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June 15, 2011 11:19 AM   Subscribe

My Daguerreotype Boyfriend. Notables: Hermann Rorschach, Almanzo Wilder, Teddy Roosevelt, Robert Cornelius. More history crushes.
posted by katillathehun (66 comments total) 39 users marked this as a favorite

 
So there's zero historical information on the boyfriends at all? Just "woo, this dude is hot"?

Wow, Teddy was an even badder ass than I already thought, which was pretty bad ass.
posted by DU at 11:24 AM on June 15, 2011


I couldn't have been the only child who skimmed many chapters in The First Four Years looking for passages in which Almanzo and Laura Ingalls Wilder finally get to do it.
posted by hermitosis at 11:27 AM on June 15, 2011 [10 favorites]


HOLY TIME TRAVELING BRAD PITT RORSCHACH
posted by The Whelk at 11:27 AM on June 15, 2011 [20 favorites]


Franz Liszt
posted by Trurl at 11:27 AM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


Sometimes it's easy to forget that historical figures could get it, and often gave it, too.
posted by 2bucksplus at 11:30 AM on June 15, 2011


I've always had a huge crush on this version of Franz Schubert. Though I'm sure this version has a very nice personality.
posted by hermitosis at 11:30 AM on June 15, 2011 [4 favorites]


Strictly speaking this is the oldest history crush.
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 AM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Did this with the presidents a few years back. I decided that the hottest one was Franklin Pierce, which prompted my friend to make this for me.
posted by phunniemee at 11:34 AM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Most of what people now call daguerrotypes are actually ambrotypes or tintypes.
posted by fire&wings at 11:37 AM on June 15, 2011


Damn I'd like a piece of Teddy Roosevelt. If he wasn't, you know, a corpse and everything.
posted by lauratheexplorer at 11:37 AM on June 15, 2011


Teddy Roosevelt is still alive! I saw him in Brooklyn, riding around on his bike.
posted by anya32 at 11:39 AM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Speak softly and carry a big stick huge fucking adamantium handclaws.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 11:43 AM on June 15, 2011 [21 favorites]


How is it even possible that Phineas Gage is not on this list yet?

PS Team Almanzo Forever!
posted by peachfuzz at 11:46 AM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


How about some bangable dudes in history?
posted by amro at 11:53 AM on June 15, 2011


How about some Male Beauty in Art?
posted by hermitosis at 11:54 AM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


I found the writing on this site to be higher caliber than the usual. I saw this a few weeks back and enjoyed it a bit then moved on. One note jokes get old pretty quickly, but this is still an interesting note.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:54 AM on June 15, 2011


YES I was just coming to shout my outrage over the lack of Phineas Hotass Gage.

see also: Ezra Pound and Joseph Stalin, who both cause me some epic jewish guilt.
posted by elizardbits at 11:55 AM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


On one hand, Lewis Thornton Powell was a traitorous conspirator involved with the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

But on the other hand, this picture has him posing in awesome bondage gear. Sigh.

I've come back to that picture so many times since I first saw it (which, on preview, was on the site amro just mentioned.)

(before preview, I left the word 'back' out of the last sentence on first draft...which made it seem like I'd become far more familiar than I actually have been.)

posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:57 AM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


I see several people who look a lot like friends--this is fun. I don't see anyone who looks like me. Hm.
posted by maxwelton at 11:58 AM on June 15, 2011


My daguerreotype girlfriend, Laurie.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:59 AM on June 15, 2011


Ironically, Rorschach's facial hair appears to take the shape of an inkblot.
posted by schmod at 11:59 AM on June 15, 2011


I never knew Almonzo was such a hottie! Growing up, I couldn't understand why Laura married him, and kept imagining that anyone with the name "Almonzo" must have been very unattractive. Glad I was wrong.
posted by brina at 12:06 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oops. "Almanzo."
posted by brina at 12:07 PM on June 15, 2011


I just keep reminding myself that the guys here who weren't incinerated, blown to bits, drowned at sea, or left unburied are today about as handsome as piles of worm shit.

Now where's my cravat?
posted by carsonb at 12:07 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


See, I'm right not to smile in pictures.
posted by Bookhouse at 12:08 PM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


My personal history crush to end all history crushes, Soviet ace pilot Lilya Litvak. Sigh and double sigh.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:12 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ah, I knew someone would mention Stalin. Rowr.
posted by something something at 12:12 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


From Laura Ingalls Wilder Wikipedia entry:
Her teaching career and her own studies ended when she married Almanzo Wilder, whom she called Manly, on August 25, 1885, when she was eighteen and he was twenty-eight.

Now we know why...
posted by Skeptic at 12:16 PM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


I've always had a crush on Handy Smurf.
posted by Foam Pants at 12:17 PM on June 15, 2011


My latest historical (Bloomsbury inspired) crush is Duncan Grant. So dreamy!
posted by rabbitbookworm at 12:19 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Rorschach.

Rorschach.

Hmmmmm...
posted by Splunge at 12:24 PM on June 15, 2011


Cap Garland, the other very eligible young bachelor in Little House books, was no slouch either in the looks department.
posted by orange swan at 12:27 PM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


Gah, they all look like fucking hipsters.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:27 PM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


As a person guilty of looking at group shots of Civil War soldiers and sports teams on Shorpy to decide on which of the members I would have had a crush had I been alive then, I can get to this.
posted by jocelmeow at 12:36 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeeeessss, historical hotties!! I always wanted a time machine because there's just too many dudes that make me want to go back in time and bang them when they were young and smokin'.
posted by kkokkodalk at 12:38 PM on June 15, 2011


Is it me or did historical young people look older than today's? I mean, I wouldn't even card this dude for alcohol.
posted by desjardins at 12:58 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


this guys looks like a young viggo mortensen ... not that i wouldnt know or have a crush on him :D
posted by liza at 1:21 PM on June 15, 2011


Love that Dore photo. That was my profile pic on Facebook for a long time. Rocking that scarf big time.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:25 PM on June 15, 2011


My personal history crush to end all history crushes, Soviet ace pilot Lilya Litvak. Sigh and double sigh.

My band uses these Soviet Fighting women photos for our posters. We give 'em the Smiths treatment with one color. Look great.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:26 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


I approve of any meme that makes historical people like us and not strange and alien. "My daguerrotype boyfriend" passes the test with flying colors.
posted by immlass at 1:34 PM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Someday my prints will come...
posted by chavenet at 1:39 PM on June 15, 2011 [12 favorites]


I can't really put my finger on why this site is so enjoyable, even more so than others made in a similar vein. If only there were more than 3 pages' worth!
posted by PepperMax at 1:41 PM on June 15, 2011


this guy looks like a young viggo mortensen

I was thinking Woody Harrelson.
posted by Huck500 at 2:35 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


How is it even possible that Phineas Gage is not on this list yet?

He will tamp you until you explode into his face.
posted by benzenedream at 3:01 PM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lewis Powell is my daguerreotype boyfriend. Apparently I am still housing my inner 20 year old, who prefers her overnight guests to both look like bastards and be bastards. #TwentyYearsofTherapyFail
posted by DarlingBri at 3:09 PM on June 15, 2011 [4 favorites]


I found my history crush on the battlefield in Gettysburg. Lt. Alonzo H. Cushing
posted by bayliss at 3:19 PM on June 15, 2011


I can't access Tumblr from work, but I hope Isambard Kingdom Brunel is in there somewhere.
posted by elsietheeel at 3:24 PM on June 15, 2011


DarlingBri, I get that feeling when I look at the Ezra Pound photo that elizardbits posted.
posted by epersonae at 3:30 PM on June 15, 2011


Cool. Lapham's Quarterly has a tumblr.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:33 PM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Great post, I'd almost forgotten about my teenage infatuation with Layton Clark. I found a picture of him in Local News when I was browsing for photojournalism during my Fine Art Foundation course, and it was incredibly shallow love at first sight. I had bad photocopies of that picture stuck to my bedroom wall for months.
posted by emperor.seamus at 3:42 PM on June 15, 2011


I mean, not that it's actually a daguerreotype, but the spirit of finding hot guys in history pleases me.
posted by emperor.seamus at 3:55 PM on June 15, 2011


Rutherford B Hayes was very tasty before the beard. Searching in vain for proof of this.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 3:58 PM on June 15, 2011


Rutherford B Hayes when he was younger.
posted by katillathehun at 4:39 PM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


I once named a fish Rutherford. He died.
posted by jonmc at 4:50 PM on June 15, 2011


Ooh yeah, so into Robert Cornelius. I'm glad photography was invented in time to capture that hotness for posterity.
posted by MadamM at 4:57 PM on June 15, 2011


W.B. Yeats is My Platinotype Boyfriend (Who Ignores Me Because He's Still Busy Pining Obsessively After Maud Gonne). Come, W.B., moan to me about girls not appreciating "nice guys" while you rest your angstily tousled head on my shoulder!
posted by nicebookrack at 5:03 PM on June 15, 2011


Who Ignores Me Because He's Still Busy Pining Obsessively After Maud Gonne

but she's gonne daddy gone, love is gonne...
posted by jonmc at 5:16 PM on June 15, 2011


Almanzo Wilder reminds me of Jude Law.
posted by orange swan at 5:25 PM on June 15, 2011


but she's gonne daddy gone, love is gonne...

you got a new friend, well I got homies, but in the end it's still so lonely

(you wait a couple months then you gonna see, you'll never find nobody better than me)

back to semi-on-topic: Gonne's onetime husband John MacBride had a wicked moustache workin' for him, but sadly little else
posted by nicebookrack at 5:45 PM on June 15, 2011


Ah, finally an appropriate place to confess about my longstanding unrequited crush on Lev Vygotsky, who I first spotted in a psych textbook years ago.
posted by salomesalami at 8:30 PM on June 15, 2011


orange swan: Cap Garland, the other very eligible young bachelor in Little House books, was no slouch either in the looks department.

You just made my wife very happy (that Cap Garland was real, and that he was handsome). She's still sad that Mr. Edwards wasn't real (but Edmund Mason was real).
posted by filthy light thief at 8:52 PM on June 15, 2011


I wanna go back to be warden in that Irish prison. And then I want history changed to send young Winston Churchill there. LOL!
posted by Goofyy at 11:30 PM on June 15, 2011


Ha ha, thirding Lewis Powell! Something about him reminds me of Truman Capote's young dreaminess.
posted by redsparkler at 12:21 AM on June 16, 2011


Young Brahms definitely belongs to that blog, before he lost his figure and half of his face to his beard.
posted by of strange foe at 10:32 AM on June 16, 2011


I developed a crush on Rollo Beck while researching his bird killing skills. He was really really good - most of the California Academy of Sciences seabird collection is his, and a sizeable portion of the American Museum of Natural History. The best part of this research was that I got to go through all the personal materials that the museum had including adorable letters to his wife asking her to buy opera tickets and hoping that his boss wouldn't catch him slacking off.

I've almost forgiven him for making a subspecies of the Galapagos tortoise extinct.
posted by hydrobatidae at 12:05 PM on June 16, 2011


I've almost forgiven him for making a subspecies of the Galapagos tortoise
extinct.


The wiping out of whole species of tortoises or whole tribes of native Americans is just the beginning; unfortunately we are all going to have to forgive our daguerreotype boyfriends for a whole host of things such as being sexist and racist and stinking of tobacco and reeking of body odor and having bad teeth.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:27 PM on June 16, 2011


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