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The Makeover Fairy!
April 5, 2012 10:45 AM   Subscribe

Taking off your glasses doesn't automagically make you more feminine ...or DOES IT?!
posted by The Whelk (69 comments total) 89 users marked this as a favorite

 
Beat me to it, The Whelk. Cracked up at the 'genderfuck setting.'
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:47 AM on April 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


OK. That just got better and better the longer it went on. It's one of those kinds of gags.
posted by SPrintF at 10:48 AM on April 5, 2012 [8 favorites]


*wipes tears away*

*takes off glasses to get at the tears*

*OMG!!!!*
posted by bearwife at 10:49 AM on April 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


many thanks to mightygodking for tweeting the link above
posted by The Whelk at 10:50 AM on April 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wear glasses and I approve of this message.
posted by ook at 10:51 AM on April 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


A+++ WOULD SCROLL AGAIN
posted by odinsdream at 10:53 AM on April 5, 2012 [8 favorites]


Hahahaha, great. I love the look the last person gives their glasses in the last frame.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:54 AM on April 5, 2012


Oh this is the BEST.

One of my favorite subversions of the trope was on Arrested Development wherein GOB assumes Kitty will be more attractive if she takes off her glasses and lets down her hair and, well, she isn't, and the scene ends with him trying to find some serviceable configuration of glasses on/off hair up/down.
posted by griphus at 10:54 AM on April 5, 2012 [34 favorites]


Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs owns this trope. Underrated flick in general, actually.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:55 AM on April 5, 2012 [11 favorites]


*frantically searches for glasses*
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:57 AM on April 5, 2012


Conversely it means guys with thick glasses are the most manly.
posted by The Whelk at 10:59 AM on April 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


*looks in mirror, notes massive bald spot, short hair, and full beard*
*gives up and moves on to Vonnegut thread*
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:02 AM on April 5, 2012


ah shit I had them on the ”genderfuck” setting


<3 <3 <3
posted by the young rope-rider at 11:02 AM on April 5, 2012 [9 favorites]


That was straight up hilarious. And now I'm kind of afraid to take off my glasses.
posted by nooneyouknow at 11:03 AM on April 5, 2012


much in the same vein: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTnIjqEA4Ro
posted by felix at 11:05 AM on April 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


*whips off glasses*

*can't see shit as usual*
posted by infini at 11:09 AM on April 5, 2012 [17 favorites]


This is exactly the sort of thing that made me decide that tumblr might not be so bad after all.
posted by elizardbits at 11:12 AM on April 5, 2012


Please, please wear your glasses. I don't care which of the genders you are or aren't. I am sick of being whomped in the face by umbrellas the rest of you little baby people are hauling around in what only you imagine to be unoccupied airspace.

Its hard enough for you to see my imposing presence beyond the lip of your umbrella with glasses, without glasses and obscured by filly dodads and paint I see little hope for the continued survival of mine eyes.
posted by Slackermagee at 11:25 AM on April 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Glasses are hot. However, I will still resent people who wear lensless or faux glasses. I needed these to see before it was cool.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 11:26 AM on April 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


Only if I pull my hair out of its tail as well.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:35 AM on April 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Is this something I would have to own eyes to appreciate?
posted by The White Hat at 11:36 AM on April 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I kind of hope no one tries to top the last one, since it's the perfect punchline, but then I also kind of hope someone does try - and nails it.
posted by tzikeh at 11:37 AM on April 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Slackermagee: "I am sick of being whomped in the face by umbrellas the rest of you little baby people are hauling around in what only you imagine to be unoccupied airspace. "

What is it with people being unable to navigate an umbrella on a crowded street without decapitating their fellow pedestrians? Or stabbing them in the neck, face, head with the spiky parts?
posted by zarq at 11:39 AM on April 5, 2012


That's gold, Jerry! Gold!
posted by griphus at 11:42 AM on April 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


griphus: "That's gold, Jerry! Gold!"

Hmph. Try being tall on the streets of New York. Especially in Midtown West.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Mendy's.
posted by zarq at 11:46 AM on April 5, 2012


I tried whipping my contacts out.....Ended up poking myself in both eyes.
posted by sendai sleep master at 11:49 AM on April 5, 2012 [8 favorites]


I saw the first couple frames at pageload and was totally prepared to hate on it ... "Well, she didn't only take off her glasses..."

Good for me, I kept going. Couldn't help but grin by the end.
posted by owtytrof at 11:49 AM on April 5, 2012


Wearing contacts totally ruins this effect. And if you're close enough to see the outlines of the lenses, well, you're entirely too close.
posted by tommasz at 11:53 AM on April 5, 2012


Back in the olden days, when I was a single, glasses-wearing woman on the dating scene, sooooooooooo many guys would ask me to take off my glasses...(and presumably whip my hair around after, right?)

At first it was irritating, like, don't they know I can't see shit without my glasses on?

After a while, it was just a really fast way to weed them out. Nope, glasses stay on, shmucks.

NEXT!!!
posted by Grlnxtdr at 11:59 AM on April 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


What is it with people being unable to navigate an umbrella on a crowded street without decapitating their fellow pedestrians?

There is an especially cruel and gruesome section of hell for idiot who keep their 6-foot golf umbrellas open under crowded downtown awnings that stretch for entire blocks.

my goal in life is to be in charge of that section of hell tbh
posted by elizardbits at 11:59 AM on April 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


Yeah.
posted by erniepan at 11:59 AM on April 5, 2012


this is awesome.
posted by Theta States at 12:03 PM on April 5, 2012


what is that style of writing called? internet gawęda? ipad realism?
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 12:15 PM on April 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Thank you for bringing this to my life.
posted by apricot at 12:48 PM on April 5, 2012


sooo good!
posted by blueberrypicasso at 12:54 PM on April 5, 2012


*snorts, pushes up glasses*
posted by byanyothername at 1:02 PM on April 5, 2012


Wait, nobody has mentioned the fact that they're putting makeup on as well? Change one thing at a time, people.

(Also, I do make passes at girls who wear glasses. In fact I am probably more likely to make passes at them. That is, if I made passes at people regularly, which I don't, because I am a Socially Awkward Internet Person.)
posted by madcaptenor at 1:14 PM on April 5, 2012


Wait, nobody has mentioned the fact that they're putting makeup on as well? Change one thing at a time, people.

ahem, ah, that's.... part of the joke...
posted by odinsdream at 1:15 PM on April 5, 2012 [10 favorites]


I knew it was part of the joke. But I wasn't sure if nobody had mentioned it because you're all cooler than I am and don't point out why jokes are funny, or because you're all oblivious.
posted by madcaptenor at 1:16 PM on April 5, 2012


Slackermcgee, zarq, and elizardbits -

I thank you for the comments regarding umbrella safety and etiquette. Sometimes it's lonely fighting this battle in a rainy town full of short texting douchebags carrying gazebos on sticks, and I'm glad to see I have allies abroad.
posted by Hoopo at 1:21 PM on April 5, 2012


Was it a derail or did the wind simply turn the brolly inside out?
posted by infini at 1:30 PM on April 5, 2012


I'm aching and ashamed of myself, but it's a moderately amusing tumblr instead of barnyard porn that's responsible. Huh.
posted by malusmoriendumest at 1:55 PM on April 5, 2012


Yeah, this doesn't work in real life. Let's see...

(╭❍-❍)

(╯°□°)╯︵ ❍-❍╯

(✿◕‿◕)

...well, whaddaya know.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:56 PM on April 5, 2012 [139 favorites]


I am sick of being whomped in the face by umbrellas the rest of you little baby people are hauling around in what only you imagine to be unoccupied airspace.

OH YEAH??!! Maybe you should try to keep your giant, coarse, hairy elbows out of my face and my hairdo, and not sling your grossly overloaded bookbag over your shoulder without looking to see if you are going to clock me (hint: you are.) Also don't shove your way to the front of the stage at every goddamn show because I would like to see at least a little something other than a sea of lumbar vertebrae, and for GOD'S SAKE do not hold your lit cig at my eye level and wave it around like th--- OH CHRIST!!

-- squeaked from down by your ankles somewhere, King Kong.
posted by jfwlucy at 2:01 PM on April 5, 2012 [19 favorites]


I kind of hope no one tries to top the last one, since it's the perfect punchline, but then I also kind of hope someone does try - and nails it.

Notice how she very cleverly holds her glasses at an angle where you can't quite tell whether or not they are identical to the ones Austin Powers is wearing. A+
posted by straight at 2:26 PM on April 5, 2012


I have noticed that this does not work for David Caruso no matter how many times he does it. He's still ugly as sin.
posted by Splunge at 2:57 PM on April 5, 2012


Wow. Now I have to get glasses!
posted by sexyrobot at 2:57 PM on April 5, 2012


Conversely it means guys with thick glasses are the most manly.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:36 PM on April 5, 2012


It is ridiculous how much I love this.
posted by Space Kitty at 3:49 PM on April 5, 2012


But putting glasses on makes you look smarter, right?
posted by byronshell at 4:35 PM on April 5, 2012


what is that style of writing called? internet gawęda? ipad realism?

I propose it be termed "Beatonic."
posted by LogicalDash at 4:39 PM on April 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


However, I will still resent people who wear lensless or faux glasses.

People do that?
posted by pracowity at 5:49 PM on April 5, 2012


People do that?

Yes. Those people are also mostly likely to ask you if they can wear your glasses, and when you let them, exclaim "YOU ARE SO BLIND".
posted by saturnine at 6:43 PM on April 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


As a former glasses wearer (LASIK! ftw) I miss having eyeglasses sometimes.

Naw. I hated those things when I needed them, and contacts made me look more like a stoner than I was.

..and when you let them, [they] exclaim "YOU ARE SO BLIND".

Hah. My last encounter with that was in grade 9 or 10. I didn't get rid of my glasses until my mid-20s.
posted by porpoise at 7:22 PM on April 5, 2012


I almost don't even dare to not wear my glasses. I wouldn't even be me, I don't think.

It would be me, incognito.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 7:35 PM on April 5, 2012


The only thing that happens when I take off my glasses is I can then magically read fine print. Darn bifocals.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:04 PM on April 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


“Rob Bell’s Lasik Surgery to Cost Christian Hipsters Millions”
posted by straight at 9:08 PM on April 5, 2012


Someone should do the reverse, where girls add glasses along with makeup, etc.
posted by delmoi at 9:53 PM on April 5, 2012


Conversely it means guys with thick glasses are the most manly.
posted by Snyder at 10:47 PM on April 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


takes off the glasses he's worn since he was 8 - No, not the SAME pair...

feels chest

Nope, damn it.

Puts glasses back on
posted by Samizdata at 11:16 PM on April 5, 2012


<5
posted by Rocket Surgeon at 1:38 AM on April 6, 2012


No one's mentioned that this photo essay also found Waldo.
posted by jscalzi at 5:55 AM on April 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


saturnine: "People do that?

Yes. Those people are also mostly likely to ask you if they can wear your glasses, and when you let them, exclaim "YOU ARE SO BLIND".
"

I like having people who do that stare straight down and then teeter as the floor tilts away. I'm not just myopic, baby; I have astigmatism. Actually, though, because I have a relatively mild prescription for someone for whom glasses are not optional, I occasionally get "Huh, that actually kind of helps."
posted by Karmakaze at 6:06 AM on April 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


The thing that's kind of sucky about that trope is that it assumes I'm 85 times more sexy without my glasses on. Hell, no. IF I got contacts, and IF I put on lots of eyeshadow and eyeliner and IF I did my hair up, I'm still me, aren't I? I still sexy old me.

So this always felt like an underhanded compliment, or it tries to be...oooh, sexy librarian, unpin your hair, take off those glasses, you are a goddess behind those glasses!

No, motherfucker, I'm a goddess all day long, glasses or a clown wig.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 6:19 AM on April 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


Further, only special people ever get to see the sexy, ultra-feminine, made-up, without spectacles, goddess librarian me.

If you're special, she'll show you all kinds of tricks. The glasses trick is just one of many.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 7:11 AM on April 6, 2012


I discovered early on that myopia is natural beer goggle when circumstances require the removal of the spectacles.
posted by infini at 7:22 AM on April 6, 2012


There's a bit of a bell-curve to that, though; if your eyesight is too good or too bad without your glasses on, you don't get the beer goggles effect. Instead, you get:
  1. You look the same, but now I can't read the titles on your bookshelf 50 feet away, and without the halo effect of David Foster Wallace, I find you less sexy
  2. haaaaaaaaaay baby where are you let's get naughty (CLUNK) help help i fell in the bin
posted by subbes at 8:38 AM on April 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm usually within the bounds of 'personal space' by the time the glasses come off, for those very reasons, subbes
posted by infini at 9:18 AM on April 6, 2012


Dude does that one dude who takes off his glasses to become River Song look uncannily like Hugh Grant to anyone else?
posted by Devika at 9:57 PM on April 10, 2012


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