You will not need to circumvent the Times' paywall for this.
May 10, 2011 12:46 PM   Subscribe

The New York Times, World's Newspaper of Record, Closes Its Doors Forever. "In this edition of the New York Times, our usual 14 verticals (known for 141 years as 'sections') have been collapsed to 3. The reason is a marked lack of reporters and hence reportage." Former National Lampoon editor Tony Hendra launches a biting satire of the NYTimes, where the owners may have 'torched' the building for insurance money, Maureen Dowd has been on vacation since 1997, and William Shortz melts down.
posted by quadrilaterals (79 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Previously, sort of.
posted by theodolite at 12:54 PM on May 10, 2011


Get your novelty

.'s

here!
posted by panaceanot at 12:56 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


"TV taps Berlusconi for Two and a Half Men"
posted by zippy at 12:56 PM on May 10, 2011


Misses it's mark in at least one manner: it's readable.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:57 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Missing the 'thesaurus feature'. Or what IRFH said.
posted by HLD at 12:59 PM on May 10, 2011


The final crossword is my favourite so far.
posted by Behemoth at 1:00 PM on May 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


The title character in "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" will step aside to be replaced by Batman, the show's producers say.

WIN.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:01 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Sorry, but views of burning skyscrapers are still not funny, especially when the shopped part looks like it might have been clipped from a 9/11 WTC video.

Other than that, clever. Especially "Mike the Intern" doing the TimesCast.
posted by beagle at 1:01 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


David Koch's Scintillating Opera Based on Life of Hayek Draws Plaudits

David Koch's Scintillating Ballet Based on Work of Ayn Rand Draws Plaudits

I like where this is going.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:03 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wow. Kicking while down. It's not really funny when the mocked target is on life support.
posted by clockzero at 1:04 PM on May 10, 2011


What if the mocked target on life support is a clown?
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:07 PM on May 10, 2011 [10 favorites]


So this is like The Onion, but not funny?




Hey, Chris Christie is fat and Donald Trump wears a toupee. Take that, print media hacks!
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:07 PM on May 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


I dunno, I've been enjoying my digital access. At least, ever since my friend logged in to his name on all of my computers.
posted by ReeMonster at 1:08 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm certainly going to get me a Chinese Express Card. (look to the right of Krugman's kitties.)
posted by Obscure Reference at 1:11 PM on May 10, 2011


shatire
posted by hal9k at 1:11 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


People still think rape jokes are funny?
posted by koeselitz at 1:12 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


PR for this arrived in my inbox this morning. (They've got some money.) For background:
The parody marks the debut of TheFinalEdition.com www.thefinaledition.com, a new humor site from Tony Hendra (This is Spinal Tap, National Lampoon) and a band of comics including Terry Jones, Peter Sagal (NPR’s Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me), and Mike Myers.
...
Hendra has made a career out of poking fun at the media – from his infamous Not The New York Times, which he created with George Plimpton during the 1978 NYC newspaper strike, to My Wall Street Journal, which came out just months before the 2008 Wall Street meltdown.
Poor Mike Myers. First the Love Guru, and now this.
posted by bicyclefish at 1:15 PM on May 10, 2011


To hell with the rest of the work I have to do today. I'm filling out that crossword puzzle.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:16 PM on May 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny.
posted by Houyhnhnm at 1:16 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny.

My thoughts as well. After the previous 9/11 memorial post I had to take a step away from the imagery and stories for awhile.
posted by odinsdream at 1:23 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


To hell with the rest of the work I have to do today. I'm filling out that crossword puzzle.

It's really easy. It shouldn't take more than 15-30 minutes.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:24 PM on May 10, 2011


Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny.

Is it funny somewhere else?
posted by mrgrimm at 1:25 PM on May 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


From the 'Thomas Friedman' editorial:
"And so we find ourselves blowing the horns of this dilemma. . ."
Quoted for verisimilitude. You can't satirize that guy.
posted by Herodios at 1:27 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Is it funny somewhere else?

Seemed like a good joke to me here in Seattle.
posted by Mars Saxman at 1:27 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Houyhnhnm: "Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny."

I didn't like that either.
posted by zarq at 1:27 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny.

Not everything has to be about 9/11.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:30 PM on May 10, 2011 [17 favorites]


Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny.

Really? Never again? Wow.
posted by yerfatma at 1:31 PM on May 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


"WILLIAM Shortz?" That's so grating I don't know if I'm gonna read this.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 1:32 PM on May 10, 2011


What if the mocked target on life support is a clown?

A sad crying clown in an iron lung is hilarious.
posted by Copronymus at 1:32 PM on May 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Oh god, I take it back. That puzzle, oh man. All is forgiven.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 1:33 PM on May 10, 2011


Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny.

How did an arson joke call out a sensitivity parade? Jesus.

It's like a lot of comedy. Some of the site is funny, some of it's flat. I think it's decent.
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:36 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sorry for comment bombing, but apparently Francis Heaney made that puzzle and Will is NOT pleased. This should be fun.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 1:37 PM on May 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


How did an arson joke call out a sensitivity parade? Jesus.

I had a mini panic attack after absentmindedly clicking the link, and seeing that photo before realizing that it was 'shopped, and a really distasteful joke.

It's still a poignant image for many of us, and the Photoshop job there was a little too convincing for comfort.
posted by schmod at 1:45 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Mayor Curley: “How did an arson joke call out a sensitivity parade? Jesus. It's like a lot of comedy. Some of the site is funny, some of it's flat. I think it's decent.”

Decent? This thing is pretty much flat-out stupid. It's 1941 stupid. Hey look, some of the letters in the header are falling off – just like the web page is a real building on fire! Haw haw!
posted by koeselitz at 1:47 PM on May 10, 2011


People still think rape jokes are funny?

On Metafilter, so long as the topic is prison...yes it seems.
posted by rough ashlar at 1:49 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Done.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:54 PM on May 10, 2011


Unfunny headlines, an apparent axe to grind, and a date rape joke.
How... not funny.
posted by natteringnabob at 1:54 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


It's still a poignant image for many of us

This is a very obviously edited photograph of NYT's corporate headquarters, not of the World Trade Center or surrounding buildings. It's even animated.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:55 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


a really distasteful joke

It would be if it were a terrorism joke. It's not. It's about a broke print media company burning down it's headquarters for insurance money. Not everything revolves around 9/11.
posted by spaltavian at 1:56 PM on May 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Not all of it is funny, but I'm not sure how much more clearly they could telegraph that this was a joke. I mean, Trump never shows up anywhere bald.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:57 PM on May 10, 2011


What's most shocking to me is how easily I bought the FPP. "Oh? Well, that's a little sudden, but I guess I'm not all that surprised really."
posted by stoneweaver at 2:00 PM on May 10, 2011 [9 favorites]


I'll stick to the Onion.
posted by emhutchinson at 2:07 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Heh.
posted by Splunge at 2:10 PM on May 10, 2011


I thought the jokes that weren't funny weren't very funny. I mean Krugman: I need a micro loan to get home? Slow, slow clap.

The burning building was very clever though.
posted by Sebmojo at 2:12 PM on May 10, 2011


Keep in mind, though, that only the first twenty jokes are free. After that, you need to get a digital subscription.
posted by notme at 2:14 PM on May 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


Too soon?
posted by blue_beetle at 2:27 PM on May 10, 2011


A lot of that was meh, but nothing satisfies me like a crossword puzzle. I had read through the clues and was mildly amused until I looked up at the puzzle again and realized that holy crap, the clues actually seemed to fit...and of course then I had to sit down and actually do the darn thing.

Also, I support the mocking of Thomas Friedman in any and all forms.
posted by naoko at 2:37 PM on May 10, 2011


I support the mocking of Thomas Friedman in any and all forms.

The proper form for that is: Thomas Who?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:39 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


On a vaguely related note:

The NYT has a TV commercial in which they tout their Pulitzer Prize winning reporters and the voice-over guy mispronounces Pulitzer. You'd thing someone would have caught something like that.
posted by Splunge at 2:40 PM on May 10, 2011


THINK damn it!
posted by Splunge at 2:41 PM on May 10, 2011


Metafilter: THINK damn it!
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:44 PM on May 10, 2011


Featuring Terry Jones -- Not the insane Koran burner!
posted by Catblack at 2:53 PM on May 10, 2011


Um, yeah, a burning skyscraper in New York? Not funny.

Then the terrorists have won. Way to go, Houyhnhnm.
posted by ryanrs at 3:01 PM on May 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


This makes me really uncomfortable. I mean, 1986 called, it wants its casual racism back much?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:12 PM on May 10, 2011


Then the terrorists have won. Way to go, Houyhnhnm.

Only outside the 5 boroughs: none of the complainers in-thread seem to actually be from NYC.
posted by yerfatma at 3:20 PM on May 10, 2011


Wow. Kicking while down. It's not really funny when the mocked target is on life support.

NEVAR FORGET that the New York Times sat on the warrantless spying story until after the 2004 election.

Clowns are (usually) harmless, the New York Times is not.
posted by formless at 3:25 PM on May 10, 2011 [8 favorites]


I thought the Forbes New List, The Forbes 40,000,000, Ranks Most Exploitable Americans By Name article (that was linked in the Ebert thread) was pretty good.

Some of the ads are pretty funny, too, but the whole "print is dying" joke spreads more than a little thin.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:35 PM on May 10, 2011


Wait, are you people seriously complaining about a date rape joke about DOGS, or are you making meta jokes? I can't tell. Do you really have a problem with jokes about animal sex?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 3:43 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Pictures of burning buildings were the only impact 9/11 had on my life. So next time you post one, please include a trigger warning.

(I can joke about this now that Osama's dead, right guys?)
posted by ryanrs at 3:45 PM on May 10, 2011


Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese: “Wait, are you people seriously complaining about a date rape joke about DOGS, or are you making meta jokes? I can't tell. Do you really have a problem with jokes about animal sex?”

There's no fucking joke, man. There's just... date rape, and dogs. Which is funny because – what, because dogs are funny? Because date rape is funny? Because it's funny to think of animals being all serious about rape like silly humans?

Really, it's just a rape joke. That's all – a joke about how date rape is silly. And even if it weren't a lame attempt at boringly trite humor that has no punch and no real edge to it at all, it would still be offensive for that fact alone.
posted by koeselitz at 4:03 PM on May 10, 2011


Really, it's just a rape joke. That's all – a joke about how date rape is silly. And even if it weren't a lame attempt at boringly trite humor that has no punch and no real edge to it at all, it would still be offensive for that fact alone.

I believe the joke is intended to be that the NY Times style section would treat the possibility of non-consensual sex among dogs as a worthy topic for a hyperventilating article on Society Today. What is being trivialized is not rape but people's obsession with their dogs to the detriment of coverage of meaningful social issues.
posted by Diablevert at 4:13 PM on May 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


Also, a hairless dog! Ha!
posted by ryanrs at 4:15 PM on May 10, 2011


There's no fucking joke, man. There's just... date rape, and dogs. Which is funny because – what, because dogs are funny? Because date rape is funny? Because it's funny to think of animals being all serious about rape like silly humans?

No, koeselitz. Because it satirizes the hype and sensationalism that the most annoying NYT journalists will stoop to in order to fill copy and press a social hot-button...

Never mind. It's totally about patriarchal oppression, and the authors condone violent rape of women. That's the message.
posted by IAmBroom at 4:48 PM on May 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


Only outside the 5 boroughs: none of the complainers in-thread seem to actually be from NYC.

I'm a native New Yorker. Lived here on 9/11 and still do.

I found the image unpleasant. It bothered me. I don't think the site or that image is funny.

Whether you agree or disagree with me, I have a right to voice my opinion.
posted by zarq at 5:16 PM on May 10, 2011


Meh. Not even the crossword really amuses. "CBS Taps Berlusconi for Two and a Half Men" is sort of a chuckle...
posted by Mngo at 5:37 PM on May 10, 2011


I can't laugh at anything that involves people, it is just too cruel. Humanity is already a tragic species afflicted by an incurable loneliness and a crushingly finite existence. Do we need to laugh at them when they are already so damaged? In all likelihood they will be extinct in a few hundred years, so let us leave them with some dignity intact. Sure, others might still laugh at these humans, but I won't. I understand that there are just some things which are too serious to make light of. I sympathize with their plight, and I'm sure if I were a human I wouldn't want to be made fun of. It is already bad enough that they make fun of each other, so why should we add to it?
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:58 PM on May 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


aT NITE THE DICKDOGS COME
posted by Sebmojo at 6:11 PM on May 10, 2011


You guys could get into a fight in a telephone box.
posted by joannemullen at 6:14 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Meetup:
Where? telephone booth on 5th and Roosevelt
When? tonight after closing
Who? Come all fit and scrappy. Bring your own fightin' water. Paper bags will be supplied.

Winner takes all favorites.
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:27 PM on May 10, 2011


The first rule of Telephone Booth Fight Club is... you can't be fat.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 6:41 PM on May 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


The second rule of Telephone Booth Fight Club is...bring quarters.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:58 PM on May 10, 2011


Meh. Powers Booth always wins.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:59 PM on May 10, 2011


not that this isn't great, but I don't think Tony Hendra can ever top Deteriorata, which is arguably my favorite piece of writing ever ever ever.
posted by namewithoutwords at 7:14 PM on May 10, 2011


joannemullen: “You guys could get into a fight in a telephone box.”

If we were all trapped together in a phone booth with a small-minded "comedy" web site that looked like it was designed in 1998, probably, yeah.
posted by koeselitz at 7:19 PM on May 10, 2011


Confessions of a (Sort Of) Advertising Man
By ELLIOT STEWART The breakfast hour

I write not only to lament the death of the world’s most prominent newspaper, but also to lament the end of free breakfasts at prominent midtown boutique hotels.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:59 PM on May 10, 2011


“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mr. F,” Fahd tells me, as he scans the horizon for drug dealers in the favelas of Sao Paulo and metallurgists in Shanghai, who at this moment are staying up late to do their homework and thus eat his lunch, though not literally. “And if you’re going to hang around here, you’re going to need to buy another sandwich. You’re scaring my customers.”

http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/friedman-my-world-is-flat-right-now.html this is genius
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:59 PM on May 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Apparently they're taking submissions.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:05 PM on May 10, 2011


He's had it in for the Times since they published that article about his daughter, hasn't he?
posted by modernserf at 6:19 AM on May 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/friedman-my-world-is-flat-right-now.html this is genius

I also chuckled.

While American kids are busy on Facebook, Fahd is facing the bookkeeping.

...

He's had it in for the Times since they published that article about his daughter, hasn't he?

Yikers!
posted by mrgrimm at 7:47 AM on May 11, 2011


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