You have all committed a terrible sin.

June 5, 2011 5:21 PM

The Life Zone is an anti-abortion suspense thriller about three women who are kidnapped and forced to carry their pregnancies to term.
posted by EarBucket (86 comments total)

Isn't this the same plot as everyone's three favorite sci-fi shows?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:25 PM on June 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

...

It's like they watched the SAW series and didn't catch that Jigsaw was actually kind of the bad guy.
posted by Think_Long at 5:26 PM on June 5, 2011 [20 favorites]

Not sure if serious.
posted by MikeMc at 5:28 PM on June 5, 2011

wut
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 5:29 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

Amanda Marcotte's elevator pitches for additional films in a putative series. (The suggested reboot of I Spit on Your Grave is especially commended to your attention.
posted by kipmanley at 5:30 PM on June 5, 2011 [4 favorites]

Kenneth Del Vecchio--hypenate, triple threat and probably one of the worst filmmakers since Ed Wood. Seriously, this is one of the lamest things I've ever seen on YouTube.

rivia

Is a lawyer.

Is the Author of the New Jersey Code of Criminal Justice

Chairman of the Hoboken International Film Festival (formerly the New Jersey Interational Film & Screenplay Festival).

Has an IQ of genius level.
posted by Ideefixe at 5:33 PM on June 5, 2011

Whaaa? It's like Human Centipede, only with no Japanese dude. I seriously have no idea what the agenda of this is. Anti-abortion? But...the kidnappers are evil, right? Whatever it is, it appears to be on imdb.
posted by phunniemee at 5:34 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

Name one thing, one thing at all, that makes more sense than this. See? You can't.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:34 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

Previously, from the director and the writer. Oh my.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:35 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Silver lining: people finally start using the term "forced birth brigade" for pro-lifers.
posted by longdaysjourney at 5:37 PM on June 5, 2011 [15 favorites]

"Kenneth Del Vecchio--hypenate, triple threat ..."

Well, he did write, produce and co-star in a movie with Charles Durning and Michael Paré. That puts him waaaay ahead of John Fitzgerald Page anyway.
posted by MikeMc at 5:46 PM on June 5, 2011

Is there a psychological term for someone who is a relentless self-promoter yet who's real accomplishments are noticeably lacking? Or maybe someone who holds a pathological level of self-esteem and, while being somewhat successful, it still doesn't justify their delusions?

Whenever somebody starts talking about their "Confirmed Genius-level IQ" (I'm looking at YOU, Kenneth Del Vecchio and Scott Adams!) I start to wonder if there is something else at work in this person's mind besides an over-inflated ego.
posted by Avenger at 5:47 PM on June 5, 2011 [9 favorites]

It's like a death panel, but in reverse!
posted by Askiba at 5:52 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

"narcissist"
the original meaning of "megalomaniac"
posted by LogicalDash at 5:52 PM on June 5, 2011

Isn't this the same plot as everyone's three favorite sci-fi shows?

Sliders, Quantum Leap, and Lexx?
posted by russm at 5:54 PM on June 5, 2011 [6 favorites]

actually, scratch Quantum Leap and replace it with 7 Days...
posted by russm at 5:55 PM on June 5, 2011

Isn't this the same plot as everyone's three favorite sci-fi shows?

Sliders, Quantum Leap, and Lexx?

Not the three I was thinking of (trying to avoid spoilers) but this would be pretty tasteful compared to most Lexx plots.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:57 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

Actress Blanche Baker: "Dr. Victoria Wise" in this film and "Ofglen" in The Handmaid's Tale. That's an interesting connection.
posted by fuse theorem at 5:57 PM on June 5, 2011 [5 favorites]

His imdb bio was written by "Frances Teacher". His wife's name is Francine, and she is... a teacher. *sigh*
posted by likeso at 6:09 PM on June 5, 2011 [15 favorites]

Is there a psychological term for someone who is a relentless self-promoter yet who's real accomplishments are noticeably lacking?

Boing Boing Editor.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 6:11 PM on June 5, 2011 [40 favorites]

an anti-abortion suspense thriller about three women who are kidnapped and forced to carry their pregnancies to term.

So...a documentary?
posted by DU at 6:12 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

i'm eagerly awaiting the sequel, the daddy zone, in which the 3 fathers of these babies are imprisoned until they agree to marry the mothers in a christian ceremony

oh, wait, there is no such sequel planned?

that's ok, i wasn't really eagerly awaiting it, anyway
posted by pyramid termite at 6:13 PM on June 5, 2011 [14 favorites]

Not the three I was thinking of

it took me longer than I expected to think of 3 other than the obvious candidates - I'd actually almost like to meet someone who'd count them as their favorites.

does Threat Matrix count as sci-fi?
posted by russm at 6:20 PM on June 5, 2011

What the fucking fuck. Seriously, what what what the what the fucking fuck?
posted by prefpara at 6:27 PM on June 5, 2011 [5 favorites]

Isn't this the same plot as everyone's three favorite sci-fi shows?

There was that one episode of The X-Files where the clan (for lack of a better word) kept their one female under the bed with her arms and legs cut off. That seems similar.

Still gives me fucking nightmares.
posted by maryr at 6:29 PM on June 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

I can't figure out who's agenda this film would actually serve well. All I can imagine is that there was some incompetence and miscommunication down the line.
posted by floam at 6:32 PM on June 5, 2011

I must thank this dude for going to the trouble of showing the world that "No, we are not kidding, these fuckers really do think women are nothing but sperm incubators."
posted by emjaybee at 6:36 PM on June 5, 2011 [9 favorites]

There was that one episode of The X-Files where the clan (for lack of a better word) kept their one female under the bed with her arms and legs cut off. That seems similar.

She was more horribly mutated than anything, and was kind of calling the shots, being very much the matriarch of that particular little oxbow lake of humanity.
posted by cortex at 6:37 PM on June 5, 2011 [12 favorites]

Also it was like the kitchen counter I think that she was under.
posted by cortex at 6:37 PM on June 5, 2011

maryr, I visibly shudder thinking about it, too...although I thought she had lost her limbs via disease or defect. And yes, I thought it was under the bed as well.
posted by ltracey at 6:38 PM on June 5, 2011

There was that one episode of The X-Files where the clan (for lack of a better word) kept their one female under the bed with her arms and legs cut off. That seems similar.

I thought part of the main plot was also about pregnancy?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:41 PM on June 5, 2011

Right, as cortex noted when we first see her we only glimpse her face and imagine she's imprisoned... it's then later quite clearly revealed that she wasn't a captive at all, but was in fact the mother of the clan, and was a willing breeder of the next generation as had gone on for apparently many generations. Still disturbing, but not nearly as much as the implication of rape they first showed.

Is narcissist the right term? I feel like there should be something more specific; not just self-absorbed, but convinced of one's own greatness and success- not quite delusions of grandeur, although I guess that kind of covers it. The "IQ level of genius" is a good tipoff, of course.

I don't even mind that such people have their silly fantasies, I just mind that other people are dumb enough to buy into it even the little bit required for this guy to have anything even resembling a career. The fuck?!
posted by hincandenza at 6:43 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

yes, that's what "megalomania" means in the clinical sense
posted by LogicalDash at 6:45 PM on June 5, 2011

Isn't this the same plot as everyone's three favorite sci-fi shows?

Sliders, Quantum Leap, and Lexx?

Doctor Who is one.
posted by usagizero at 6:47 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

and that's why I didn't actually want to say it. thanks, usagizero. Doctor Who, X-Files, and one very recent one.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:48 PM on June 5, 2011

i believe the guy's got a genius-level iq - not every idiot can troll both sides of an issue simultaneously
posted by facetious at 6:49 PM on June 5, 2011

Horribly mutated matriarch.
Lost her limbs via disease or defect
Kept under the kitchen counter.
Willing breeder of the next generations.
Genius Level IQ.
posted by benzenedream at 7:00 PM on June 5, 2011 [5 favorites]

available on netflix instant:

John Carpenter: Pro-Life

When a scared 15-year-old girl (Caitlin Wachs) goes to an isolated clinic to end her pregnancy, her anti-abortion activist father (Ron Perlman) and brothers arrive, heavily armed and determined to force their way in and stop the procedure. But there'll be hell to pay when the baby's unearthly father gets involved. Emmanuelle Vaugier and Mark Feuerstein co-star in this episode of the spine-chilling Showtime series, directed by John Carpenter.
posted by p3on at 7:13 PM on June 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

I like the three favorite sci-fi derail better than talking about this drek.

Red Dwarf,
Lexx
Deep Space Nine
posted by oddman at 7:15 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Blanche Baker was also Molly Ringwald's sister in 'Sixteen Candles'!
posted by cherryflute at 7:21 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

There was that one episode of The X-Files where the clan (for lack of a better word) kept their one female under the bed with her arms and legs cut off. That seems similar.

That sounds like "Boxing Helena" but with a baby involved.

Also, Helena was indeed not under a bed, but in a box. And, I don't think she had a baby. Otherwise, same thing, really.
posted by deep thought sunstar at 7:26 PM on June 5, 2011

I can imagine this fitting into Torchwood, and I'm several seasons behind so I don't know if has been done. I have a harder time figuring out how Mal Reynolds would be involved with something like this, simply because, well, there is no more Firefly. It would definitely fit into a Futurama plot, although I don't think it's been done.

Yet.
posted by fiercekitten at 7:27 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I can imagine this fitting into Torchwood, and I'm several seasons behind so I don't know if has been done. I have a harder time figuring out how Mal Reynolds would be involved with something like this, simply because, well, there is no more Firefly.

It wouldn't be about Mal. It would be a spotlight episode for Simon. Since he's a doctor, they'd all have to defer to him when a hostage/cargo/whatever gets pregnant. Him and Inara would have to work together and deliver the baby, but the baby might have been experimented on by the same people who messed up River. There'd also be lots of shouting, since the rest of the crew doesn't fully trust Simon.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:30 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

I have a harder time figuring out how Mal Reynolds would be involved with something like this

One of the women is a former Companion who sends Inara a distress call. The creepy old guy went to seminary with Shepherd Book. Simon and River have to go undercover as a doctor and nurse to rescue them.
posted by EarBucket at 7:32 PM on June 5, 2011

On the one hand, the premise makes me itch....but on the other hand, I am a huge fan of bad MST3K-grade cinema and from the sound of this I'd be all over it like ugly on an ape.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:33 PM on June 5, 2011

Torture porn without even the fig leaf that the viewer isn't watching the movie just to watch pretty things tortured, or that they should feel bad about it.

Man, the right wing of this country just keeps becoming more and more id.
posted by X-Himy at 7:38 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

Firefly
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Blake's 7?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:44 PM on June 5, 2011

The West Wing?
posted by brundlefly at 7:56 PM on June 5, 2011

There's a mistake in the post here. It says this is an "anti-abortion" movie. This is clearly a pro-abortion movie.
posted by koeselitz at 8:00 PM on June 5, 2011

Battlestar Galactica.
posted by NedKoppel at 8:01 PM on June 5, 2011

There's a mistake in the post here. It says this is an "anti-abortion" movie. This is clearly a pro-abortion movie.

That kind of depends on a few things in the script: how the pro-life girl is treated, whether they all love their bundles of Jesus and regret their "mistake", and how The Jailer is dealt with.

Judging from his work on "O.B.A.M. Nude", I'm going to guess that The Jailer walks.
posted by hanoixan at 8:07 PM on June 5, 2011

particular little oxbow lake of humanity

I am going to use the shit out of that. As in work it into every conversation I have.
posted by pickinganameismuchharderthanihadanticipated at 8:09 PM on June 5, 2011 [4 favorites]

Whenever somebody starts talking about their "Confirmed Genius-level IQ", I start to wonder if there is something else at work in this person's mind besides an over-inflated ego.

Seriously. Here's a fun fact: I have a confirmed genius-level IQ. Know why I don't go around telling everyone that whenever trying to make a point, and signing myself up for MENSA or whatever so I could bring it up all the time?

Because I also know I'm flaky, ditzy, absent-minded, did poorly in school cause I made no effort and set myself way back because of it, and the kind of person who says dumb things constantly and has to follow it up with "oh, right. Yeah, sorry." I'm a decently smart guy, I think, but I'm also pretty damn stupid sometimes.

Just having those numbers means nothing. And the people who think it does, (see above re: MENSA,) and go around and act like that somehow makes them more correct or cleverer or just overall better than everyone else just demonstrate how empty their arguments and views really are, and generally right or wrong look like pricks in the process.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 8:13 PM on June 5, 2011 [14 favorites]

One of the women is a former Companion who sends Inara a distress call. The creepy old guy went to seminary with Shepherd Book. Simon and River have to go undercover as a doctor and nurse to rescue them.

Nonononono.

Serenity is attacked and disabled by Reavers, but when they board the Reavers don't murder and eat and rape. Much. Instead they just sort of corner Simon and hold him down, until River goes all psychic and tells everyone that they need help borning some babbies. Reaver babbies.

Simon of course helps them because he's just so fucking doctory. The episode closes in Shepherd Book's room, where he assembles a transmitter out of various bits and bobs he brought with them and tells... somebody... "It's begun."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:14 PM on June 5, 2011 [7 favorites]

I'm exactly the same way, JKF.

I can imagine this fitting into Torchwood, and I'm several seasons behind so I don't know if has been done.

Torchwood would take this squicky premise and make it 5 times more squicky. Maybe the parents are dead! Maybe the kid will be so evil Captain Jack MUST abort it for the good of humanity, though Gwen will try and argue him out of it! Maybe an alien will use sex-hormones to try and get everyone to impregnate her, but with a gross twist that I can't even imagine because my brain isn't as warped as Torchwood's writers!

and the third one is pretty obvious, since the whole 'kidnapped and having her pregnancy induced' thing was very explicitly part of the plot.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:16 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am uncomfortable with the number of people who had to have been involved in this. Not just because of their politics and inhumanity... just think of the bad taste...
posted by prefpara at 8:20 PM on June 5, 2011

Whenever somebody starts talking about their "Confirmed Genius-level IQ", I start to wonder if there is something else at work in this person's mind besides an over-inflated ego.

An ex of mine actually went and took an IQ test just so he could trot out his exact high score (with paper to back it up, if necessary) whenever someone challenged his reasoning. Dude was a major twat. True story.
posted by phunniemee at 8:21 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I actually was in MENSA briefly, but the only reason I joined was because I was idly looking at its web site and discovered my SAT scores were enough to qualify -- and lapsed into a FORTY-SECOND GIGGLE FIT because the thought of my actually being MENSA material seemed utterly ridiculous. I figured that was a sign I'd keep a good perspective about things, figured I'd meet some people I wouldn't have met otherwise, and joined. My membership was very brief.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:26 PM on June 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

Considering pro-lifers are already murdering doctors in church and blowing up clinics, this is probably a blueprint rather than a fantasy.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:27 PM on June 5, 2011 [5 favorites]

I have a confirmed postphysical god-level IQ. Know why I don't go around telling everyone that? Because that would be stupid.
posted by jet_manifesto at 8:34 PM on June 5, 2011 [5 favorites]

Sorry, you are correct. A second look at the synopsis I (hastily) linked does report a more "empowered" matriarch in that X-Files. I'm not sure I ever saw the end of the episode because I saw the limbless woman under the bed and turned the television the fuck off. Still have nightmares. Get out of there, Scully! God knows what they'll do if they get a redhead!
posted by maryr at 8:42 PM on June 5, 2011

Related: The play Keely & Du by Jane Martin.
posted by ao4047 at 8:46 PM on June 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I, too, am a genius but modest with it. Just wanted to drop in and mention that so we're clear. Genius. Okay. Carry on.

No offense, JKF/LIB/EC, I know you're stand-up folks.
posted by No-sword at 9:42 PM on June 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

that particular little oxbow lake of humanity

That is a beautiful phrase.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:47 PM on June 5, 2011

Is there a psychological term for someone who is a relentless self-promoter yet who's real accomplishments are noticeably lacking?

Yes, it's called the Doctorow Syndrome.
posted by Ratio at 10:04 PM on June 5, 2011 [6 favorites]

Is there a psychological term for someone who is a relentless self-promoter yet who's real accomplishments are noticeably lacking?

Fake it till you make it! Sometimes self-promotion can be its own reward.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:08 PM on June 5, 2011

I have an idea for a horror movie to show this same audience.

In it, three conservative women who are pregnant are kidnapped by a crazed liberal. He has been gifted by Satan with the ability to show them each what their children are going to grow up to be.

One is going to mother a serial rapist. One is going to mother a homosexual (albeit a closeted homosexual who becomes a conservative Senator). One is going to mother a liberal.

He releases them and says "you can keep your baby or abort him. It's your choice."

Then he is immediately anti-raptured or something (which, presumably, involves him not leaving Earth).

Anyhow, the three women all think long and hard and ultimately only the woman who is going to mother a liberal aborts. She's afraid she's going to be rejected by the community, but the conservative community all agrees that the rapist will keep creating babies, the gay Senator will protect the unborn, but the liberal will likely vote to allow more abortions to happen. Thus, by aborting the liberal, they're ultimately preventing future abortions.

Better yet, they wait until the liberal baby is born and then kill it, because once its out of the womb, it is no longer abortion.

I'm going to title my movie Dopey's Choice or something.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:54 PM on June 5, 2011 [12 favorites]

Just watched the trailer.

HAAAAAAaaaaa haaa haaa haaa haa! (My best approximation of DeNiro in Cape Fear laugh)
posted by CarlRossi at 10:58 PM on June 5, 2011

I was in MENSA and it was a good social club for overintelligent underachievers who otherwise would not meet smart people to converse with in their day-to-day lives. But now I work for engineers and scientists and have MetaFilter so I don't really need MENSA anymore to socialize.
posted by Jacqueline at 12:08 AM on June 6, 2011 [4 favorites]

Confirmed Genius-level IQ

So a "genius" is someone who does well on IQ tests then?
posted by acb at 2:21 AM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]

IS IT GHOSTBUSTERS 2?
posted by pxe2000 at 4:19 AM on June 6, 2011

I also thought of Keely & Du, ao4047. This movie sounds like someone watched the play and thought, "Wow! I think I'll use that exact same plot but completely misunderstand every single thing the original work was saying!"
posted by kyrademon at 5:22 AM on June 6, 2011

Is there a psychological term for someone who is a relentless self-promoter yet who's real accomplishments are noticeably lacking? Or maybe someone who holds a pathological level of self-esteem and, while being somewhat successful, it still doesn't justify their delusions?

May I humbly suggest the term "Palinist."

It would be funny to see the faces on the young guys who go see this movie opening weekend without knowing what it is about. I, too, got a Human Centipede vibe from it and if the marketers are wise they will play up that creepy-scientist-imprisons-pretty-girls angle and downplay the abortion angle.

I love the ideas for other Christian Right Wing Agenda Movies posted by Kipmanley. Off the top of my head the only idea I can come up with is a remake of The Shining: Jack's wife throws away her birth control pills and once she gets pregnant Jack regains his sanity and becomes loving father and supportive husband. With new life the Overlook Hotel becomes a Family Values Paradise where hallways ring with the sound of children at play.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:00 AM on June 6, 2011

The third (and genuinely awful) season of Beauty and the Beast.
posted by jokeefe at 6:39 AM on June 6, 2011

Ah, the whole "keep women captive and force them into something until they are into it", a well-proven trope of porn of all sorts, even Pro-Life porn, apparently.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:55 AM on June 6, 2011

I'm surprised Pan's Labyrinth hasn't been brought up yet. The (wicked, wicked) stepfather basically keeps the heroine's mother around just as a walking incubator for his son.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:55 AM on June 6, 2011 [3 favorites]

This is, though, explicitly the plot of Alien.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:07 AM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

I have a 17 INT and a 16 WIS but haven't been tested since 2nd Edition came out
posted by jtron at 7:20 AM on June 6, 2011 [6 favorites]

District 9, no changes needed.
posted by ennui.bz at 7:37 AM on June 6, 2011

Avenger: Is there a psychological term for someone who is a relentless self-promoter yet who's real accomplishments are noticeably lacking?

Ye olde pop culture term for this was a "Pia Zadora".

[wiki: Pia Zadora (born May 4, 1954) is an American actress and singer. After working as a child actress on Broadway, in regional theater, and in the film Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964), she came to national attention in 1981 when, following her starring role in the highly criticized [1] Butterfly, she won a Golden Globe Award as New Star of the Year.[2]When her film career failed to take off, she became a singer of popular standards and made several successful albums backed by a symphonic orchestra; as a singer she earned a measure of respect from critics who had previously written her off as an actress.]
posted by Jody Tresidder at 9:39 AM on June 6, 2011

Pretty sure you guys are all misspelling Timothy Ferris.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:41 AM on June 6, 2011

Man I totally wanted to get my Natural Born Killers on with her but she straight up put me in teh Life Zone.
posted by idiopath at 12:31 PM on June 6, 2011

If you were wondering--as I was--what on earth the "twist ending" could be, wonder no more. Here's a review, with a full plot summary. Spoilers, obviously, and plenty of WTF. I think Ken del Vecchio must be deranged. (That wasn't a spoiler.)

Also: I liked the part in the article where Robert Loggia finds out he's in a campaign ad for del Vecchio.

Asked what prompted him to support Del Vecchio for State Senate and why he is in a campaign commercial for the Republican candidate, a confused Loggia suddenly experienced a plot twist of his own. "I don't know, I am?"

Looks like the video has been removed from the article, but here it is on YouTube.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:53 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is, though, explicitly the plot of Alien.

Um, no. Alien is not a pro-life movie unless it is interpreted as such by those hard-core pro-lifers who believe that women should be forcefully impregnated and then die giving birth. Oh, wait...
posted by fuse theorem at 4:27 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]

SPOILERS FOR THE 3RD SCI-FI SERIES I WAS THINKING OF

















Fringe
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:55 PM on June 6, 2011

Um, no. Alien is not a pro-life movie unless it is interpreted as such by those hard-core pro-lifers who believe that women should be forcefully impregnated and then die giving birth.

PLOT ≠ THEME
posted by shakespeherian at 9:30 PM on June 6, 2011