US High School student challenges Rep. Michele Bachmann

May 14, 2011 9:08 AM

"I, Amy Myers, do hereby challenge Representative Michele Bachmann to a Public Forum Debate and/or Fact Test on The Constitution of the United States, United States History and United States Civics."
posted by Brandon Blatcher (42 comments total)

The problem here is that Ms. Amy Myers believes that Rep. Bachmann will be held to the debate rules as in high school debate. Much as high school basketball players get called on traveling while NBA players get roughly 6 steps, debates at the national political level are more like speeches and grandstanding than any exchange of points. You just know that Bachmann's answer to something with a discrete answer like, "Quote the second amendment" would result in something starting with, "I believe..."
posted by explosion at 9:14 AM on May 14, 2011 [10 favorites]

I would pay to see this
posted by Blasdelb at 9:17 AM on May 14, 2011 [8 favorites]

I'm not even sure Ms. Myers is looking for a formal debate. I think she's just wanting to stand up next to Bachmann on a stage with Alex Trebek or someone similar tossing them trivia questions. They wouldn't even have to be really that trivial in nature -- Bachmann has shown time and again that even the most basic facts aren't actually lodged in her brain.
posted by hippybear at 9:19 AM on May 14, 2011 [12 favorites]

This would be news if Bachmann actually accepted, but I'm sure every public figure gets a number of these "if only they'd come into my territory, I'd smoke 'em" requests a year.

I mean, I worked in policy for a local federal challenger in Canada (not incumbent) and we received no less than 11 debate requests for our riding alone, from legitimate people like the local chamber and news organizations to the christian heritage group who wanted to grill him for two hours on abortion and gay marriage...so I sincerely think this isn't the first, or last, request of this nature that Bachmann will receive before 2012.
posted by dflemingecon at 9:20 AM on May 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

The kids are alright.

I don't expect Bachmann to respond, let alone debate, but Myer's challege is exactly the sort of thing citizen's or god forbid, another politician's should be doing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:21 AM on May 14, 2011 [5 favorites]

I thought Bachman already declined the challenge?

But I, too would pay cash money dollars to see this. Just to watch Bachman's eyeballs drift aimlessly apart as she tries to use party talking points and inflammatory rhetoric to cover up for the fact that she's giving complete bullshit answers.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:23 AM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Bachmann couldn't win against Clever Hans, and I'm sure Ms. Meyers will go places in life.

That said, if some conservative high school student wanted to debate, say, Sen. Al Franken, I wouldn't begrudge Franken for declining, so I can't be properly annoyed at Bachmann for doing the same.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:27 AM on May 14, 2011 [17 favorites]

Note that Myers's letter was sent on a Friday; the takeaway here is that we now have a slightly expanded version of what there is to do on a Friday night in Cherry Hill.

1. Go to mall
2. Go to Bahama Breeze (in parking lot of mall)
3. Stare at patch of concrete
4. Challenge US representative to Constitutional debate
5. Stare at patch of grass adjacent to concrete
posted by Greg Nog at 9:27 AM on May 14, 2011 [42 favorites]

This whole thing is a nothing burger.

I wish it wasn't.
posted by dobbs at 9:34 AM on May 14, 2011

This gives me an idea.

For their primary debates each candidate must be a contestant on Jeff (You Might Be A Redneck) Foxworthy's television game show, "Election 2012: Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"
posted by ericb at 9:37 AM on May 14, 2011

Cross your fingers for the gift of hubris.
posted by klangklangston at 9:40 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I challenge Michele Bachmann to a rap battle.
posted by box at 9:40 AM on May 14, 2011 [20 favorites]

SNL on Michelle Bachmann (from the recent Tina Fey episode).
posted by ericb at 9:42 AM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

We had a lot of debates in our riding and the Conservative puppet-in-residence just didn't bother. It didn't matter at all; he was re-elected on a solid (FUCK YOU FPTP) minority.

The thing is: the people who vote for these dolts don't give a shit about intellectualism. They vote on ideologies. They do not want a candidate who can think. They want candidates who spout the party line verbatim. They especially favour candidates who can do so unflinchingly and without breaking a sweat when presented with fact-based arguments. And they love candidates who just don't give a shit what you say because they know they are right because they have received the wisdom from either God and/or the Elders.

Debates? HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:49 AM on May 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

Is Rep. Bokmann chicken?
posted by kernel_sander at 9:53 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

 ______ _____ _   _ _____  _____ _    _    _    _ ______ _____  
|  ____|_   _| \ | |_   _|/ ____| |  | |  | |  | |  ____|  __ \ 
| |__    | | |  \| | | | | (___ | |__| |  | |__| | |__  | |__) |
|  __|   | | | . ` | | |  \___ \|  __  |  |  __  |  __| |  _  / 
| |     _| |_| |\  |_| |_ ____) | |  | |  | |  | | |____| | \ \ 
|_|    |_____|_| \_|_____|_____/|_|  |_|  |_|  |_|______|_|  \_\
                                                                
                                                              

I would pay so much to see that.
posted by everichon at 9:57 AM on May 14, 2011 [21 favorites]

I am Bachmann.
posted by Mblue at 9:58 AM on May 14, 2011

I challenge Michele Bachmann to a salmon battle in Kitchen Stadium.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 10:04 AM on May 14, 2011 [16 favorites]

I hereby challenge Michele Bachmann to a not-being-Michele-Bachmann contest. I'm pretty sure I win either way.
posted by Errant at 10:11 AM on May 14, 2011

I challenge everybody to an everything contest all the time forever. Go!
posted by ND¢ at 10:17 AM on May 14, 2011 [9 favorites]

Thanks, Amy, but the Bachmann smackdown has already been delivered.

It'd be overkill.
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:25 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Mr. Bad Example ($), Errant(%), ND¢(/)
Ante.
posted by Mblue at 10:29 AM on May 14, 2011

mouth pieces at dawn
posted by clavdivs at 10:45 AM on May 14, 2011

Sen. Franken shouldn't spend too much time debating high schoolers.

But he would win a debate against almost any conservative, let alone a high schooler, and a couple such events could be a good format for educating an audience and defending his ideas.

Plus it would put pressure on the morons in Congress to expose themselves at similar events, which Franken should welcome since his political opposition has a disproportionate # of the morons.

tl;dr Bwok Bwok Bwok Bwokmann!!!
posted by airing nerdy laundry at 10:48 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I hereby challenge Michele Bachmann to go a single day without doing something self-aggrandizing. I'll win that bet.
posted by blucevalo at 10:56 AM on May 14, 2011

In Europe, Michele Bachmann is not nearly as famous as Sarah Palin.

Please that it stay that way.
posted by WalkingAround at 11:02 AM on May 14, 2011

Amy. Myers.

Like. A combination of Seth Myers. And Amy Poehler.

This should be good!
posted by The Giant Squid at 11:03 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

It would be a rare representative I think that would accept such a challenge. But I wish people would challenge our elected official's fallacies more often.

The thing that bugs me about Bachman and her ilk is that they are proud of their ignorance. They don't need the facts, because they have their beliefs, and it doesn't seem to occur to them that the two could be very different things.
posted by nasayre at 11:07 AM on May 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

I wish people would challenge our elected official's fallacies more often. The thing that bugs me about Bachman and her ilk is that they are proud of their ignorance. They don't need the facts, because they have their beliefs

I agree, but lest we forget how well this has been called out before.
posted by Beardman at 11:37 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Good golly I am sick of hearing about Michelle Bachmann. There is literally nothing about her that merits the constant chatter. There is nothing interesting about her. Saying stupid shit that doesn't even make any sense all the time is not interesting. She is not interesting as a politician. She narrowly clings to leadership over her gerrymandered, pseudo-urban district by virtue of spending a boatload of cash every election. She has zero shot at anything bigger that that.
posted by nanojath at 11:54 AM on May 14, 2011 [6 favorites]

One challenge you don't want to throw Bachmann's way - staring contest, first one to blink loses. Not just because she'd win, but that zombie stare would invade your soul.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 12:49 PM on May 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Oh, if only an un-affiliated supporter of Amy Myers was to make a mixed media version where Bachhman claims of what that 'God Damn'd piece of paper' says VS what was said. And one could then put that up on some kind of Internet series of tubes.
posted by rough ashlar at 2:09 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love that this young woman has done this, but I can't see any upside for Bachmann. If she wins she beat a high schooler. If she loses she gets trounced by a high schooler. Even in a tie she loses. Name one way that this could possibly go well? Only if both participants truly excelled could it maybe not have a downside. This would be a train wreck all the way around.

This really reminds me of a kid I knew in junior high (7th grade) who was so mad at this girl (she'd been making fun of him) that he challenged her to a fight and despite everyone telling him it was a bad idea, he decided to go through with it when she accepted. He ended up pulling her hair and and punching her in the face. He declared himself the victor afterward, but he was forever know as that kid that fought the girl. There are situations where the only way to not lose is to not play. The quiz/debate is one of these.

This said I am going to write Bachmann a letter egging her on. "I read on the internet you were afraid to debate a girl!"
posted by cjorgensen at 5:12 PM on May 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

She has zero shot at anything bigger that that.

OH GOD LET THIS BE TRUE.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 5:19 PM on May 14, 2011

Note that Myers's letter was sent on a Friday; the takeaway here is that we now have a slightly expanded version of what there is to do on a Friday night in Cherry Hill.

6. Chuckle at the article written about you that describes you as being from Cherry Valley, NJ (a place that doesn't exist), and then directly quotes you saying that you are from Cherry Hill.

7. Begin compiling a list of colleges that are not located in Camden County.
posted by schmod at 5:38 PM on May 14, 2011

easily deflected. Bachman agrees to debate the girl as soon as Obama debates her.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:54 PM on May 14, 2011

Are you kidding? Obama would completely walk over a high school student in a debate or trivia quiz. He'd never even do that to a kid like that anyway.

Oh, you mean Obama debating Bachmann? If she ends up fulfilling her dream and gets her party's nomination, that will come soon enough. And yet, still probably far too soon for how it would make Bachmann look the morning after.
posted by hippybear at 9:12 PM on May 14, 2011

She has zero shot at anything bigger that that.

If we had just one lonesome crazy Michelle Bachmann, it wouldn't really be much of a problem. But we have dozens in congress, hundreds in the non-"lame-stream" media, thousands in state and local goverment, and millions of these riled up vote casting idiots who are running this country off a cliff. Appeal to reason and intellect? Good luck with that. I am truly afraid for this country.
posted by Daddy-O at 9:17 PM on May 14, 2011

And yet, still probably far too soon for how it would make Bachmann look the morning after.

Palin-bots still loved her after her "debate" with Joe Biden, even though he made her look like the winking idiot she is.
posted by Mental Wimp at 5:13 AM on May 15, 2011

The problem with arguing debating with an idiot politician is that they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
posted by narwhal bacon at 7:55 PM on May 15, 2011

Why are we ever arguing about Bachmann? It's not like she can run for President or something, since I heard she was born in Canada.
posted by foldedfish at 7:18 AM on May 16, 2011

16-Year-Old Girl Who Challenged Bachmann To Debate Receiving Threats Of Violence, Rape.
posted by ericb at 1:40 PM on May 20, 2011