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Drink My Words
September 23, 2011 9:07 AM   Subscribe

My machine converts words into cocktails. And, yes, it does work. Now I can literally taste the flavor of my words.

At the top of the machine there is a slot into which a bottle with alcohol, water, or even milk can be screwed. The essence of the art here lies in the ability of the syrups or liqueurs to tint the neutral color of the liquid. In the picture below you can see the connector itself and the regulator (which is actually an IV Rate Flow Regulator I picked up in a drugstore), which opens or closes off the air flow into the bottle and thus acts as an on/off switch. Once it enters the machine, the liquid spreads across the fourteen tubules.

Each tubule is connected to one of the 14 transparent display segments. With the help of special regulators located on the side of the machine, the liquid’s flow speed in each segment can be regulated.

Pressing the buttons on the keyboard injects the corresponding ingredients into the display, which tints different segments of the display and thus produces letters. You can try to imagine that each letter can have a taste (L-Lime, A-Apple), a color (R-Red, G-Green), or a name (K-Kahlua, J-Jagermeister).

Syringes function as the machine’s buttons. A valve connects to the syringes and turns them into pumps.

In the back of the keyboard, there are slots for the bottles with colored beverages in them. There are 26 total slots, one for each letter of the Latin alphabet. When a syringe stem goes up, liquid is taken from the bottle connected to it.

When the stem goes down (that is, when one pushes the button), the colored liquid goes into the splitter on the backside of the display. There, the flow splits into several separate flows, as many segments of the display need to be tinted to draw the necessary letter.

For instance, letters A,B,Q, and R each have seven segments, letters L and T have 3, and letter I takes only 2 segments.

The newly formed mixture flows into the tap and then, into the glass.
posted by zamboni (39 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
You can try to imagine that each letter can have a taste (L-Lime, A-Apple), a color (R-Red, G-Green), or a name (K-Kahlua, J-Jagermeister).

...And "a quick, brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," tastes like the bathroom floor at 4am.
posted by phunniemee at 9:11 AM on September 23, 2011 [5 favorites]


I have to admire so much effort and precision put into something so ultimately stupid.

That said, I really like how the "7" segment display looks. A liquid-effect display without the drink nonsense could be pretty sweet.
posted by DU at 9:13 AM on September 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


what does the word "stupid" taste like?
posted by tomswift at 9:14 AM on September 23, 2011


meaning.. unless typing beer tastes like beer, and sugar like sugar, and dirty dog paws like dirty dog paws, what's the frigging point?
posted by tomswift at 9:15 AM on September 23, 2011


Did anyone else instantly think, "I wonder what QWERTY tastes like"?
posted by Kevtaro at 9:19 AM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


What do the words "tea, Earl Grey, hot" taste like?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:19 AM on September 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


Does typing WATER give you WINE?
posted by chavenet at 9:20 AM on September 23, 2011


Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
 Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
  Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
   Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
    Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
     Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
      Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
       Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
        Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
         Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
posted by griphus at 9:21 AM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


oh for fuck's sake
posted by griphus at 9:21 AM on September 23, 2011


So the key thing here is that a letter once pressed stays pressed. I suppose it might work to manually retract a syringe to plunge it again, but that hardly seems right. Ergo, the most complicated cocktails need to be long words that have no repeat letters.

Which makes "ambidextrously" and "uncopyrightable" the long island iced teas of this gadget.

unless typing beer tastes like beer, and sugar like sugar, and dirty dog paws like dirty dog paws, what's the frigging point?

Synesthesia tourism, maybe.
posted by cortex at 9:24 AM on September 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


Well, that's a new slant on things, griphus.

And all I could this of is "Have a drink on about me"
posted by Old'n'Busted at 9:25 AM on September 23, 2011


What do the words "tea, Earl Grey, hot" taste like?

Like tequila, Everclear, Amaretto, espresso, absinthe, rum, lemon zest, Gran Marnier, Riesling, E & J, Yuengling, Heineken, ouzo, and tomato juice.
posted by saturday_morning at 9:27 AM on September 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


For me, speaking as a drinker, there are just too many steps between bottle and glass.
posted by three blind mice at 9:30 AM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


"LISA, YOU ARE TEARING ME A PART!" = Vodka, Scotch, served warm in a lowball glass, no ice?
posted by Threeway Handshake at 9:36 AM on September 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


cool machine bro
posted by beefetish at 9:45 AM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


My robot bartender is not only an artist, but also a killer mixologist.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:50 AM on September 23, 2011


TWH--
Thank you for The Room reference.
posted by gagglezoomer at 10:00 AM on September 23, 2011


Surprised at some of the negative reactions here. What I wouldn't give to be able to make something so interesting just for the hell of it.

We need more of this.
posted by swift at 10:00 AM on September 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


Well, you can make me a drink.
posted by griphus at 10:11 AM on September 23, 2011


While I do find "just for the hell of it" inventions like this interesting (at least some of the time), I find it hard to believe that this thing can actually make drinks worth drinking. It's a work of art, I suppose, but also a waste of alcohol.
posted by asnider at 10:21 AM on September 23, 2011


YOU WIN AT BOOZE.

I'd go to any bar that bought one of these.
posted by Theta States at 10:26 AM on September 23, 2011


This would make many online forums more bearable. Just make it mix the post text. And one icecube for each exclamation mark.
posted by CautionToTheWind at 10:33 AM on September 23, 2011


Looks great!

It is constantly flushing a clear liquid of your choosing through the 14-segment display into the glass, so if you don't type quickly your drink will become quite watered down (or vodkaed up). I've had good luck mixing several liqueurs together with seltzer. If you can use that as your clear substrate without causing any problems, you might have a chance of coming up with something drinkable... if you choose short words.
posted by aubilenon at 10:49 AM on September 23, 2011


I really want to know what my name tastes like. Gin, I hope.
posted by chatongriffes at 11:00 AM on September 23, 2011


Congratulations, you just invented a really complicated booze version of a soda-fountain Suicide. Now put the machine away and make me a White Russian, okay?
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:02 AM on September 23, 2011


Good for him on pursuing the idea to fruition!

I'd hate to have to clean the thing, though.
posted by yoga at 11:08 AM on September 23, 2011


Long have I wished for an apertif that was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:19 AM on September 23, 2011


THis was quite a bit cooler than I expected, particularly in the effect of the liquid letters.
posted by 6550 at 11:27 AM on September 23, 2011


Long have I wished for an apertif that was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

That sounds supercalifragilisticexpialidelicious!
posted by Kevtaro at 11:51 AM on September 23, 2011


It's not. It's supercalifragilisticexpialatrocious!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:53 AM on September 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


a waste of good booze
posted by mary8nne at 12:29 PM on September 23, 2011


Complaining about this machine not being able to make tasty drinks out of any word is like complaining about Theo Jansen's creations because you can't ride them to work.

The point isn't making tasty cocktails, the point is it's a complex, well-crafted machine that does something unique and fun to watch. If you don't like that you probably should rethink your views of art.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 2:28 PM on September 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


Think of the applications! Even the most complex mixtures could be expressed in code. Encyclopedia is right, this is industrial art of the highest order.
posted by telstar at 5:22 PM on September 23, 2011


It would require a much more advanced machine, but I do like the idea of an alphabet or syllabary for concise, unambiguous descriptions of drinks as single words. Perhaps binding each major ingredient type to a consonant, variations therein to a vowel or combination of vowels, specific treatments and flourishes expressed with diacritics, specific prefixes and suffixes used to communicate glass type and non-booze/mixer content of the glass.
posted by cortex at 5:42 PM on September 23, 2011


So maybe a variant of a manhattan would be "tu-WHA-wha-VE-bi-CHE-no", tumbler glass with two parts rye and one shot sweet vermouth, one shake angostra bitters, cherry and no ice, but if you didn't catch the specific vowels you'd still no it was two whiskeys, one vermouth, bitters. The "no" could be omitted as implied by a lack of any other suffix about glass content, the actual total size of the parts implied by the glass.
posted by cortex at 5:49 PM on September 23, 2011


Nell bin tata. Bu’ alo’so tata, alo’lay. Anna kine’ey law, he lilten
us’kee, us’ erna kee. Yo’ ha’ erna t’ang. Yo’ know’n erna t’ang.
Ma’ yo nay seen inna alo’ sees.
Yo’ aken af’a lilta-lilt.

I’ve been afraid. But everyone is frightened, everywhere. And the sweet Lord soothes our tears, our many tears. You have big things. You know big things.
But you don’t look into each other’s eyes.
And you’re hungry for quietness.
Give me a Scotch.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:05 PM on September 23, 2011


Love it! I'm a sucker cocktails AND phonemes/linguistics so this is a wicked creation. The video is absolutely beautiful too.
posted by Enki at 7:30 PM on September 23, 2011


14 segment display, not 7 segments.
posted by garlic at 7:58 PM on September 23, 2011


didn't this exist in Boris Vian's Froth on a Daydream?
posted by taltalim at 7:51 PM on October 17, 2011


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