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DAMN THAT DOT
August 27, 2011 9:35 AM   Subscribe

Kiwi The Cockatoo Vs The Laser Pointer

Bonus Kiwi: Bird Bath
posted by The Whelk (51 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
Pull the trigger already. Tease!
posted by cjorgensen at 9:43 AM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Those lightning quick reflexes are what makes the cockatoo such a deadly predator in the wild.
posted by orme at 9:51 AM on August 27, 2011 [30 favorites]


"He has the reflexes of a cockatoo" my grandfather always said...
posted by zombieflanders at 10:04 AM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Birds: The Prequal. "Ever wonder what set them off?"
posted by Windigo at 10:07 AM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Those lightning quick reflexes are what makes the cockatoo such a deadly predator in the wild.

And account for some of my scars.
posted by not that girl at 10:08 AM on August 27, 2011


There is a moment toward the end when Kiwi picked up her foot and shook it (maybe rattled it against her beak). I like to imagine she was giving the dot the finger.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:09 AM on August 27, 2011


People assume that fairies don't exist. They used to, but went extinct -- they were all eaten by cats and birds.
posted by JHarris at 10:10 AM on August 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Holy shit, I've never seen a bird look quite so much like a terrifying dinosaur.
posted by ChuraChura at 10:16 AM on August 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Cats : Cockatoos :: Fast Zombies : Slow Zombies. Both will tear your shit up but with the cockatoo you have the added bonus of seeing your doom in slow motion. Also like zombies, they live forever.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:21 AM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


My cousin has a border collie cross that is berserk for laser pointers. It lies on the ground, staring at the drawer were the pointer is kept, and whines. It's like dog crack.
posted by Decimask at 10:24 AM on August 27, 2011 [8 favorites]


Oh dinosaurs, how far you've fallen.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 10:24 AM on August 27, 2011 [16 favorites]


I'm surprised they're so much slower than cats on those things. Also, haha, thsmchnekllsfascists, fantastic comment. Imagine a trex with laser pointer.
posted by sweetkid at 10:25 AM on August 27, 2011


Oh dinosaurs, how far you've fallen.

Did the dinosaurs have people to feed them, clean up after them, and amuse them? This is the plan! Why do you think they let mammals get so far?
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:26 AM on August 27, 2011 [6 favorites]


Oh dinosaurs, how far you've risen.
posted by cthuljew at 10:33 AM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've never seen a bird look quite so much like a terrifying dinosaur.

And this is precisely the reason why it's perfectly fine for human beings to eat fowl. Because they are just tiny little mindless dinosaurs that would just as soon eat you as chase around a glowing red dot.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:41 AM on August 27, 2011


It's weird that most psittacines have twitchy-fast birdlike responses but cockatoos move so slowly and deliberately.
posted by hattifattener at 10:48 AM on August 27, 2011


ahhhhhh munnnnnnnaaaahhh eeeeeeeechoooooooooooo
posted by bleep at 11:03 AM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


Note to self: add laserpointer to go-bag in case of velociraptor attack.
posted by bonehead at 11:24 AM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


It's weird that most psittacines have twitchy-fast birdlike responses but cockatoos move so slowly and deliberately.

They can do both. It is fun to watch one doing this kind of slow, thoughtful thing.
posted by not that girl at 11:35 AM on August 27, 2011


cute thing or CUTEST THING?
posted by The Whelk at 11:49 AM on August 27, 2011 [7 favorites]


Because they are just tiny little mindless dinosaurs that would just as soon eat you as chase around a glowing red dot.

By this argument we should also eat cats and babies.
posted by elizardbits at 11:55 AM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


By this argument we should also eat cats and babies.

I could get behind this kind of modest proposal.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 12:02 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


A birdie and a kitty
posted by The Whelk at 12:13 PM on August 27, 2011 [3 favorites]


ONWARD STEED!
posted by The Whelk at 12:14 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey, quit moderating your own thread.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:15 PM on August 27, 2011


I seriously cannot see how this is funny.
posted by Meatafoecure at 12:17 PM on August 27, 2011


I strongly endorse this use of laser technology.
posted by wowbobwow at 12:25 PM on August 27, 2011


The bird bath link was physically painful to watch. Oh why did the lady give them water for a bath inside? On her kitchen counter?! Oh my god, that's their bread board - a wooden bread board - and that filthy bird is shaking water all over. How will they ever be able to eat from that kitchen again?!

Seriously, I had to turn it off. Reminded me of that lady in my old neighbourhood who was always lovely and who always wanted to give us treats like ice cream but her house and bowls and glasses were lined with cat hair. *shudder*
posted by mosessis at 12:31 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was all, "awww, cute confused bird!" until I looked at THE FEET SWEET JESUS THE FEET
posted by scody at 12:55 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was all, "awww, cute confused bird!" until I looked at THE FEET SWEET JESUS THE FEET

I love parrot feet! They're so warm and soft and velvety....
posted by adso at 1:51 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


How will they ever be able to eat from that kitchen again?!

Well, they eat dead animals and prepare them in their kitchen. I don't see how a live one is much different.
posted by Malice at 1:55 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


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???
posted by thehmsbeagle at 1:57 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


No doubt someone distracts him with a laser pointer, and he chases after it. You can distract Russell Crowe for hours that way.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:23 PM on August 27, 2011 [11 favorites]


It's how Ridley Scott managed to finish Robin Hood.

"Y'know Ridley, I think my character would work much better as a Syrian fishmonger. Let's make some changes to the... Hey, red dot!"
posted by Kevin Street at 2:30 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


Imagine a trex with laser pointer.

Suddenly occurred to me that the best defense in a new Jurassic Park movie might very well be the laser pointer. I could totally see the roomful of velociraptors being distracted into chasing the little red dot, while you quietly made for the exit and then slammed the door shut.
posted by Malor at 2:46 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]


This seems cruel and stress inducing for the bird.
posted by empath at 3:17 PM on August 27, 2011


Birds are weird. My wife has owned a small flock since the day I met her, which at one point included two different species of toucanets and an exotic south American mockingbird. Today it's one Yellow-Headed Amazon and a few geriatric conures. Birds are capable of amazing affection, but also of an intensity of calculation for long periods that would drive a mammal mad. Birds are capable of feats of intellectual reasoning that seem far beyond their pea-sized brains; several tests have gauged Amazon parrots as being smarter than cats. Yet in other ways their behavior is inexorably pre-wired in ways it isn't for cats and humans; no matter how much it dislikes your intentions a parrot is helpless against the step-up reflex.
posted by localroger at 3:55 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]


Sorry, what is the "step-up reflex"?
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:34 PM on August 27, 2011


For the next two weeks, insert your hand into the cage several times a day—but this time, hold a perch or stick in your hand. Your goal: getting the bird to step onto the perch.

When the bird gets used to the perch in your hand, start getting him to step onto it. Hold it at a right angle to the bird’s body and gently nudge him in the chest. This will trigger his “step up” reflex.

posted by The Whelk at 4:53 PM on August 27, 2011


Oh! Ok. I had a pair of budgies as a kid that did that and I didn't even train them to do so. Maybe the breeders do it.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 4:55 PM on August 27, 2011


Birds are weird too.
posted by NoraReed at 6:08 PM on August 27, 2011


Living with my Senegal parrot, Turtle Bird, is like living with a small dragon. She's adorable and cuddly most of the time, but if I happen to hit one of her triggers--she HATES crinkly paper, for example--ZAP I've got a bloody ear (or worse). She's hard-wired, and actually acts remorseful afterward, in her weird reptilian way. Keeps a person on their toes.
posted by kinnakeet at 9:52 PM on August 27, 2011


Please be careful when you play with a laser pointer and a bird. Most parrots count on their vision more than any other source of input. Every time I saw the light reflected in the bird's eye I got nervous. A bird depends upon sight so much that even a glancing reflection might damage its vision.

Please be careful.
posted by Splunge at 10:22 PM on August 27, 2011


This seems cruel and stress inducing for the bird.

Seriously? It looks like a stoner trying to catch a ladybug.
posted by Theodore Sign at 10:22 PM on August 27, 2011


I gotta say that while this is cute, I'm not crazy about the whole "playing with animals with laser pointers" thing. If that shit flicks in their eye it could do some serious damage.
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:57 AM on August 28, 2011


Not a lot of people are aware that the cockatoo is a bird of prey and hunt in packs.
posted by drdarknuss at 11:41 AM on August 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


fun is cruel and stress-inducing
you know it to be true
posted by LogicalDash at 2:18 PM on August 28, 2011


I'm not getting the cruel part . . . Birds are smart and easily bored. They enjoy puzzles and they need stimulation like this. We have parrots at work and they love doing things like untying knots, shredding paper, and undoing stitching.
posted by normy at 2:27 PM on August 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Sorry--last comment was me.
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 2:33 PM on August 28, 2011


Another aspect of bird weirdness is mating season. Parrots have one. And one of those wired instinctive behaviors is that a parrot might attack and bite an apparent rival for the affections of its mate, or it might not so playfully jab and bite its mate to drive it away from a rival. If you have inveigled yourself into your parrot's worldview enough to be considered mate material, this can come as a nasty surprise.
posted by localroger at 4:18 PM on August 28, 2011


Splunge & tumid dahlia: Given that they have very similar eye cells to our own (as do pretty much all terrestrial animals), and the laser beam is smaller than our typical iris size (so our eyes typically allow in all the energy of the beam), I wouldn't expect it to hurt them.

After all this time, if the bird-keeping world wasn't a-buzz with "OMG NEVER EVER point a laser at your parrot! Mine went blind!", I'd consider that to be verified by fact.

So, relax. No more harmful than getting it in your eyes (which, despite the warnings, is perfectly safe) (for short periods of time - don't be pointedly stupid).
posted by IAmBroom at 7:11 PM on September 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


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