Rhino Airlift

November 8, 2011 8:08 AM

The beautiful sight of a black rhinoceros being airlifted to a new home
posted by boygeorge (57 comments total)

I think I've found my new extreme sport.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:10 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm guessing that blindfold aside, this was pretty terrifying for the rhino. Guess it's better to move these amazing creatures around rather than wait for them to disappear.

Godspeed, great horned beast. May you survive human idiocy.
posted by kinnakeet at 8:12 AM on November 8, 2011 [12 favorites]

I'm guessing that blindfold aside, this was pretty terrifying for the rhino.

I'm guessing it was tranquilized.
posted by Flunkie at 8:12 AM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

Upside down. Terrifying even if perceived to be necessary
posted by infini at 8:15 AM on November 8, 2011

I was expecting some kind of elaborate rhino-sized climbing harness thing. WHY THE FEETS? That looks so unpleasant.
posted by elizardbits at 8:15 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Invokes rule 34...
posted by Renoroc at 8:17 AM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Be careful or you'll dislocate a shoulder!
posted by swift at 8:17 AM on November 8, 2011

Wow, if it weren't for the guy patting it at the end I'd assume this was a torture method. Or a quick way of making rhino hash.
posted by DU at 8:18 AM on November 8, 2011

What you're not seeing is the cordon behind which they lined up all the other endangered species as a lesson to them:

"Keep fuckin' or we'll airlift you too."
posted by griphus at 8:20 AM on November 8, 2011 [7 favorites]

I'm actually very surprised that there was no harness. This seems like a lot of weight to hang from a rhino's ankles. I can't believe that that was the best way to do it.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:20 AM on November 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

Wait, I don't understand. Where's the crate and parachute? Where's Danny Glover and Ray Liotta? Where's Doug E Doug? I'M SO CONFUSED.
posted by phunniemee at 8:20 AM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

They could've just eaten it.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 8:22 AM on November 8, 2011

"Or a quick way of making rhino hash."

Yeah, I'm seeing one of those Top Gear challenges: Richard Hammond races a Porsche 911 Turbo against a black rhinocerous VW Beetle...
posted by straw at 8:22 AM on November 8, 2011

Looks more comfortable than my last trip with Delta, anyway.
posted by notmydesk at 8:24 AM on November 8, 2011 [14 favorites]

Yeah, that was definitely one of Pink Floyd's best albums.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:30 AM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm actually very surprised that there was no harness. This seems like a lot of weight to hang from a rhino's ankles. I can't believe that that was the best way to do it.

I'm also baffled as to why they thought this was a good idea. Even without an actual harness, you'd think they could at least rig up a simple sling or something.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:30 AM on November 8, 2011

"This new procedure is gentler on the darted rhino because it shortens the time it has to be kept asleep with drugs, the respiration is not as compromised as it can be in a net and it avoids the need for travel in a crate over terrible tracks," project leader Dr. Jacques Flamand said.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 8:33 AM on November 8, 2011 [6 favorites]

Upside down. Terrifying even if perceived to be necessary

I just recently found out that rabbits, who get terrified and violently squirmy when lifted off the ground will go into a virtually hypnotic state of total relaxation when flipped on their backs and held like a baby.

Based on these photos, I'm going to choose to believe that rhinos have the same built in mechanism.

Though testing this idea is going to be... interesting. And I'm betting the zoo is going to get mad when I jump the fence and try to convince the rhinos to roll over.
posted by quin at 8:37 AM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Thanks, Horselover Phattie.

The relocation coincided with news released by the WWF that more rhinos had been killed in South Africa in the past 10 months than in all of 2010. Statistics released from South Africa National Parks show 341 have been killed by poachers in 2011, again breaking the record that had been set when 333 were killed in 2010.

Jesus fuck.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:37 AM on November 8, 2011

"I don't know," said the rhino. "I fell asleep halfway through Raising Hope, and when I woke up, I had the worst backache of my life, and - hey! Who the hell are you guys? Where's my couch? This shit is not funny!"
posted by S'Tella Fabula at 8:38 AM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

I'm actually very surprised that there was no harness. This seems like a lot of weight to hang from a rhino's ankles. I can't believe that that was the best way to do it.

I imagine that using a net, or a sling around the abdomen would result in difficulties with respiration.

On preview, what Horselover said.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:38 AM on November 8, 2011

Wow, thanks for adding that note, HP, I was getting quite "but it's UPSIDE DOWN WHAT THE...." wibbly myself.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:39 AM on November 8, 2011

I can't wait for rhinoing to be the next facebook meme.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:40 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

If you flip the fourth image, you get a charming rhino-shaped weather balloon.
posted by rh at 8:45 AM on November 8, 2011 [12 favorites]

s-s-s-s-southbound pachyderm!!!!
posted by Jibuzaemon at 8:47 AM on November 8, 2011

Hey, now. Pachyderm is an obsolete classification.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 8:49 AM on November 8, 2011

Couldn't they just have let it the bus fare?
posted by Abiezer at 8:50 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

A couple of those photos had me thinking, "Why is the photographer standing right underneath the rhino?? What if the cable breaks?!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:50 AM on November 8, 2011

*lent* arse
posted by Abiezer at 8:50 AM on November 8, 2011

I can never see these things without expecting the camera to zoom out and reveal that David Attenborough is strapped on to the rhino, recording narration for the next special.
posted by Jon_Evil at 8:51 AM on November 8, 2011 [6 favorites]

I can't wait for rhinoing to be the next facebook meme.

Renting a helicopter is a big investment, but it's worth it for the literally dozens of page hits.
posted by DU at 8:51 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

I must remember to give my rhino an airplane spin when I get home. He loves it so.

Note: I do not actually have a rhino. While they could, theoretically, be litter trained, they would make very bad pets. Try a youtube search for "rhino feces," I dare you. Well, I don't really dare you, good taste forbids that. But, if you are that curious, good luck to you.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:52 AM on November 8, 2011

Hey, now. Pachyderm is an obsolete classification.

"Outside strict biological classification, the term "pachyderm" is commonly used to describe elephants, rhinoceroses, and hippopotamuses."

Don't think ol' Les is the biggest proponent of "strict classification..."
posted by Jibuzaemon at 8:53 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Couldn't they just have let it the bus fare?

But as a black rhino, where would it sit?

ANYWHERE IT WANTS
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:59 AM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

"Why is the photographer standing right underneath the rhino?? What if the cable breaks?!"

I would be a lot more worried about vertigo or terror induced rhino incontinence, tbh.
posted by elizardbits at 9:02 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

A little bummed that they didn't drop him at Candy Mountain.
posted by HappyHippo at 9:05 AM on November 8, 2011

I see your upside-down airlifted rhino and raise you a video of a newborn baby rhino. He appears to be astonished by his own rhinocerosity.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:06 AM on November 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

As god as my witness, I thought rhinos could fly!
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:11 AM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

I love rhinos. Had the privilege of petting and feeding a few of them (of the Indian variety) at the San Diego zoo a couple years back. In a lot of ways they remind me of bulldogs -- large, muscular, unaware of their own strength, and just happy to hang out and chill.

I got quite the surprise when, while feeding the rhinos, one of them grabbed my hand pretty solidly with its lips and turned its head slightly. It was a lesson in how frail I am compared to one of these creatures -- my arm went with it, my torso followed, and I had to catch myself on the fencing to pull free. I got yanked maybe a total of 6 inches before my hand came free, but if that rhino had me with more than just lips, it could have pulled me as easily as I carry my one year old around.

Large mammals are the absolute best. Rhinos, elephants, giraffes... I just love them. They are absolutely majestic creatures. I'd really like to switch careers and work with them at some point in the future.
posted by bfranklin at 9:11 AM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

He appears to be astonished by his own rhinocerosity.

He really does seem to have the look of a creature who has just realized "Holy crap! I am fucking awesome!"
posted by quin at 9:16 AM on November 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

With the sudden closure of the prata stall at the local kopitiam (coffee shop), and with plans of demolishing the whole thing and building a condo there instead, I fear my habitat is being critically endangered.

I'd like to be transported to safer climes, preferably to the 5th Arrondisement in Paris, just as the rhinoceros here has been transported. You can even save on such frivolities as tranquilizing me or blindfolding me.
posted by the cydonian at 9:21 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

There was a pretty shocking investigative report on SA TV a few years ago, showing that staff from the Vietnamese Embassy were smuggling rhino horn... and YouTube has a bit of it.
posted by Flashman at 9:34 AM on November 8, 2011

The cydonian - but would you consent to then being strapped to the undercarriage of a Singapore Airlines flight to Paris?
posted by infini at 9:36 AM on November 8, 2011

rhinocerosity

What a shame that there will be so few legitimate excuses to use this fabulous word.
posted by kingbenny at 9:44 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

rhinoceriously.
posted by griphus at 9:47 AM on November 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

a video of a newborn baby rhino.

dear god. please warn for horrible glistening placenta next time. DID NOT WANT.
posted by elizardbits at 9:55 AM on November 8, 2011

> please warn for horrible glistening placenta next time.

I was actually looking for a clip of something I recently saw on NatGeo TV that showed a rhino being born in a breech position. The afterbirth was indeed a magnificent spurting sight.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 9:57 AM on November 8, 2011

Any other idiots suprised and kind of disappointed the rhino wasn't jet black?

A couple of those photos had me thinking, "Why is the photographer standing right underneath the rhino?? What if the cable breaks?!

Some people want to go in their sleep. I want to go via rhinoceros falling from the sky.
posted by mreleganza at 10:21 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Rhinocerosity is an awesome word.

That baby rhino, however, has some seriously creepy eyes.
posted by dpx.mfx at 10:27 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

That did not look good for his neck poor thing! And I bet his ankles hurt like a mother afterward!
posted by daydreamer at 10:34 AM on November 8, 2011

> That did not look good for his neck poor thing! And I bet his ankles hurt like a mother afterward!

I suspect it hurt significantly less than being shot with a rifle and having some asshole saw off your horn while you bleed to death with no tranquilizer to numb the pain.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 10:37 AM on November 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh definitely, Horselover Phattie. I really should have ended my comment with "but it's better than the alternative."
posted by daydreamer at 11:04 AM on November 8, 2011

I'm guessing that blindfold aside, this was pretty terrifying for the rhino.

Rhinos are stupid. STUUUUUUUUPIIIIIID. Really dumb. Planarians can best them, 2 out of 3, in checkers. They're all penniless, because frickin' Nigerian princes are their next-door-neighbors, and they fall for it every time.

I'm guessing that rhino is thinking something like, "Gee, I wonder why my tongue is on the top of my mouth."
posted by IAmBroom at 11:10 AM on November 8, 2011

My youngest son's nickname is The Rhino, because when he was little he was obsessed with them.

Like, seriously, obsessed.

He had stuffed rhinos instead of teddy bears, we had Smithsonian and Discover rhinos that walked and talked (RHINOS HAVE THICK, LEATHERY SKIN!), we gave out Endangered Species candy bars as party favors at birthday celebrations because a portion went toward WWF. He drew pictures of them in his little journal when he was 4 years old.* He became a minor celebrity in kindergarten, where they adopted the rhino as their class mascot.

So, anyway, we adopted a rhinoceros when he was a kid, and they'd send us newsletters on how his adopted rhino, Piggy (whose girlfriend was Rebecca) was doing. We adopted a tiger a couple years ago and an octopus, etc. since, but we still get the rhino newsletters, and the news is heart-breaking.

In the preserve, the rhinoceroses are supposed to be protected, and they do their best to keep them safe from poachers, but it's hard to keep up the staff necessary for constant vigilance and the territory is large.

They used to cut or file the horns off of the rhinos in an attempt to make them less attractive to poachers (who generally only want them for the mythical powers of the horn, which is said to increase virility).

They stopped doing this when poachers went on a rampage and deliberately slaughtered whole families of hornless rhinos.

As I recall, the black rhino is smaller than the white rhino, but more aggressive, and they are extremely territorial, so hopefully this guy will do well in his new environment.

*He recently ran across his journal again. One one page was a hand-drawn picture of a rhino and "rhinorrrrrrrr" above its head. We decided it was his way of spelling "rhinoceros". Clearly, he said, he'd asked me how to spell the rhino part, then wanted to give the full scientific name, and figured that, "The more r's, the better the oceros!"
posted by misha at 12:44 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

The other rhinoceroses will NEVER believe him...

"You guys. No shit, I think I was abducted by aliens!"

[rhinochorus]

"Whatever, Scott, you are just making shit up again."
posted by gjc at 6:08 PM on November 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

As god as my witness, I thought rhinos could fly!

Slap*Happy, if I had been drinking coffee, it would be all over my monitor right now!
posted by platinum at 3:36 AM on November 9, 2011

Western black rhino declared extinct   :(
posted by jeffburdges at 10:24 PM on November 9, 2011