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Do the Trash Compactor!
April 2, 2012 6:33 PM   Subscribe

Dancing with Han Solo is a real thing that exists.
posted by DoctorFedora (99 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
An Xbox exclusive for at least the time being. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing remains unclear.
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:34 PM on April 2, 2012


Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing remains unclear.

This is how I felt when watching this.
posted by sweetkid at 6:37 PM on April 2, 2012


Made With SongSmith™ Technology!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:38 PM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Is this canon?
posted by brundlefly at 6:41 PM on April 2, 2012 [22 favorites]


I saw this earlier today and thought, "Somebody in an office somewhere in the Presidio headquarters of LucasArts actually looked at this final product and said, 'Yes.'"

I don't know exactly what that means. But that event, that sign-off, actually had to happen for this to have been released. There was an approval process, with multiple, multiple layers. People's entire livelihoods center on this approval process -- simply managing approval processes these complex is a key executive skill. There was likely several rounds of back and forth, as changes and adjustments were made. Demos were performed. Emails were sent. Forms were filled out.

And this made it all the way through that entire process to land before you today.

Like I said, I don't know what this means. But it happened.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:42 PM on April 2, 2012 [28 favorites]


Nothing remains unclear. There is no hidden meaning. This sucks more than anything has ever sucked.
posted by swift at 6:44 PM on April 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Was that Lobot dropping the phat beats?
posted by jquinby at 6:44 PM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I HATE THIS FUTURE
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:45 PM on April 2, 2012 [12 favorites]


Says a lot about how great those old timey set and costume designers were.
posted by Catblack at 6:46 PM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I don't get it. This looks awesome.
posted by ShawnStruck at 6:48 PM on April 2, 2012 [6 favorites]


Wait'll you see Jar Jar do a little shuffle-n-jive.
posted by Nelson at 6:50 PM on April 2, 2012


The remaining Star Wars fans (there are lots!) have gotten comfortable with the fact that their favorite intellectual property exists to get them to buy crap they don't want. Their ironic detachment to the whole business, their hours-long excoriations of the shit they bought, that stuff keeps them buying.
posted by LogicalDash at 6:52 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm making the "frozen in carbonite" face.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:52 PM on April 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


Aww, man, I was hoping Lando's betrayal would be revealed in the middle of the song.
posted by jcreigh at 6:53 PM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


HAN DANCED FIRST.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:53 PM on April 2, 2012 [15 favorites]


Hey, Elvisisdead is online!
posted by charred husk at 6:55 PM on April 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'M WOOKIEE AND I KNOW IT
posted by briank at 6:55 PM on April 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


I HATE THIS FUTURE

Nonono - "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away"
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:56 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Heaven forbid Star Wars do something that looks fun and funny.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 6:58 PM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Darkest Timeline.
posted by Wataki at 6:58 PM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


This puts the whining about the Mass Effect 3 ending into perspective.
posted by danb at 6:58 PM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I saw this earlier today and thought, "Somebody in an office somewhere in the Presidio headquarters of LucasArts actually looked at this final product and said, 'Yes.'"

I don't know exactly what that means. But that event, that sign-off, actually had to happen for this to have been released. There was an approval process, with multiple, multiple layers. People's entire livelihoods center on this approval process -- simply managing approval processes these complex is a key executive skill. There was likely several rounds of back and forth, as changes and adjustments were made. Demos were performed. Emails were sent. Forms were filled out.

And this made it all the way through that entire process to land before you today.


I don't know if it was Matthowie, Ze Frank, or any of a number of people I really look up to, but someone in that grouping put up a screenshot of the first revision of the Jabba the Hut meets Han Solo retcon from the "updated" Star Wars: A New Hope, and really pointed out, explicitly, how terrible that was, and therefore how little care went into the thing. It was awesome.

I can't find the original writing, so this will have to do.
posted by jscott at 7:01 PM on April 2, 2012


I just came in to say I watched it all, despite being creeped out. Uncanny valley meets.. whatever that thing was.
posted by Glinn at 7:01 PM on April 2, 2012


As a super tangential thing, I did a demo/spec amount of art for a possible Sesame Street game (yes, if you know me, this is as fucked up as it sounds) and I had to do computer art of some of the characters, including one I was really proud of, a Cookie Monster Eating a Floppy while it said "Turn over the Disk".

It was drummed into me how reverent and meaningful and important these characters were, how critical it was to respect them and not fuck with them and do it just so.

That didn't happen in this Kinect game.

posted by jscott at 7:05 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wow, that is amazingly lame, bad dancing. Han would be ashamed. If Harrison Ford still gave a crap, even he would be all "WTF?"

Just...wow.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:07 PM on April 2, 2012


I guess I'd better learn this dance before wedding season.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 7:07 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh hell, I forgot I'm on the Internet and of course someone would have all three Han Solo Meets Jabba Reels up.
posted by jscott at 7:08 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I like that the lyrics explicitly mention how he just got out of the carbonite, and being in Cloud City. In the same song. Unironically.
posted by Skorgu at 7:09 PM on April 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Well, I tried to hate that, and I'm usually quite adept at hating things. But, it made me laugh so eat it. This is great.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:09 PM on April 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Watch out. If you do that elbow "falcon in flight" dance move in a crowded club you will probably be surrounded by unconcious bodies before too long.
posted by Winnemac at 7:09 PM on April 2, 2012


There is a Stormtrooper-themed parody of "YMCA," which made me laugh.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 7:12 PM on April 2, 2012


THE BEAT HAS DROPPED.

PRAY IT DOES NOT DROP... FURTHER.
posted by Artw at 7:13 PM on April 2, 2012 [48 favorites]


Also, the best Star Wars song.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 7:13 PM on April 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Yo, yo check it...

White X-wing, blue milk sippin'
White Leia dress, blue saber grippin'
Yep, yep, that shit look like a womp rat
Second death star? Bitch, I destroy that.

Padwans love me, I'm in my swamp gear
Yoda teach me, to conquer my fear
He sink my spaceship, I force grip it
Lost my hand? Bitch, you trippin'

Look at me now, look at me now,
Oh, I'm remastered.
Look at me now, look at me now.
three-dee-like-a-muth-fucka'
posted by codacorolla at 7:14 PM on April 2, 2012 [6 favorites]


I do like the exploding Death Star disco ball.
posted by schoolgirl report at 7:15 PM on April 2, 2012


This is a perfect example of why over the past 12 years Star Trek has overtaken Star Wars as my favorite sf franchise. As far as movies and television are concerned that is.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:15 PM on April 2, 2012


Man, I don't care what anyone says. I loved that video unironically and completely. I was smiling for hours after I first saw it, and am considering picking up SW Kinect in the near future.
posted by HostBryan at 7:16 PM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


Also, the best Star Wars song.

I'll see your Bill Murray and raise you an MC Chris
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:20 PM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oh and I only got 54 seconds into the fpp before my eyes started bleeding.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:21 PM on April 2, 2012


Disco ball was a nice touch!
posted by dfender at 7:28 PM on April 2, 2012


Needs American Idol applause/white noise SFX.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:29 PM on April 2, 2012


Is this canon?

If I had to guess, this particular scene and song are probably in LucasFilm's master Holocron continuity database under N-Level Non-Canon material, since it directly contridicts the G-Level Canon of EpV:ESB depicting the Carbon Freezing Chamber as being decidedly not partylike. Now if there are other dance venues in the game that wouldn't contridct the Word of George, (Jabba's Palace, any of the nightclubs in the Uscru Entertainment District of Coruscant), then those could possibly rise to the level of S-Level "Secondary" Canon -- available to be used or ignored by current authors as need dictates.

While most modern works usually fall into at least C-Level "Continuity" Canon (if for nothing else the fact that they have a database, and an employee, Leland Chee, whose full time job is to keep the continuity of the Extended Universe straight), games are a special case: Overall plotlines and specific characters can be C-Level, but specific game mechanics typically aren't. A game like Star Wars Kinect, which at first blush seems to be nothing but game mechanics, with no defining plot at all, is likely to have no overall impact on future Extended Universe works.

In short, it's about as important to Star Wars Canon as Masters of Teräs Käsi was.
posted by radwolf76 at 7:35 PM on April 2, 2012 [11 favorites]


This is objectively the best thing ever.
posted by the painkiller at 7:40 PM on April 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


Well, I tried to hate that, and I'm usually quite adept at hating things. But, it made me laugh so eat it. This is great.


Man, I don't care what anyone says. I loved that video unironically and completely. I was smiling for hours after I first saw it, and am considering picking up SW Kinect in the near future.

Yeah, maybe it's the mood I'm in but I thought that was great. I guess I'm kinda sick of hating on new Star Wars stuff. I can ignore the prequels and other new media to narrow my personal Star Wars universe to the original trilogy and still get a kick out of this.
posted by Start with Dessert at 7:42 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


It was better before I found out it was a barely-reworked version of an existing song. When I thought someone wrote a bland R&B song that was sort of about Han Solo but not actually about Han Solo specifically for this purpose it was AWESOME.
posted by doift at 7:43 PM on April 2, 2012


I bet Anakin and Ahsoka would have some good dance moves.
posted by Artw at 7:43 PM on April 2, 2012


I have been quite suspect of the Kinect with its Big-Brother-tracking-your-every-move aspect, but that seemed like it would be quite fun. And good call on getting Lobot to bring the noise!
posted by Metro Gnome at 7:54 PM on April 2, 2012


I wanted to be open-minded about this.

I hated it.

But, you know, the whole world isn't made for me, and I guess there are folks out there who will find this appealing and a good way to continue their appreciation of that character. So, okay. I get that.

Gah. Why does it make me feel icky?
posted by batmonkey at 8:00 PM on April 2, 2012


I actually own a CD of Christmas in the Stars and when younger, choreographed multiple horrible dances to such hits as "What Do You Get a Wookie For Christmas" multiple years in a row. So I suspect I will love this product, disco ball included.
posted by jetlagaddict at 8:00 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


oh god it has a Trash Compactor dance move!!

look, we danced with lightsabers in front of the white house after my prom; if this existed in high school I probably would have skipped prom all together
posted by jetlagaddict at 8:02 PM on April 2, 2012


Gah. Why does it make me feel icky?

It's an unpleasant reminder that the consumer goods that made you happy as a child are just that: so much plastic and memetic froth to be molded in to whatever particular fetishistic object some algorithm at Skywalker Ranch (R) decides is most profitable. Your Ninja Turtles, your Howdy Doody, your AGE APPROPRIATE NOSTALGIA ITEM have always been empty advertisements for overpriced dolls assembled by Chinese slaves. No one is ruining your childhood, they're just making it profitable for the next flock of children.

Nobody likes to think about this. It's comfortable to keep distance between the things that keep you sane in a postmodern void without meaning (your entertainments) and the way that these things tie you even closer to that very system. Seeing an uncanny-valley virtualization of Han Solo dancing to Jason Derulo is like a person coming up to you on the subway platform, looking deep in your eyes, and saying "you're going to die." Accurate, but unnecessary, and unnerving.
posted by codacorolla at 8:06 PM on April 2, 2012 [19 favorites]


I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special on television when it aired in 1978. You have nothing to complain about here.
posted by girlhacker at 8:16 PM on April 2, 2012 [6 favorites]



Is this canon ?
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:16 PM on April 2, 2012


Even as a horribly rendered representation, doing pathetically contrived dance moves, Han Solo still manages to be the sexiest thing in tight pants ever. Damn did Harrison Ford rock his look back in the day.
posted by Blasdelb at 8:17 PM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


If I watch it all the way through someone will someone say APRIL FOOLS? Seriously, I am okay with this spoiler. Please?
posted by Dr. Zira at 8:18 PM on April 2, 2012


It's OK, but it's not in the same league as "I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper by Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip.

Yes, that Sarah Brightman.
posted by Mad_Carew at 8:19 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ctrl-F "shovel"

Not Found

Metafilter, you are really letting me down.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:24 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


No one is ruining your childhood, they're just making it profitable for the next flock of children.

On some level you're right of course. But it's pretty jarring to see that someone so far removed from what was great about the original franchise gets to actually make this crap. I mean, I would like to think the custodians of the canon were 10 year old kids in 1977 who thought Star Wars was the freaking greatest thing ever (there are millions of us!). This clearly is not the case.

yes, yes of course George Lucas is one of those people that doesn't get what was great about his films, and I suppose that's the reason stuff like this exists.

It's pretty hard to imagine what could out do this, in terms of shock value. don't disappoint me metafilter.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:25 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


AElfwine Evenstar: This is a perfect example of why over the past 12 years Star Trek has overtaken Star Wars as my favorite sf franchise...

I find this interesting given that it's been almost 12 years since Voyager ended and televised Star Trek more-or-less fizzled out. Then of course we had the J.J. Abrams "reboot" (although I hate that term). Meanwhile, Lucas has been steadily churning out new canon Star Wars material since The Phantom Menace in '99. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but for me [continually expanding canon with varying levels of quality] > [trying to restart a classic franchise by turning it into an action movie].
posted by FreelanceBureaucrat at 8:35 PM on April 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Don't blame me, I told Kershner and Ford to stick to the script.
posted by George Lucas at 8:35 PM on April 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


Freelance,

Star Trek: Enterprise (2001-2005) isn't very good (in my opinion), but it is more recent than Voyager. And the reboot of Star Trek, for all its flaws, is likely to expand canon, not simply repeat it.
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 8:56 PM on April 2, 2012


RIP Big Spaceship shows.

Clone Wars is the closest we've got left.
posted by Artw at 9:02 PM on April 2, 2012


So this is the kind of leisure activity they will have instead of bingo in our future retirement homes ( the economy kind, not the fancy ones)
posted by Bwithh at 9:13 PM on April 2, 2012


Lobot on the 0's and 1's is a nice touch. Otherwise... I really think the music could.. .. Oh wait, I'm not allowed to have opinions on matters of aesthetics like music and dance.
posted by blackfly at 9:14 PM on April 2, 2012


I've got a bad feeling about this.
posted by 4ster at 9:14 PM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


sooooo.... Is Princess Leia in this? Is she playable?

Clip?
posted by Bwithh at 9:14 PM on April 2, 2012


You have no idea...
posted by Artw at 9:22 PM on April 2, 2012


Leia sequence starts at about the 2:20 mark
posted by Bwithh at 9:44 PM on April 2, 2012


>I find this interesting given that it's been almost 12 years since Voyager ended and televised Star Trek more-or-less fizzled out. Then of course we had the J.J. Abrams "reboot" (although I hate that term). Meanwhile, Lucas has been steadily churning out new canon Star Wars material since The Phantom Menace in '99. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but for me [continually expanding canon with varying levels of quality] > [trying to restart a classic franchise by turning it into an action movie].

I think both Voyager and Enterprise were both underrated. I mean post TOS star trek has always been a soap opera for nerds. I am fine with that. Voy and Ent both followed the formula with their own varying success. For me DS9 is probably the best of all trek, but TNG is still my favorite(i mean how can you beat Picard).

It's interesting that the Abrams reboot in a way makes star trek into star wars. So I'm still conflicted about it. We'll see what he does with the sequel.

Besides the shit story and cardboard characters my biggest gripe with the prequel trilogy is that the moron Lucas never gave us a set piece fleet battle ROTJ style. FUCK HIM!!! That is unforgivable. All we got was fighters vs. 1 drone ship in TPM and then the ass end of a battle at the beginning of ROTS. I don't remember what happened in AOTC because as with the fpp my eyes were bleeding most of the movie.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 9:45 PM on April 2, 2012


Is this canon ?

Asked and answered. Do try to keep up, Fuzzybutt. :-)
posted by radwolf76 at 9:51 PM on April 2, 2012


Leia sequence starts at about the 2:20 mark

And with that, I am now comfortable putting this thing solidly in the BAD category.
posted by naoko at 9:56 PM on April 2, 2012


Perhaps it's not surprising, but the the aforementioned MC Chris did the same cover idea a couple years ago, and did it better, revealing a deeper knowledge of the films and a lot less slop in the actual tempo and delivery.
posted by lantius at 10:21 PM on April 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is a perfect example of why over the past 12 years Star Trek has overtaken Star Wars as my favorite sf franchise. As far as movies and television are concerned that is.

Right, cuz Star Wars still has the upper hand when it comes to dance-off video games.
posted by Hoopo at 10:49 PM on April 2, 2012


POSE BONUS 9,768! It pleases me.
posted by unliteral at 10:55 PM on April 2, 2012


What is the game design philosophy behind the game?
According to the game's Creative Director: "Yeah, we just want to bring the most authentic Star Wars experience to the people who truly love Star Wars". He is wearing dark glasses while he says this so you can't see his eyes.
link (Starts at about 0:34)
posted by Bwithh at 11:37 PM on April 2, 2012


I like this just because it sets Star Wars in its rightful context: a bit of fun for a family audience. But think I'll wait for the Princess Bride dance game; that'll be so much better.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 2:45 AM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


THE POWER OF DISCO MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:01 AM on April 3, 2012


Ok, I sort of feel 11 years old here but I was holding it together until I noticed that stormtrooper dancing by the dj table. He's all by himself back there -- raising the roof, whipping his hair, liking it and putting a ring on it. He may as well be holding a sign that reads FUCK YALL DORKS and waving it in the air like he just doesn't care.

So although I totally agree with codacorolla that this is just another chilly slice of American corporate childhood product, I also think somebody on the inside is deliberately twisting the knife in perverse, hilarious ways. I would seriously like to thank that person for teaching me to laugh again at crap on the Internet. I thought I'd lost the skill, but I was crying for real, and not because my American childhood memory collection clearly just lost yet more of its portfolio value. Plus there is always a tiny, tiny chance that this will be the crime gets Lucas tried at Nerd Hague or wherever the hell can indict him for draining so much happiness from the universe's increasingly meager reserves. It's premature, but I've permitted myself a brief celebratory crunk with my cat. (As is standard Ewok substitution protocol.)
posted by melissa may at 5:03 AM on April 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


He might have a working hyperdrive if he spent less time dancing and more time fixing.
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 5:26 AM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Is this some weird Star Wars kakera were everyone gets along?
posted by charred husk at 5:38 AM on April 3, 2012


Uncle George, worth around 5 billion bucks, needs more dough, and he'll do anything to get it. Let's lower his taxes, folks!
posted by dbiedny at 7:23 AM on April 3, 2012


This is great, and anyone who disagrees is getting Retaken.
posted by running order squabble fest at 7:55 AM on April 3, 2012


Perhaps it's not surprising, but the the aforementioned MC Chris did the same cover idea a couple years ago, and did it better , revealing a deeper knowledge of the films and a lot less slop in the actual tempo and delivery.

There's also Why you gotta player hate on IG-88?
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 8:00 AM on April 3, 2012


It's pretty hard to imagine what could out do this, in terms of shock value. don't disappoint me metafilter.

Well here is a random piece of Han Solo gala dance crap for you then.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:04 AM on April 3, 2012


This was gold
posted by MangyCarface at 9:05 AM on April 3, 2012


Back in college, one of my friends and I used to challenge each other to bad-dance-offs, the point of which was to showcase moves so awkward/terrible (yet still precisely timed to the beat) that you'd cause the other and onlookers to laugh and/or go slack-jawed at just how awful they were.

The dance moves in the video really reminded me of that.

In fact, if I were a younger man and had a couple of friends in the area, willing to don all blue outfits, I'd be tempted to dress up as Han Solo and bust out these moves in a club, just to see the stunned reactions of the usual club-goers. I think the fact that I'm Asian would make it all the more WTF.
posted by comradechu at 9:56 AM on April 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


So I guess Jabba's chain on his dancers follows similar rules to the handcuffs in Who Framed Roger Rabbit: you can get out at any time, but only if it's terrible.
posted by ckape at 10:14 AM on April 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I like how the word "AWESOME!" keeps exploding from Harrison Ford's crotch.
posted by brundlefly at 10:30 AM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


That's from the movie.
posted by Artw at 10:31 AM on April 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


Hey, Star Wars Grumps, You’re Making It Even Worse
posted by Artw at 2:13 PM on April 3, 2012


And, via Artw's link, animated gifs!
posted by brundlefly at 4:54 PM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Thank you intarwebz. I've been waiting for this mashup.
posted by radwolf76 at 5:37 PM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I too imagine that my crotch shouts AWESOME and GREAT while I am dancing.
posted by srboisvert at 4:43 AM on April 4, 2012


If I had to guess, this particular scene and song are probably in LucasFilm's master Holocron continuity database under N-Level Non-Canon material, since it directly contradicts the G-Level Canon of EpV:ESB depicting the Carbon Freezing Chamber as being decidedly not partylike.

I'd say unreliable narrator - the database C-3P0 and R2-D2 are examining is corrupt, so that they are looking at it is canon, but this scene is presumably fictitious both in canon and outside it. IYSWIM.
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:00 AM on April 4, 2012


No thanks, Microsoft.
posted by charred husk at 6:29 AM on April 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


Why Leia Matters
posted by Artw at 8:03 AM on April 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


What if Darth Vader was a good father?
posted by Burhanistan at 6:50 PM on April 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


Rebel Pilots iPad Briefing
posted by Artw at 9:55 PM on April 7, 2012


That was rather spellbinding.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:40 PM on April 7, 2012


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