Crime Fighting Armored Gloves

May 31, 2011 3:18 PM

A robber is cornered in a dead-end alley: He turns to face the police officer pursuing him, ready to fight. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber’s chest. He puts his hands up; it’s a fight he can’t win.

It sounds like something from a cyberpunk novel, but thanks to inventor David Brown and pal Kevin Costner, the glove may soon be mass produced. Targeted at the Military, and Police and Corrections Officers.

The first demo unit will be released to the Los Angeles sheriff’s department later this year. Brown says future incarnations could include chemical sensors, an electronic translator to help soldiers communicate overseas, or biometric readers for airport security guards.

posted by dirtylittlecity (132 comments total)

it’s a fight he can’t win

Unless, I guess, he has like a gun or something.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 3:21 PM on May 31, 2011 [42 favorites]

Superhero powers for cops?
Nothing could possibligh go wrong.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 3:22 PM on May 31, 2011 [35 favorites]

Coming soon to a traffic stop near you!
posted by Thorzdad at 3:22 PM on May 31, 2011 [21 favorites]

There's a lot of talk in that video, but you never see any volts arc, menacingly or otherwise.
posted by adamdschneider at 3:22 PM on May 31, 2011 [4 favorites]

Kevin Costner? The oil separation guy? Interesting to see him branching out.
posted by kmz at 3:23 PM on May 31, 2011 [8 favorites]

It looks and sounds painful when electricity sizzles between its electrodes, which may encourage an attacker to back off. As a last resort, it may be used to briefly incapacitate a particularly stubborn suspect.

Yes, right. Last resort.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:23 PM on May 31, 2011 [69 favorites]

DON'T GLOVE ME, BRO!
posted by mark242 at 3:23 PM on May 31, 2011 [15 favorites]

The big problem with cops having tasers was never, as far as I know, that they occasionally had to put them away.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 3:24 PM on May 31, 2011 [41 favorites]

Who knew civil liberties would evaporate with the touch of a Nintendo Power Glove.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:24 PM on May 31, 2011 [7 favorites]

So it's a carbon fiber glove-compartment that straps to your forearm and can hold, like, weapons and stuff.
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:25 PM on May 31, 2011

Powergloves? Call me when they get the Chainsword working...
posted by PenDevil at 3:25 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Imagine how many polish guys in airports the mounties could take care of!
posted by GuyZero at 3:25 PM on May 31, 2011 [4 favorites]

Unless, I guess, he has like a gun or something.

Obligatory
posted by unSane at 3:25 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love the power glove. It's so bad.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 3:25 PM on May 31, 2011 [10 favorites]

Try to picture Andy Griffith wearing these.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:26 PM on May 31, 2011 [8 favorites]

And seriously, framing this as an "invention award" doesn't make it more or less of another grunt-big-gun-awesome exercise. "This will save lives" is as silly sounding in real life as the sci-fi movies he's inspired by where the "this will end wars!" megawatt laser is then used to destroy things. He made a weapon. Weapons are going to be used with no regard for morality to hurt other people.

The most recent sci-fi technology we gave law enforcement was the taser, and it hasn't "saved lives." The cops use it at traffic stops and murder people with them.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 3:26 PM on May 31, 2011 [17 favorites]

Also, my first thought isn't cyberpunk but videogames. I'm picturing an old FPS with a powered gauntlet type weapon, but I can't place it exactly. Quake? Duke 3D? It's been so long...
posted by kmz at 3:27 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Great, an arms race on my city streets.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:27 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's a glove with a camera, laser pointer, and stun gun mounted on it.
It's like it was designed by a six year old. Internet news will jump on damn near anything for a story, hey?
posted by Stagger Lee at 3:27 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

It has a built-in camera which should help with prosecuting abuse.
posted by stbalbach at 3:27 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

It sounds like something from a cyberpunk novel Soldier of Fortune spank bank
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:28 PM on May 31, 2011

A robber protester is cornered in a dead-end alley...
posted by OverlappingElvis at 3:28 PM on May 31, 2011 [35 favorites]

Um, it's an arm guard with a taser in it. Doesn't seem terribly useful, but it is nice and heavy and I bet it's hot inside too. I can't wait for the day when our police collapse under the weight of their own weapons (and stupidity).
posted by doctor_negative at 3:28 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Its so bad.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 3:29 PM on May 31, 2011 [10 favorites]

I was hoping his fist would shoot out of the end, grab the crim by the neck and dish out JUSTICE.
posted by hnnrs at 3:30 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

The big problem with cops having tasers was never, as far as I know, that they occasionally had to put them away.

Except for (possibly, depending on whom you believe), the cop who shot Oscar Grant.
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 3:30 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

stbalbach: It has a built-in camera which should help with prosecuting abuse.

Or at least help with the next Jackass movie.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 3:32 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]

I look forward to a time where cops are fought by masked vigilante superheroes.
posted by dunkadunc at 3:32 PM on May 31, 2011 [7 favorites]

Awesome, the burgeoning theist police state of America now has an actual Iron Fist of the Law!
posted by Happy Dave at 3:33 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Except for (possibly, depending on whom you believe), the cop who shot Oscar Grant.

Except that no matter whom you believe, Grant didn't need either to be shot or to be tased, so …
posted by kenko at 3:33 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]

I wonder if police reports will have routine incidents of fisting now ?
posted by iamabot at 3:34 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's my death ray! But it's to be used for peaceful purposes only!

I too was wondering if outfitting cops with these might cut down on the "confusion" of guns for tasers.
posted by cereselle at 3:37 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

More likely scenario: A peaceful protestor is corralled in a dead-end police barricade. He turns to leave the area, ready to exercise his right to assemble. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the protestor’s chest. He puts his hands up; it’s a fight he didn't go looking for and certainly can’t win.
posted by bgrebs at 3:37 PM on May 31, 2011 [16 favorites]

Fuck Tha Police.
posted by nathancaswell at 3:38 PM on May 31, 2011

Pick up that can.
posted by boo_radley at 3:38 PM on May 31, 2011 [38 favorites]

Lol, cause Tasers were so effective at getting cops to use their weapons less.
posted by entropone at 3:38 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Where is the one with the rotating knives and sawblades attachment?

Or the one with the District 9 alien hand graft, complete with claws?

Cuz that'd pretty frickin' awesome.
posted by darkstar at 3:39 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

And here I was trying to figure out a way to get cops riding Segways to look even stupider, but I was just doing it for laughs. This guy did it for profit. Fuck me!
posted by entropone at 3:39 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

kmz: Also, my first thought isn't cyberpunk but videogames. I'm picturing an old FPS with a powered gauntlet type weapon, but I can't place it exactly. Quake? Duke 3D? It's been so long...

HeXen?
posted by GeckoDundee at 3:40 PM on May 31, 2011

What about the bachelor attachment?
posted by clavdivs at 3:42 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Clearly, the next step is the glove that fires alien bees from Half Life.

A robber is cornered in a dead-end alley. He is covered in bees.
posted by running order squabble fest at 3:43 PM on May 31, 2011 [22 favorites]

I'll bet that video camera is awfully temperamental. Why, I suspect that if you so much as look at it cross-eyed it quits working. Of course, it starts working again once the perp is in custody. Electronics sure are funny, aren't they?
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:43 PM on May 31, 2011 [14 favorites]

Your move, creep black person with a backpack.
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:44 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]

bgrebs... You left off the ending where the cop zaps the protestor anyway and claims that he exhibited threatening behaviors.

Seriously...Low-paid police forces armed with a weapon straight out of their most aggro X-Box wet-dreams? What could go wrong?
posted by Thorzdad at 3:45 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Will the charger for this occasionally shout out, "Fill your cravings at the Circus of Values!"?
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 3:45 PM on May 31, 2011 [4 favorites]

an old FPS with a powered gauntlet type weapon

I'm thinking Quake 3 Arena.
posted by Kalthare at 3:45 PM on May 31, 2011

I really wanted to see him demonstrate it on Kevin Costner.
posted by snofoam at 3:46 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm just thinking out loud here but I wonder what would happen if someone turned a water hose on someone who was wearing a glove that shot out 500,000 volts?
posted by Poet_Lariat at 3:49 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

"I really wanted to see him demonstrate it on Kevin Costner."

You don't demonstrate this on Superman's dad unless you want to be in a world of hurt (unless, of course, there's a Kryptonite ray in it as well!
posted by tomswift at 3:50 PM on May 31, 2011

Now all of our cops will look like those tools from Stubbs The Zombie.
posted by Slackermagee at 3:53 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

the actor Kevin Costner, a friend and BodyGuard investor

Costner must sing "IIIIIEEEEIIIIeeeiii will always love yooooooooooooou" to himself every time he writes this guy a check. That's gotta be the reason he's involved. It's got to be. I swear to god I will never hear anything that says otherwise.
posted by furiousthought at 3:59 PM on May 31, 2011

The Return of Götz von Berlichingen
posted by joost de vries at 4:01 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

A robber suspect is cornered in a dead-end alley...

WTF is so hard about this innocent-until-proven-guilty thing???
posted by LordSludge at 4:01 PM on May 31, 2011 [11 favorites]

Take one step outta line, and this giant... plastic... slug... attached to my forearm's gonna slime ya! It's got a green laser and room for a GPS and... everything. We thought it up while drinking beer on Kevin's patio.

(can I go now?)
posted by Devonian at 4:01 PM on May 31, 2011

I'm just thinking out loud here but I wonder what would happen if someone turned a water hose on someone who was wearing a glove that shot out 500,000 volts?

They'll beat you for carrying a super-soaker.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 4:05 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Put this technology on a hockey glove for a new twist on the game.
posted by found missing at 4:07 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Oh and seriously Popsci? This is what we're giving awards out for now?

I eagerly await for the 2012 invention award. Personally, I'm hoping for the tankplane, but I'd be satisfied if the gundick won too.

Also, why'd they design this thing with the electrodes on the back? The only way to use it is to bitchslap a suspect, and I doubt that's going to go over very well when it gets posted to youtube.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 4:12 PM on May 31, 2011 [4 favorites]

The U.S. Department of Justice holds an annual Mock Prison Riot?
posted by perhapses at 4:13 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, no. The Law is plenty well-armed already, thanks.
posted by EatTheWeak at 4:14 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Too late to sign up for this year.
posted by perhapses at 4:14 PM on May 31, 2011

Screw all y'all. This isn't a bad idea.
posted by valkyryn at 4:14 PM on May 31, 2011

I'm thinking Quake 3 Arena.

HUMILIATION INCARCERATION
posted by infinitewindow at 4:15 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Brown says future incarnations could include chemical sensors, an electronic translator to help soldiers communicate overseas, or biometric readers for airport security guards.

Poor Batman, pretty soon the regular cops will have all his cool stuff, and he'll be relegated to kvetching about how he was into hi-tech black armor before it went mainstream.

"Cops these days don't appreciate the art of using an armguard-mounted-weapon," he'll grumble. "Back before it was all standard issue, having armor with 15 different push-button-activated weapons in it really meant something. It showed you were really dedicated to the crime-fighting scene, y'know? Not like these posers. I was there from the beginning, back in the day, back when Gotham was a shithole and the scene was really raw, you know, really authentic. Now it's all mall-cops vs. Clayface, man, they're all so fake."
posted by mstokes650 at 4:17 PM on May 31, 2011 [5 favorites]

Uppity Pigeon #2> The big problem with cops having tasers was never, as far as I know, that they occasionally had to put them away.

UrineSoakedRube> Except for (possibly, depending on whom you believe), the cop who shot Oscar Grant.

kenko> Except that no matter whom you believe, Grant didn't need either to be shot or to be tased, so …

I agree -- I suspect the most likely explanation for what happened was that Mehserle intended to taze Grant because Grant talked back to him, and pulled a gun instead. Which should have entailed a much lengthier sentence than what he got, because in the most generous interpretation of Mehserle's actions, it was a violent felony which should have immediately gotten a sentence enhancement due to the use of a firearm.

No, he shouldn't have tazed Grant in the first place. But if he had, Grant might be alive today.
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 4:17 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Isn't this the main gimmick in Bulletstorm?

The cops just need to realize that with great power comes great responsibility.

This is great for recruitment. I never wanted to be a soldier but drones look so neat that I can imagine controlling one. This could get a whole new generation of gamers to become cops.

Probably won't come to Aus tho. We just gave our cops TAZERS.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:18 PM on May 31, 2011

Oh and seriously Popsci? This is what we're giving awards out for now?

They also gave out awards for a mirror that measures vital signs, a low-cost test for pre-natal diseases, and a more efficient prosthetic hand, among other things. Presumably, though, those aren't terribly interesting things to talk about, not having being invented specifically to piss off the blue.
posted by Errant at 4:27 PM on May 31, 2011 [4 favorites]

"A robber peaceful protester is cornered dancing in a dead-end alley public park"

More likely use case. Is anyone ever tasered after being cornered in an ally? Like ever? Aren't they all tasered standing in the street, or in their own home, or while protesting in a crowd?

This sort of macho high noon stand off seems to play into authoritarian fantasies rather than real security problems.
posted by y6y6y6 at 4:28 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

"He wanted something that a person could deploy instinctually."

Somehow I doubt that this is a feature and not a bug
posted by Blasdelb at 4:29 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Oops, sorry I tased yo blasdelb.
It's just that your eating with your mouth open really got on my nerves.
posted by joost de vries at 4:32 PM on May 31, 2011

So the face-recognition is in the sealed, armored pouch on his forearm? Is there an intravenously injected coolant for the CPU? Why would anyone be attacking your forearm to stop from being recognized?
posted by StickyCarpet at 4:36 PM on May 31, 2011

Kevin Costner hawking something called The BodyGuard... Are we absolutely sure this isn't a joke?
posted by Kattullus at 4:41 PM on May 31, 2011 [7 favorites]

I am assuming that Rule 34 applies. No I did not want to assume that!
posted by Danf at 4:41 PM on May 31, 2011

I wonder if this works with those who have squirrel hands.
posted by ZeusHumms at 4:41 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Unless this Arm Glove can shoot out lethal power, the New Orleans Police Dept. will not need it as they already know and use bad-ass justice during an Arrest!
posted by taxpayer at 4:44 PM on May 31, 2011

The scenario in the post makes me think of the giant scimitar vs gun scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark. I would expect the same end result as well.
posted by horsemuth at 4:45 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

The scenario in the post makes me think of the giant scimitar vs gun scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark. I would expect the same end result as well.

Might work in places like Aus or the UK, where it's mostly knives.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:49 PM on May 31, 2011

What's the over-under odds on this being used against protesters within 6 months of it being available?
posted by Old'n'Busted at 4:49 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

"prevent violent situations" lololololololol
posted by tehloki at 4:56 PM on May 31, 2011

A robber is cornered in a dead-end alley: He turns to face the police officer pursuing him, ready to fight. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber’s chest. He puts his hands up and grins; Max Dillon is going to escape.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 5:04 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Popular Science magazine has a name that is at most as descriptive of its content as The History Channel's.
posted by invitapriore at 5:07 PM on May 31, 2011

Kevin Costner hawking something called The BodyGuard...

Kattulus, I will always love you.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:09 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

This thing is going to repurpose for BDSM a lot better than tasers did.
posted by localroger at 5:18 PM on May 31, 2011 [6 favorites]

The first person to invent a wearable, wide spectrum EMP for personal defense, wins.

Mo' microchips, mo' problems.
posted by digitalprimate at 5:20 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

I like that he refers to the storage space as "real estate" when it is, essentially, a glove compartment.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:26 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Even. More likely scenario: A peaceful protestor bystander is corralled in a dead-end police barricade. He turns to leave the area, ready to exercise his right to assemble go. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the protestor’s chest.

Zap. Heart failure.

Whoops!
posted by BlueHorse at 5:26 PM on May 31, 2011 [6 favorites]

It has a built-in camera which should help with prosecuting abuse

Complete with "Convenient Malfunction" button!

Whatever happened to that rapid-expanding foam that was gonna immobilize perps harmlessly (unless, I guess, it smothers them)? Was that deemed not harmful enough?
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:38 PM on May 31, 2011

Remember, this is Popular Science. Popular Science is to engineering as Reader's Digest is to English literature.
posted by zardoz at 5:42 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]

Can it be used on people who dance in public?
posted by the noob at 5:46 PM on May 31, 2011

Troy Hurtubise's bear suit will save more lives.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:47 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

A suspected perp is seated in an interrogation room: He turns to face the police officer questioning him, ready to assert his 5th amendment rights. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the suspected perp’s chest. He shakily picks up the pen from the desk and signs the false voluntary confession; it’s a fight he can’t win.
posted by Daddy-O at 5:49 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]

When electric cyber-hands are outlawed, only outlaws wil have electric cyber-hands....
posted by schmod at 5:52 PM on May 31, 2011

I like that he refers to the storage space as "real estate" when it is, essentially, literally a glove compartment.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 5:56 PM on May 31, 2011 [3 favorites]

Come with me or there will be ... trouble.
posted by bwg at 6:19 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

2bucksplus: "Great, an arms race on my city streets."

I see what you did there.
posted by bwg at 6:20 PM on May 31, 2011

Poor Batman, pretty soon the regular cops will have all his cool stuff, and he'll be relegated to kvetching about how he was into hi-tech black armor before it went mainstream.


Nah, he'll just say, "Carbon fiber? Whatever. I had it on vinyl."
posted by entropone at 6:22 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

Man, this is a Kazon scalp stimulator made on Gorra Prime.
posted by clavdivs at 6:25 PM on May 31, 2011

Kevin Costner hawking something called The BodyGuard... Are we absolutely sure this isn't a joke?

Hmmm....WATERWORLD!

bad timing
posted by clavdivs at 6:28 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

He turns to face the police officer pursuing him, ready to fight. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber’s chest. He puts his hands up; it’s a fight he can’t win.

Yeah...that is the device at its most honorable.

Unfortunately, if this thing is ever made it will only be used to menace and harass the socioeconomically disadvantaged thanks to our boys in blue.
posted by hal_c_on at 6:45 PM on May 31, 2011

I bet I could outrun the average cop that wields one of these. Anybody who seriously considers engaging the police is probably not concerned with his criminal record and would have the weaponry to match. This thing isn't very useful.
posted by Submiqent at 7:06 PM on May 31, 2011

Wow. Mefi is so anti-cop.
posted by notmydesk at 7:06 PM on May 31, 2011

Wow. Mefi is so anti-cop.

No. We're pro-human.
posted by hal_c_on at 7:13 PM on May 31, 2011 [10 favorites]

I agree -- I suspect the most likely explanation for what happened was that Mehserle intended to taze Grant because Grant talked back to him, and pulled a gun instead.

You know how when you're watching "ER" and they yell "CLEAR" and everyone steps away from the body that is about to be defibrillated? Yeah...people who work with defibrillators and tasers know about that.

If you are holding hands with someone who gets tased...you will feel it too.

Several cops were holding on top of Oscar Grant...and you think its likely that a cop wanted to taze the suspect? So that everybody could get tazed...including himself?

He undid his holster, took the safety off his service weapon, put the requisite amount of pressure on the trigger and then said "oh shit...i thought it was a taser".

Come on man.
posted by hal_c_on at 7:17 PM on May 31, 2011 [4 favorites]

The problem with weapons that are part of your clothing is that they have a tendency to go off when you don't expect them to. What if the cop has an uncomfortable itch on his bottom that he scratches it the wrong way?

The whole setup of the the robber halting in his tracks reminds me of a previous invention I read about many years ago. It was a giant net that you shot at the fleeing theif. It was shot out of this thing that looked like a cannon with a 6" barrel. They asked the cop if it worked. "We don't know yet. Every time we pointed it at someone they immediately stopped running."
posted by eye of newt at 7:30 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

theif/thief scratches it/scratches ugh!
posted by eye of newt at 7:31 PM on May 31, 2011

Hm. And all along, I thought we'd firmly settled into the Snow Crash dystopia....
posted by schmod at 8:44 PM on May 31, 2011

> Wow. Mefi is so anti-cop.

No, we are "anti-cops-with-nasty-aggressive-weapons".

I was about 11 before I first saw a police officer carrying a gun...
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 8:52 PM on May 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Kevin Costner hawking something called The BodyGuard... Are we absolutely sure this isn't a joke?

Hmmm....WATERWORLD!

Wrong post, man.
posted by hattifattener at 8:58 PM on May 31, 2011

If it is made to be used instinctually, I would put the stunner in the fingers, not on the forearm.
posted by psycho-alchemy at 9:51 PM on May 31, 2011

I like how the ballistic kevlar deflects the bullets up and into the wearer's face!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:02 PM on May 31, 2011

I would like the same concept done, only with various sex toy attachments (keep the camera part though). make love, not war.
posted by jcworth at 10:07 PM on May 31, 2011

Here's the link to sign up to be a Role Player. Fuck me, who does that for fun?!
posted by bendy at 10:27 PM on May 31, 2011

I always liked the idea of Instant Banana Peel.
posted by pianomover at 10:38 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm having mine modified to inject crystal meth directly into my brachial artery every time my heart rate goes above 100.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:41 PM on May 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am assuming that Rule 34 applies.
posted by Danf

The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber’s chest. He puts

on his robe and wizard hat.
posted by regicide is good for you at 10:47 PM on May 31, 2011 [10 favorites]

Here's the link to sign up to be a Role Player. Fuck me, who does that for fun?!

Arkham Asylum sold pretty well, but you got to be Batman.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:48 PM on May 31, 2011

The big problem with cops having tasers was never, as far as I know, that they occasionally had to put them away.

I'd like to see the stats on % of abuse factor with tasers; I'll bet they're not abused as much as people think they are.

I'd also like to see the posters here who think that cops are so bad go live in without them. Just a thought.
posted by Vibrissae at 12:43 AM on June 1, 2011

A robber is cornered in a dead-end alley: He turns to face the police officer pursuing him, ready to fight. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber’s chest. He puts his hands up; it’s a fight he can’t win.

And if they only gave police lethal weapons, people wouldn't commit crimes at all! I think we can all agree that no one wants to fight a speeding bullet.

Right?
posted by DLWM at 1:26 AM on June 1, 2011

The U.S. Department of Justice holds an annual Mock Prison Riot?

I think the official term is "party at the County Jail".
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:30 AM on June 1, 2011

I'd also like to see the posters here who think that cops are so bad go live in without them. Just a thought.

It's not a choice between "bad cops" and "no cops". The posters here who think that cops are so bad, generally speaking, want cops who don't abuse their power, who don't use force beyond what's necessary. We want cops who are, and act like, they're part of the community, that their authority derives from the community, and who treat their power as a duty to do what's right. We don't want cops who act like an invading force, getting military handmedowns and acting like they are better than the civilians, and that they are above reproach.

Just a thought.
posted by Lemurrhea at 5:19 AM on June 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

Previously.
posted by MrMoonPie at 5:40 AM on June 1, 2011

Mefi is so anti-cop.

I've said it before, but here in NYC First Precinct the police are quite good. Probably cherry-picked because City Hall is here.

Latest story: I'm waiting in the station house lobby to make a police report on a burglary. A police woman walks by and says, "you almost got hit by a car."

"No, I'm here to make a report..."

"Two days ago, you were carrying three plastic crates and an electrical cord. You were in the cross walk, and a van pulled forward too far. You made a gesture, and continued walking."

Then I remembered, that's exactly what happened.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:59 AM on June 1, 2011

I read somewhere that an earlier prototype of the glove, which employed static electricity, was rejected when officers kept attracting balloons.
posted by horsewithnoname at 6:25 AM on June 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Kevin Costner: "...what we call a non-lethal weapon."

Exactly.
posted by orme at 6:34 AM on June 1, 2011

The working assumption is that in all cases a suspect/perp is actually reasoning and is capable of making rational choices when cornered by a police officer. A laser pointer on his chest will do nothing under those circumstances.
posted by plinth at 7:00 AM on June 1, 2011

"A fishing lure isn't designed to catch fish; it's designed to catch fishermen."

I asked a friend of mine, a cop, why cops had to go get all decked out in the manly gear, with extra weapons stashed in various places on their bodies. He said it was " just psychological".

After twenty years of reflection on his answer, I find it more disturbing all the time.

Reminds me of when the old Nintendo Power Glove came out. My brother was an electrical engineer working in the defense industry at the time. He groaned, and told me that somewhere, some general was watching his grandkid play with the Power Glove, and was going to insist that he needed something just like that, you know, for doing awesome general-stuff.
posted by Xoebe at 7:26 AM on June 1, 2011

"A robber is cornered in a dead-end alley: He turns to face the police officer pursuing him, ready to fight. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber’s chest. He puts his hands up; it’s a fight he can’t win" said the author, masturbating furiously.
posted by jaduncan at 8:21 AM on June 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

Wow. Mefi is so anti-cop.
posted by notmydesk at 3:06 AM on June 1

You say that like it's a bad thing.
posted by Decani at 8:34 AM on June 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

A better PopSci invention would be a cheap tiny device that records video and sound in all directions and streams the video to a service like Qik, to help identify muggers, assailants, and best of all, curb the police's habits of using things like Tasers and now Electro-Gloves from randomly zapping people they think aren't being compliant enough.

Because really, the cops have enough toys. Give us average people something to protect ourselves, even if it's just proof of the assault when it inevitably happens.
posted by quin at 8:38 AM on June 1, 2011

A laser pointer on his chest will do nothing under those circumstances.

Especially when the TASER isn't actually a TASER, but a stun gun - it doesn't shoot anything. Laser sights on a gun point to roughly where your bullet would go. This is showing... what you're filming, as far as I can tell. This "laser pointer" is intended to show you where your in-built video camera is pointing - which I assume means that it's going to be pointed at people's faces a lot. This could cause problems of its own.

On the plus side, picture this scene:

A robber kitten is cornered in a dead-end alley: He turns to face the police officer pursuing him, ready to fight. He pauses. The officer’s left forearm is encased in ballistic nylon, and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist. A green laser target lands on the robber’s chest. He puts his hands paws up; it’s a fight he can’t win and chases the dot of the laser pointer until he's exhausted, and falls into a happy, kitteny sleep.
posted by running order squabble fest at 8:58 AM on June 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Screw all y'all. This isn't a bad idea.
posted by valkyryn at 4:14 PM on May 31 [+] [!]

Haha, you're funny because you're a contrarian! But seriously, this is a fucking awful idea.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:30 AM on June 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

Finally, the police will be able to stop an unarmed man trapped in a blind alley! Thanks, technology!
posted by whir at 3:21 PM on June 1, 2011 [7 favorites]

...and half a million volts arc menacingly between electrodes on his wrist...
... thus emptying the batteries of any charge remaining, leaving the officer effectively unarmed himself.

Stupid, sensationalist "Science!!!" journalism continues to be the norm.
posted by IAmBroom at 8:44 PM on June 8, 2011