Dart Vader

February 3, 2012 5:46 AM

One angry man brings the Southern California Darts Association to its knees
posted by beukeboom (85 comments total)

Christ M. Asshole
posted by DU at 5:51 AM on February 3 [52 favorites]

"Zaffina, however, doesn't understand why everyone's so angry."

Scumbag Zaffina California Darts Association -- not a bad ring to that, really.
posted by inigo2 at 5:55 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

It's not been a good few weeks for Italians, has it?
posted by atrazine at 5:56 AM on February 3

Self-important guy with too much time on his hands's gonna self-important too much, right?

On the other hand, I guess I can give him points for being willing to irritate a bunch of drunk guys who habitually carry weapons around. It's bad enough having a bulls-eye painted on you; just wait until they hammer in that wire framework.....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:58 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

Yes, Dingo Zaffina is a petty and juvenile asshole and the only reason why he got away with this is because he's shameless and without the sense of honor and camaraderie that probably made the real dart association a nice thing in the first place.

Since 1991, according to an online search of Los Angeles Superior Court records, Zaffina has been involved in at least 22 lawsuits, 18 of them as the plaintiff. They have ranged from small-claims cases to defamation and wrongful-termination claims.

Asshole.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:02 AM on February 3 [4 favorites]

I think the solution here is to re-incorporate as the Dino M. Zaffina Is A Pedophile Darts Association.
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:03 AM on February 3 [25 favorites]

It's not been a good few weeks for Italians, has it?

You can say that again!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:03 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

Finally, someone is standing up to those bullies at the darts association!
posted by gauche at 6:05 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

For the entirety of my darts league career, I was known as "Lindsay" because the team founders put in a bunch of generic unisex names on the team sheet in order to make minimum player requirements. I was pressganged into the team right after "Sam." They figured they could get away with it because we had a Tracey on the team who was a rather large dude who worked security.

Good times, good times. I miss playing darts every week at Harper's Ferry. I do not miss listening to ENTRAIN warm up every week, however.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:07 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

That was painful to read. If we're going to be living under a police state, I want them to set up an alarm that goes off after someone files their 10th personal lawsuit at a different defendant.
posted by yerfatma at 6:12 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

He was being a cocksucker, and you can quote me on that, please.

If only this came out of Obama's mouth after his meetings with Boehner...
posted by PenDevil at 6:15 AM on February 3 [9 favorites]

Started reading. Finished the 2nd paragraph. New exactly where this was going.
posted by schleppo at 6:15 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

Ugh. *Knew.

It's still early here.
posted by schleppo at 6:15 AM on February 3

The more I read, the more this guy reminds me of a former client of mine. What an entitled prick.
posted by gauche at 6:20 AM on February 3

I like how in the "More About" box, he's listed as "Dino Zaffina."
posted by Lucinda at 6:22 AM on February 3 [37 favorites]

It's not been a good few weeks for Italians, has it?

You can say that again!

Yeah, seriously!

Who would have thought that I could do a legitimate Godwinning of a darts thread?
posted by Lemurrhea at 6:23 AM on February 3

Some people are so weak... They find one way to be strong (filing lawsuits, in this case) and they use that to take revenge on the world for their shitty lives...
posted by chasing at 6:34 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]

Hello, my name is Inigo M. Montoya, you misspelled my name, prepare to die.
posted by XMLicious at 6:34 AM on February 3 [13 favorites]

Zaffina finds it all perfectly normal. He says the "M" stands for "Martin," that he was named after the suave Rat Pack crooner Dean "Dino" Martin, and launches into a story about how his father, who also used a middle initial and died when Zaffina was 8, drilled into him the importance of being called by his full name and demanding that everyone oblige.

I'm not sure I understand - is it a common thing to consider your first name, middle initial, and full name to be your "full name"? As I've always thought of the term, his "full name" would be "Dino Martin Zaffina", not "Dino M. Zaffina".
posted by Flunkie at 6:36 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

Darty deeds, done dart cheap
posted by TedW at 6:41 AM on February 3 [17 favorites]

I think the "cocksucker" comment was pretty damn accurate. What a frustrating little dork who apparently has not much of a life. He'll get his due, but it might be a long time coming.
posted by PuppyCat at 6:43 AM on February 3

Southern California Darts Association vs. Metafilter.

In further news, Dino M. Zaffina is now the proud owner of metafilter.net and metafilter.org.
posted by lstanley at 6:48 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

Dart-vader -- that's great!
posted by garisimo at 6:49 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

This guy is a dick. But as someone who has had to fight many, many times to have his name spelled and presented correctly in a variety of media, I would just point out that all this trouble could have been avoided if the guys in the darts league hadn't been dicks about this guy's name. If he wants the "M" in there, then put it in there.
posted by slkinsey at 6:52 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]

I fully expect a thinly-veiled version of this guy to show up as a victim in an upcoming episode of The Mentalist. For which he will probably sue them.
posted by TedW at 6:53 AM on February 3

This isn't 'Nam, it's darts. There are rules.
posted by cardboard at 6:53 AM on February 3 [15 favorites]

.... interesting read. Thanks for posting it.
posted by ph00dz at 6:54 AM on February 3

Wow, what a uber asshole.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 6:57 AM on February 3

He says the "M" stands for "Martin," that he was named after the suave Rat Pack crooner Dean "Dino" Martin...

Ain't that a kick in the head? Hey pallie, relax and have another drink.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:59 AM on February 3 [5 favorites]

Why even the need for some formal league? They should just have a buddies informal pickup schedule, rotating through the pubs. It can be called "informal drop-in darts" with the only rules being you have to be chill, and if we don't want to hang with you you can't play. And Dino ain't chill.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:01 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

Using cocksucker as an insult is quite shitty, guys.
posted by Drexen at 7:06 AM on February 3 [13 favorites]

a bunch of drunk guys who habitually carry weapons around

A dart is not a weapon any more than a shoelace is a garotte.
posted by mhoye at 7:10 AM on February 3 [4 favorites]

Oh, he's one of those guys. I used to work with this one guy - he was ok, kind of complained about things a little too much, but just a little shy of being a called a whiner. He always seemed to be having one beef or another with his neighbors.

Some of the guys at work were pretty avid outdoor motor sports guys. They'd go dirt-biking, water skiing, jet skiing and what not. Todd pointed out to me one day that they never included him, even though he had his own bikes and what not. They told me later it was because he had sued so many people - even family members - nobody wanted to take him anywhere. He was a walking legal bomb.
posted by Xoebe at 7:14 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

There's a special place in hell for spoilsports of this caliber.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:21 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]

DMZ Googlebomb operation now in effect
posted by user92371 at 7:21 AM on February 3

We have a local pizza place called Zaffiro's, which made reading this kind of frightening as I was constantly misspelling Zaffino's name in my mind.
posted by desjardins at 7:23 AM on February 3

Private or not - what a dick.
posted by DonnyMac at 7:38 AM on February 3

I think the "cocksucker" comment was pretty damn accurate.

Not really. When I see that term, I expect cock to be sucked, to have been sucked, or likely to be sucked in the near future. And, assuming everyone involved in the sucking experience is down with it, it should be a good word.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:39 AM on February 3 [9 favorites]

A dart is not a weapon any more than a shoelace is a garotte.

It is far easier for a dart to "go astray" than a shoe lace. Although I will concede that your experience may be different.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:40 AM on February 3

Guys like this. I swear. Stop taking yourself so seriously. It's Darts for goodness sake!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:40 AM on February 3

This Dean W. Zuffings seems like a real go-getter.
posted by Hoopo at 7:40 AM on February 3 [6 favorites]

ENTRAIN

Oh, God. They're still going?
posted by jsavimbi at 7:44 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

I think they should form a new dart league and call it "The Dino Zaffina Southern California Dart Association".
posted by Mcable at 7:46 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

Sigh. There's always one.

At some point every organization is going to get an individual like this as a member or an adversary.
posted by smoothvirus at 7:47 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

Oh, God. They're still going?

That's the name of their 34th album.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:55 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

Night Shyamalan should totally make a movie about this.
posted by rh at 8:08 AM on February 3 [5 favorites]

hahaha. I'm a member of the NYDO. Shit like this is a life and death for some people. The players spend more time rules lawyering and freaking out over minutiae than actually playing. League organizers are officious pricks who do their damndest to suck any fun out of the game. The only thing less fun is APA pool.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:08 AM on February 3

He must be a very lonely and insecure man. I kind of feel bad for him (though I'm sure that would change if I ever ha any personal interaction with him)
posted by ook at 8:10 AM on February 3

I think they should form a new dart league and call it "The Dino Zaffina Southern California Dart Association".

The Dino N. Zaffina Southern California Dart Association.
posted by Shepherd at 8:12 AM on February 3 [10 favorites]

This guy is a dick. But as someone who has had to fight many, many times to have his name spelled and presented correctly in a variety of media, I would just point out that all this trouble could have been avoided if the guys in the darts league hadn't been dicks about this guy's name. If he wants the "M" in there, then put it in there.

No. A thousand times no. If you want your name spelled correctly, that is a reasonable request. If you want your middle name or initial to ALWAYS be used, then go become a celebrity. Spelling someone's name correctly but leaving out his middle initial isn't being a dick to that person.
posted by 23skidoo at 8:12 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

No one has ladartsclub.com... yet.
posted by bz at 8:13 AM on February 3

The really, truly, painfully sad thing about this is that the SCDA -- even as an unincorporated association -- might have a plausible claim against Zaffina for trademark infringement. Control of a corporate registration doesn't give him exclusive rights to the name: the other players could well have a common-law trademark in it.

What a Gollum.
posted by grimmelm at 8:27 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

Y'know, they should schedule a league game at one of the fine motorcycle club establishments in LA, and then invite Dino F. Zippers down there. He'll unavoidably act the prick, and attempt legal recourse against a group not known for their abiding interest in legal behavior.
posted by klangklangston at 8:35 AM on February 3 [4 favorites]

Dino Zaffino, sad little man.
posted by DaddyNewt at 9:00 AM on February 3

Man, if anyone ever needed a cockpunching …
posted by kcds at 9:02 AM on February 3

every group seems to have a grade A pita that seems determined to get their way and piss on everyone else.

really, really sad.
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:04 AM on February 3

In a coincidence, my middle name is "Martin" and I use the middle initial "M" in my name in more formal contexts. But the idea of being upset if/when someone else didn't follow that convention has never occurred to me.

So my main thought is that this notion that his preferred form is the only acceptable form of his name is absurd.

However, it occurs to me that many people are sensitive to the use of shortened, casual forms of a first name (such as Dan for Daniel—which is arguably distinct from variant casual forms, such as Bob for Robert)—and rightly so. If Dan for Daniel isn't necessarily acceptable, then why should D for Daniel necessarily be acceptable? Well, I'm the first to argue that slippery-slope arguments are not conclusive and that it's reasonable to draw a line here rather than there. Still, it can't be a qualitative, principled thing or we'd have to say that each individual should have their preference about how their name is presented unfailingly accommodated (or never).

Then, I guess, the most reasonable conclusion about this particular brouhaha is that it's better for people to follow his preference, when they know about it, and when it's not too inconvenient, but that it's not something where his preference trumps all other considerations.

So, yeah, he was a jerk about this.

But given his history, if it wasn't the name thing, it would have been something else. He's a bully who's found his preferred means of bullying. And, similarly, if not this kind of bullying, it would be another (and probably is, to some extent). It's just a shame that this is such an effective way of being a bully.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 9:11 AM on February 3

thinking about what you said, it is odd. growing up I used to have a real sensitivity to my name. when you're young and named Andrew everyone wants to call you Andy, a name that continues to grate for me. (don't know why, suspect the diminutive 'y')

i used to be a real stick in the mud about that until someone hit upon the nickname of 'drew' and that took off.

so yeah, i get the sensitivity about names, but seriously, you're middle initial? unless you're a president, famous or rich go blow
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:23 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

Since 1991, according to an online search of Los Angeles Superior Court records, Zaffina has been involved in at least 22 lawsuits, 18 of them as the plaintiff. They have ranged from small-claims cases to defamation and wrongful-termination claims....

...Zaffina, however, disputes the idea that he's a litigious person, pointing to the fact that none of his lawsuits — most of which he eventually won or settled — was ever dismissed as frivolous.

"I go after people under the guidelines of the law because that's the way to do it ... ," Zaffina says. "When I have a legitimate claim against somebody, I go for it because that's the right thing to do and it's my prerogative. I live in a free country that says we have the right to seek redress of our grievances in a court of law, and thank God for that."

I would honestly be surprised if this guy has any friends. What an ass.
posted by Hoopo at 9:25 AM on February 3

Sometimes a person is SUCH an asshole, you find yourself cheering for them.

This is not one of those cases.
posted by LordSludge at 9:39 AM on February 3

mhoye: A dart is not a weapon any more than a shoelace is a garotte."

Yeah everyone knows a shoelace is a machine gun.
posted by the_artificer at 9:44 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]

In my job I deal with a lot of things that often wind up in small claims or other courts. Guys like this, while rare, are the worst. Arrogant during and after whatever dealings they might have with you, win or lose, playing lawyer and citing cases and laws that often don't even apply, and wasting everyone's time out of spite or ego. In a lot of cases people just fold and treat litigants like this as a "nuisance", easier and cheaper to just pay out than to fight.

By luck, the place I work now won't do this, ever, being very concerned with precedent. If we're wrong, we'll settle. If we think we're right, we will fight, in court if necessary, even over a piddly amount like $500 that assholes like this figure we'll just pay to avoid legal costs. It is just *so satisfying* sometimes.
posted by Hoopo at 9:49 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

Is there a smartphone app that can tell when you are dangerously close to a litigious person?
posted by parudox at 10:03 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

...playing lawyer...

It does say that this guy has a law degree, he's just not a member of the bar.
posted by XMLicious at 10:17 AM on February 3

No, but you can go down to the court building and look up their records. I did this once with a prospective landlord who gave me a bad vibe, and boy was I ever glad I did.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:18 AM on February 3 [4 favorites]

And it wasn't even that they wouldn't update his name on the website, it was that the guy who was going to do it said he'd get to it after the movie he was watching. (Plus some people gave him a hard time about it by email.) WTF, dude?
posted by epersonae at 10:28 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]

I wish I knew this guy. I would take great delight in getting his name wrong on every possible occasion and in as many different ways as possible.
posted by Decani at 10:30 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]

For the next nanowrimo, I'm gonna write a novel about Zaffina and Decani joining a whisk(e)y appreciation club.
posted by Dumsnill at 10:45 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]

It does say that this guy has a law degree, he's just not a member of the bar.

Yes he's used this to his advantage in his lawsuit against Target involving an injury on an escalator.
posted by Hoopo at 10:49 AM on February 3

I have to wonder if his refusal to accept mail that does not include his middle initial could be used against him.

That said, I'm pretty sure the joy in the thought that he will die lonely and sad will suffice for me.
posted by poe at 10:52 AM on February 3

This is why he can't have nice things.
posted by polymodus at 11:24 AM on February 3

Old'n'Busted - "an uber asshole."

Don't make me bring you to small claims literary Strunk and White court. Seriously, what WERE you thinking?
posted by rich at 11:54 AM on February 3

I would take great delight in getting his name wrong on every possible occasion and in as many different ways as possible.

I don't think Domi B. Zaftigula would appreciate that.
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 11:57 AM on February 3

@puppycat

isnt calling a guy a 'cocksucker' kind of using a homophobic slur, though
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 12:23 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]

I used to be a dart-thrower like you, then my sporting association took a dart in the knee.
posted by gurple at 12:37 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]

isnt calling a guy a 'cocksucker' kind of using a homophobic slur, though

I don't know what his love of poultry has to do with his gender identity!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 1:33 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]

As someone whose name gets hideously misspelled and mispronounced (It's 'Geoff', not "Gee-off", and I will correct you quite archly if you can't get that right, barbarian), I have to say...

This should only be an issue if there's two guys named 'Dino Zaffina' and they need to differentiate.
posted by mephron at 1:37 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]

isnt calling a guy a 'cocksucker' kind of using a homophobic slur, though

Only if you are spectacularly literal. Motherfuckers do not necessarily have to have had sexual intercourse with their mothers; a douchebag does not necessarily have to have held feminine sanitary products.
posted by Fnarf at 2:54 PM on February 3 [5 favorites]

oh so it is like a joke of some sort

i am glad that it is not a real problem
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:06 PM on February 3

Guys like this. I swear. Stop taking yourself so seriously. It's Darts for goodness sake!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:40 AM on February 3 [+] [!]

Ruthless Bunny, you must not know many dart players. They take everything involving darts way too seriously. My parents run dart tournaments for a fraternal organization and I assure you, many, many dart players take themselves too seriously. I will say I have never heard of anything like this though.

I mean I am a stickler for my name being spelled correctly, but it is because I grew up with a last name that no one could spell or pronounce. This guy? An asshole. For crying out loud, it is a damn middle initial. I hope the SCDA files a counter suit as they should have a copyright claim as they have been using the name for so many years, regardless of corporate claim.
posted by SuzySmith at 3:13 PM on February 3

i am glad that it is not a real problem

It is a huge problem, and I think we should start a crusade to ensure no more words that can be interpreted as homophobic slurs ever again get uttered by old men hanging out in pubs and playing darts. I mean, the kids look up to these guys! We'll call it the "This Of Course Alludes To The Treatment of Dino R. Zoltino Campaign For The Eradiction of Swearing and Mean Words in Darts." We'll shame these dart-tossing bastards back into a dank smoky corner of some crappy run-down watering hole, where they belong!
posted by Hoopo at 4:01 PM on February 3

MeTa.
posted by Drexen at 5:07 PM on February 3

Hmmm... dinomzaffino.com is showing as available for purchase...
posted by MegoSteve at 5:57 PM on February 3

>>This guy is a dick. But as someone who has had to fight many, many times to have his name spelled and presented correctly in a variety of media, I would just point out that all this trouble could have been avoided if the guys in the darts league hadn't been dicks about this guy's name. If he wants the "M" in there, then put it in there.

No. A thousand times no. If you want your name spelled correctly, that is a reasonable request. If you want your middle name or initial to ALWAYS be used, then go become a celebrity. Spelling someone's name correctly but leaving out his middle initial isn't being a dick to that person.

No, you're just wrong about this. Names can be a very personal and personally important thing to people. Someone whose name is Kathryn, for example, may be fine with Kaye but not with Kathy or Kate and certainly not with Catherine. People who suggest that it's no big deal and you should be fine with Cathy on the league web site... well, they're assholes.

I'm betting, by the way, that if the way his name was presented was this important to him, that he scrupulously included the "M" in all his registration materials, etc. Meaning that the league had to blow off the way he clearly indicated he wanted his name presented.

If someone wants to be called by a certain name, or have his name spelled, pronounced or presented a certain way, it's simply common courtesy to spell, pronounce or present it that way. Some people don't think this is a big deal. Others do. And that's their right. More to the point, it's would have been a simple matter of 30 seconds' work for the club to have corrected it after having been asked. But they decided to be assholes about it instead, insist that "it's no big deal" and refuse to make the change on that basis.

I guess they learned that it can be a big deal, because they ran into someone willing to be a bigger asshole than they. He's certainly the big asshole in taking it this far. But that doesn't mean that they aren't also assholes in this situation. Let's not forget that all it would have taken was a single one-letter correction on the league website, and none of this would have happened.
posted by slkinsey at 6:28 AM on February 4

Let's not forget that all it would have taken was a single one-letter correction on the league website, and none of this would have happened.

They did correct it in one place on the website, but then it was appearing without the "M" in some kind of ticker thing across the top of the page. And they did it, just 20 minutes later than he wanted. It's not just that he wants people to use his middle initial, it's that he wants people at his beck and call. He's a complete ass.
posted by palliser at 7:53 AM on February 4