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a very clever response to nothing
November 1, 2011 4:26 AM Subscribe

A vigil was held today. Some clever social commenters posted an advertisement on Craigslist today. Mourning the end of an enduring and important love story between two much beloved characters.

the shrine. And here are the best of the photographs after the fuzz moved them on.

Hilarious. Clever and delightful. So clever that it sucked in our very own Michael Idato, a media journalist, momentarily.

Thank you to the organisers. You improved my day markedly.

posted by taff (92 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

Maybe a bit too clever ... the msm is reporting this as an actual heartfelt response from KK's fans.
posted by thinkpiece at 4:41 AM on November 1, 2011

I've never owned a pair of pants ironic enough for an event like this.
posted by loquacious at 4:42 AM on November 1, 2011 [21 favorites]

the msm is reporting this as an actual heartfelt response from KK's fans.

Then again, perhaps no such pants exist.
posted by loquacious at 4:43 AM on November 1, 2011 [11 favorites]

I've never owned a pair of pants ironic enough for an event like this.

Check your driver's license. The entire contents of my closet magically became ironic on my 40th birthday.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 4:48 AM on November 1, 2011 [26 favorites]

Nah, the MSM got caught in the joke. Which makes it even more clever. And hilarious. Brilliant stuff.
posted by taff at 4:58 AM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

These are not bereft teenagers. Video evidence. American folk have perfectly intact senses of humour!
posted by taff at 5:06 AM on November 1, 2011

George Takei's response:

Kim Kardashian files for divorce after 72 days. Another example of how same-sex marriage is destroying the sanctity of the very institution.

posted by yourcelf at 5:24 AM on November 1, 2011 [75 favorites]

This fascination with Kim Kardashian fills me with fury and disgust. I'm still astonished that I saw several TV news programs lead with the story of the divorse and classify it as "breaking news". We are all debased by our contact with scum like the Kardashians.
posted by Larry Duke at 5:30 AM on November 1, 2011 [19 favorites]

I have never watched one of their shows, never heard them speak and didn't know they had a shop till now. Celebrity worship is awful, ubiquitous and provides fabulous opportunities for mirth. Alec Baldwin's latest tweet: “@shanniahwyatt: @AlecBaldwin want to comment on the Kardashian hoopla?”
When ur with the wrong person, 72 days can feel like ....73 days.

Gold!
posted by taff at 5:36 AM on November 1, 2011

This, finally, is the culmination of an enormous, patient prank dreamed up long ago by a bored Armenian stonemason.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:36 AM on November 1, 2011 [8 favorites]

Oh Larry, I wouldnt consider myself fascinated with the Kardashians. Their show isn't even on tv here in Australia. This post is not about the Kardashians, it's about an entirely appropriate response to nothing by some very funny people...poking fun at celebrity culture.

You should be laughing your arse off about this if you really dislike this family so much. C'mon, it's the PERFECT response!
posted by taff at 5:42 AM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

PBS ballsier than NPR
posted by DU at 5:44 AM on November 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

Even Scooby showed up.
posted by stormpooper at 5:51 AM on November 1, 2011

Wasn't even aware they were married.
posted by Ironmouth at 5:55 AM on November 1, 2011

This is clever? Why give them more attention?
posted by brokkr at 5:57 AM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

We are all debased by our contact with scum like the Kardashians.

Many people see that as a feature, not a bug.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:22 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Kardashians? They're the bad guys from Star Trek: Deep Space 9, right?
posted by DiscountDeity at 6:26 AM on November 1, 2011 [56 favorites]

My cousin tweeted, "If this is what happens after Kim's wedding special, I don't even want to know what happens after her baby special."
posted by glaucon at 6:30 AM on November 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

Kardashians? They're the bad guys from Star Trek: Deep Space 9, right?
posted by DiscountDeity at 6:26 AM on November 1 [+] [!]

I thought this secretly for months. I was confused, but intrigued: A show that followed Gul Dukat around in his home life, "keeping up" with him? Risky stuff, Rick Berman. Risky stuff.
posted by gc at 6:30 AM on November 1, 2011 [19 favorites]

I think finding out about the Kardashians was one of my first true "get off my lawn" moments.

GET OFF MY LAWN
posted by kmz at 6:32 AM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

A distasteful response to a distasteful spectacle. Hilarious, but still distasteful.
posted by valkyryn at 6:38 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

glaucon: "My cousin tweeted, "If this is what happens after Kim's wedding special, I don't even want to know what happens after her baby special."

Considering that the attention paid to those (really, not particularly attractive) people is already something of an abortion...
posted by notsnot at 6:39 AM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

I don't know who either of those people are or why their divorce is noteworthy, but I laughed pretty hard at the guy who showed in a Scooby Doo costume in picture 23. Every vigil should have a guy in a Scooby Doo costume.
posted by cmonkey at 6:39 AM on November 1, 2011 [7 favorites]

*Goes back to fertilizing lawn*
posted by arcticseal at 6:47 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Who?
posted by rusty at 6:48 AM on November 1, 2011

What the hell did these people do to get famous again?

I swear to god half these people need to go on a journey to meet The Sparrow Price and answer Catatafish's riddle.
posted by Talez at 6:48 AM on November 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

The Kardashians are just like a train wreck. You know something bad is going to happen, you feel sorry for those who will be hurt, but you have to watch it anyway.

What's scary is that my dad (pushing 90 y.o.) has heard of KimK - but only after she might not have been able to make it to an awards ceremony because her custom dress wouldn't fit over her butt.

BTW: Who had "72" in the "Days until the KK^2 marriage will bomb" pool?
posted by Man with Lantern at 6:54 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

You should be laughing your arse off about this if you really dislike this family so much. C'mon, it's the PERFECT response!

They're basically cultural trolls and you're feeding them by giving them any attention at all.
posted by octothorpe at 6:57 AM on November 1, 2011 [11 favorites]

They're basically cultural trolls and you're feeding them by giving them any attention at all.

This.

To stop those fame whores, one-two-three,
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free.
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee*...[winks]

* Guarantee void in Tennessee

Just don't fucking look.
posted by Talez at 7:03 AM on November 1, 2011 [15 favorites]

Man with Lantern: "What's scary is that my dad (pushing 90 y.o.) has heard of KimK - but only after she might not have been able to make it to an awards ceremony because her custom dress wouldn't fit over her butt."

I hadn't heard of her until I came across a fan-made Oblivion mod. True story.

I'm still not certain of the causality of her celebrity status - did she become famous because she got a TV show, or is it the other way around?
posted by vanar sena at 7:05 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

FWIW, I played in some pickup games with Kris Humphries at a local Mpls gym several years ago, right before he backed out of his agreement to play at Duke. I found him to be one of the most notably dickish people I'd ever been around. The same game had an NBA journeyman, a WNBA player, and a very notable retired NBA player. They were all fine. Humphries? Dick.
posted by mcstayinskool at 7:07 AM on November 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

but i'm still so sad for the pair. so sad.
posted by mcstayinskool at 7:08 AM on November 1, 2011

She got famous because of a sex tape and because of her stage mother who manages their careers.
posted by cass at 7:09 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I see your Kim K and raise you a Lohan.
posted by srboisvert at 7:13 AM on November 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

Kardashians? They're the bad guys from Star Trek: Deep Space 9, right?

Yes. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just fucking with you.
posted by Theta States at 7:22 AM on November 1, 2011 [17 favorites]

did she become famous because she got a TV show, or is it the other way around?

Does it really matter. When you look into the abyss long enough, the abyss looks back...or something like that.
posted by Fizz at 7:25 AM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

* Guarantee void in Tennessee
Just don't fucking look.

This episode has become less popular with me due to the naiveté of the its other fans.
posted by DU at 7:35 AM on November 1, 2011

Kris Humphries is beloved? News to me.
posted by ZeusHumms at 7:39 AM on November 1, 2011

Just another grim fandango.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:46 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Totally disagree with the concept that you have to watch it anyway. Like responding to online trolls, watching scum like the Kardashians, the Jersey Shore troglodytes, and the Real Housewives of (fill in the blank) only encourages that there will be more just like it.

Don't watch. Don't discuss. Just ignore them.
posted by Larry Duke at 7:46 AM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

Why are the police so heavy-handed in clearing out the OWS people, but none of these fuckers got tear-gassed?
posted by yerfatma at 7:50 AM on November 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

The Kardashians are just like a train wreck. You know something bad is going to happen, you feel sorry for those who will be hurt, but you have to watch it anyway.

No, I don't. There may be a lot of things in my life I have no control over, but I have infinite confidence that I don't have to do this.
posted by blucevalo at 7:50 AM on November 1, 2011 [8 favorites]

Q: Did you know I cared about the Kardashians?

A: I actually don't care about the Kardashians.

ROFLMAO! Great joke, everybody!
posted by TheRedArmy at 7:53 AM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

So how many dollars per day of marriage did the wedding cost?
posted by ardgedee at 7:56 AM on November 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

Come on now, don't ask such depressing questions so early in the morning.
posted by TheRedArmy at 7:59 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

This divorce is so sad. SO SAD. After a bad breakup I'd just started to believe in love again...in happily ever after...in tasteful, advertising-sponsored weddings...and now this.

Hold me, Mefi. I'm scared.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:03 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

This fascination with Kim Kardashian fills me with fury and disgust.

FAMODC

I still don't know who the other KK is. And I read the ad.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:08 AM on November 1, 2011

Buttafouco 2.0. (Actually by this time, more like version 4 or 5.)
posted by JHarris at 8:10 AM on November 1, 2011

I can't decide between "Metafilter: just don't look" and "Metafilter: it's like a train wreck."

Obviously it's because I'm so broken up over the break-up.
posted by happyroach at 8:16 AM on November 1, 2011

I thought this secretly for months. I was confused, but intrigued: A show that followed Gul Dukat around in his home life, "keeping up" with him? Risky stuff, Rick Berman. Risky stuff.

I would watch that. I was never a big fan of DS9, but Gul Dukat was a great character. Intelligent, charming, of complex morals and surrounded by hints about his contacts and past in espionage and realpolitik on the side of the baddies. Some of his interactions with Bashir, who was at least as intelligent, but with very simple morals and entirely lacking in guile, were fantastic. A clever team of writers could do some fantastic stuff Dukat's retirement / home life.

As a non-American, I find the Kardashians puzzling. The wiki article explains that they're the subjects of a reality TV show but not why, other than one being married to a famous lawyer and another being a Z-list actor who got filmed having sex with some athlete. Are they a group of attractive, wealthy people who decided to make their own show and somehow persuaded people to buy it? Or did they win some sort of audition process and are getting paid for this? Is "our family life as a TV show" a burgeoning genre in its own right, or are they a special case of celebrity culture gone a bit further than normal?
posted by metaBugs at 8:22 AM on November 1, 2011

I hadn't heard of her until I came across a fan-made Oblivion mod. True story.

I've been wondering for months why US and People magazine kept publishing all the uncanny-valley screenshots of really bad CGI brunettes in bikinis on their covers. I assumed this "Kardashian" thing was a Sims 3 expansion or something. I never would have guessed they were from an Oblivion mod. Is it the whole thing a Skyrim promotion or something?
posted by straight at 8:23 AM on November 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

Is "our family life as a TV show" a burgeoning genre in its own right

Yes. Mostly driven by E! and MTV's obsession to become content free as quickly as possible.

The ones I can think of offhand:

Ozzy Osbourne
Gene Simmons
Hulk Hogan
Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson
Ashlee Simpson
Snoop Dog
Tommy Lee
Bobby Brown
Kathy Griffin
Lisa Loeb

E! and MTV both need to be nuked from orbit.
posted by Talez at 8:38 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Look at that list. Doing a reality show about your family will clearly bring some sort of terrible curse down from the heavens. Beware!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:43 AM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

Doing a reality show about your family will clearly bring some sort of terrible curse down from the heavens.

At least we hope so.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:46 AM on November 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

@mrgrimm - I still don't know who the other KK is. And I read the ad.

My goof. I was thinking of another Kris - who has nothing do with the Kardashians.
posted by Man with Lantern at 8:50 AM on November 1, 2011

The only thing I know about the Kardashians - other than that they shill for Sketchers - is that everyone in their family has the initials KK, due to a combination of alliteration and kreativ speling. That must have made the family chores rota exceptionally confusing.

I wonder if one names their child, say, Curly Moe, will they be kast out of the klan for not going with the double K theme?
posted by mippy at 8:53 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ref: KimK's butt and not fitting into the dress (for those of you that really care):
posted by Man with Lantern at 8:55 AM on November 1, 2011

So how many dollars per day of marriage did the wedding cost?

Tricky to answer. The wedding itself reportedly cost 10 million dollars. But how much did it earn?

And wasn't that the point, anyway?
posted by vitabellosi at 8:58 AM on November 1, 2011

I'be only seen enough of one episode to discover that Bruce Jenner is somehow connected to the Kardashians. WHAT. THE. FUCK? Have you seen him? There's your Gull Dukat reality show. Whoever does his plastic surgery needs to get their license revoked.
posted by KingEdRa at 9:11 AM on November 1, 2011

> E! and MTV's obsession to become content free as quickly as possible.

There has never been anything to remove.
posted by ardgedee at 9:17 AM on November 1, 2011

Well, my first reaction to this was that it looks like just some more runoff from our nation's overactive irony-mines, and I have absolutely no interest in that. The more attention sleazy people like these Kardashians receive from the general public, the more attention they'll keep grabbing for, right? So this vigil seems counterproductive.

But after looking at the photos I have to admit, the signs seemed incredibly callous to me. If I were the intended target of the vigil I would feel truly ashamed of myself. And I really think that's the only cure for the plague of eyeball-greedy sleazes infesting our culture. It made me think of those poor hobo wedding kids, how they spread their hobo wedding photos around the internet hoping for some props and instead they got some brutal mockery and now, I think, they are ashamed of themselves and will be keeping their next clever wedding to themselves. So yeah, definitely keep making fun of the Kardashians until they are shamed and become recluses. I really like that idea.
posted by milk white peacock at 9:28 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

A friend of mine lives near there and she posted about it on Facebook, mentioning a fleeting desire to punch the guitar player in the face.

I'll have to ask her if she realized it was ironic or not.
posted by fshgrl at 9:39 AM on November 1, 2011

I've also never heard KK speak, or seen her in video. But I must admit, she is an excellent Armenian physical specimen and I like looking at her very much. From everything else I hear she doesn't sound like a very good person, but whatever.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:40 AM on November 1, 2011

This is great! Way to go hipsters!
posted by Mister_A at 9:44 AM on November 1, 2011

WTF? Is that Pee Wee Herman?
posted by hal_c_on at 9:54 AM on November 1, 2011

um, did no one see pee-wee herman 3 shots above scooby?
posted by sexyrobot at 9:57 AM on November 1, 2011

I'be only seen enough of one episode to discover that Bruce Jenner is somehow connected to the Kardashians.

I've seen a few, but usually I just overhear it from the next room. My wife watches a lot of these shows. There's a guy on that show who's basically a real-life combination of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho and Will Arnet's character from Arrested Development, and no one seems to have set him on fire yet for some reason.
posted by Hoopo at 10:27 AM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

It was just 72 Days ago, and I thought Love was real again.
For just 72 Days ago I was sure this fairy-tale wouldn't end.
I watched in wonder as this world filled with a magicked glow.
As love became LOVE there on the ruddy stones of Montecito.

And now upon awakening, I find all hope has been destroyed.
Love itself has been vanquished, and torment fills this void.
So I sit defeated and broken, and wish for this life to end.
Full of despair... for Love and for you: my lonely Kardashian.

.
posted by Debaser626 at 10:34 AM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Just don't fucking look.

And yet here we are. fuck.
posted by srboisvert at 10:41 AM on November 1, 2011

You are right, post-it note! Divorce IS unfortunate!

I don't know why but this understatement tickles me
posted by davejay at 11:09 AM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

This was astroturfing by Buzzfeed. From the Observer article:

Now, granted, this is Buzzfeed, a website known for aggregating Internet memes and who are totally suspect for coordinating this kind of internet pranksterism with something like, say, a Craigslist ad to corral people into participating with them.

Also a tipoff: all the Buzzfeed business cards on the signs (#5, #8, #12, #15).
posted by ancillary at 11:11 AM on November 1, 2011

Everything I know about the Kardashians I learned from watching The Soup. Twenty minutes each week when my wife and I sit next to each other on the couch going, "WTF? No, I mean really, WTF?!?!?!"
posted by calamari kid at 11:26 AM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

That was my favorite too, davejay.

A
posted by Mister_A at 12:06 PM on November 1, 2011

Kardashians? They're the bad guys from Star Trek: Deep Space 9, right?

Typical Maquis propaganda!
posted by Brocktoon at 2:43 PM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

I could care less about the Kardashians. OTOH this is news.
posted by Splunge at 3:29 PM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Everything I know about the Kardashians I learned from watching The Soup

Yep. The Kardashians (who could forget the scenes of her getting her ass sucked by the giant massage tool) Jersey Shore, Toddlers & Tiaras, Bad Girls, Rock of Love, Ice T and Coco, that 50 year old guy who married the 16 year old sex bomb, and all the other nasty crap out there. Joel McHale does the filtering for me. Just 20 minutes is enough to keep me up to date. Do you know who Snookie is?

American Reality TV is a trainwreck.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:07 PM on November 1, 2011

This split is already having ripple effects. Now Zooey Deschanel is single again.
posted by drezdn at 5:23 PM on November 1, 2011

Per IMDB, Ryan Seacrest is executive producer, producer, writer and/or creator of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians, "Khloe & Lamar," "Kim's Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event, "Kourtney & Kim Take New York," "Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami," "Bromance" (starring Kim's stepbrother Brody Jenner). He was in the Kardashian family's 2009 Christmas card. Her debut single debuted on his radio show, where he was also the first to officially confirm Kim and Kris's divorce.

According to Forbes, Ryan Seacrest made $61 million in the year before Kim and Kris were even engaged.

I'm sure he has a tattoo somewhere that says "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!!"
posted by argonauta at 5:35 PM on November 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

This split is already having ripple effects. Now Zooey Deschanel is single again.

I can dream again.
posted by arcticseal at 7:12 PM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ryan Seacrest must be stopped. By any means necessary.
posted by Hoopo at 7:36 PM on November 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

Kardashians? They're the bad guys from Star Trek: Deep Space 9, right?

My sister recently watched a few episodes of DS9 that focused on Cardassian politics and said she couldn't stop picturing the Kardashians doing stuff that was being attributed to the Cardassians. She said it was hysterical.
posted by troublesome at 9:12 PM on November 1, 2011

I prefer to think of Kim Kardashian as a character that Nasim Pedrad plays. It's the closest I've come to actually seeing video of her, and I suspect incomparably more enjoyable than the real thing.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:23 PM on November 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Things move fast in Hollywoodland. Dude misses one script meeting and then forgets to check his email for the memo...
posted by likeso at 7:07 AM on November 2, 2011

The Kardashian Calculator- how many Kardashians have you been married?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:18 AM on November 2, 2011

Here's a take on this sordid mess from Molly Baker of Grantland. She argues that Kris Jenner is the catalyst behind all of this.
posted by reenum at 8:52 AM on November 2, 2011

The wedding itself was filled with branding and product placements. Kardashian has a line at sears, and a new, fragrance called Love. Guests were chauffered in Rolls Royces, provided free of charge by a company in exchange for publicity. Her dress was a highly publicized Vera Wang. Her personal trainer got major coverage. People Magazine no doubt paid a pretty penny for exclusive rights to photos and a full magazine spread on the spectacle. E! ran specials, which provided advertising opportunities to a boatload of companies.

How much money did she make on her wedding? How much did others make? How can we even calculate the visibility it gave to her and other brands? All for a marriage that lasted just long enough to maximize its media coverage.
posted by zarq at 8:52 AM on November 2, 2011

Ugh. I should've never entered this thread. You got your celeb gossip in my MetaFilter. Get off my lawn.

That's what I was going to say. But the thread was redeemed by its completely unexpected Elder Scrolls and Star Trek derails. Thanks, fellow geeks. Somehow you always pull through.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 9:51 AM on November 2, 2011

How much money did she make on her wedding? How much did others make? How can we even calculate the visibility it gave to her and other brands? All for a marriage that lasted just long enough to maximize its media coverage.

That's why comedian Rob Delaney is suing her, Ryan Seacrest, E! Television, and Comcast for $18 million. Alas, his case is not likely to go anywhere.
posted by gladly at 1:22 PM on November 2, 2011

I'm not sure exactly what it says about me, but it took this announcement for me to finally buckle and try and figure out who these people are. I'm still deeply confused by the magazine cover with all the wedding dresses. And I feel like a terrible person for knowing about any of it. I want to go memorize some classical poetry now in penance.
posted by SMPA at 3:03 PM on November 2, 2011

Vanity Fair weighs in on this matter of import.
posted by arcticseal at 4:34 PM on November 2, 2011

Just BTW, gay marriage is still illegal in most US states...
posted by Theta States at 6:09 AM on November 3, 2011

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a very clever response to nothing November 1, 2011 4:26 AM Subscribe

a very clever response to nothing
November 1, 2011 4:26 AM Subscribe