"Frog eyes are kind of white or sometimes have a little green tinge to ’em. Gators have red eyes. You don’t want to grab anything that has red eyes."

September 29, 2011 8:56 AM

“Now, Bill,” Jody tells me, “you got to remember something when you go to grab that frog tonight.” He greets the lady inside the squawk box and places Bryce’s order. “You’re not petting that frog,” he says. “You’re not slapping that frog. You got to…” He presses his lips together, searching for something that will illustrate his point. His eye comes to rest on an empty coffee cup in the truck’s holder. “You got to grab that frog.” As he speaks, a large right fist shoots out, seizing and crushing the Styrofoam cup so quickly and completely that it basically explodes inside the cab. The noise alone is extraordinary. [via]
posted by monju_bosatsu (39 comments total)

And this is why humans shouldn't have hands.
posted by Cerulean at 9:01 AM on September 29, 2011

This is why frogs shouldn't have legs.
posted by Keith Talent at 9:06 AM on September 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

I loved this article. If you're like me, growing up an outdoor sportsman, but not in Louisiana, you see all the boats under I-10 and wish you could go do whatever they're doing. I realize they're not all gigging frogs, but still.

Also, what a bad ass magazine.
posted by resurrexit at 9:10 AM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

“You grab his front legs, pull back, and kind of push his head flat.” Then there is a brief, last muffled grunt or exhalation by the frog. "Everybody!", it rasps. "Loves... the Michigan..."
posted by Wolfdog at 9:11 AM on September 29, 2011 [18 favorites]

This article captures the visceral feeling that is exactly why I can't catch crayfish (we called them crawdads back home). I lunge for them and they ... wiggle! ... and my spinal column bails out on my behalf and they get away. You can't catch them if you're only foolin'.
posted by mindsound at 9:17 AM on September 29, 2011

Ugh, Garden & Gun is like a magazine that completely encompasses my dream life... in fact the only way it would be more right on is if it were called Garden & Gun & '77 Trans Am.

Time to make some changes.
posted by nathancaswell at 9:20 AM on September 29, 2011 [6 favorites]

And this is why humans shouldn't have hands.

The amusing part is that this is exactly why humans have hands. And fast-twitch muscles. And forward-facing binocular vision. They were an evolutionary advantage, so we could track, catch, and grab small prey. We are opportunistic omnivores, and to deny such is to deny humanity itself.
posted by FormlessOne at 9:21 AM on September 29, 2011 [12 favorites]

"Everybody!", it rasps. "Loves... the Michigan..."

But only you hear it. To everyone else, he just lets out a long, flat "Crooooak."
posted by FormlessOne at 9:22 AM on September 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

I only subscribe to a few magazines anymore, and this is one of them. It's a fun thing to have arrive in the mail.
posted by gordie at 9:25 AM on September 29, 2011

The amusing part is that this is exactly why humans have hands. And fast-twitch muscles. And forward-facing binocular vision. They were an evolutionary advantage, so we could track, catch, and grab small prey. We are opportunistic omnivores, and to deny such is to deny humanity itself.

Sure. I understand evolution. I don't think it is denying humanity to say that this post makes me think we are an extremely cruel species.
posted by Cerulean at 9:27 AM on September 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

I read it, read it, read it.
posted by w0mbat at 9:30 AM on September 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

this post makes me think we are an extremely cruel species

Compared to the rest of the animal kingdom ?

Anyway, Belleville Rendezvous (SLYT) FTW ...
posted by GallonOfAlan at 9:31 AM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Cerulean, what exactly is cruel in this post? At no point do they cause unnecessary suffering to the frogs (unless you consider killing something to eat it unnecessary). On the contrary they actually try and make the frogs comfortable until they are killed with the wet towel over the cage.

This is literally no more cruel than an alligator eating a frog, or a heron eating a frog, or any of the numerous other things that eat frogs.

Unless your point is that humans eating meat is by definition cruel, in which case we're arguing from completely different places.
posted by KirTakat at 9:32 AM on September 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

Unless your point is that humans eating meat is by definition cruel, in which case we're arguing from completely different places.

Indeed we are.
posted by Cerulean at 9:33 AM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

The headlamp sends out a beam of light you could hang clothes on.

What a perfect sentence.

As for gigging frogs, two things: There are way crueler ways to gig than grabbing them; anyone who has used a gigging pole can attest to that. This way gives them a fighting chance, at least. And, I don't see hunting your food as cruel as long as it's done with respect and attention to keeping the pain to the animal to an absolute minimum.

That said, I love me some frog legs.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 9:34 AM on September 29, 2011

These may be the tastiest frog legs in North America. Oh lunch, why must you be so far away?
posted by Keith Talent at 9:48 AM on September 29, 2011

MetaFilter: you got to grab that frog.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:52 AM on September 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

Great, now I have the Peter Gabriel song stuck in my head....
posted by The otter lady at 9:56 AM on September 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

Sure. I understand evolution. I don't think it is denying humanity to say that this post makes me think we are an extremely cruel species.

In some ways, yes - but for none of the reasons listed in the article, I think.
posted by FormlessOne at 10:14 AM on September 29, 2011

we are an extremely cruel species

Woah.

Just eating other animals doesn't make us a particularly cruel species. Grabbing wild frogs and with our bare hands and eating them DEFINITELY doesn't make us a particularly cruel species. Mass breeding animals for slaughter and keeping them in brutal conditions? Yeah, that qualifies as a particularly cruel species.

There's a lot wrong with this world and humanity, a bunch of dudes grabbing dinner by hand really doesn't register on my scale.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:24 AM on September 29, 2011 [6 favorites]

Cerulean,

How do you think frogs use their tongues? It's not to lap the succulent nectar out from an blossom, mind you. Their hunting style is very similar to the author's--grabbing their prey, except their food is chewed alive rather than having its head expertly and quickly sliced off first.
posted by razdrez at 10:38 AM on September 29, 2011

Great, now I have the Peter Gabriel song stuck in my head....

Everything wrong with Peter Gabriel in one video
posted by benzenedream at 10:39 AM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

How do you think frogs use their tongues? It's not to lap the succulent nectar out from an blossom, mind you. Their hunting style is very similar to the author's--grabbing their prey, except their food is chewed alive rather than having its head expertly and quickly sliced off first.

Frog's are cruel too and should die.
posted by Cerulean at 10:47 AM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Garden & Gun is awesome, and especially for the restaurant reviews. They haven't steered us wrong yet. I am not a hunter, so I can take or leave the bird-dog stories. Great stuff all around, though.
posted by jquinby at 10:58 AM on September 29, 2011

I want to see a nature argument cage match between Cerulean and Lovecraft in Brooklyn.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:01 AM on September 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

How do you think frogs use their tongues? It's not to lap the succulent nectar out from an blossom, mind you. Their hunting style is very similar to the author's--grabbing their prey, except their food is chewed alive rather than having its head expertly and quickly sliced off first.
---
Frog's are cruel too and should die.
posted by Cerulean at 10:47 AM on September 29 [+] [!]


Thank goodness for humans then! And you'd agree that Paris is the capital of France? Yes?

Good, then we're back in agreement.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:22 AM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

What separates what frogs do and what humans do is that humans have the luxury of choice. Nobody has to kill and eat animals to live. We're not bound by our instincts. So there is an ethical component to our voluntary acts of killing. Whether or not those choices are ethical is subject to debate, of course. Now if you'll excuse me I need to finish up my Mongolian Beef and get back to my job in the dead animal industry.
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 11:26 AM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!"
posted by bondcliff at 11:38 AM on September 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

I don't get what everyone is hopping about - they were gonna croak either way...
posted by stenseng at 12:15 PM on September 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

PS. I'll find my frog
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:17 PM on September 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

That's a great paragraph you excerpted. It's really gripping.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:12 PM on September 29, 2011

I can't help myself but read Jody's words in the voice of Bill Clinton on that episode of Family Guy where he and Peter get high.
posted by Golfhaus at 3:51 PM on September 29, 2011

Oh yeah, I am totally subscribing to this magazine. My multi-decade subscription to Saveur was getting a bit too effete. Thanks for the article and the magazine lead. Do they have something similar for the midwest?
posted by jadepearl at 4:50 PM on September 29, 2011

Ok, that magazine has an article on po' boys, why didn't anyone tell me about this magazine before sooner.

a direct descendant of the ’29 sandwich—is roast beef, but lavish now, shaved thin, piled high, and smothered in brown gravy

Hell yeah.

I am a big fan of regional Roast Beef sandwitches, the Beef on Weck, the Italian Beef and one inveted here in New York. Roast Beef and Brisket with brown gravy on a hero, that is all. Sometimes when I am in the mood to cause trouble I ask them to throw on some provolone.

I wonder how a frog leg po' boy would taste.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:56 PM on September 29, 2011

I wonder how a frog leg po' boy would taste.

My dear sir:

I am intrigued by your ideas, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by jquinby at 7:52 PM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

“You grab his front legs, pull back, and kind of push his head flat.” Then there is a brief, last muffled grunt or exhalation by the frog.

And then it croaks.
posted by mike3k at 8:02 PM on September 29, 2011

Weis. Bud. Er.

Er. Weis. Bud.

Bud. Er. Weis.

Weis. Er. Bud.

Er. Bud. Weis.

Bud. Weis. Er?
posted by XhaustedProphet at 10:17 PM on September 29, 2011

I do like the taste of frog aka "Rice Paddy Chicken". But I also feel sad when I think of the cute little amphibs getting killed.
posted by awfurby at 10:33 PM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

When I was around 7, we had a pond in our yard. A really big bullfrog lived there. It fascinated me. I would watch it for hours, trying to figure out how to catch it. Not to eat it, but for a closer look.
One day I managed to catch the frog by one leg.
The frog used it's free leg to kick me really hard. In fact that frog knocked me on my ass!
Needless to say, I was all muddy and my mother was not happy with me. One I had bothered the frog. Two, I was dirty. She was going to have to was my clothes.
The frog was huge. I suppose catching it at all wasn't really too shabby for a 7 year old.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 5:13 PM on September 30, 2011