I Will Make Certain You Never Buy Knives Again

September 23, 2011 10:19 AM

Mr. Destructo (previously) discusses the inscrutable twitter bot named horse_ebooks, a Russian spam account that communicates entirely through snippets of ebooks and is more hilarious (1, 2, 3, 4), confusing (1, 2, 3, 4) and philosophically poetic (1, 2, 3, 4) than any non-spambot on the internet.
posted by cobra_high_tigers (34 comments total)

I've been confused about this meme for the past few weeks, but after perusing the links in this post, I remain confused.
posted by eugenen at 10:26 AM on September 23, 2011 [5 favorites]

"Many people think that the most popular way of communicating with other people is through the mouth."
posted by delmoi at 10:26 AM on September 23, 2011 [6 favorites]

FAMOUS CRAB
posted by griphus at 10:29 AM on September 23, 2011

I m happy that you ve brought up the subject of bowel function

That's horseshit.
posted by hal9k at 10:29 AM on September 23, 2011 [5 favorites]

"For toDAY third of MAY twenty-TEN ManhatTEN reports mild spring-type weather under the Fuller Dome. Ditto on the General Technics Plaza. But Shalmaneser is a Micryogenic^® computer bathed in liquid helium and it's cold in his vault."
posted by Nomyte at 10:30 AM on September 23, 2011 [6 favorites]

Just picture someone getting mad at a bot, like your roommate irrationally screaming "fuck you" at a microwave display that counted down to zero and scrolled, "Enjoy...your...meal.

Seen it.

It was like seeing someone replace their old Yamaha electric keyboard with a newer model and claiming that the virtually identical samba beat presets on the new one "sold out."

Seen it.

most technology-related arguments seem to involve a race to determine who first gets to use the term "Occam's Razor,"

Seen it
posted by DU at 10:30 AM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

Time is money. Sixty minutes shown to be an hour. Economical habits. 1. Do every thing at the time. Anecdote.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:39 AM on September 23, 2011

magnetic poetry
posted by mrgrimm at 10:39 AM on September 23, 2011

Mongolian Clocks
posted by notmydesk at 10:43 AM on September 23, 2011

I d like a photograph of someone riding this horse, were the doctor s last words to
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:45 AM on September 23, 2011

rubberized pants
posted by notmydesk at 10:47 AM on September 23, 2011

The modern cow horse, he tells you, is the fastest animal
posted by cobra_high_tigers at 10:48 AM on September 23, 2011

Horse ebooks
posted by notmydesk at 10:49 AM on September 23, 2011

Am I the only one thinking this is what the numbers station of the 21st century looks like?
posted by brokkr at 10:50 AM on September 23, 2011 [26 favorites]

something something... terrible death whinny.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:50 AM on September 23, 2011

a horse_ebooks is a horse_ebooks of course_ebooks of course_ebooks except if it's a spam bot
posted by spicynuts at 10:52 AM on September 23, 2011 [2 favorites]

look at my horse, my horse is amazing.
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

I wanted to make love to her like a crazed weasel. I wanted to make love to her like I was an aroused teenage boy at a drive
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 10:54 AM on September 23, 2011

The Lure of Easy Bankruptcy
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:56 AM on September 23, 2011

hey i bet this could be a pretty funny meme

see, the bot is saying stuff that doesn't make sense. it's just word salad. but it has a twitter! the joke is that twitter is for people, not bots. so you are looking at this bot, essentially a random process, and paredolically projecting a mind into it.

what kind of person says such things? would they be crazy? would they be some kind of genius or guru? are these little blurts just trash or secret nuggets of wisdom or what? it's gysin cutup for the modern age, like 4chan. pretty neat
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 10:59 AM on September 23, 2011 [5 favorites]

Eponysterical Guacamole!!!
posted by spicynuts at 11:01 AM on September 23, 2011

also i am not a MLP dude but i think that this is big enough that like a pony_ebooks has potential
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 11:02 AM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

A friend and I were just discussing why we think horse_ebooks is so freaking tears-down-the-face funny. Neither of us had an answer, but we never the less giggle over it uncontrollably via chat during the weekday.

We did come to the conclusion that we have really weird—and really similar—senses of nonsense humor.



PUMPKIN "PIE"
posted by functionequalsform at 11:02 AM on September 23, 2011

But Jill learns trust is not
posted by notmydesk at 11:02 AM on September 23, 2011

I've never twat'ted & I'm not into that, but I read a few funny twats by bad banana and Mike
posted by growabrain at 11:03 AM on September 23, 2011

http://twitter.com/#!/Pony_ebooks

internet outran me
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 11:05 AM on September 23, 2011 [3 favorites]

I wanted to make love to her like I was an aroused teenage boy at a drive

Awkwardly.
posted by Nomyte at 11:16 AM on September 23, 2011

In short, the most outraged and negative theory was that a human being subverted the creative process by disabling a spam bot and deciding to use his or her own imagination.

hee hee hee
posted by DaDaDaDave at 11:40 AM on September 23, 2011

Joe borrowed 10,000 bucks from Mom and Dad and started this clever young ad agency. If you've spent any time crawling the Metaverse, you've seen his work -- and it's seen you, and talked to you, and followed you around.
posted by theclaw at 1:11 PM on September 23, 2011

hal9k: " That's horseshit."

horse_eshit, surely.
posted by Rhaomi at 1:42 PM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

To quote KC Green, "never look a gifthorse_ebooks in the".
posted by quoz at 1:46 PM on September 23, 2011

lawn and
posted by notmydesk at 1:50 PM on September 23, 2011

the joke is that twitter is for people, not bots
You have a better feed than I do.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:01 PM on September 23, 2011

Damn it. I was sitting on a MLP markov generator just itching for a good Twitter front.

Thanks, pony_ebooks for doing the application I wanted to do upon seeing this comment.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:25 PM on September 23, 2011 [1 favorite]