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STACHE act
February 28, 2012 2:40 PM   Subscribe

On April 1, the American Mustache Institute hopes to organize a Million Mustache March on Washington DC, in support of the proposed STACHE act (Stimulus to Allow for Critical Hair Expenses). “The Stache Act (Stimulus to Allow for Critical Hair Expenses) aims to earn a well-deserved $250 annual tax deduction for every Mustached American for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies."

A staffer working for Representative Roscoe Bartlett fell for the hoax and forwarded the act to the House Ways and Means committee.
posted by Chocolate Pickle (43 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Oh, heck. Sorry for the redundancy in the post.

And sorry for repeating myself.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:46 PM on February 28, 2012


Cake is a made up drug.
posted by munchingzombie at 2:47 PM on February 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


I moustache you a question....
posted by jquinby at 2:47 PM on February 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


It's not any less insane than a lot of other legislation.

That said, no. We need *fewer* tax loopholes, nor more.
posted by notsnot at 2:48 PM on February 28, 2012


First they came for the soul patched.
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 2:49 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


How completely unfair to Bearded People. Why don't our representatives ever remember the chin hairs?
posted by bearwife at 2:55 PM on February 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


As a mustached American I think we should give the $250 bucks to those that are, for whatever reason, mustache deficient. I don't like living it a world where people, through no fault of their own, have to go mustacheless. The $250 might do something to ease their suffering. They can spend it on prosthetic mustaches, or cheap liquor to numb the pain. Those of us with mustaches sometimes take them for granted, forget the privilege of possessing hair on our upper lip. We have to make this right.
posted by Ad hominem at 2:59 PM on February 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


This concept and the name Bartlett made me think of "Big Block of Cheese Day." But I guess that was more Leo McGarry's thing.
posted by m@f at 3:00 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


As long as there is equal protection under the law for those of us who keep our mustache in our pants.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:06 PM on February 28, 2012


How completely unfair to Bearded People. Why don't our representatives ever remember the chin hairs?

Until we get a genuine, unreserved apology and reparations for the soul patch, then I don't think the Bearded should be considered.
posted by ODiV at 3:07 PM on February 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


WAX STACHE TAX
WAX STACHE TAX
posted by nathancaswell at 3:07 PM on February 28, 2012


Can I get a tax break for the expense of removing my moustache?
posted by padraigin at 3:15 PM on February 28, 2012


Keep on rockin' the stache (I'm rockin' the stache)
Make your stand, celebrate the skin
Beneath your nose, ever grander grows, the stache
posted by straight at 3:17 PM on February 28, 2012


Just another bailout for Big Mustache.
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:17 PM on February 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


I'd totally take that tax credit.

I'd also be willing to let the IRS audit my moustache growth rate to verify the expense.
posted by Slackermagee at 3:20 PM on February 28, 2012


Oh sure, first we give tax breaks for the moustaches, then for the monocles, and before you know it...
posted by entropicamericana at 3:28 PM on February 28, 2012


munchingzombie: "Cake is a made up drug"

It's a dangerous world, where even the drug dealers on the streets can't keep track of what's out there.
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:28 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I believe in giving back to the community. May I suggest Moustache Rides for the follicularly challenged to share the experience with those of us blessed to have them?
posted by scalefree at 3:29 PM on February 28, 2012


...tax deduction for every Mustached American...

I prefer mustachioed; it's one of my favorite words.
posted by coolguymichael at 3:40 PM on February 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


I prefer mustachioed;

Differently hirsute.
posted by eriko at 3:46 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Just another bailout for Big Mustache.

You leave the porn industry out of this; they have enough issues as it is.
posted by griphus at 3:55 PM on February 28, 2012


Differently hirsute.

According to the Mustache Institute, it's "Person of Mustache".
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:56 PM on February 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


Roscoe Bartlett is 85 years old, the second-oldest person in Congress, and has been elected for nearly 20 years by an increasingly conservative district. (His district includes Carroll County, whose crackpot County Commissioners recently took a stand against sustainability by "pulling out of" the UN's Agenda 21 because they believe it is a step toward a one world government.) He is poised to lose his district in the upcoming Maryland redistricting.
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:01 PM on February 28, 2012


Are we pre-announcing April Fools jokes now?
posted by kalessin at 4:07 PM on February 28, 2012


How completely unfair to Bearded People.

We do OK.
posted by milquetoast at 4:18 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


You know who else had a mustache?
posted by stargell at 4:23 PM on February 28, 2012


Are we pre-announcing April Fools jokes now?

Every day is April Fool's Day in Washington!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:29 PM on February 28, 2012


Goatees don't count?

FUCK YOU PURIST? I'll DO MY OWN MARCH! IT"LL BE LIKE DYLAN PLUGGING IN MOTHERFUCKER!!
posted by jonmc at 4:48 PM on February 28, 2012


In any other era you might expect this bill to be axed by the supremes on equal protection grounds. But not on the Roberts court!

He is poised to lose his district in the upcoming Maryland redistricting.

May his poise pay off.
posted by clarknova at 4:52 PM on February 28, 2012


I started growing a full beard over ski week (we get a week off for presidents' day, since many of our kids go skiing for the whole week anyway...).

Monday, I could see my (first grade) students staring at the stubble, but no one said anything until a previous student (sixth grade this year) mentioned it. Today, my girls were daring each other to say to me, "Do you have a beard?"

"Yes...sort of..."

"I love it!"

I'm not sure whether they're mocking me or not, but I have to say, I love my job either way.
posted by Huck500 at 6:12 PM on February 28, 2012


I just think the idea of a million men with moustaches gathered in the same place is wonderful. I hope there's a giant flicker stream available after the event.

Fun fact: back in the early days of the bear movement, men with moustaches were called "behrs".
posted by hippybear at 6:31 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hippybear, I've got a clue for you: there will be no march.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:11 PM on February 28, 2012


Well, this certainly didn't cross my desk.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:15 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Huck500: beards are always the right choice. My students live in awe of mine, which they seem to think took me years to grow, though it gets like this in less than a semester, left unchecked.
posted by Dr.Enormous at 7:16 PM on February 28, 2012


Well, that's what I get for skimming and not actually reading the links.

So very sad now.

Can we have a march anyway, even without the tax credit? I'd support that.
posted by hippybear at 7:25 PM on February 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


let's organize it, hippy bear!
posted by PinkMoose at 7:28 PM on February 28, 2012


Last week when I accidentally got locked out of my bedroom, in browsing through our junk drawer in search of a tool with which to open the door, I found a box of mustache bandages. When I couldn't get the door open and got frustrated, I broke out the mustache bandages because dammit, if I couldn't get into my room, I needed a fun diversion. The mustaches served admirably. And the next morning I was able to get the door open.

In conclusion: mustaches for everyone! They fix everything.
posted by needs more cowbell at 7:39 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


This may be a parody, but there are also real moustache movements.
posted by eye of newt at 7:59 PM on February 28, 2012


My moustache!

Steven Magnet makes everything 20% more fabulous!
posted by SPrintF at 8:00 PM on February 28, 2012


I for one ... mustachioed overlords.
posted by DaddyNewt at 8:58 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Fugetabowtit. Tax the damn things. Tax them out of existence.
posted by Goofyy at 8:59 PM on February 28, 2012


The Train Depot Museum in Nampa, Idaho has the finest collection of mustache cups that I have ever seen.
posted by straight at 10:38 PM on February 28, 2012


I for one ... mustachioed overlords.

Your fealty will be rewarded.




With pie.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:54 AM on February 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


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