not to be completely useless in a kitchen in any state. Also, you wouldn't believe how many people working in restaurants' kitchens are either drinking or on drugs on the job.
posted by Hoopo at 4:13 PM on April 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


What goes better than alcohol and cooking?

Alcohol and sex with a random bar hopper.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:14 PM on April 28, 2011


I make some of my best food creations while drunk.

I think...
posted by Splunge at 4:15 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


One or two bong rips, about two hours before I'm ready to eat.

Personally, once I hit the vaporizer it's about five minutes before all hell breaks loose.
posted by mykescipark at 4:18 PM on April 28, 2011


My best/worst drunken cooking experience involved a 12-pack of Pabst and the creation of a legendary foodstuff subsequently entitled the Swiss Peanut-Butter Misswich (on Toasted Sourdough). Don't try it. It's...not good.
posted by infinitywaltz at 4:21 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


My best/worst drunken cooking experience involved a 12-pack of Pabst and the creation of a legendary foodstuff subsequently entitled the Swiss Peanut-Butter Misswich (on Toasted Sourdough). Don't try it. It's...not good.

My friends (not me!) decided it would be a great idea to get some crappy delivery pizza and then put... chocolate on top. Yeah, it wasn't good.
posted by alaijmw at 4:24 PM on April 28, 2011


You're friends with the Olson Twins?
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:27 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh, hey, I went to college with her! I think she was the one who introduced my brother to his girlfriend. Oh, Hannah...you've come so far. (sniffle)
posted by Diagonalize at 4:32 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Drunk cooking has never turned out too badly for me. Drunk baking, however, will only ever end in tears, ruined pains, and the feeling that maybe you should keep the muffins anyway.
posted by honeydew at 4:40 PM on April 28, 2011


Wherein pains=pans. Dammit, I'm not even drunk or cooking and I still can't type!
posted by honeydew at 4:42 PM on April 28, 2011


When drunk, my recipe is simple: go to Pizzeria or White Castle, Order Food, Eat on Subway. If you are up to actually cooking, you really arent drunk enough.
posted by jonmc at 4:44 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


If you are up to actually cooking, you really arent drunk enough.

I have to respectfully disagree, here--one of my favorite activities in the world is cooking while maintaining an inebriation level of "glow". It's like a game! But with food! And ideally, friends doing same.
posted by everichon at 4:53 PM on April 28, 2011


I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have the patience to edit these.

She is cute, and these are reasonably funny. One of the things that makes it less funny is that most of my social time here in SF is tremendously alcohol soaked. She seems like everyone I run into everywhere, rather than hilariously incompetent.
posted by poe at 4:54 PM on April 28, 2011


maintaining an inebriation level of "glow".

Like I said: Not Drunk Enough.
posted by jonmc at 4:56 PM on April 28, 2011


I always cook with wine - once in a while I even put a little in the food.
posted by Daily Alice at 5:09 PM on April 28, 2011 [6 favorites]


Thufferin' Thuccotash!!
posted by ReeMonster at 5:24 PM on April 28, 2011


Daily Alice: "I always cook with wine - once in a while I even put a little in the food."

Have you met my brother? I believe he teaches a class on this very subject.
posted by Splunge at 5:29 PM on April 28, 2011


Shin Ramen.
Two eggs.
Minced Garlic.
Kim chi.
Tuna.
One can of mixed Chinese Vegetables.
1 tbs Soy Sauce.
1 tsp Sesame - chili oil.
One tsp Peanut Butter.
All together.

Awesome goodness at 3am.
posted by john wilkins at 5:36 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is what I would have done had I access to a video camera when I was single, mostly drunk four days out of the week, making bad/weird food choices in my kitchen. There would be have a chorus of talky cats in the background though.
posted by Kitteh at 5:42 PM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


She's right- omelets ARE hard. Mine always end up as scrambled eggs.
posted by rebel_rebel at 5:49 PM on April 28, 2011


Yeah okay, except cooking while drunk is fucking dangerous.

I honestly read that as "cooking while drunk is fucking delicious".
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:54 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


I honestly read that as "cooking while drunk is fucking delicious".

A statement at once less easily refuted and more grammatically challenged than the original.
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 6:02 PM on April 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I LOVE HER, THANK YOU!
*had bourbon w/ dinner, sorry*
posted by Maaik at 6:08 PM on April 28, 2011


Yeah I have a lot of food prep/kitchen friends and pretty much any meal you've eaten in a restraunt has been made by people drunk, stoned and coked out of their minds.
posted by The Whelk at 6:30 PM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


MetaFilter supplies all of my creepy internet crushes.

Oh, hey, I went to college with her! I think she was the one who introduced my brother to his girlfriend. Oh, Hannah...you've come so far. (sniffle)

Tell her I have a deep fryer, and little concern for personal safety.
posted by cmoj at 6:40 PM on April 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


the first couple years after college, I lived in an apartment with roommates who liked to throw parties, and at 4 am, we'd basically open our fridge and make food for anyone else who was still around. Toast with ice cream? Of course. Spaghetti with olive oil, white wine? Sure. Leftover white rice refried with minced garlic and topped with fried eggs? why not. Everything tastes better at the good end of a great night.

Usually, by the time the food was finished, and served, the sun had risen, the buses were running again and we had a perfectly good to excuse to kick everyone out and go to sleep.

I still smile a little when, fifteen years on, some of those friends tell me that their favorite use for leftover white rice on a Saturday morning is refried in garlic with eggs and a Bloody Mary.
posted by bl1nk at 8:26 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


I thoroughly enjoyed these, even more now that I'm thoroughly drunk.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:34 PM on April 28, 2011


She's right- omelets ARE hard. Mine always end up as scrambled eggs.

It's always the simple stuff, eh? For me, it's anything that requires you to just leave it be and don't mess around with--I can completely ruin rice, and totally fail at roast beef, but I can make just about anything that you can move around a pan.
posted by Hoopo at 8:59 PM on April 28, 2011


Fritattas. The Omlets You Bake.

Or the Quiche that doesn't need a crust.

I have thrown so much strange shit into a pie crust at 2 in the morning with a bunch of egg and been pleasantly surprised at the result. The time it takes gives you a chance to sober up and then you have a greasy protein bomb to suck up all the bad juices sloshing around you.

But quick stuff? Yeah that's fried sandwiches.

If you give it to me. I can fry it . I have the pans. We will make this happen.
posted by The Whelk at 9:05 PM on April 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


The cookies one was a little too much like my memories of Mom.
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:16 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


Something I learned trying to watch West Coast hockey games while living in Europe - anything cooked between the hours of 3 and 5 am must include Nutella.
posted by mannequito at 1:41 AM on April 29, 2011 [2 favorites]


Somehow this is far more amazing than I could have imagined.
posted by needs more cowbell at 2:02 AM on April 29, 2011


I can't wait for the bloody mary episode.
posted by peeedro at 2:52 AM on April 29, 2011


Imma let you finish. Omelette...
posted by telstar at 3:30 AM on April 29, 2011


I honestly read that as "cooking while drunk is fucking delicious".

Okay, I was scanning the thread and mentally processed that as "cooking while fucking is delicious." But I'm not sure how that would work... hot surfaces, pointy things and whatnot...
posted by kinnakeet at 5:26 AM on April 29, 2011


Nthing that cooking while drunk is dangerous. Way back in my degenerate younger years, I once woke up, staggered into my kitchen to grab a glass of water and thought "Wow....it's awfully hot in here". Turns out I had come home inebriated the night before, cooked a batch of my infamous Mr. Noodles Supreme and Deluxe, globbed it down and gone to bed.....leaving the burner on all night. I still consider myself highly fortunate that I didn't burn down the building. I made some damn fine Mr. Noodles though, so you know, it all worked out.
posted by Go Banana at 5:30 AM on April 29, 2011


I wonder how amusing the 2021 update of this will be: Now grotesquely overweight and red-faced, her cheeks a maze of blown-out capillaries, our host walks with a pronounced limp due to neuropathy. Although she says she's making 'Osso Bucco' and 'Eggs Benedict' or 'Yakisoba', every recipe is neat Vodka poured over cheerios.

An unattended child is heard wailing off-camera.

Point being this is cute and vaguely funny, but yeah, it definitely pushed my 'that looks like entry-level dependency' buttons. Hahaha girl drinks until intoxicated, apparently alone, and records videos to garner anonymous attention. this is great!!!

Not trying to be a necessary downer, but what if the host of this, instead of a fresh-faced cutie, was a worn out 50-something as noted above? Still funny?
posted by mrdaneri at 6:15 AM on April 29, 2011


What goes better than alcohol and cooking?

Ambien! It's comes with a challenging forensic puzzle as a bonus. How did the ceiling get covered with a mossy field of pesto?
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:58 AM on April 29, 2011 [3 favorites]


Not trying to be a necessary downer, but what if the host of this, instead of a fresh-faced cutie, was a worn out 50-something as noted above? Still funny?

No. But she isn't, so...

it definitely pushed my 'that looks like entry-level dependency' buttons.

Ehhh, she travels to England for a few weeks in the second episode with/to friends, has a few roommates in what looks like a pretty nice, probably-NYC apartment in the fourth episode, appears clean and well-educated in all the episodes...

I mean, it's possible what you say, but there really isn't any evidence that it isn't just a healthy sense of fun and freedom from a girl in uni or grad school, which is what it looks like to me.
posted by gilrain at 7:32 AM on April 29, 2011 [1 favorite]


Cooking while sauced? I can't believe nobody has mentioned the late great Julia Child, or the Galloping Gourmet. They made for some of the greatest cooking-show viewing of all time! (Of course I can't say unequivocally that they were half in the bag some of the time, but you get my drift.)
posted by PepperMax at 7:34 AM on April 29, 2011


Point being this is cute and vaguely funny, but yeah, it definitely pushed my 'that looks like entry-level dependency' buttons. Hahaha girl drinks until intoxicated, apparently alone, and records videos to garner anonymous attention. this is great!!!

Shit you should see me and my friends. In comparison, this girl is a paragon of virtue and sobriety.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:12 AM on April 29, 2011


NEXT LEVEL BOOZE AND COOKING.
THAT'S SMART.
posted by Theta States at 10:00 AM on April 29, 2011


I have made waffle batter for the next morning, while shitfaced, so many times that I haven't screwed it up in years.
posted by gurple at 10:17 AM on April 29, 2011


Bieber?
posted by The ____ of Justice at 2:11 PM on April 29, 2011


Nobody talking about safety has watched these videos. There are other people there in 2 or 3 at the very least and the cookies one specifically mentions a sober friend to watch for fire. He even pre-heats the oven for her.

Also, she's like 1/10th as drunk as she seems. She's just a bubbly person. These are funny, lighten up.
posted by DU at 5:06 AM on May 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


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