Join 3,427 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)

Tags:

Nipples
March 22, 2012 12:18 AM   Subscribe

Nipples at the Met: "A database of all the nipples on view in the permanent collection at the Metropolitan Museum of Art." Updated regularly
posted by vacapinta (41 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
Huh. I thought each picture would go to a picture and description of the artwork. It doesn't. It's just nipples all the way down.
posted by Garm at 12:28 AM on March 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


LOL! Who thought that 'exhibit' up? Surely some artist or errant curator who knows a bit of Photoshop and a little more HTML.

That's worth 2 points.You have 3 to go.

It's not 1997 anymore, and fart jokes are out.

What else have you got for me?
posted by vhsiv at 12:36 AM on March 22, 2012


Is the second one a nipple or a nostril?
posted by pracowity at 1:04 AM on March 22, 2012


It's just nipples all the way down

Actually, that one used to be in SoHo.
posted by gwint at 1:17 AM on March 22, 2012


I don't know if it's art, but I like it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:18 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't know if I'd say "database." Was definitely expecting more info about each one.
posted by lostburner at 1:24 AM on March 22, 2012


Now take all these nipples and use them
to create a portrait of Chuck Close.
...I like huge collections of mundane things.
Its that minimalism thing that gets my aesthetic blood going.

PS...not that nipples in themselves are mundane.
posted by quazichimp at 1:28 AM on March 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Actually, that one used to be in SoHo.

Oh man, that statue was there when I lived in Soho in 1994. Definitely iconic.
posted by vacapinta at 1:41 AM on March 22, 2012


It's...it's endless.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 1:49 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


A rather myopic treatment of the subject to be sure.
With an Ed Gein quality to it.
posted by joost de vries at 2:16 AM on March 22, 2012


Breast of the web.
posted by ShutterBun at 2:42 AM on March 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


Now we're cooking with gas. If this isn't what the Internet is for then I've completely misunderstood everything I thought it was very obviously about.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:48 AM on March 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


It's...it's endless.

It's the "Nipples at the Met" site, not the "Buttocks at the Met" site.
posted by chavenet at 2:57 AM on March 22, 2012


"Buttocks at the Met"

Can I sign up for some kind of notification if this ever happens? (eponysterical, etc.)
posted by ShutterBun at 3:12 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Titillating.
posted by ColdChef at 4:05 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


If only we still had an Attorney General that would cover these things up. What if kids see these?? Even worse, what if kids see these and expect real nipples to really look like them?
posted by inigo2 at 4:37 AM on March 22, 2012


This is the kind of blatant obscenity that would get Santorum worked up into a proper froth.
posted by isopraxis at 4:54 AM on March 22, 2012


Are those all female nipples? I want to make sure I'm not about to do something gay.
posted by CaseyB at 5:35 AM on March 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


I would like to see Scrotums at the Met, in order to test a friend's hypothesis that in classical art, the left one always hangs low. I'm sure that database will be along shortly.
posted by beagle at 5:40 AM on March 22, 2012


Art deconstructed.

I'd love to see this carried further: "Body Parts at the Met" with categories for nipples, eyes (how cool would that be?), fingers/toes, buttocks, schlongs, breasts, arms, noses (sad Sphinx is sad), and mouths.
posted by zarq at 5:43 AM on March 22, 2012


The best part of this post is this: Updated regularly
posted by Fizz at 5:44 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'd love to see this carried further: "Body Parts at the Met" with categories for nipples, eyes (how cool would that be?), fingers/toes, buttocks, schlongs, breasts, arms, noses (sad Sphinx is sad), and mouths.

My wife (art history geek) has gotten me to pay attention to ears and feet. Great markers of artistic style as well as a Mendelian trait.
posted by vacapinta at 5:53 AM on March 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Cocks well Met?
posted by taff at 5:53 AM on March 22, 2012


All I want to know is if the total is even or odd.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:57 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


God help us if Paz de la Huerta ever walks through the door...
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:24 AM on March 22, 2012


Having a new daughter has changed my view of nipples, after watching how eagerly she hunts them out everywhere. Air, bedsheets, arms, and my beard. They're clearly her favorite "thing", to use the most general meaning. Extending her massive needs and desire for nipples more makes more clear why societies are obsessed with them.

And also helps, if only a tiny bit, explain to me why US culture has a very weird and unhealthy relationship with them. (Anything that's needed that much and gives so much joy can't be good, so it has to be hidden. But since they do do that, lots of people will want to look at them anyway.)

So, uh, more nipples I say. Of all kinds.
posted by skynxnex at 6:47 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


THIS IS IMPORTANT WORK
posted by Foosnark at 6:56 AM on March 22, 2012


This is tits!
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:07 AM on March 22, 2012


I remember reading an advice column (askmen or some other light reading that I did not pay for) where a woman wrote in and asked: "Ok, men, tell it to me straight. Are big breasts really better than little ones?" No, said the column writer, they're all good. They have only two requirements: 1) accessibility and 2) nipples.
posted by Melismata at 8:00 AM on March 22, 2012


It's not funny, it's art.
posted by bwerdmuller at 8:27 AM on March 22, 2012


They have only two requirements: 1) accessibility and 2) nipples.

And style?
posted by gorgor_balabala at 9:04 AM on March 22, 2012


OOh, how about a database of every single floor tile at the Met. That would be hawt.

Saxon Kane posted: This is tits!

Umm, no, no this is NIPPLES.
posted by JJ86 at 9:44 AM on March 22, 2012


Is it cold in here or are you just happy to see me?
posted by billcicletta at 9:45 AM on March 22, 2012


For some reason I thought the description was telling me about flashing at the Met.

The site reminds me of this book;
posted by bongo_x at 9:56 AM on March 22, 2012


The post needs a SFW label.
posted by fredludd at 10:23 AM on March 22, 2012


Now take all these nipples and use them to create a portrait of Chuck Close.

ART!

posted by chortly at 12:41 PM on March 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


ART!


that's... quite disturbing. (thanks!)
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:42 PM on March 22, 2012


why would there be a nipple museum?
posted by BobS13 at 2:31 PM on March 22, 2012


This thread is not complete without Bongwater's "Obscene and Pornographic Art." Specifically for the line about the "pink egg tempura nipples."
posted by gingerbeer at 10:05 PM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


why would there be a nipple museum?

For the benefit of our future descendants, who will genetically engineer themselves so that all genders (many, many more than two) can generate detachable skin-bags of room-temperature stable, nutritionally-perfect milk, will know how we did things oldskool. This is also why all porn, no matter how risible, must be archived.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:23 PM on March 23, 2012


Opera Speed dial, meet your endless supply of tiled backgrounds.
posted by jwhite1979 at 9:49 AM on March 24, 2012


« Older Women in the bondage and kink scene are speaking o...  |  Jake Kelly is a Cleveland, OH,... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments