Weird Soda Review

August 7, 2011 3:55 PM

Weird Soda Review Unusual sodas and colas, ranked by quaffabilty.

I love weird and unusual sodas, but what wins me over is the writing:

Zevia Cream Soda: The vanilla is quite strong, almost too much so. This is not a subtle cream soda; this vanilla steps up in a ten-gallon Stetson, says "Howdy", and sells you a used Ford.

Abali Original Flavor Yogurt Soda: I didn't know you could hear someone shuddering with horror. You can.

For those of you who are bacon-obsessed, his most recent posting describes Bacon Cream Soda

posted by Deathalicious (48 comments total)

Neat site! I want him to try Basil Seed Soda: sweet, slimy, looks just like frog eggs.
posted by Paragon at 4:03 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

So even if you take nothing else away from this post, know this: Torani, those people who make all those Italian flavor syrups you can put in your coffee, have introduced a bacon flavor.

Neat site! I want him to try Basil Seed Soda: sweet, slimy, looks just like frog eggs.

Oh gosh, I tried that once. I guess I don't understand how someone could try that and say, "You know what? We should really mass-produce this."
posted by Deathalicious at 4:05 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

Neat site! I want him to try Basil Seed Soda: sweet, slimy, looks just like frog eggs.

I kind of like Basil Seed Soda, and I pretty much hate soda. The Bacon Cream Soda sounds absolutely beyond disgusting. Like the worst breakfast ever, made into a soda.

It made me glad that I gave up soda.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:08 PM on August 7, 2011

The basil seed drink was definitely given to people as a joke during my high school drama club's New York City field trip.
posted by HeroZero at 4:09 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

Thanks for this! It's making me nostalgic for Josh Allen and Kevin Fanning's long defunct beverage review site The Knowledge For Thirst. I recommend dipping into their archives for crazy tipples and pithy hilarity.

If you like soda pop obsessives, you should also check out this little video about Galco's Soda Pop Stop.
posted by hot soup girl at 4:11 PM on August 7, 2011 [4 favorites]

Maybe that's their market niche? Pranksters? I drank one on a dare from my older brother. I would not drink it again.
posted by Paragon at 4:11 PM on August 7, 2011

Fans of Dr.Brown's Cel-Ray soda are an exclusive club.

It is a siren's call. I know it is part repulsive, part fascinating, part delicious. But I gladly crash myself against those rocks every time.
posted by munchingzombie at 4:12 PM on August 7, 2011 [4 favorites]

Marry, quaff, or swill?
posted by Sys Rq at 4:20 PM on August 7, 2011

Cel-Ray isn't bad, even Manhattan Special I can drink, but I will not drink Malta.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:22 PM on August 7, 2011

I have a friend who seeks out unusual soda flavors. This is a guy who adds Tabasco to his coffee soda so the bacon cream one will float his boat. Me? I will stick to copious amounts of diet coke and caffeine free after 6pm.
posted by AugustWest at 4:23 PM on August 7, 2011

Since when is Cream Soda weird? I thought that it was a pretty standard flavor.
posted by octothorpe at 4:25 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fans of Dr.Brown's Cel-Ray soda are an exclusive club.

I'm a member. What else are you supposed to drink at a deli?
posted by Deathalicious at 4:39 PM on August 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

Since when is Cream Soda weird? I thought that it was a pretty standard flavor.

Zevia is a sugar-free soda sweetened with stevia, and as the "quaffmaster" explains: one might even say that producing sweetness without sugar is inherently a Weirdness-enhancing endeavor. But yes, they do review non-weird sodas as well: Pepsi Throwback.
posted by Deathalicious at 4:48 PM on August 7, 2011

I found some Brazilian guarana soda in my corner store this weekend. It was good -- sort of like a cream soda with a herbal edge; I was expecting more of a cola flavour.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 4:57 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

When my GF and I visit an Asian grocery store, I always insist on picking up the most random soft drink that I can find. Most are some version of syrupy sweet plus an odd flavor, but several - Wax Gourd Drink, Grass Jelly Drink - were so incredibly weird they blew my mind (and taste buds). Mmmmmm...grass jelly...
posted by googly at 5:00 PM on August 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

There's a soda here in Korea that's called McCol and the best description I can muster is "Salty Coca Cola, plus barley"
posted by GilloD at 5:36 PM on August 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

Why on earth doesn't the site have pictures of how the soda looks in the glass?
posted by ian1977 at 5:49 PM on August 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

Nothing goes with corned beef on rye like a cold Cel-Ray. And somehow, I believe this despite (a) hardly ever drinking soda and (b) absolutely despising celery.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:49 PM on August 7, 2011 [3 favorites]

This is an upsetting beverage.
posted by valkyryn at 5:54 PM on August 7, 2011

Fantastic! I'm also an aficionado of the odd, like Pepsi Jazz, which I only noticed when I was traveling in Russia.

I was going to complain about the lack of review of a weird mango + Tapatio energy drink I've recently run across, but that's what Energy Fiend is for.


valkyryn: This is an upsetting beverage.

Makes me think of Orbitz, except the weird little floating things are coconut instead of ... small edible balls.
posted by filthy light thief at 5:58 PM on August 7, 2011

@Ad hominem;

I have grown to love Malta, it’s mostly the only soda I ever drink (I also enjoy strong ginger ales occasionally). Malta was definitely an acquired taste for me, one of those "that’s awful, let me try it again" things. Vita Malt with ginger, mmmmmmm...
posted by bongo_x at 6:03 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

Glad to see they favorably reviewed Red Ribbon Cherry Supreme from Natrona Bottling Company.. Great sodas from a litle company in Natrona, PA.
posted by Shike at 6:03 PM on August 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

I've always wanted to make my own soda. I see they have some kits to do so now, but where can I figure out how to really dig in and make my own syrups and not just prepackaged kits of flavoring? How do I learn to become a "mixologist"?
posted by symbioid at 6:08 PM on August 7, 2011

Great little documentary about The Natrona Bottling Company.
posted by octothorpe at 6:25 PM on August 7, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm really pleased to see Ironbeer and Materva on the "Quaffiest" list, not only because they are my favorites, but also because they are further evidence that Cubans are the finest soda makers in the world (see also: Jupiña). It's possible that Cubans are even better at making soda than they are at making cigars (not that I would know, not being a cigar smoker), but it should not be surprising considering that it's an island covered in sugar cane farms.

Before the revolution, Coca Cola had five bottling plants in Cuba, all of them run by future Coca Cola CEO Roberto Goizueta. When my father was a young scamp in Havana he and his friends would break into the local factory and roam around looking for free samples. Instead of barbed wire on top of the brick walls there were broken bottles embedded in a layer of mortar at the top, which could be outsmarted by elementary school children with thick blankets.

There was also the time my dad tried to steal a sleeping penguin from the Miami Zoo when he was a little older, but that is a story for another time.

In summary -
Cubans are good at: soda making, cigar making (unconfirmed), scampery
Cubans are bad at: bottling factory security
posted by Alison at 6:28 PM on August 7, 2011 [11 favorites]

Mr. Q Cumber gave that site the schmoopy.
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:28 PM on August 7, 2011

Very tempted to send him some Maine Root sodas, as they have a blueberry and a pumpkin pie which I have been afraid to try. Their sarsaparilla is quite good and their ginger beer is nice if you sip it Very. Slowly.

(Pumpkin Pie does not seem to be on the website at the moment. Maybe it's seasonal? And where can I buy those yummy sounding lemonades?)
posted by maryr at 6:29 PM on August 7, 2011

We need to ship these people some Irn Bru, stat. (Made in Scotland from girders.)
posted by DarlingBri at 6:38 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

octothorpe, Thank you. I love Rick's videos, and hadn't seen that one. I'm from the AK Valley, and it's nice to see a thriving business of any kind there these days.
posted by Shike at 6:55 PM on August 7, 2011

I was absolutely shocked that they didn't review Irn Bru. My favorite Irn Bru moment was finding it in Russia, with the Irn Bru spelled out in Cyrillic (which I learned slightly for the purposes of the trip and then promptly forgot.) Irn Bru always reminds me of the Champagne Cola family of Latin American sodas.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:59 PM on August 7, 2011

For those who missed the chance to try Orbitz (mentioned above), this review is pretty good.

For something good, on the other hand, if you are in the southeast you might come across some Blenheim's ginger ale.
posted by TedW at 7:04 PM on August 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

Fans of Dr.Brown's Cel-Ray soda are an exclusive club.
So are serial killers.
posted by horsemuth at 7:42 PM on August 7, 2011

Good writing, but if you don't like Cel-Ray and Malta, you don't like soda. Here's my old review of Malta Goya from the Boston Phoenix.
posted by escabeche at 7:55 PM on August 7, 2011

Also, one time in college we had a party and put grass jelly drink in the punch. Don't do that without warning people, they don't like it.
posted by escabeche at 7:55 PM on August 7, 2011

Never heard of Irn Bru, Death. Where would I see it in the States? (I love supermarkets and go to the local Asian markets reasonably often and my fav supermarket has a whole Goya aisle. I go to Russian markets on occaision and Armenian ones a bit more often.)

Also, a dorm mate bought a six pack of Malta Goya on sale at one point in college. It is terrible. It's like the Manischewitz of non-alcoholic beers, but it's a soda. The only other things that met with such universal disgust and stuck in the memory like that were durian (still smelled through two garbage bags) and that one time I made scones with baking soda instead of powder (mmm, delicious scones! nope, appears to be cakes of soap).
posted by maryr at 8:15 PM on August 7, 2011

...We didn't drink much in my dorm. We baked a lot of cookies though.
posted by maryr at 8:15 PM on August 7, 2011

Never heard of Irn Bru, Death. Where would I see it in the States? (I love supermarkets and go to the local Asian markets reasonably often and my fav supermarket has a whole Goya aisle. I go to Russian markets on occaision and Armenian ones a bit more often.)

No idea. I've never drunk it in the States that I recall. I studied in the UK for a year so I was able to drink it often there.

The best selection of weird sodas in Philadelphia, in my opinion, is the ShopRite in Cheltenham. Mostly Latin American sodas, but also some of those freaky blue ones (and, of course, pineapple).

If you order delivery in the Germantown area (and I'm sure this probably applies to North Philly in general) you should find out if they have fruit punch soda. You haven't really experienced corn syrup, artificial flavorings and red dye until you've experienced it with bubbles.
posted by Deathalicious at 8:33 PM on August 7, 2011

Irn-Bru distributers in the US.
posted by octothorpe at 8:34 PM on August 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

Most of these sodas don't strike me as weird. Is ginger beer really "weird" to Americans?
posted by ethnomethodologist at 8:38 PM on August 7, 2011

Not really, although some are weirder than others. It isn't a routine supermarket drink either, though.
posted by maryr at 9:13 PM on August 7, 2011

I followed the links from the Thai sweet basil seed soda page. You can buy the seeds and make your own. Look, they have a picture of the packet. Please, think what word you would least like to associate with your slimy, seed-filled drink? Yes, now you too can knock back a shot of Cock juice.
posted by Joe in Australia at 9:53 PM on August 7, 2011

Most of these sodas don't strike me as weird. Is ginger beer really "weird" to Americans?

It's uncommon, and almost impossible to find in anything but teeny-tiny bottles. Weak-as-piss ginger ale, on the other hand, is criminally common. (On behalf of Canada, sorry about that, everybody. Here, try this instead.)
posted by Sys Rq at 10:13 PM on August 7, 2011

There is only one true soda, and its name is Moxie.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:32 PM on August 7, 2011 [3 favorites]

I haven't checked but I wonder if he's tried Vernor's Ginger Ale. Best ginger ale made.
posted by Splunge at 3:11 AM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ah, so he did.
posted by Splunge at 3:21 AM on August 8, 2011

Irn Bru tastes just like Goya brand Cola Champagne, which you can probably find much more easily here in the US. I understand that Irn Bru is nutso caffeinated, though, which Cola Champagne isn't. Anyway, the answer is: like bubblegum-flavored cream soda, plus it wasn't quite lethally sweet so they added an extra spoonful of HFCS. Worth trying once.

I love basil seed drink, though. It's fun.
posted by lumpley at 8:31 AM on August 8, 2011

High fructose corn syrup my arse. No Scottish outfit would add anything so namby-pamby as fake sugar.

Or anything that tastes like cream soda, come to think of it, since AG Barr is Scotland's largest seller of that too. And [clear, fizzy] lemonade.

The quinine and massive iron content makes it taste slightly metallic. Which is rather the point.

No clue what the hell lumpley's on about honestly.
posted by genghis at 8:51 PM on August 11, 2011

See also Delicious Sparkling Temperance Drinks. Best feature is their listing of dozens (hundreds?) of root beers, ordered by score.
posted by Deathalicious at 9:29 AM on August 18, 2011