What It's Like To Get A Breast Reduction

May 18, 2011 12:29 PM

A young woman writes about her breast reduction.
posted by reenum (99 comments total)

It makes me sad to see how many times she uses the word "normal" to mean "not me."
posted by runningwithscissors at 12:36 PM on May 18, 2011 [12 favorites]

I'm surprised at how many side effects there were, like loss of nipple sensitivity.
posted by delmoi at 12:39 PM on May 18, 2011

The surgery hasn’t just changed the way I think about myself

Yeah, I really, really, really don't think this is true, based on everything else she said.
posted by Gator at 12:39 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

MetaFilter's got a crush on The Hairpin. Long may it flourish!
posted by hermitosis at 12:41 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

I know there's at least one Mefite who's had similar surgery.
posted by box at 12:43 PM on May 18, 2011

The surgery hasn’t just changed the way I think about myself

Yeah, I really, really, really don't think this is true, based on everything else she said.

Uh what? First of all the rest of the quote

The surgery hasn’t just changed the way I think about myself; it has changed the way I interact with other people. I’ve grown a lot more confident in my appearance, and now I’m much more willing to be seen than I was before. I feel more attractive, and that in turn makes people think I am more attractive. Of course there’s still a difference between how self-assured I feel with and without clothes on.

Then there's this, from the article:

<sub>To me, the most fascinating product of the surgery is that it’s changed the way men react to me when I have my clothes on. Before, it was not uncommon for a man to stare blatantly at my large chest. When guys would approach me, in bars or at parties, most of them seemed to be operating on the assumption that I was a little bit of a slut. This was not, in fact, the case. I was a shy, fairly serious person who did not sleep with people lightly. And yet men I didn’t know regularly talked to me like I was eager to be their sexual plaything.

Then suddenly I had smaller breasts! When I’d walk around, men would still look at me, but they were no longer looking right at my breasts. I could feel them taking in the whole picture of me — my face, my body, my legs, and sometimes my breasts too. Almost overnight guys began treating me like a pretty girl instead of an easy girl. When they would talk to me, they would approach me like I was a normal person. They took me seriously. They would ask me questions about who I was, what I was interested in — a rare occurrence pre-surgery. I was shocked the first few times, but it kept happening. Friends of mine confirmed the difference so I knew I hadn’t imagined it, and I’ve since talked to other people who’ve had breast reductions and experienced the very same shift. Something to think about.</sub>

So two things, 1) She has more confidence, which changes the way she feels people respond and 2) it changed the way guys approach her. Are you saying she's lying?

The girl who played Punky Brewster had her boobs reduced and she said before she had it done casting directors would only want to cast her for 'slutty' roles, etc.
posted by delmoi at 12:44 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

MetaFilter's got a crush on The Hairpin.

It may have a crush on putting FP links to it, but Metafilter's soulmate is commenting about how wrong Hairpin articles are.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 12:46 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

So two things, 1) She has more confidence, which changes the way she feels people respond and 2) it changed the way guys approach her. Are you saying she's lying?

In response to #1: She doesn't seem to have more confidence or belief in her self, not just her value in the meat market. She just doesn't seem to like herself very much. And besides, she still belittles the way her breasts look.
posted by runningwithscissors at 12:48 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

I spent a week in high school shadowing a breast-specializing plastic surgeon. I saw dozens and dozens of breasts that week. I even stood in during a breast reduction surgery. I've been lucky to always have a super-positive body image and high self esteem, but that week was really good for me.

Having only been exposed in person at that time to the chests of my mom and myself, I didn't realize how many kinds of boobs there are. Big boobs. Tiny boobs. Wonky boobs. Droopy boobs. Perky boobs. Fat boobs. Skinny boobs. So many different kinds of boobs. There is no "normal" set of boobs (even post-surgery, from what I saw).

Take that general principle, and extend it beyond breasts. There is no "normal" butt. There is no "normal" set of thighs. There is no "normal" face. There is no "normal" physical type. There is no "normal" personality type. Everyone is different, and that's just fine.

And I got to learn this lesson through boobs. Everyone likes boobs!
posted by phunniemee at 12:48 PM on May 18, 2011 [22 favorites]

That was considerably less horrifying than I thought it would be. Interesting to read a "positive" story about plastic surgery.
posted by fartknocker at 12:50 PM on May 18, 2011

The hate in this thread is just ridiculous. I don't get it. If people say you should "love yourself the way you are" doesn't that include post-OP? What's wrong with being happy about the way you look after surgery?

In response to #1: She doesn't seem to have more confidence or belief in her self, not just her value in the meat market.

First of all, it's pretty clear that her "value on the meat market" actually went down in terms of how guys interacted with her. Secondly she also seems happy about the fact that she doesn't have to wear bras that dig into her shoulder and all the rest of the problems.

Really, it's like you're bitter about the fact that she's happy about how she looks. So what? Your appearance is part of your "self"
posted by delmoi at 12:52 PM on May 18, 2011 [9 favorites]

A friend of mine had that done when she was younger. She was very satisfied with the results.

Many people don't realize that oversize breasts really are painful, a strain on the back, and not just a "cosmetic" problem.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:53 PM on May 18, 2011 [10 favorites]

I had a friend and an ex who both had breast reductions. This article is eerily (and sensibly) similar to how they each described their experiences. And yeah, as St. Alia points out, there are plenty of legitimate medical reasons to get breasts reduced, even before you get into the issues of being treated as a ditz or a porn star or whatever just because you have the audacity to have DD-cups.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:55 PM on May 18, 2011

First of all, it's pretty clear that her "value on the meat market" actually went down in terms of how guys interacted with her.

That depends on how you define "value on the meat market."

I dunno. For ages, I said that I would get reductions just as soon as I could afford them. I think I could probably afford them now, and I'm no longer sure I want them. I truly, truly understand why women do want them, for reasons that are cosmetic, social, and physical. But I think that I, personally, have made my peace with my big boobs, which is not something that I think I would have imagined doing when I was in my early 20s.

Anyway, that was an interesting read. The post-op bigs were a little harrowing.
posted by craichead at 12:57 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Bits. Post-op bits. Not bigs.
posted by craichead at 12:57 PM on May 18, 2011

Speaking as someone who has considered the surgery herself, I wish I could say this girl's article made me think, "Perhaps I should get it done, after all." Instead it's made me think, "She put way too much of her self-worth into her breasts. She got it done but she still thinks they're not 'normal' enough. I find that worrisome."

It's a perfect solution but ever since I lost twenty pounds, mine don't bother me as much. I still think about reduction surgery but going under the knife makes me nervous.

I wish the author of this article the best, but I'm thinking she's got more self-esteem issues she hasn't resolved yet.
posted by Kitteh at 12:57 PM on May 18, 2011 [4 favorites]

Um, amend the second part of my paragraph to say "It's NOT a perfect solution." Sorry.
posted by Kitteh at 12:59 PM on May 18, 2011

Can we stop saying 'meat market'?
posted by shakespeherian at 12:59 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

Reading AskMes from women with large breasts asking for help finding clothes and bras and bathing suits and everything has definitely helped me appreciate how much of a hassle they can be. Shopping for clothes pretty much sucks for everyone, but I'm so glad I can get away with ten dollar Target bras rather than investing in eighty dollar architectural masterpieces. Add in dealing with staring assholes and achy shoulders and people telling you you're "blessed" and yeah, I wouldn't judge anyone for deciding a breast reduction is right for them.
posted by MadamM at 1:00 PM on May 18, 2011 [8 favorites]

Yeah, doesn't she have the right to do what she wants with her body without criticism from people? It sounds like she has a realistic appraisal of her own body, and her health and wellbeing played as much of a part in her decision as what she thought her body looks like. Women will be judged on their bodies no matter what they do or don't do to them and metafilter is no different. I think it's a brave story about a rare topic.
posted by fuq at 1:02 PM on May 18, 2011 [4 favorites]

She just doesn't seem to like herself very much.

There's a pretty huge gap between "not liking yourself," and having a less-than-perfect body image. We're human, and sometimes we're not satisfied with the way that we look. Although I don't think that there should be any pressure to look a certain way, but I also don't think it's okay to assume that every person be 100% happy with their own body image. It's an unreasonable and impossible expectation.

Similarly, I'd argue (in this particular instance) that having large breasts could be a legitimate health problem for certain women. I know of one or two people who are planning to have the surgery based off of back pain, and difficulty running/exercising.

I'm sure that a child with a cleft palate would feel 100x better about him/herself after having surgery to have it "fixed," and society generally seems very much okay with this procedure, even though it's functionally cosmetic. However, once we shift the discussion to breasts or weight, we view any sort of modification as morally reprehensible. That's pretty fucked up.

If you had a huge (but benign) tumor hanging off of you that affected your balance, and caused others to stare, wouldn't you get it cut off?

Sadly, plastic surgery is one of those issues where we let the most egregious 5% of cases define the entire debate, despite the fact that the remaining 95% of cases are perfectly reasonable.

Before, it was not uncommon for a man to stare blatantly at my large chest.

And now for an even less comfortable issue....I think this very well might be biological. I know of more than a few honest-to-god, gold-star gay guys who are absolutely entranced by large-chested women. It's a completely non-sexual thing for them, but damnit, they can't seem to keep their eyes away. (If anybody wants to do some clinical research here, I'm sure there'll be an Ig Nobel waiting for you at the end.)
posted by schmod at 1:04 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

I had the hardest time convincing a specialty bra shop that I had to return one of the bras I was "professionally fitted" for because it was so tight one of my arms started to tingle. The patronizing tone of "Well, it's supposed to be like that. You'll get used to it" pissed me off. Despite having made peace (for the most part) with my boobs, I do envy the ladies who get to go into Target and get the pretty cute bras for cheap.
posted by Kitteh at 1:04 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

Also, I really appreciate the tone of the article. I think she's being honest, and yeah maybe she isn't a paragon for not caring about how you look, but is anyone? I love that The Hairpin tends to let people tell stories like this about sensitive topics and be themselves, flaws and all. See: the article they published about a woman who worked in abortion clinic, when IIRC some Mefites also took exception to her tone.
posted by MadamM at 1:05 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I really, really, really don't think this is true, based on everything else she said.

Agreed.

I know there's at least one Mefite who's had similar surgery.

Mefites are like 10,000 active, and 60k in reserves...im guessing there are a whole hell of a lot of mefites who went through that procedure. Its just that not everyone thinks their personal medical history is up for discussion on the internets.
posted by hal_c_on at 1:05 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

It seems to me that it is hard to read this article without an overwhelming waterfall of conflicting feelings about body image and gender politics. The article strikes me as very open and honest, and I'm glad it is there.

I'm doing my best not to indulge in analysis of the author. I think her willingness to write about this shows more strength of character than any of the problems folks have with her body image.

I have a feeling that I could write at length about a more minor surgery I'm hoping to schedule soon (a vasectomy) without triggering so much, but I don't know. Balls are far stranger than boobs, and people get all wrapped up in them, too. (insert joke here)

I hope medical technology makes this kind of thing unnecessary soon. I assume it'll happen right after prehensile tails go out of fashion.
posted by poe at 1:05 PM on May 18, 2011

<sub>Women will be judged on their bodies no matter what they do or don't do to them and metafilter is no different.

Minor derail here, but if you think that plastic surgery is socially stigmatized for women, it's still 10x worse for men. We're supposed to be fat slobs or musclebound hunks, but nothing in between, and cursed to damnation if we even give the impression of giving a damn about our appearances.</sub>
posted by schmod at 1:06 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

Everyone is jumping all over themselves to pull someone down for not being on-message. Unfortunately, there are lots of different messages and agendas out there to adhere to. I guess what's the point of sharing any sort of personal experience like this, unless it goes something like:

"I was perfectly fine with my breasts the way they were -- but due to a life-threatening genetic health problem, I decided (all by myself) to have them reduced. To the extent that they were made aware of my decision and their opinion was solicited, people offered the correct amounts of concern approval. After the operation, I was perfectly fine with my new breasts the way they were."
posted by hermitosis at 1:07 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

Cosmetic surgery is a issue I don't know how to feel about. I found this documentary from Louis Theroux kind of interesting, although it focused in on people who should probably be diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder and in therapy. It's on Google Video (which is now on borrowed time until they move everything to youtube), so if you're reading this after it's been shut down, google it.

In this case, she seems to have made a rational decision to change something that was causing her problems (IE the wrong kind of attention and assumptions from men, as well as pe) rather than trying to "fix" something she only imagines other people care about. And it was messing with her posture, and maybe she was having comfort issues as St. Alia suggested.
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:11 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

I have known a number of women who were made miserable just by the sheer weight of their breasts. My first serious girlfriend was a very small lass with what I am told would be a rather large endowment even on an average frame. Her bra basically left dents in her poor shoulders.

I have yet to hear from a woman who has had a reduction surgery who was not pleased with the results.
posted by adipocere at 1:19 PM on May 18, 2011

Friend of mine had this done in college, because her boobs were so big she was only comfortable wearing two or three layered sports bras, or these insane specialty bras that she had to order from France. Her doctor took them down as small as he felt was safe for her to probably still be able to breast feed, and she was still a borderline D.

This was an improvement.

I have another friend who has breasts at least as large as my college friend, but because her insurance sucks, they're fighting her every step of the way toward a reduction. It's ridiculous.

It's this girl's body, and if having reduction makes her feel healthier and live a more full life, then that's her business.
posted by Medieval Maven at 1:19 PM on May 18, 2011

Anyone here know if the resulting scarring has lessened in the twelve years between her surgery and todays available technology? Is it close to the same healing time? Better chances of being able to breast-feed?
posted by dancestoblue at 1:24 PM on May 18, 2011

The hate in this thread is just ridiculous.

I think characterizing skepticism as "hate" is a bad way to approach interactions on MetaFilter.
posted by aught at 1:26 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

If you had a huge (but benign) tumor hanging off of you that affected your balance, and caused others to stare, wouldn't you get it cut off?

Eh. I'm in favor of women who want reductions getting reductions, and I agree that there's a lot of fucked up stigma surrounding plastic surgery in general. But my big breasts are not huge benign tumors. It'd be nice if people could find a way to acknowledge the legitimacy of women's choices without inadvertantly depicting our bodies as grotesque.
posted by craichead at 1:35 PM on May 18, 2011 [10 favorites]

I had a breast reduction in 1999. It was one of the most positive things I have ever done for my body - and that's saying a lot. I have no more back pain. I don't feel like I want to hide all the time.

Yeah, if you read a lot of my posts on the green, you'll see that I also have an eating disorder and was a survivor of sexual assault. Gotta tell you, the breasts I had made everything more difficult. The breasts I have now haven't, by any stretch of the imagination, made everything perfect, but it has, in fact, helped how I feel about my body and how my body feels. If you want to pathologize all of that any more than that, feel free. It's not like I haven't already.

For those interested, I scar VERY lightly, so my scarring is extremely minimal. You'd almost never know unless you got a very close look, and very few people are getting that close.
posted by Sophie1 at 1:36 PM on May 18, 2011 [18 favorites]

I have had breast reduction surgery, and this account read basically true to me.

At the end, where she writes about still having issues with the way they look, that came across to me as how one now on occasion needs to decipher new bra styles and what works fashionwise, as opposed to before where it was more of an everyday thing to be resigned to being uncomfortable and the wearing the wrong size clothes. (Imagine pre-internet rural Kansas shopping options for a teen. Even later on it was nearly impossible.)

I imagine easy to come across as more obsessed with your breasts than you generally would be today once you start writing about what led to surgery a decade ago. Or reading about someone else's surgery -- I never noticed any side effects, and I haven't really thought about my scars in a long while; what hasn't faded to nothing I've gotten so used to as to not really see them.
posted by rewil at 1:38 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm a DUDE that had a 'breast' reduction - and like the woman in the story I lost most of the sensation in my nipples, had my chest fill with weird fluids that had to be drained, I have scars on my nipples, etc. I used to be VERY private about it, but now I don't give a shit. I wrote about it here (not self-promo, just too long of a story really to paste here).
posted by Lutoslawski at 1:41 PM on May 18, 2011 [20 favorites]

My sister had breast reduction in college, and it changed her life. She said she felt like she could finally stand up straight for the first time in several years -- first, because the sheer weight of her chest was no longer screwing up her posture and causing back pain, and second, because she was no longer self-conscious that people would be staring at her chest in public rather than look her in the eyes.

She has faint scars, loss of sensitivity, and had trouble breastfeeding her kids, and she still says she'd do it all over again in an instant.
posted by scody at 1:50 PM on May 18, 2011

If I've learned anything in the last year, it's that people's life experiences and stories are more often ambiguous than not. Very rarely can one resolve that ambiguity in a way that doesn't leave somebody unfairly judged or hurt at the end. Better instead to do all you can to experience the ambiguity (hell, revel in the ambiguity) as an exercise in building empathy. The subject of the OP made a decision with its fingers in all sorts of practical, physical, psychological and ideological jars that had both positives and negatives. I don't know whether it was the right decision by those metrics or not and, even if I wanted to form an opinion, it wouldn't matter much. I do appreciate the opportunity, however, to build marginally more empathy.
posted by Apropos of Something at 1:56 PM on May 18, 2011 [6 favorites]

My cousin, a sporty lass from my fathers side of the family where all ladies seem to have received an extra helping of chest-girth, had hers reduced when she was still quite young. Over here such an op is actually paid for by the healthcare system if you're a good candidate for "future backproblems" as a preventative measure. They had her diet for some time to meet some sort of BMI/weight criteria which was kind of silly as she was hippy but pure muscle really, and once the doctors were satisfied there was nothing she could do (as in lose weight) to change their girth they scheduled her surgery.

I met her three months later, had forgotten about it and blurted out "Did you get taller or something?" I hadn't seen her walk so tall and straight since she was a kid. It did wonders for her.
posted by dabitch at 2:13 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

I would totally do this. At least, I think I would. I'm really sick of my breasts. At 36dd, it's hard to find clothes that fit. Larges make me look dumpy all over, and mediums pull at the buttons. Even tshirts tend to be Boobs Galore or Frumpy Mom. Take your pick, glamourpuss.

I have to wear two bras to run, and swimsuits are a hell journey of grandma suits or boob spillage. I can wear only a few types of regular bras, and would kill to be able to wear those nice little lacey bras. Tank tops look pornographic.

These are just practical concerns. My body image, like most women's, I guess, is 'it's okay'. As physical problems go, it doesn't even merit a score, but it's a pain nonetheless and I could relate to what she wrote.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:15 PM on May 18, 2011

Ooh ooh ooh ooh!! Something I actually know about!

I had a breast reduction in 2006, when I was 21. I was 5'2" (still am) 115 lbs (couple pounds lighter now) and I was falling out of my 34DDD bras (B or C now, depending on the bra). Insurance covered everything. So. Worth. It.

I took lots of pictures and posted about it on a message board I frequented. I was absolutely fascinated with the healing process (maxi pads in my bra? It's more likely than you think!). One of these days I'll get my act together and blog about it. My scars faded a lot, even though I did absolutely nothing to reduce the appearance of scarring. I miss them. I lost sensation - especially around where my drains were - but I find it amusing. Sometimes the inside of my boob itches.

Sometimes I see women who are clearly lugging around more than what could possibly comfortable and it makes me very sad. I wish I could be a breast reduction fairy, handing out self esteem, poofing big ugly bras into little colorful lacy numbers, and saving women from getting hit by their own boobs when they exercise.
posted by giraffe at 2:17 PM on May 18, 2011 [17 favorites]

Another breast reductee chiming in. I had one nearly two years ago and I had a much easier time of it than she did. No drains, no stitches, they kicked me out of the surgery center before I had even woken up completely, and within two hours I was eating Chipotle. Pain wasn't too bad - I gave up on the vicodin pretty quickly.

But really? Even if it had been the worst pain of my life I'd still consider it one of the best things I have ever done for myself and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I love my B cups.
posted by elsietheeel at 2:18 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh and I have had minimal scarring and no loss of nipple sensation.

But I TOTALLY get that itchy thing that giraffe mentioned. It's infuriating because it's the kind of itch that scratching doesn't fix.
posted by elsietheeel at 2:19 PM on May 18, 2011

I've been seen for a preop consult twice for a breast reduction. Unfortunately, by this point I'm probably too late for it to make a difference the way I'd like. I'm 31, and I've gained a bit of weight in the past few years, so if my chest size were any smaller I'd look totally pregnant. And that's the problem: I would likely get pregnant in a few years, so why would I do it BEFORE having kids? If I lost any weight, they'd point straight down, and I'd be even worse.

That said, I consider it completely separate from anything cosmetic. Everybody I've spoken with says it's an absolute lifesaver and they'd do it again in a heartbeat. So I'm basically sitting here thinking, "Huh -- is my back pain really from this? Should I do it anyway? Should I postpone my wedding, or take pictures after I get it done?" So many options; so few choices.

For reference, I'm a large-framed 5'7" with a 38GG/J bustline -- that's around 50". I don't look particularly unusual, but I'm built like a linebacker and basically can't wear anything but t-shirts, so I dress down even at the office. I hate shopping for clothing and want to slap both manufacturers and the heads of most department stores. I can only buy bras at specialty stores that either design their own or sell things like mastectomy supplies.

I was a C cup at age 10 or 11, and when we went shopping for swimsuits my mom would always make me do a sexy pose to check for an overabundance of cleavage (read: any cleavage, which was always present) "because that's what boys like. Just ask your father; he knows!" If it were up to her, I'd wear nothing but burlap sacks.

No, that wasn't humiliating at all.
posted by Madamina at 2:20 PM on May 18, 2011

The surgery hasn’t just changed the way I think about myself

I think people are misreading this. She's not saying it hasn't changed how she thinks about herself. She's saying it's changed MORE THAN how she thinks about herself.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 2:25 PM on May 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

I didn't read all the comments in the original story, but it looked like a lot of people signed up at The Hairpin for the first time in order to comment positively or relate their own experiences. I think that's good sign of having reached people.
posted by Glinn at 2:27 PM on May 18, 2011

*a good sign.
posted by Glinn at 2:28 PM on May 18, 2011

Again, I haven't completely put it off--my mom had hers done when I was in college; she was topping out at a EE and it was obvious it was hurting her--I remain undecided. Yes, I have some light scars on my shoulders from years of bad bras, but as I said, getting healthier has made me think if I could live without the surgery. I guess only time will tell. I ain't getting any younger and these suckers aren't getting any smaller on their own.
posted by Kitteh at 2:43 PM on May 18, 2011

I was sad when both she and the doctor talked about perky breasts being "normal". It took me years -- and the Normal breasts gallery (NSFW) to learn that I wasn't deformed, that downturned breasts are just as normal as up turned.

I also found it interesting that men had come on to her when she had DD breasts. I never have had that problem, likely due to years of Ill-fitting sports bras and general nerditude. Or perhaps it's really that the experience is about proportion - a DD who is also a size 16 isn't going to look anything like a DD who is a size 6.
posted by jb at 3:03 PM on May 18, 2011 [4 favorites]

oh - for anyone who is about 34-DD or 36-E, you can get great-looking and supportive swimsuits by shopping at sports/athletics wear places for the kind of suit that female racers wear - high neck being the key. I need lots of support normally (34-DD, little natural support), but I have just a plain speedo one-piece I bought at a sports shop and I adore it - it supports well with no internal bra. My uncle was a swim coach for years - he introduced me to racer suits (high neck which cuts down on drag, but still a very flattering cut).
posted by jb at 3:17 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm sure that a child with a cleft palate would feel 100x better about him/herself after having surgery to have it "fixed," and society generally seems very much okay with this procedure, even though it's functionally cosmetic.

This is not true; cleft palates interfere with eating, breathing, speaking and the normal development of teeth. Repairing them can be very complex and we have a whole team at our hospital that works with them; it includes plastic surgeons, ENT docs, geneticists, orthodontists, speech pathologists, and social workers.

We also do a fair number of breast reductions on both young women and men; as someone mentioned upthread, breast development can occur in adolescent boys and as you can imagine, it can make things awkward in the locker room, among other problems. Fortunately our surgeons are good at working with insurance companies, so these procedures are generally covered by insurance for both genders. I have seen plenty of them in the OR so it is interesting to hear about it from the patients' perspective, both in the original post and in the thread. The women I know who've had it done seem to agree with the general consensus that it was well worth it.
posted by TedW at 3:23 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

Chauvinist comment: This [breast reduction surgery] is why we can't have nice things.

Feminist comment: This [the above chauvinist comment] is why we can't have nice things.
posted by Eideteker at 3:28 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

That was an interesting article. I've known a few women who have had that surgery, but didn't know them well enough to ask about the healing process and scarring.
posted by Forktine at 3:31 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wait, who said we can't have nice things?
posted by craichead at 3:31 PM on May 18, 2011

Wait, who said we can't have nice things?

We can't "have" her breasts to perv at because she had the selfishness to have them reduced, of course. Keep on keeping it classy, metafilter!
posted by Forktine at 3:37 PM on May 18, 2011

I've never hated my breasts (36dd), but they've sure been a burden at times. Lately, though, I've come to accept that they are *my* burden, too much a part of me and who I am to ever think of changing them.
posted by hopeless romantique at 3:47 PM on May 18, 2011

Very interesting article. I've been thinking about the procedure for years. I have size F breasts (which I tried to fit into DD bras for years). I still can't find any bras that really fit and when I do they will be very expensive. I also love to sing, and the size of my breasts makes maintaining good posture very painful (not just uncomfortable). Sometimes when the back pain starts up I have to hold my breasts up for some relief.

All of that said, I really like this part of my body and I am very wary about surgically altering them. Like the writer, I remember being a young girl and wishing my breasts would grow (I did the "I must, I must, I must increase my bust" exercise), and when I got them I was happy. It was the first time I embraced any part of my body.
posted by Danila at 3:56 PM on May 18, 2011

for cheap(er) large size bras, I've liked Figleaves.com. the prices still range $50-150, but they have decent $50 bras in large sizes, and sales which go as low as $20. Also, a good return policy, so you can try them on.
posted by jb at 4:08 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

For everyone of non-standard size I highly suggest

1) Finding a few bras that fit you (by being sized at a store)
2) Head to eBay and search for them (Very easy! Search for the exact model number.)
3) Set up an eBay alert for a price you're okay with

I have found nice bras in my size (36 H) for $20-30. It is awesome.
posted by the young rope-rider at 4:09 PM on May 18, 2011 [5 favorites]

I waited until I was done breastfeeding to have reduction surgery, and if I had known what a difference it was going to make in my daily pain level, I'd have done it as soon as I could and bottle-fed if I'd had to. My nipples weren't repositioned (my mother's were, removed and then replaced) and I have good sensation. The surgeon said that my milk ducts were undamaged and that I could probably go ahead to nurse another baby, but I have no plan to test that hypothesis.
posted by not that girl at 4:11 PM on May 18, 2011

I would dearly love to have mine reduced. I do not even know what size they are any more, what with the fluctuations caused by two pregnancies and then nursing the resulting two kids. I have been wearing nursing bras and nursing tank tops for the last 4 years, and the sizes for those don't exactly correlate with the standard A, B, C, etc. If I had to guess, I would say they are somewhere in the G-H range. I am built much like Madamina: 5'8", broad shoulders, broad hips, just solid. My 52" bust isn't terribly ill-proportioned, even though I am carrying about 40lbs of extra weight (how much of that 40 lbs is my boobs, I can only guess) .

I have shoulder dents from bra straps -- these don't go away, even when I am not wearing a bra. I have chronic back and neck pain. I have trouble exercising because the bouncing is painful! I have hunching posture because they are just so damned heavy. When I am not wearing a bra, they sag down to my bellybutton. I pretty much would hate them unequivocally, if they didn't serve the purpose of feeding my babies. Not wanting to jeopardize my chances of breastfeeding my children is the major reason why I didn't have them reduced way earlier in my adult life. However, with two kids, we are done, so once my 5 month old (who is nursing even as I type this) is weaned, I am totally getting them chopped and not looking back.
posted by fancyoats at 4:16 PM on May 18, 2011

I knew a woman who had this done in college, and I'm sorry to say that there are a number of guys I no longer speak to as a consequence of their reaction to it.

...because, y'know, breasts are for them to "appreciate" and nothing else.

Seriously. Fuckers. Every single one of them.
posted by aramaic at 4:24 PM on May 18, 2011 [11 favorites]

I know there's at least one Mefite who's had similar surgery.

I'm another, and so is my god mother who is also a member here. We both had ours done when we were teenagers, me in the 90s, and my god mom in the 70s. Neither of us has scarring, but we're both as pale as can be and apparently that means we don't scar as much as others, and while we both had nipple sensation loss it was only temporary. All sensation returned to normal within the year of surgery. No draining of post op fluid build up needed either. It's one of the best things I've ever done for myself, I have felt light and free and more confident ever since. Being 5'2", 109lbs, and having HUGE boobs was a horrible experience, mostly due to strange men. I never had back pain, but I was generally treated like a dumb slut, and regularly groped on the crowded TTC on the way home from school. Grown ass men in suits, with their Bay St. briefcases thought absolutely nothing of grabbing my 14 year old boobs, usually when they were departing at their stop, so they could assault & run. Leaving me humiliated in front of all the other passengers. God. So, so glad to be rid of those huge tits. Also insanely happy to fit into clothing properly & without any extra hassle of tailoring of pieces that aren't mix & match.
posted by zarah at 5:07 PM on May 18, 2011 [3 favorites]

(actually I had my surgery in 2001, but it still felt like the 90s I guess, lol)
posted by zarah at 5:11 PM on May 18, 2011

I had this done last summer. I had hemmed and hawed for a long time because it seemed like a pretty drastic measure for something non-life-threatening. Best decision EVER. I could feel the difference immediately — there is way less strain on my neck and shoulders and back. The procedure she describes was different from mine; my incisions follow this vertical pattern instead and I didn't need drains. You can read all about the vertical scar reduction procedure in this journal article [warning: PDF, graphic operation photos].

Recovery was quick and pain was minimal. They gave me Percocet for the pain, but I didn't need it at all. I just felt sore for about a month. I was told to use silicone bandages to help with the scarring. Near the nipples they're more prominent, but the ones that go down under the nipple are quite faint. I do have decreased sensitivity in the nipples, but it's almost back to normal now. I am super happy with the end result. Shoulda done this years ago.

Also, brastop.com is a great place to shop for D-K cup bras that don't look like armor for not so much money — like £10 when on sale.
posted by emeiji at 5:40 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Grown ass men in suits, with their Bay St. briefcases thought absolutely nothing of grabbing my 14 year old boobs, usually when they were departing at their stop, so they could assault & run. Leaving me humiliated in front of all the other passengers.

God, this makes me so, so, so furious. I'm sorry you ever had to endure that, zarah.
posted by scody at 5:42 PM on May 18, 2011 [6 favorites]

Had breast reduction surgery in the summer of 1987, between high school and college. If you put me back there, I'd do it again without blinking an eye.

I am 5'1 1/2". My 36 DDD (or F, as they now call it) breasts made me look enormous, though I wasn't. There were no shirts or sweaters that fit; if they fit my arms and waist, they'd stretch across my breasts, giving me the uni-boob look--and forget about button-downs. If the shirt fit elsewhere, the buttons across my breasts would pop off. If they fit across my breasts, I looked like I was wearing a nightshirt from the 1800s.

I was mocked in school for not being athletic, but no one knew it was because of the agony any kind of physical activity caused me. Imagine that you have two ten-pound weights embedded under your skin in your chest. Now imagine jumping or running. Every time you land on the ground, those weights are thrown hard towards the ground--nerves screaming at you to stop. Imagine having to hold your breasts up when you walk down the stairs without a bra on, because they hurt so much. Imagine permanently curved scapulae bent from years of trying to hold those weights up. Imagine being a teenage girl who got groped in the hallways in high school because her breasts were so big that boys could grab them on their way past in the other direction and you wouldn't even know which one did it because they'd be behind you among all the other students before you realized anything had happened. Imagine having to wear the ugliest bras available when you are young and looking for attractive clothing. Imagine having to miss school during your period because of what most women call "tenderness" in their breasts during menstruation being agony for you. Imagine never wanting to stand up straight. Imagine never being able to lie down on your front because it *hurts*.

Now imagine being able to be rid of all that. You think it doesn't change more than just how you think about yourself? Get bent.

They took *ten pounds* of fatty tissue out of me in 1987, and all of it was hanging off of my upper body, causing me nothing but anguish in every aspect of my life.

I'm a 34 C now. Beautiful shirts and sweaters fit me. Beautiful bras fit me. Swimsuits fit me. Yeah, sometimes I get those itches mentioned above that are so weird, because scratching doesn't relieve them (very minor nerve displacement), and yeah, I have scars and a little loss of sensitivity.

So what.

Those of you who are considering it, but are concerned about that loss of sensitivity (or being able to breastfeed) - the field of breast reduction has improved significantly since I had mine. I know women who have had reductions in the last few years who have then breastfed and say they have not lost any sensitivity. Do a little research, but I say go for it. I don't know a single patient who has ever regretted it.
posted by tzikeh at 6:04 PM on May 18, 2011 [17 favorites]

Know two women who had breast reduction surgery and are happy they did it.

But the reasons were nobody's business but their own.
posted by bwg at 6:22 PM on May 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Summary in one:

"Of course I still have issues with the way my breasts look"

You care more than anyone you will ever encounter. If they hurt you, get 'em fixed. If you think any other size, from going up to a "B" or down to a D, will make you more attractive, save yourself the effort and just grow some confidence.
posted by pla at 6:28 PM on May 18, 2011

pla: If you think any other size, from going up to a "B" or down to a D, will make you more attractive, save yourself the effort and just grow some confidence.

That's a staggeringly ignorant and cruel thing to say.
posted by tzikeh at 8:11 PM on May 18, 2011 [22 favorites]

You care more than anyone you will ever encounter.

Of course I do. It's my body, and I live my entire life in it. Of course I have more invested in it than other people do. That's only an argument against getting reductions, though, if you think of me solely as an object, if you think my relationship with my own body is secondary to other people's views about whether my body is acceptable. If you think of women as being fully human, rather than as existing for other people's viewing pleasure, then the fact that I care more than other people is kind of irrelevant to this discussion.
posted by craichead at 8:20 PM on May 18, 2011 [10 favorites]

Anyone can do anything they want with their bodies, but I’m not a fan of making such life changing, irreversible decisions when you’re that young.

That said, I see very few comments of regret.
posted by bongo_x at 1:14 AM on May 19, 2011

just grow some confidence

Thanks for the best laugh I've had today. Although I'm not a female with, ah, breasts and such. And neither are you. Because it shows.
posted by Wolof at 2:07 AM on May 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Wow, thanks all for sharing. I never considered it an option due to the breastfeeding thing, and it's encouraging to read that for some it works anyway now that surgery options have found new clever ways of doing this. (Nursing was the only time in my life I loved my boobs. They made food! They were awesome!)
posted by dabitch at 2:24 AM on May 19, 2011

tzikeh : That's a staggeringly ignorant and cruel thing to say.

craichead : If you think of women as being fully human, rather than as existing for other people's viewing pleasure, then the fact that I care more than other people is kind of irrelevant to this discussion.

What??? Okay, two (at least) people read that exactly the opposite of how I meant it. How does it count as ignorant, cruel, objectifying, to say that confidence matters more than physical appearance?

I mean, okay, I won't go so far as to say that appearance doesn't matter at all, but seriously, most guys would rather have a partner who doesn't constantly fret about her (or his) hair/eyes/ass/nose/breasts/leftbigtoe/whatever. You have what you have, and unless that falls way outside the norm, it matters less than what you have inside (which I don't mean as an anatomical double-entendre).

I very much do think of women as "fully human" - Which means accepting that we all have flaws, both physical and mental. I would say that someone taking a knife to those flaws for vanity reasons (medical need, no problem) denies their own humanity far more than the worst lech you'll ever meet in a bar at last call.
posted by pla at 3:40 AM on May 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

How does it count as ignorant, cruel, objectifying, to say that confidence matters more than physical appearance?

One, that's not what you said, and two, you can't possibly know what other people feel--especially not what women feel. You've never had to live as a woman, so frankly, you can shut up about what it takes to have self-confidence in this world as a woman.

I won't go so far as to say that appearance doesn't matter at all, but seriously, most guys would rather have a partner who doesn't constantly fret about her (or his) hair/eyes/ass/nose/breasts/leftbigtoe/whatever.

Aaaaaand, shockingly, the usual bullshit makes its appearance--breast reduction isn't about women at all! It's about what men want! It's about what you want! There's a big surprise! I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die of not surprise!
posted by tzikeh at 3:51 AM on May 19, 2011 [11 favorites]

Clicked too quickly --

Since you're so concerned about *my* self-confidence: guess what gave me more self-confidence in four-to-six weeks than I had had in the previous ten years.

You get three guesses, and the first two don't count.
posted by tzikeh at 3:57 AM on May 19, 2011

Okay. Whatever. I took a single quote from TFA that pretty much makes my point a slam-dunk, and said as much. Post-surgery, she still has issues - Perhaps the breasts didn't cause them, hmm?

If you want to believe that deviation-from-D inversely defines a woman's value (or that I in any way implied that in my first post to this thread), have fun without me. I won't play this "delicately phrase everything to avoid stepping on 100 different people's neuroses" game.
posted by pla at 4:11 AM on May 19, 2011

I mean, okay, I won't go so far as to say that appearance doesn't matter at all, but seriously, most guys would rather have a partner who doesn't constantly fret about her (or his) hair/eyes/ass/nose/breasts/leftbigtoe/whatever.

You assumption, which is so ingrained that you don't recognize it even after you've been called on it, is that the only thing that could legitimately affect a woman's decision, aside from physical pain, is whether men approve of her. If men care about something, maybe we should do it. If they don't, then we shouldn't do it. If we do something that men don't care about, we're "vain." Apparently, "vain" means "having a perspective about yourself that does not revolve around the pleasure of men."

You have here a lot of voices of women who have had breast reductions or who have contemplated them. Most of us are not saying "I wanted to be pretty so men would like me!" I think it's sort of telling that you ignored all of the actual reasons that women have given for having breast reductions and instead decided to inform us what men like and how that should affect our decisions.
posted by craichead at 4:16 AM on May 19, 2011 [12 favorites]

I won't play this "delicately phrase everything to avoid stepping on 100 different people's neuroses" game.

I'm lewd and crude (and for that matter, tattooed). I don't dance around people's feelings on tippy toes. And yet, somehow, I manage to function here and in society mostly ok by having a minimal amount of consideration about this shit.

You are making a mistake to blame other people for being too sensitive, rather than manning up (or womanning up, if you aren't a guy) and accepting that what you said missed the mark. What you meant might have been fine; what you said was pretty dumb.
posted by Forktine at 4:40 AM on May 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

Forktine--pla is a man. Go look at his comment history in some of the threads about women's issues, feminism, etc. It's no surprise he still can't see what we've all been trying to explain for years.
posted by tzikeh at 4:42 AM on May 19, 2011

No one should be told what they an and cannot comment on because of their sex/gender.
posted by jb at 6:06 AM on May 19, 2011

jb: "No one should be told what they an and cannot comment on because of their sex/gender."

I don't think anyone's saying that. tzikeh pointed out that pla has posted some controversial content in women's-issues threads. Now, maybe it's gauche to discuss posting history like this, but nobody suggested that pla stop posting.
posted by workerant at 8:00 AM on May 19, 2011

It's a great article, and like others here, I know a few women who've had the surgery and been elated and relieved with the results. I'm really glad for them and support their choices. [And yes, I've heard some men quip that it should be outlawed, because of the big titties yahoo, amirite mentality]

This may be a side note, but I am gobsmacked that such major surgery does not require at least overnight/several days in hospital. Going home with the drains in and all she describes seems shocking to me. She repeats over and over, and I believe her absolutely as I have lots of experience with surgery, that this is a major operation and yet she's released to her mother and a hotel room a few scant hours after she's out of the OR. I wonder how many of the risks she read about with her mother could emanate from such brisk removal from hospital setting care.
posted by honey-barbara at 8:15 AM on May 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Post-surgery, she still has issues - Perhaps the breasts didn't cause them, hmm?

It's because of people like you questioning a woman's every motivation for anything she does with her body and how she feels about it and judging her by your standards rather than trying to understand. Sexisn can't be surgically removed so she is always going to have body issues. Don't victim-blame her or any other woman for internalizing the oppression of always being judged.
posted by fuq at 8:49 AM on May 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

So....Do you think it would be too painful for Cher to just replace her whole face with a giant breast? Because it seems like it would be worth almost any sacrifice for a video of a singing nipple.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 9:38 AM on May 19, 2011

fuq : It's because of people like you questioning a woman's every motivation for anything she does with her body and how she feels about it and judging her by your standards rather than trying to understand.

Come again? I didn't "question" anyone - I pointed out that she still questions herself. In her own words. I "can't possibly know what other people feel", tzikeh, but I can read what they personally write about those feelings.


Sexisn can't be surgically removed so she is always going to have body issues. Don't victim-blame her or any other woman for internalizing the oppression of always being judged.

When trying to decide whether or not to accuse someone of a prejudice, such as sexism, you should first ask yourself if they would apply the same standards with the roles reversed. So, if the topic involved penis enlargement surgery, would we still need to argue about whether or not it had anything to do with sociosexual expectations and pressures? Would you say I can't possibly understand how men feel about the pressures society puts on them as regards the (functionally) meaningless size of their anatomy?


/ Just in case I need to connect those dots for you, yes, I would still call out males who think that slicing and dicing the ligaments in their pelvis can fix a problem 2.5 feet higher.
posted by pla at 11:14 AM on May 19, 2011

I am glad I found this post as my fiance is seriously considering breast reduction surgery. She is an excellent candidate for it, but I am not sure she has thought the entire procedure through. I can't wait to share this with her tonight. Thanks for an excellent post.
posted by dbooker at 11:24 AM on May 19, 2011

For the record...breast reduction surgery can make you gain sensation in your nipples. Large-breasted women can lack sensation and then gain it thanks to the surgery.
posted by vitabellosi at 11:41 AM on May 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

So, if the topic involved penis enlargement surgery, would we still need to argue about whether or not it had anything to do with sociosexual expectations and pressures? Would you say I can't possibly understand how men feel about the pressures society puts on them as regards the (functionally) meaningless size of their anatomy?

Until 14-year-olds are regularly humiliated by being openly groped in public by adults specifically because of the size of their penises, grow up experiencing daily physical pain from the size of their genitals that prevents them from taking part in sports or sleeping comfortably or walking up stairs or standing up straight, put up with years of friends, colleagues, and strangers teasing them and speaking to their crotches rather than their faces, and have their intelligence assumed to be low (and their sexual promiscuity assumed to be high) based solely on the size of the bulge in their pants... until THEN, pla, your analogy holds absolutely not one drop of water and all you continue to do in this thread is (entirely unwittingly, I'm sure) demonstrate how very, very tiny your... capacity for empathy appears to be.
posted by scody at 12:02 PM on May 19, 2011 [14 favorites]

pla, if you really want to compare breast reduction with surgery on a mans penis, foreskin tightness is the more apt comparison as it, like a heavy bosom, can cause problems and pain for the individual and serious issues down the line. It's more common than you might think and I know of two young boys who have had that surgery.
posted by dabitch at 12:03 PM on May 19, 2011

guh, that should be "14-year-old boys," just to be clear.
posted by scody at 12:03 PM on May 19, 2011

When trying to decide whether or not to accuse someone of a prejudice, such as sexism, you should first ask yourself if they would apply the same standards with the roles reversed.

Given that societal prejudices involve power dynamics between privileged and not-privileged groups, I'm going to call bullshit on this. This is the same ridiculous thinking that leads people to demand White History Month.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:10 PM on May 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

If you want to believe that deviation-from-D inversely defines a woman's value (or that I in any way implied that in my first post to this thread), have fun without me. I won't play this "delicately phrase everything to avoid stepping on 100 different people's neuroses" game.

I am a 32 G. That's a G as in goddamn. I have a solid half-inch crater on each shoulder from where my bras sit. My $130 bras, that almost always die after about a year. I have permanent marks around my abdomen from where they bite.

I don't give a good goddamn what you think, or what any man thinks. I don't give a shit about whether or not I am supposed to be a freakin D cup. What I care about it being able to stand up straight, a feat which I require a longline steel boned corset to achieve for any length of time right now. I gain about three inches of height in one of those. I care about not having that lovely tearing ligament feeling every time I have to run after the bus. I can't cuddle my nephew properly without him either being smothered or so far away from my arms I'm barely patting him. I care that I often am elbowed in the breasts on crowded trains, entirely by accident, and spend that time trying to fold in on myself so I don't wind up maimed, or accidentally sexually harassing someone.

I know for a fact taking the mass off the front of my chest will improve my life. I don't give a damn about fitting in. I care about being able to flex my shoulders without each joint cracking and popping, I care about being able to dress myself without having to literally stitch myself into business shirts to prevent them popping open when I move. I don't own a swimsuit any more, because bikinis don't hold me in and one pieces are painful.

None of this has anything at all to do with how happy my partner is with me. Not with my appearance, or with me frettin' and a fussin'. I will be in less pain. I will be able to dress myself. I will be able to get around tight staircases without maiming myself. I can wear a seatbelt without the nylon abrading my body.

Right now I'm holding out till after I have kids, purely because my sister went up to a J and if that's going to happen to me, I'd rather only have one reduction, not two. But trust me, I'm counting the days. And I don't give a good goddamn what anyone else thinks of that, especially not men like you, pla.
posted by Jilder at 12:23 PM on May 19, 2011 [14 favorites]

[few comments removed - talk to each other civilly or take it to metatalk]
posted by jessamyn at 1:09 PM on May 19, 2011

Jilder - do you handwash your bras? Mine are lasting longer since I stopped machine washing them (never did dry them). I have this detergent called Soak which makes handwashing so much easier, because it's designed to work without scrubbing. My mother says it also does wonders on her wool sweaters. It's reasonably priced - $16 for a bottle that lasts me several months (I use 2-4 tsp per week). But I don't know if it's available outside of Canada.

How often you wear a bra before washing also affects how long they last -- the oils and sweat breaks down the fibers. The women at the fancy bra shop near me said you should wear a bra no more than two days before washing -- that's hard if you only have 2-3 bras like I always did. I've been lucky - between $100 bras on sale for $40, some good quality $50, I've been able to stock up. You may have a brand & model you especially like - but check out Figleaves as they may have that make on sale (last years colours, etc). But my $40 Change bra has lasted 3 years now.
posted by jb at 1:48 PM on May 19, 2011

I always handwash, as infrequently as I can get away with, in a wool wash, in cold water, then flat dry them. Oddly enough I was told by my bra lady not to wash them too often, as the detergents kill them as quickly as sweat does! Mostly I'm fighting gravity.

I am a massive fan of Freya. Their bras last the longest, fit the best and don't make me look too much like a nanna. I wear a fair bit of Triumph too, but only because they go up to a H and I can get them from the clearance outlet.

I'm extremely wary of buying bras off the net. Given a bad fit is the difference between a day with a migraine and a day without one, I'm willing to pay the extra for the opportunity to try them on and bounce around in them a bit before taking them home.
posted by Jilder at 8:18 AM on May 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Where is ukdanae when we need her?

I just went to a newer specialty store in town and got some very nice Panache and Goddess bras. The Goddess ones were "only" 39 bucks (and look much cuter than this picture); the Panache also comes in a plunge style. None of them look or feel like they came from the Army Corps of Engineers, and yet somehow my chesticles are happy and look good!
posted by Madamina at 10:22 AM on May 20, 2011

yikes, this Harlequin plunge bra is 74 dollars.

I second Freya as a very nice fit and support, also I wore the goddess after nursing (when I was two cup sizes larger) and can vouch for it giving a lovely profile as well as support. Someone here turned me on to Bravissimo where you can also buy shirts that won't pop a button and show off your bra! Brilliant.
posted by dabitch at 4:00 AM on May 22, 2011