"Sometimes I can still sleep it off, my fear."Apropos Brodkey's fear of death, Edmund White has a slightly bitchy anecdote about the same in his recent City Boy:
"Of course it probably helped that Harold went to almost every literary party and spent hours on the phone every day with Don DeLillo, Harold Bloom, Dennis Donoghue. DeLillo told him the way to stop worrying about death was to watch a lot of television."posted by octobersurprise at 7:17 AM on August 24, 2011
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Sometimes I can still sleep it off, my fear. My dreams are gentle now even when they are about being mugged, robbed and knocked down, even when I am pressing my car key into a bit of yielding earth. But often in the afternoons I wake after a nap with an awful sense of its being over and that it never meant much; I never had a life. The valuable sweetness and the hard work are infected by the fact of death: they no longer seem to have been so wonderful, but they are all I had. And then I want to be comforted. I want my old, unthreatening forms of silence, and comedy-and-cowardice. I want breath and stories and the world.
Wow.
Thanks for the post, hadn't come across Brodkey before.
posted by rsanheim at 9:30 PM on August 23, 2011 [1 favorite]