"paradigm shift" = belonging to a universe where everyone has goatees posted by oneswellfoop at 9:28 AM on May 22, 2011 [4 favorites]
"complex" = nobody knows what the hell it's about posted by jonmc at 9:33 AM on May 22, 2011
and I thought they only used "A triumph" these days to refer to books that read like they were written by an insult comic dog... posted by oneswellfoop at 9:40 AM on May 22, 2011
"a page turner" = the paper feels weird posted by oneswellfoop at 9:40 AM on May 22, 2011
"you will tell your friends" (not to bother returning it) posted by oneswellfoop at 9:41 AM on May 22, 2011
"dark" = Batman's in it (stolen from the movie projection thread) posted by oneswellfoop at 9:43 AM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
"explosive" = seriously dude don't touch it, you'll get hurt posted by LogicalDash at 9:57 AM on May 22, 2011
"a literary classic" = as much fun as an 8th grade reading assignment posted by oneswellfoop at 10:07 AM on May 22, 2011
"Their best work yet" - utter dreck posted by zippy at 10:08 AM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
"this book saved my life" = I threw it at a guy threatening me and ran away posted by oneswellfoop at 10:12 AM on May 22, 2011
"they don't write 'em like this anymore" = written in a dead language posted by oneswellfoop at 10:12 AM on May 22, 2011
"an instant classic" = dated and outmoded, even before it's hit the shelves posted by LogicalDash at 10:30 AM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
"dark" = Batman's in it (stolen from the movie projection thread
I see you. posted by DU at 10:30 AM on May 22, 2011
"inspiring" = this review is, in fact, inspired by the book it is about, and not at all by any of my personal issues with the author, the English language, or life posted by LogicalDash at 10:32 AM on May 22, 2011
"steamy" = this book has been boiled posted by jonmc at 10:40 AM on May 22, 2011
"an X of Y proportions" = lots of adverbs. For instance, describing X in a Y way. But I'm better than that, see, I used an adjective instead. posted by LogicalDash at 10:41 AM on May 22, 2011
"brilliant debut" = fucked author at Bread Loaf / after a PEN meeting / during office hours
"stirring debut" = really wanted to fuck author at Bread Loaf / after a PEN meeting / during office hours posted by Chichibio at 12:04 PM on May 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
"transcends the genre" = reviewer is pissed that he was assigned a sci-fi book
"based on actual events" = ripped off from an episode of 'Law & Order'
"a medical thriller" or "a legal thriller" = 75% jargon
"takes you inside the mind of a madman" = would never want to meet the author in real life
"everyone should read this book" and suffer the same way I have posted by oneswellfoop at 12:12 PM on May 22, 2011 [2 favorites]
"everyone should read this book" and suffer the same way I have
or even
"everyone should read this book" and then god willing no-one will ever write one like it again posted by George_Spiggott at 12:35 PM on May 22, 2011
"transcends the genre" = reviewer is pissed that he was assigned a sci-fi book
Let's be fair - sometimes the reviewer is grateful for an opportunity to explain that the rest of [genre] is not art. posted by brennen at 2:15 PM on May 22, 2011
"consistently brilliant" - this is the only book this guy ever wrote that was actually sold posted by Harry at 2:16 PM on May 22, 2011
"a fury of dazzling transcendence" Oh! for an opportunity to use that! posted by Cranberry at 2:44 PM on May 22, 2011
"In the immortal style of X" - will forever destroy your love of X posted by Sparx at 2:52 PM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
"A bold new voice in [genre]" = a bad imitator of someone writing thirty years previous. posted by smoke at 4:52 PM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
"People will still be reading this in fifty years" = It will take you forever to finish. posted by smoke at 4:53 PM on May 22, 2011
posted by DU at 9:00 AM on May 22, 2011