How to blow up a dead animal
April 22, 2012 8:13 PM   Subscribe

Obliterating Animal Carcasses With Explosives -- An official publication of the United States Department of Agriculture.
posted by Chocolate Pickle (26 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Too late for this whale.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:16 PM on April 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


But not for these cows.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 8:19 PM on April 22, 2012


Sometimes all you need is Tyvek coveralls and a lawn chair.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 8:20 PM on April 22, 2012


Love the retro gif
posted by lampshade at 8:22 PM on April 22, 2012


The best part is that this all falls under the banner of "Recreation Engineering Tech Tips!"
posted by bicyclefish at 8:25 PM on April 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


I knew it! The Department of Agriculture has been taken over by edgy performance artists!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:31 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


One of my friends works for a state forestry department and I should note this:
1. he has this exact pamphlet tacked on his office wall.
2. the forest service does have a history of actually blowing up carcasses if they have to.
3. nonetheless, he and all his coworkers regard the pamphlet as a joke.
posted by introp at 8:36 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I read "Obliterating Animal Carcasses With Explosives" and I was all "Oooooh!" and then I read "publication" and I was all "oh".
posted by zardoz at 8:37 PM on April 22, 2012


Going to send this to my brother, who blows stuff up for a living.
posted by The otter lady at 8:38 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


This post has the best tags.
posted by twirlip at 8:49 PM on April 22, 2012


Horseshoes should be removed to minimize dangerous flying debris.

This is a good point.
posted by axiom at 8:58 PM on April 22, 2012 [6 favorites]


In abeyance since the advent of BSE and chronic wasting disease, I'd guess.
posted by jamjam at 8:59 PM on April 22, 2012


Came in wondering how long it would take for Oregon whale explosion. :)

I really like the tone of the original report as it contains the magnificent phrase "...the blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds."

You just don't get reporting like that anymore.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 8:59 PM on April 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


Caracasses that have been partially obliterated will generally not show any trace of existence the next day.

What if I've already blown up all the scavengers?
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:08 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


The explosive placement diagrams are great, in part because the explosives are depicted as bacon-shaped dynamites.

Is that ironic? That's ironic, right?
posted by tickingclock at 9:09 PM on April 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of Charles Bennett's Mule Shot from 1878.
posted by Hey Dean Yeager! at 9:14 PM on April 22, 2012


Where oh where did I take a wrong turn in life, that I left myself ineligible for the title Northern Region Blaster Examiner?
posted by JHarris at 10:07 PM on April 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wonder how much the USDA spent on coming up with this...
posted by astapasta24 at 10:54 PM on April 22, 2012


This reminds of an amusingly named old book I found in work a few years back:
Painful experiments on animals
posted by 999 at 4:25 AM on April 23, 2012


I'd just like to point out that the "Exploding Whale" was one of my first "only on the Internet" experiences, and as such, holds a special place in my heart.
posted by ShutterBun at 6:07 AM on April 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am so using this for my technical writing course.
posted by jadepearl at 7:09 AM on April 23, 2012


It would appear we've blown up the web server.
posted by spitefulcrow at 7:13 AM on April 23, 2012


Obliterating Animal Carcasses With Explosives -- An official publication of the United States Department of Agriculture.

Also a Japanese game show I saw in Tokyo once.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:18 AM on April 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


For further information on using explosives for animal removal, contact a blaster on your Forest, or Jim Tour at the Missoula Technology and Development Center.

Jim Tour had an interesting job.
posted by cmonkey at 8:02 AM on April 23, 2012


In high school, my American History teacher told us the story of his time in the CCC building trails in the Cascades. One day a pack horse got stuck between two rocks. The crew tried poking it with sticks. Scaring it with a pistol shot. Pushing, pulling. Nothing worked.

He explained that someone hit upon the idea of using dynamite. Most everyone in the class thought he meant using it on the rocks. He paused beautifully while the obvious conclusion washed over us. The girls started looking worried. The guys started smiling.

My teacher said they weren't sure how much to use but decided upon some number which escapes me now but they didn't err on the side of too little. The sticks were placed under the animal and the loooong fuse lit. They ran like hell.

BOOM! Small furry woodland creatures took care of the rest and the trail got wider.

That was an awesome class, not just for his stories but also his teaching.
posted by grefo at 8:27 AM on April 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


USDA? I could have sworn I read this in the last edition of the Pawnee Parks Department newsletter.
posted by ecmendenhall at 1:40 PM on April 23, 2012


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