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July 14, 2011 2:19 AM   Subscribe

Carp Attack! SLYT, 1.13.
posted by bwg (39 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
I for one welcome etc.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 2:30 AM on July 14, 2011


I just hope some of the commenters here can avoid carping on this.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:33 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


So if a fish commits suicide by jumping into your boat does it count against your daily limit?
posted by Mitheral at 2:36 AM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


These are silver carp and they're known for this sort of behavior. Considering the fish can grow to 45kg/100lbs, having one that size knock you upside the head isn't so much a laughing matter. What's worse, is that silver carp are a variety of asian carp, an invasive species in the US, due to their fast breeding, and huge appetites. The silver lining is that they're good eating, with a white, firm flesh that some think tastes like cod. And look how easy they are to catch.
posted by crunchland at 2:36 AM on July 14, 2011 [7 favorites]




Yeah. All those people who laughed at the carp in the old versions of Dwarf Fortress. Turns out the joke's on you.
posted by howfar at 2:44 AM on July 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


Ah, but some are brave enough to take on the invaders hand-to-hand. (warning: if there was anything you shouldn't try at home, this would be it)
posted by Ella Fynoe at 2:51 AM on July 14, 2011 [5 favorites]


My friend's son wants to go fishing in this canal since I showed him the video. Does anyone know exactly where this is?
posted by crataegus at 2:54 AM on July 14, 2011


Probably anywhere along the Mississippi Delta.
posted by crunchland at 3:01 AM on July 14, 2011


I would have thought about five fish of that size would be the carrying capacity of such a small body of water. Wild.
posted by maxwelton at 3:03 AM on July 14, 2011


crataegus: "My friend's son wants to go fishing in this canal since I showed him the video. Does anyone know exactly where this is?"

Spoon River, according to the text posted with the video.
posted by bwg at 3:07 AM on July 14, 2011


Yep, it's all fun and games until one jumps in front of you when you're going 40 miles per hour. And don't get me started on the fact that these damn things are about to invade the Great Lakes, destroy the fishery and, evidently, kill many of us in the process!
posted by tomswift at 3:17 AM on July 14, 2011


Throw them back!
posted by JtJ at 3:17 AM on July 14, 2011


Where are Elmer, Herman, Bert, Tom and Charley,
The weak of will, the strong of arm, the clown, the boozer, the fighter?
All, all are sleeping on the hill.
One caught carp fever,
One was burned in a carp mine,
One was killed in a brawl over carp,
One died in a jail full of carp,
One fell from a bridge toiling for children and wife and carp—
All, all are sleeping, sleeping, sleeping on a hill of carp.
posted by pracowity at 3:17 AM on July 14, 2011


IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL IT STOPS BEING FUN AND GAMES AT WHICH POINT IT'S NO LONGER FUN AND GAMES UNLESS YOU'RE SOMEWHERE ELSE IN WHICH CASE THE FUN AND GAMES MAY CONTINUE
posted by Sebmojo at 3:55 AM on July 14, 2011 [4 favorites]


Those are Asian Carp, which is a massively destructive invasive species. They've been slowly working their way up the Mississippi River, and are now as far north as Chicago - the only thing keeping them out of the Great Lakes is a little electrified gate that scares them away from the entrance of the canal to the lake. Once they're in the lakes, it's pretty much over for the ecosystem - they muscle out the baitfish larger fish rely on, by going after the stuff the little fish usually eat. There is no predator to keep it in check. The lakes will just be carp, from top to bottom.

So, no, don't throw them back.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:36 AM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]


MAGICARP USE YOUR SPLASH ATTACK!
posted by rebent at 5:00 AM on July 14, 2011


I know that invasive species are a problem, especially when they get as big a toehold (finhold?) as these have. I'd be happy to do my part to keep the numbers down, preferably by pan-frying them with olive oil and garlic.

Still, there is something delightfully surreal about watching a boat putter down a tiny canal and kick up a swarm of giant leaping fish. I can't stop laughing at this video.

So long and thanks for all the---OW JESUS CHRIST NOW I CAN'T SEE
posted by cmyk at 5:24 AM on July 14, 2011


Fun fact: for years, the Alabama Department of Conservation and Natural Resources was actually ENCOURAGING people to stock ponds, especially catfish ponds, with silver and bighead carp for algae control. So a few rainy seasons and burst levees later, the damn things are taking over, displacing the native bass, crappie, and shad; and threatening freshwater mollusks.

So now the department's policy is this, and I quote:
Due to the relative lack of information concerning Asian carp in Alabama’s rivers any information that anglers can provide on exotic Asian carp captured would be very important. If you catch a strange looking carp, please contact your local District Fisheries Office immediately.
Grrr.

/angry angler
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:45 AM on July 14, 2011


So if a fish commits suicide by jumping into your boat does it count against your daily limit?

I don't think there is a daily limit on carp.
posted by desjardins at 6:31 AM on July 14, 2011


...and they can surprisingly live for centuries.
posted by rmmcclay at 6:43 AM on July 14, 2011


Thanks, crunchland. We had a guy drown a few years back on one of our rivers, and the explanation most people decided on (being that he was an experienced fisherman, boatsman, and swimmer) was that he was knocked upside the head by a jumping carp, went unconscious and in the water, and drowned.

All I could think of watching this video (okay, most of) was how those kids should be wearing life jackets.

This may be the first 'responsible adult' moment of my life. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:51 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


I picture them all with little blow darts
posted by stormpooper at 6:53 AM on July 14, 2011


Am I the only one reminded of Bert and Ernie fishing on Sesame Street?

"Heeeeeeere FISHY FISHY FISHY!"
posted by antifuse at 7:07 AM on July 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


preferably by pan-frying them with olive oil and garlic. --- the one downside about eating these monster fish is that they've apparently got a complicated bone structure, so unlike, say, a trout, whose delicate bones lift out completely leaving a great boneless filet, these bad boys have bones inside their bones or something.
posted by crunchland at 7:30 AM on July 14, 2011


Think outside the box, people.
posted by Optamystic at 7:40 AM on July 14, 2011


I picture them all with little blow darts

First thing I thought of was Apocalypse Now and the arrow attack.

I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable plugged straight into Kurtz.

posted by phirleh at 7:41 AM on July 14, 2011


Asian Carp! KILL THEM ALL.

I don't understand why we don't have a nickel bounty on these damned things.
I want to see riverboats with thirty-foot horizontal nets trawling up and down the canals, turning these bastards into fertilizers. I mean, they jump out of the water for chrissake! How hard can it possibly be to kill them all?
posted by Tennyson D'San at 8:03 AM on July 14, 2011


I don't understand why we don't have a nickel bounty on these damned things. --- According to NPR, they fetch about 14 cents a pound, or $4 a fish, and they're a delicacy in China. Despite the havoc they cause to our native fish, I'm going to bet that people will opt to embrace them for trade reasons.
posted by crunchland at 8:16 AM on July 14, 2011


14 cents a pound is some pretty cheap protein, I'm surprised there isn't more commercial fishing happening. I wonder if a 100 years from now we'll being looking back with envy to a time when carp were so numerous they would jump right into the boat.
posted by Mitheral at 10:39 AM on July 14, 2011


Holy carp that was cool.
posted by ShutterBun at 10:46 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]


Considering the fish can grow to 45kg/100lbs, having one that size knock you upside the head isn't so much a laughing matter.

It is for everyone else, though.
posted by ShutterBun at 10:47 AM on July 14, 2011 [3 favorites]


> Considering the fish can grow to 45kg/100lbs, having one that
> size knock you upside the head isn't so much a laughing matter.

It is for everyone else, though.


Tragedy is when a 100lb fish hits me in the head.
Comedy is when a 100lb fish hits you in the head.
posted by rusty at 11:11 AM on July 14, 2011


Holy shit, someone get some fishwheels on those thing.
posted by mrzarquon at 12:02 PM on July 14, 2011


How hard can it possibly be to kill them all?

Not hard at all if you don't mind killing all of the other fish in the water. The hard part is selectively killing Asian carp.
posted by pracowity at 2:15 PM on July 14, 2011


...and they can surprisingly live for centuries.

What, in your boat? Woudln't they get hungry?
posted by Sebmojo at 2:49 PM on July 14, 2011


oh, not this kind of karp attack.
posted by special agent conrad uno at 3:02 PM on July 14, 2011


stormpooper: "I picture them all with little blow darts"

The fish or the kids? o.0
posted by deborah at 6:12 PM on July 14, 2011


The hard part is selectively killing Asian carp.

Apparently not. They're the ones that JUMP OUT OF THE WATER RIGHT INTO YOUR BOAT.




:-P
posted by 1000monkeys at 10:58 PM on July 14, 2011


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