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VOGUE
June 10, 2011 10:12 AM   Subscribe

"I performed to MADONNA's "VOGUE" in the summer of 1991 when my parents took me to Hampton Beach Casino in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. A business in the casino at the time gave tourists the chance to lip-synch to their favorite pop songs in front of a blue screen background, and I was lucky enough to partake that summer."
posted by hermitosis (73 comments total) 52 users marked this as a favorite

 
This rules so hard that it makes me want to die.
posted by to sir with millipedes at 10:13 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


FUCK YEAH, HAMPTON BEACH
posted by Greg Nog at 10:15 AM on June 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


fantastic! :D
posted by supermedusa at 10:17 AM on June 10, 2011


Yes. This is my second favorite kid today, after Doctor Who kid.
posted by you're a kitty! at 10:21 AM on June 10, 2011


Dance like nobody's watching. But do it with the confidence and enthusiasm of someone dancing for thousands of people.

I'm not sure why I even clicked on the link since it didn't seem like something I needed to see, but that was fun! I'm always surprised at what I end up loving around here.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 10:22 AM on June 10, 2011


If Madonna doesn't play this behind her during "Vogue" on a fifty-foot screen on her next tour, then she may as well just give up entirely and cede any claims of relevance to the next generation.

Robert Jeffrey, I salute you.
posted by Greg Nog at 10:23 AM on June 10, 2011 [12 favorites]


This video will replace in my mind every dim and regrettable memory of karaoke night.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:24 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I like how in his caption and also in his profile info, he seems incapable of writing Madonna's name without frenzied CAPS LOCK. He's a lifer, all right.
posted by hermitosis at 10:25 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Doctor Who Kid unembedded YT video.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:25 AM on June 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


is that a boy wearing a pink shirt? Was that allowed in the 1990s?
posted by philip-random at 10:27 AM on June 10, 2011


I defy all those conservative, brainwashing asshats to watch this and continue to claim that people can't be born gay!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:28 AM on June 10, 2011 [10 favorites]


Doctor Who Kid.

Methinks, they should use him at the beginning of each episode. "Previously on Dr. Who ... "
posted by philip-random at 10:29 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


This video makes me angry!

because I can't dance even that well at my age
posted by Poet_Lariat at 10:29 AM on June 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


is that a boy wearing a pink shirt? Was that allowed in the 1990s?

Sure, you don't remember Hypercolor?
posted by something something at 10:30 AM on June 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Pull out! Pull out! Pull out! Zoom in! Zoom in!

Goddamn, this was excellent.
posted by phaedon at 10:31 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


He absolutely nailed it.

I really liked Vogue in the summer of '91 too. I kinda wish I was more into dancing at the time.
posted by penduluum at 10:34 AM on June 10, 2011


I defy all those conservative, brainwashing asshats to watch this and continue to claim that people can't be born gay!

So, just because he's wearing pink and vogueing to Madonna, he's now immediately gay?
posted by philip-random at 10:34 AM on June 10, 2011


:) thanks
posted by infini at 10:36 AM on June 10, 2011


So, just because he's wearing pink and vogueing to Madonna, he's now immediately gay?

No, its because he already knows how to shake his booty and he's only nine
posted by infini at 10:37 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


In his profile he describes himself as "A twenty-nine year old screenwriter with a defining passion for MADONNA, DARIO ARGENTO, MARILYN CHAMBERS, & BETTE DAVIS!" (emphasis his). He's totally allowed to be straight, but I'm also totally allowed to draw my own conclusions.
posted by hermitosis at 10:37 AM on June 10, 2011 [13 favorites]


So, just because he's wearing pink and vogueing to Madonna, he's now immediately gay?

No, its because he already knows how to shake his booty and he's only nine


I couldn't have put it better. It's that he wears a pink shirt and Vogues to Madonna so damn well!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:38 AM on June 10, 2011


Great moves! Did you know, then?
posted by Renoroc at 10:40 AM on June 10, 2011


Happy children RULE. Not knowing the guy, I couldn't say whether he was a happy kid in general (or whether he's gay), but at this moment he was himself and he was happy, and that's what counts. I can't stand the song "I Hope You Dance" (too sappy), but this is what I think it means.
posted by gillyflower at 10:41 AM on June 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


This kid has better moves at nine than most people out dancing in their twenties. Rock it buddy.
posted by troublewithwolves at 10:41 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


A twenty-nine year old screenwriter with a defining passion for MADONNA, DARIO ARGENTO, MARILYN CHAMBERS, & BETTE DAVIS!

His youtube.
posted by oddman at 10:42 AM on June 10, 2011


This is Tracy Morgan kryptonite.
posted by phaedon at 10:43 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


This is so wonderful. Just ... words fail me. I am in love with this child.

And let me send some of that love to the videographer, too. Maybe they did those sequential screen grabs and crazy zooms to the beat for everyone, but somehow I don't think so. I think the editor put some care into this. I like to think that the editor working that booth in the summer of 1991 in (of all places!) New Hampshire took a look at that kid shaking his booty and thought, "yeah, I'm gonna make this special."
posted by minervous at 10:43 AM on June 10, 2011 [11 favorites]


Very rude, very gorgeous.
posted by tigrefacile at 10:53 AM on June 10, 2011


I defy all those conservative, brainwashing asshats to watch this and continue to claim that people can't be born gay!

No, its because he already knows how to shake his booty and he's only nine

I couldn't have put it better. It's that he wears a pink shirt and Vogues to Madonna so damn well!


Not to derail too much, but guys: I don't think this is as progressive a statement as you think it is.
posted by Think_Long at 10:56 AM on June 10, 2011 [10 favorites]


I'm completely blown away. This is beyond awesome.
posted by swift at 10:56 AM on June 10, 2011


That was better than I could have hoped for and this kid is my new hero. Mefi is like a box of chocolates...
posted by kinnakeet at 10:57 AM on June 10, 2011


The best part is that you can tell he'd been doing his Vogue dance for months. I can't imagine the look on his face when he realized that, yeah, his dream was finally coming true. He was going to vogue on camera, damn it, and he was going to NAIL IT.
posted by sugarfish at 10:58 AM on June 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Vogue owned.

If I had that confidence when I was that age, my life would've been easier.

(Now would be good too.)
posted by TheRedArmy at 11:02 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


If this had been a nine-year-old girl doing the same dance, the reaction would be AUGH HYPERSEXUALIZED CHILDREN WHERE ARE HER PARENTS.
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:12 AM on June 10, 2011 [13 favorites]


I don't think this is as progressive a statement as you think it is.

To hopefully put this derail to rest: He's nine. Pink shirt aside, that was the hypercolor era, he's a nine year old boy. His dance routine did not just happen spontaneously, it is rehearsed. He's got the words, the breaks, the turns, the changes, and the moves down. He has been replaying this song, studying it, experimenting with it, absorbing it for quite a while now. This would be a rehearsed routine for an adult, but he's a nine year old boy. He is unashamed, he is owning the song that he has worked for weeks in the mirror. While other boys, the gay ones, the straight ones, the ones that are neither or both, or who aren't even technically boys yet are out riding their bikes or playing with their dogs, he's in his room rewinding the video over and over.

Can I say with certainty that he is gay? Nope. Have I ever met an American male that could work a Madonna routine like this that was not a professional dancer or gay? No, I have not. I'm sure he's out there shaking it right now, I have not met him.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:12 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


You know who I love? This kid's parents. They took him to the casino, and paid for the screen time, and saved the video all these years. They encouraged all this, and for that, I love them.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:14 AM on June 10, 2011 [63 favorites]


Whether he's gay or not (though a 33-year-old man with a "defining passion" -- his words -- for Madonna and Bette Midler IN ALL CAPS is either gay or else a very "I don't a fuck" straight/bi man), I only wish I (as a nascent gay 9-year-old) had had the nerve and the balls to dance like that to, oh, I don't know ..... "Love Hangover"? "Never Can Say Goodbye"? "More More More"?

(And yeah, "Vogue" did own. Damn, Madonna, how was it that you were so good?)
posted by blucevalo at 11:17 AM on June 10, 2011


If this had been a nine-year-old girl doing the same dance, the reaction would be AUGH HYPERSEXUALIZED CHILDREN WHERE ARE HER PARENTS.

I thought about that before posting. I wound up going ahead because:

A) It's not really hypersexualized. His dancing is a little suggestive, but wouldn't even really rate it PG-13. I think a big difference is that he's wearing a tee-shirt and shorts -- the hyper-sexualization of girls' dance routines usually extends to their costumes, which imitate adult fashion trends. Which, incidentally, was part of the problem with the little Korean boy performing as Xtina that was posted recently. (Which I was also pretty okay with, incidentally.)

B) The video confounds expectations of gender performance in a way that I thought was fascinating, and is essentially the whole point for watching/posting/commenting. If it was just a girl dancing to Vogue from 1991, people wouldn't really care. (Maybe the equivalent would be something like a nine-year-old girl in 1991 throwing down some Color Me Badd, which would be just as entertaining to watch, IMO.)
posted by hermitosis at 11:29 AM on June 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


And if a 9 year old girl were shakin her booty like that? You can guarantee this would be a forum of the 'these parents should be shot for sexualizing their child like that' crowd
posted by spicynuts at 11:30 AM on June 10, 2011


that's what i get for not previewing
posted by spicynuts at 11:30 AM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


is that a boy wearing a pink shirt? Was that allowed in the 1990s?
posted by philip-random at 10:27 AM on June 10 [+] [!]


Are you kidding? A) it was still the 80s up until 1993 or so, and B) hot pink and neon green were the JAM. On shirts, and also on your jams. Radical hot pink jams, I had em.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:35 AM on June 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


STOP PLAYING WITH THE FUCKING ZOOM, YOU IDIOT.
posted by crunchland at 11:45 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Spectacular.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:01 PM on June 10, 2011


B) hot pink and neon green were the JAM.

Hell, yeah. I owned a couple of t-shirts that I wore to shreds the summer of '90. One was citron and the other neon fuchsia. It was another year or two before flannel took over.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:17 PM on June 10, 2011


That was so fantastic it made me cry a little. I want to track his parents down and hug them.

It's also weird to me that when I see pre-September 11 2001 footage of the New York skyline, with the WTC still there, I feel a kind of shock all over again, remembering that they're not there anymore. I watch a lot of Law & Order reruns, and this happens a lot.
posted by rtha at 12:28 PM on June 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Agree with MrMoonPie - lawd bless his parents for loving that their 9 y.o. could do this.

And yes, yes, yes, someone please show this to Madonna, & please, oh native of my hometowns of BayCity&Rochester, use this in your show.
posted by NorthernLite at 12:32 PM on June 10, 2011


The 80's ended in 1991.
posted by oddman at 12:35 PM on June 10, 2011


"I Adore Mi Amor" and "I'm Too Sexy" disagree.
posted by blucevalo at 12:45 PM on June 10, 2011


Sniff. Vimeo says the video is broken.

THAT'S why we can't have nice things around Metafilter.
posted by HeyAllie at 12:51 PM on June 10, 2011


Does the song seem pitched up a little bit?
posted by asockpuppet at 12:54 PM on June 10, 2011


Okay, it's working now. ::: cheers :::

Hermitosis, I thought I liked you before, but now I have a crush on you.
posted by HeyAllie at 12:56 PM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


You're featured on D-Listed!!!
posted by HeyAllie at 1:01 PM on June 10, 2011


I'm still getting: "Oops! Something broken. Please try again later!"
posted by ericb at 1:13 PM on June 10, 2011


Remember, around that time, Voguing was completely mainstream. I seem to recall the Star Search junior dance troupes were quite often Voguers vs. Voguers.

If it weren't for that abominable Macarena sweeping through and laming up every dancefloor, we'd all be Voguing right now.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:14 PM on June 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


I suspect that video is getting hammered. Just looking at the current stats:

June 9 -- 4,592
June 10 -- 156,000

Um, I guess one should keep trying.
posted by ericb at 1:17 PM on June 10, 2011


"Robert Jeffrey commented on ME AT NINE, PERFORMING TO MADONNA IN SUMMER '91!

BLESS YOU ALL!!!!!!! The number of people who see this video has nothing on the kindness and positivity you have all shown in response to it. I will thank each of you personally but I'm so overwhelmed that all I can do now is thank you collectively for the great joy your words have brought not only to me but also to the amazing parents who I was so blessed to be raised by. Calling them to share your words is something I will treasure forever, so know I mean this with every ounce of sincerity in my being when I say to all of you THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!!!!!! :) XOXOXOXOXO

posted by Feisty at 1:45 PM on June 10, 2011 [11 favorites]


If it weren't for that abominable Macarena sweeping through and laming up every dancefloor, we'd all be Voguing right now.

BRB, pitching an idea to Harry Turtledove.
posted by No-sword at 1:53 PM on June 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


You're featured on D-Listed!!!

It's not ME in the video... :)
posted by hermitosis at 2:04 PM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


It's not ME in the video... :)

Well darn. I was kind of hoping for a Sixth Sense ending to the thread .... And it was ME all along!
posted by Poet_Lariat at 2:36 PM on June 10, 2011


Wow! Totally blown away by this video. Awesome to the 9th power!
posted by Don92705 at 3:17 PM on June 10, 2011


aw, ffffff, what is with my hormones lately? I watched a little of the video, and had to turn it off because my eyes welled up. No, not because the little boy was dancing or wearing a pink shirt, or the terrible ZOOM IN / ZOOM OUT that was making me a tad ill, but because what I took away from it was that his parents had hung onto this tape forever, thus; that little boy is so loved.

and who wouldn't love the bejesus a little boy who can vogue like that?
posted by dabitch at 3:21 PM on June 10, 2011 [8 favorites]


Fantastic!! And have any of you been to Hampton Beach? it's New England's own Redneck Rivera. Bikers, tricked out pickup trucks, and mullets galore. Being familiar with the setting makes this video even more spectacular.
posted by emd3737 at 3:52 PM on June 10, 2011


his other vimeo video is super cute too. HE IS SO EXCITED.
posted by sweetkid at 4:32 PM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Best. Music video. Ever.
posted by Lisitasan at 5:20 PM on June 10, 2011


I just love imagining how many times this kid must have watched and studied the Vogue video to be able to do this. He pretty much deserves a degree of some kind.
posted by MadamM at 5:50 PM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


MrMoonPie: "You know who I love? This kid's parents."

The only thing that comes to mind is the absolutely hilarious SNL ad for Homocil.
posted by falameufilho at 6:56 PM on June 10, 2011


Whether the man is gay or not, the kid is absolutely rocking the fuck out of that song and having the time of his life.
posted by klangklangston at 7:07 PM on June 10, 2011


Finally got to watch the video. Splendid. Anderson Cooper just highlighted it on his AC360 television program. This is going viral rather quickly.
posted by ericb at 7:42 PM on June 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


2:00 - 2:05 is just...incredible.
posted by sweetkid at 10:09 PM on June 10, 2011


Super cute, and the second video is also really fun. It sounds from the second video like his dad works the booth? He was doing a mini-ad for them and said his dad was the videographer.
posted by Iteki at 4:56 AM on June 11, 2011


To stop the speculation, Robert was public online about his homosexuality nine years ago.
posted by Busy Old Fool at 5:05 AM on June 11, 2011


YouTube version.
posted by ericb at 9:44 AM on June 11, 2011


what the hell, ericb. those youtube comments, they're....

no, i can't believe it, it isn't possible! the youtube comments are.. positive... and supportive... and generally well-worded

WHAT DARK PORTAL HAVE YOU CRAWLED FROM, DRAGGING THIS BIZARRE ANTI-YOUTUBE WITH YOU, DEMON FROM ANOTHER WORLD
posted by tehloki at 2:40 PM on June 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


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