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I'm looking at a new Jersey
December 8, 2011 8:35 AM   Subscribe

I come from Bankers and Businessmen, New Jersey. The dividing line between north and south New Jersey is the Driscoll Bridge according to one theory. The Sports Fan rule applies a hypothetical line between where NY Giant fandom ends and Philadelphia Eagle fanaticism begins. Under the Sandwhich conjecture, South Jersey's northern border is where people stop eating hoagies for lunch and start eating subs. New Jersey is too nuanced for simple binary categorization. Rigorous tests of the competing theories produce contradictory results (Monmouth County is part of South Jersey under the Driscoll theory and North Jersey using Sports Fan methodology.) Throwing out the ineffectiveness of northern and southern classifications, a recent Rutgers graduate and current state employee has produced a controversial and highly accurate visualization of a new Jersey, though some may be offended.
posted by otto42 (73 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
Ghetto in the woods? Is that a real thing? I've never gotten off the road to Atlantic City based on general Apocalypse Now rules but this woods-ghetto sounds intriguing.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:40 AM on December 8, 2011


It's all part of "NOT NEW YORK" as far as I'm concerned.
posted by spicynuts at 8:41 AM on December 8, 2011 [5 favorites]


Am I the only one who gets only an unreadably blurry image in a crappy Flash container? The original appears to be here.
posted by bjrubble at 8:42 AM on December 8, 2011 [12 favorites]


It's all part of "NOT NEW YORK" as far as I'm concerned.

Funny you should mention this, KFC from Barstool New York posted his map yesterday.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:43 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Here's another informative NJ map -- the Pork Roll / Taylor Ham divide.

Pork Roll and either Old People and Asians or Drunken Rutgers Students here, in case you were wondering.
posted by capnsue at 8:43 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


yeah and bjrubble's imgur link is much much better then lousy Scribd..
posted by capnsue at 8:44 AM on December 8, 2011


Of course this is completely accurate, except for where I grew up, which doesn't capture the nuances of those of us from there.
posted by entropone at 8:47 AM on December 8, 2011 [11 favorites]


As a Philly native, I'm not really permitted to say this, but this map kinda makes me want to move to New Jersey. I'm just having trouble deciding between being a hill person or a piney.
posted by orme at 8:50 AM on December 8, 2011


I've never understood why people make fun of New Jersey.

I can't crack on a place that produced the man who gave us Flashlight.
posted by droplet at 8:51 AM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]



I've never understood why people make fun of New Jersey.


I don't get it either but who am I to buck 200 years of tradition?
posted by spicynuts at 8:53 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Taylor Ham Forever. Also if you're a Shore person or a Pines person.

Also, please turn your speakers all the way up
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 AM on December 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


I think Jersey gets a bad rap, and I don't even live there.
posted by josher71 at 8:57 AM on December 8, 2011


I feel the same way about Southern California.
posted by josher71 at 8:57 AM on December 8, 2011


Can't you Yankees just divide your state along barbeque style variations like civilized people?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:58 AM on December 8, 2011 [10 favorites]


> WHERE THEY FILMED CLERKS

In a comparable map of mah state the whole top third would be labeled BANJO MUSIC except for the upper right corner, which would be WHERE THEY FILMED DELIVERANCE. We'd have to share it with South Carolina but it has a lot more swag.
posted by jfuller at 9:01 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


One big metric I've seen is which Big City you're turned toward, either NYC in the north, Philly in the south west, or that hazy middle where we imprison all our college students and state workers.

Clear sign someone is from New Jersey, the ability to detect Long Island interlopers in your midst.
posted by The Whelk at 9:01 AM on December 8, 2011 [7 favorites]


Also,

*ahem*

EXIT NINE REPRESENT
posted by The Whelk at 9:05 AM on December 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


Philadelphia Eagle fanaticism begins

That's phantacism, you Philla-dummy!
posted by wcfields at 9:06 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was born and raised in Monmouth County. It's not South Jersey.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:08 AM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


My ex apparently grew up in Drunk Rutgers Students, which would have been a tip, had I known. Because they grow up, you know? And move to Firmly Believe Things Demonstrably Against Their Own Best Interests.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:11 AM on December 8, 2011


now turn your speakers EVEN HIGHER UP.

When I die they're gonna bury me in Jersey, yeah, I just know it man...
posted by entropone at 9:11 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


EXIT NINE REPRESENT

ROUTE 18 FOR LIFE!
posted by capnsue at 9:12 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, Modern central NJ has a huge, multi-generational Indian population that is changing my mental nationality map of NJ and has led to excellent, excellent food.
posted by The Whelk at 9:16 AM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Executives living in Mansions and driving Mercedes Benzs" was where I grew up and and went to school with those executives' asshole kids. Nothing like being the only poor towny in an AP class full of rich kids bused in from the suburbs.
posted by octothorpe at 9:19 AM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Apparently I lived, from the age of four to the age of seventeen, on the border of "Farms and Army Bases" and "Pretty Much Alabama". This is pretty much entirely wrong. Either that or I'm oblivious to everything, which is possible.

Also, here's a more zoom-in-able version.
posted by madcaptenor at 9:24 AM on December 8, 2011


One big metric I've seen is which Big City you're turned toward, either NYC in the north, Philly in the south west, or that hazy middle where we imprison all our college students and state workers.

My family bought a tiny summer house in Manahawkin in the mid-'70s; it was the happiest place on the planet for me for a month or so a year growing up. (We lived in Newark and its 'burbs). It was always incredibly oddly thrilling to see the local Philly TV stations for a few weeks a year.

Greetings from Friendly White Families, NJ.
posted by mintcake! at 9:26 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hoboken is more Drunk Frat Guys And Very Harassed Commuters.

Also North jersey is missing "Wealthy African-American Enclaves"
posted by The Whelk at 9:27 AM on December 8, 2011


Greetings from Adverb Stack, NJ
posted by mintcake! at 9:28 AM on December 8, 2011


Also, the map says I live in McMansions. That is hilarious.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:29 AM on December 8, 2011


there is a really good diner outside Adverb Stack
posted by The Whelk at 9:29 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


lived*. Now I live in a 1BR in Manhattan that is even further from a mansion than the house I grew up in.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:29 AM on December 8, 2011


now I'm trying to think what the archetypical NJ town would be
posted by The Whelk at 9:30 AM on December 8, 2011


Firstly: A better quality version of the map.

spicynuts: "It's all part of "NOT NEW YORK" as far as I'm concerned."

Secondly, one of my only gripes with the map is that the area just west of the Hudson (labelled "Hipsters," and also the bit extending down to Bayonne) doesn't really describe that area all that well. If I were doing the map, I'd take the strip of North Bergen, Hoboken, Jersey City, and Bayonne and label it "Basically New York," or something snarky like "West Brooklyn" (which captures the hipster aspect nicely).

I'd also make a new region just west of that, and call it "Oil Drums, Shipping Containers, and an Airport;" or "How everyone else sees us*"

Bergen County also doesn't seem to be very accurately described. It's a pretty wealthy area, but I don't think that they're necessarily defined by that wealth, or as Christie voters (Christie himself lives smack in the middle of "Executives living in Mansions and driving Mercedes Benzes"). I haven't been there in a while, but "Catholics, Jews, and Old People" seems like it'd be a more apt description of the area; alternatively. "Closed on Sunday" would be another good one.

Oh. Also amend "Drunk College Students" to "Drunk College Students and Grease Trucks." Can't forget the grease trucks.

*Things aren't much better on the other ends, and I will gladly concede that I'd hate New Jersey too if I'd only seen the Turnpike, its surrounding environs, or the inner suburbs. The first thing you see when you enter the state from Philly is Camden; the first thing you see entering the state from Delaware is a chemical factory, and an electronic sign encouraging you not to kill yourself during your stay in the Garden State; when you enter from New York City, you're greeted by a series of landfills, an enormous seaport/railyard, Newark Airport, and a really smelly chemical factory.
posted by schmod at 9:35 AM on December 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


octothorpe: ""Executives living in Mansions and driving Mercedes Benzs" was where I grew up and and went to school with those executives' asshole kids. Nothing like being the only poor towny in an AP class full of rich kids bused in from the suburbs."

Me too, octothorpe. We should form a support group or something.
posted by schmod at 9:36 AM on December 8, 2011


(oh god schmod my brother runs a grease truck there)
posted by The Whelk at 9:39 AM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


so the archetypical NJ town would be somehow both near the shore and the woods, have an italian-american diner and a kosher Chinese place and have a NJ transit stop with a newly built and clunky train station ...
posted by The Whelk at 9:48 AM on December 8, 2011


So will this map finally replace the creaky ancient "You're from New Jersey? What exit?" joke?
posted by briank at 9:48 AM on December 8, 2011


NEVER
posted by The Whelk at 9:51 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


When someone says "what exit" I can never figure out if they mean the Turnpike, the Parkway, or if I should just steal their wallet.
posted by mintcake! at 9:53 AM on December 8, 2011 [12 favorites]


I was raised in The Melting Pot and have returned back to my native land after a few years spent on the border of Springsteen Country and Pineys Everywhere.

As for the exit joke, I was in a bar in Dublin about 13 years ago and after striking up conversation with a group of nice Irish folks, I was asked which state I was from in the US. When I replied, "NJ"! one of them immediately followed up with "What exit??" It was a facepalm moment.
posted by crankylex at 10:00 AM on December 8, 2011


When someone says "what exit" I can never figure out if they mean the Turnpike, the Parkway, or if I should just steal their wallet.

When someone says "what exit" I say "2" and get all sorts of weird looks, because people from North Jersey seem to think that the turnpike starts somewhere around exit 8.
posted by madcaptenor at 10:01 AM on December 8, 2011


Whether intentional or not, the map maker was able to delineate pretty closely in some places where one area begins and another ends. I thought he was pretty spot on with the eastern border of "where they filmed clerks" and "bankers and businessmen" meet. Going from east to west, Atlantic Highlands does become more Clerks like.

The south end part of bankers and businessmen where it meets Springsteen country is also is pretty spot on. Some of those Shore towns though could use some adjustment. Deal is the Jewish Riveria and Spring Lake and Sea Girt are the Irish Riveria.
posted by otto42 at 10:06 AM on December 8, 2011


awww. I've been gone for 20 years but still have affection for my old state.
grew up in Russians, Pollacks and toxic fumes (oh my!) and Vast Wilderness et.al.
(plus 4 years of Drunk Rutgers Student, how could I have survived without those delicious $1.50 falafel sammiches from the hallowed grease trucks?)

its an incredibly diverse state; its too bad most people only see its toxic asshole(s). there's lots of beauty to enjoy too, and lots of kickass food :)
posted by supermedusa at 10:13 AM on December 8, 2011


The Whelk: "have a NJ transit stop with a newly built and clunky train station ..."

Eh? Most of the train stations I used in Jersey were ANCIENT. Granted, they did recently dump a ton of money into many of them (not all for the better), but almost everything on the M&E dates from the 1800s or early 1900s. I believe the NJ Coast and Bergen lines all had fairly old stations too.
posted by schmod at 10:15 AM on December 8, 2011


the Trenton to NY line has pretty new stations, but I can't speak to the shore ones.

The train cars are still made of duct tape and sadness however.
posted by The Whelk at 10:16 AM on December 8, 2011


EXIT NINE REPRESENT

ROUTE 18 FOR LIFE!


Route 1 traffic says hello, also!
posted by rachaelfaith at 10:20 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


yeah, "catholics, jews, and old people" works pretty well for Bergen County. nice one, schmod.
posted by entropone at 10:21 AM on December 8, 2011


I miss my tasty kakes.

sniff.
posted by roue at 10:32 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sweet! Middle Class Raritan Valley Line Commuters Represent! Although to be fair I have not lived there in a very long time.
posted by cmdnc0 at 10:34 AM on December 8, 2011


I too am made of duct tape and sadness, but it is amazing what one can do with a sharpie.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:35 AM on December 8, 2011


My wife was born in New Jersey, in Princeton hospital, to be exact. On the night I met her, she was talking to someone else who was also from New Jersey. One of the first sentences I ever heard from the future Mrs. DFM500 was "Which fuckin' exit are you off of?"

It was something to do with two freeways that run through the state.

I remember odd things.
posted by dfm500 at 10:47 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


That map says that I live in Christie Country, but I don't even know anybody who voted for him. Even the Republicans I know hate him. I have to doubt any map that attributes any sort of rightward lean to Teaneck/Englewood/Hackensack/Bergenfield. Certainly that tag applies to other parts of Bergen County, but those four towns at least should have been labeled "Commuters, Past and Present" or something similar. I grew up in Teaneck and always knew way more about what was happening in Manhattan than anything going on outside of a three town radius.
posted by LiliaNic at 10:50 AM on December 8, 2011


The Whelk: "the Trenton to NY line has pretty new stations, but I can't speak to the shore ones.
The train cars are still made of duct tape and sadness however.
"

Until I was almost grown up, the NJ transit cars were still the ones that Edison had built in the '20s with windows that opened, wicker horsehair-filled seats and no air-conditioning. It was like commuting in a movie set.

And a bar-car in the back
posted by octothorpe at 10:56 AM on December 8, 2011


I'd take the strip of North Bergen, Hoboken, Jersey City, and Bayonne and label it "Basically New York," or something snarky like "West Brooklyn" (which captures the hipster aspect nicely).

As someone who lived in Jersey City for a couple of years, I second this comment. Other than tri-state rivalry issues and the PATH, I couldn't figure out what the difference between Brooklyn and Hoboken was.

Also, that visualization is dead on for the parts of NJ I know anything about: the two places I lived and where my husband went to high school ("executives & mercedes"). I was surprised when I moved up there to realize he was right about the parts of NJ that have more cows than people, but part of that is things like the giant estates at the end of the train lines to NYC.
posted by immlass at 10:59 AM on December 8, 2011


I have lived in "Lawyers driving hybrids" and "Sad black people and corruption" and now I live in "Hipsters/Poor Minorities" or whatever the fuck this map calls Jersey City.
posted by ob at 11:14 AM on December 8, 2011


Oh wait, I just saw this:

I'd take the strip of North Bergen, Hoboken, Jersey City, and Bayonne and label it "Basically New York," or something snarky like "West Brooklyn" (which captures the hipster aspect nicely).

As someone who lived in Jersey City for a couple of years, I second this comment. Other than tri-state rivalry issues and the PATH, I couldn't figure out what the difference between Brooklyn and Hoboken was.


Yup, this is all true. So "Basically New York" it is.
posted by ob at 11:15 AM on December 8, 2011


I always thought the dividing line was the 07xxx/08xxx ZIP Codes.
posted by MtDewd at 11:44 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've lived all over this great state, and I'm astounded at how much of this is spot on. Much love from Crumbling Industry, Lawyers Driving Hybrids, Farmers and Subdevelopments (Bucks County lite), Hipsters (West Brooklyn! Represent!), and Philly Trash (Sea Isle City is not Gaudy Summer Homes).
posted by whuppy at 11:49 AM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


I can't crack on a place that produced the man who gave us Flashlight.

I've scrolled past this like 10 times now and every time I read it as Fleshlight and then feel bad about myself.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:49 AM on December 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


West Brooklyn actually seems to capture the whole dynamic of it really well. That particular stretch of New Jersey seems to be one of the only places on the planet outside Brooklyn with a similar mix of white hipsters and yuppies, black folks, various immigrants, blue collar union guys, etc., all of whom have to ride the train together.
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 11:51 AM on December 8, 2011


That particular stretch of New Jersey seems to be one of the only places on the planet outside Brooklyn with a similar mix of white hipsters and yuppies, black folks, various immigrants, blue collar union guys, etc., all of whom have to ride the train together.

What's the opposite of "the melting pot"? A Swanson's TV dinner? Frozen and segregated by those little compartments.

West Brooklyn: America's Swanson's TV dinner.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:00 PM on December 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


Am I the only one who gets only an unreadably blurry image in a crappy Flash container?

Ya probly got yer glasses from New Yawk, didncha?

I'd take the strip of North Bergen, Hoboken, Jersey City, and Bayonne and label it "Basically New York," or something snarky like "West Brooklyn" (which captures the hipster aspect nicely).

Yeah, when I lived in Jersey City, I was struck by how the whole peninsula was even more New York like than Staten Island. It was nice enough, except for the lack of subway lines.

One big metric I've seen is which Big City you're turned toward, either NYC in the north, Philly in the south west, or that hazy middle where we imprison all our college students and state workers.

WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR NEWARK?
posted by dhartung at 12:19 PM on December 8, 2011


Listen, we've all collectively decided Newark doesn't exist. Don't shatter our illusions.
posted by The Whelk at 12:21 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Originally "Happy White Families", but there were huge Indian and Jewish populations in my town so I dunno about this.

I have never held much love for my home state, sad to say. One of the most depressing things you can do is take the Amtrak from upstate New York in to New Jersey. From Albany in to NYC it follows the Hudson - beautiful scenery, I mean absolutely gorgeous. Going home for Thanksgiving during college, you have the sun shining on the river and this explosion of colors from all the trees.

Then you go underground to Penn Station, and when you surface again you're in New Jersey where everything is brown and dead. That always made me sad.

Getting lost in Camden is truly terrifying, by the way.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:40 PM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR NEWARK?

In the memories of Philip Roth, mostly.

(I would really like to see this done to other states, and even countries.)
posted by IndigoJones at 12:44 PM on December 8, 2011


"Getting lost in Camden is truly terrifying, by the way."

I cannot emphasize this enough.
posted by keli at 1:12 PM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ask MetaFilter: "made of duct tape and sadness"
posted by schmod at 1:16 PM on December 8, 2011


Camden is the scariest place I've ever been in my life.
posted by nathancaswell at 1:23 PM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hoboken is more Drunk Frat Guys And Very Harassed Commuters.

Also North jersey is missing "Wealthy African-American Enclaves"


Whelk is right.

*waves to ob. JC represent.* Also: JC Hipsters? Really? They were priced out of Hoboken years ago but I've yet to see anyone on a fixie in my hood yet.
posted by stagewhisper at 1:29 PM on December 8, 2011


That map says that I live in Christie Country, but I don't even know anybody who voted for him.

The election results seem to confirm that sentiment-- the entire area marked Christie Country actually went democrat during the last Gov. election

(Also, I could use some Bischoff's ice-cream right about now)
posted by gwint at 2:08 PM on December 8, 2011


This thread is making me hungry for a hard roll with butter. I really miss New Jersey bakeries.
posted by octothorpe at 4:18 PM on December 8, 2011


There enough of us here in this thread for another Jersey City Indian Food Meetup?
posted by fings at 7:51 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


*waves to ob. JC represent.*

Back atcha stagewhisper!
posted by ob at 9:19 PM on December 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


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