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1. Who cleans up all the mess? A) Always me
April 24, 2012 10:34 PM   Subscribe

HowToBasic is a YouTube channel that gives you basic instruction on how to do simple things. The most popular videos involve food preparation, such as How to Correctly Add Milk to Your Coffee, How To Make Delicious Soup, and How To Make an Egg Salad Sandwich. However, there are a variety of others, including How To Wash a Car, How To Apply Toothpaste to a Toothbrush Correctly, How To Fold a Sock, How To Perform a Coke Prank.
posted by CrunchyFrog (57 comments total) 58 users marked this as a favorite

 
Man, that how to fold socks one is going to be a real time saver; I can't believe I never thought of that.
posted by ook at 10:40 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wish these were actually about how to do basic things. I love a good egg salad sandwich, so I clicked that link first thinking I'd see how they do it and then probably make one to snack on. I don't think I'll be trying their technique at home.
posted by Arbac at 10:43 PM on April 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


How To Make A Wonderchicken Feel Strangely Uncomfortable
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:46 PM on April 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


How to fix that.
posted by flabdablet at 10:55 PM on April 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


It is 1 AM and I am in the middle of a paper-writing marathon and I am trying not to crack up so loudly that my fiance wakes up in the next room. Thank you for this.
posted by Scientist at 10:56 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Before watching, I thought, "I bet I make better egg salad than this guy"... but I admit he has me beat.
posted by painquale at 10:57 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wish these were actually about how to do basic things.

When you lift heavy stuff, you should lift by bending your knees instead of leaning over and pulling up with your back.

Words to lift by.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:57 PM on April 24, 2012


Arbac, if you actually want a video of how to do basic things, Allie Brosh (of HAAH) has got you covered.

(This is genius, though.)
posted by en forme de poire at 10:58 PM on April 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh my god I am dying.
posted by rossination at 11:00 PM on April 24, 2012


I wish these were actually about how to do basic things. I love a good egg salad sandwich, so I clicked that link first thinking I'd see how they do it and then probably make one to snack on. I don't think I'll be trying their technique at home.

You will need:

- some hardboiled eggs
- some mayonnaise (Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise)
- any crunchy green vegetable

Remove and discard the shells from the eggs. Chop everything up and mix it together. Place the mixture between two slices of bread.

Ta-da.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:01 PM on April 24, 2012


No way, Sys Rq.

The main trick is to separate the whites and yolks of the hard boiled egg, blend the mayo and yolk into a paste, and then mix in big torn chunks of the egg white. (Thanks, Kenny Shopsin!)
posted by painquale at 11:03 PM on April 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Meh. That's what I said: Chop it and mix it. You can do that normal or you can do that fancy. Either way, you're left with a house full of egg stink.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:06 PM on April 24, 2012 [7 favorites]


The search for the perfect egg salad recipe is far more strange and dangerous than you might think.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:12 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wtf was that??
brenda21xx 2 hours ago

A sandwich.
HowToBasic in reply to brenda21xx 2 hours ago


Ok, this comment from the How to Make an Egg Salad Sandwich video has completely won me over.
posted by grapesaresour at 11:33 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Watching the toothpaste application video has me involuntarily spitting goo from my mouth.

In other news...
posted by smidgen at 11:37 PM on April 24, 2012


How to Light a Teddy Bear On Fire
posted by roger ackroyd at 11:44 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


The commentary on how to properly open a bag of chips was equally priceless:

Does this work with non-homebrand products? I just want to check before i have a party this weekend.
MrJustLykDat 21 hours ago


Home brand Only.
HowToBasic in reply to MrJustLykDat 21 hours ago

Ok, thanks.
MrJustLykDat in reply to HowToBasic 18 hours

No problem! Enjoy your chips!
HowToBasic in reply to MrJustLykDat 18 hours ago

would this work with doritos aswell ?
freestylemydestiny 1 day ago 15

No
HowToBasic in reply to freestylemydestiny 21 hours ago 77
posted by OrangeDrink at 11:44 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I could not stop laughing at the end of the egg salad sandwich one. Oh my god.
posted by Corduroy at 11:53 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Speed Cooking from Moon TV, New Zealand, some time in the past.
posted by vac2003 at 11:55 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


The more I think about it, the more brilliant this becomes. For instance, all the titles are written exactly the way you would expect someone trying to get hits to their shitty how-to video. "How To Make Spaghetti The Correct Way".
posted by Corduroy at 11:59 PM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


"How To Fold a T-shirt In 5 Seconds", "How To Peel a Banana The Fastest".
posted by Corduroy at 12:02 AM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of the time I came across this page. It never gets old.
posted by gloomr at 12:09 AM on April 25, 2012


These are hilarious. Thank you.
posted by SarahElizaP at 12:24 AM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wish these were actually about how to do basic things. I love a good egg salad sandwich, so I clicked that link first thinking I'd see how they do it and then probably make one to snack on. I don't think I'll be trying their technique at home.

I'm sad I came to type this exact sentiment. Even down to clicking egg salad sandwich first. Then I got sad.
posted by disillusioned at 12:40 AM on April 25, 2012


These are spot on and I love them. They remind me of PronunciationManual.
posted by yaymukund at 12:48 AM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm hungry and thought, "Ooh, soup!" so I clicked on it. Now I want to hit the little pencil-neck that betrayed my heartfelt click.
posted by codswallop at 1:06 AM on April 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh yeah, vac2003, that's Speed Cooking!
posted by rmmcclay at 1:53 AM on April 25, 2012


How To Perform a Coke Prank

First, acquire some sherbet...
posted by pompomtom at 2:10 AM on April 25, 2012


Suddenly I miss the subtle comedic stylings of Gallagher.
posted by ShutterBun at 3:27 AM on April 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


I feel so bad, for this person's childhood must have been so traumatic.
posted by costanza at 3:44 AM on April 25, 2012


More like Gallagher Too.0, am I right?
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:00 AM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]



- some hardboiled eggs
- some mayonnaise (Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise)
- any crunchy green vegetable


No mustard???
posted by DU at 4:39 AM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


man i just realized there were people who could afford to turn food into garbage like that
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:27 AM on April 25, 2012


How to do an How to do List
posted by elpapacito at 5:40 AM on April 25, 2012


Oh my god, there should be some kind of warning on this.
posted by odinsdream at 5:56 AM on April 25, 2012


This is funny? Wow.

I've tried to pretend that it's a deep and cutting satire on useless howto videos, but it's still just someone wasting food...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 6:19 AM on April 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


The Coke prank one is my favorite, despite there being no raw egg involved.
posted by codacorolla at 6:19 AM on April 25, 2012


Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise

Which is why I prefer Miracle Whip.
posted by Edison Carter at 6:37 AM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


[watches toothpaste video]

Ah, OK. I see my mistake.
posted by DarkForest at 7:40 AM on April 25, 2012


How to touch a wall with an apple
posted by ymgve at 8:22 AM on April 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


I got through the first two before I realized I would have to watch these not at work, free from the limitations of trying to crack up without making a lot of noise.
posted by whitneyarner at 9:02 AM on April 25, 2012


Do they have a video on how to dispose of a dead body?
posted by bukvich at 9:49 AM on April 25, 2012


These are dumb, but the more of them I watch, the more I believe that this is how the person truly functions.
posted by SharkParty at 10:06 AM on April 25, 2012


I was hoping the coke prank involved a razor blade and a box of baking soda.
posted by slogger at 11:00 AM on April 25, 2012


Ok, I didn't find this too funny at first, but somehow, the more I watch, the greater it becomes.

How To Light A Match Without A Tinderbox had me laughing WAY too hard for such a ridiculous and simple thing.
posted by MysticMCJ at 12:46 PM on April 25, 2012


And I really want to start trolling the InfoSec and SE mailing lists with How To Pick Any Lock Fast!

I can't explain why, but the moment a banana gets involved in random things is generally when it crosses over to comedy gold for me...
posted by MysticMCJ at 12:50 PM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


For some reason I lose it when he starts smashing things with the palm of his hand.
posted by jcreigh at 12:59 PM on April 25, 2012


Putting tape on the Coke can was ahhh so hilarious.

If you are worried about how much food they're wasting, perhaps you could watch TV for five seconds, or acknowledge the existence of the Food Network? I am sure any comedy on TV has wasted more resources in the pursuit of laughs than this YouTube channel.
posted by stoneandstar at 2:25 PM on April 25, 2012


And for those who haven't applied themselves to the esteemed resource that is Pronunciation Manual...
posted by stoneandstar at 2:29 PM on April 25, 2012


The more I think about it, the more brilliant this becomes. For instance, all the titles are written exactly the way you would expect someone trying to get hits to their shitty how-to video. "

"How To Fold a T-shirt In 5 Seconds", "How To Peel a Banana The Fastest".


I switched to peeling bananas from the bottom after decades of ignorance and it works. YVMMV
posted by ersatz at 2:58 PM on April 25, 2012


There's so much visceral anger in these videos. It's a little overwhelming.
posted by coolxcool=rad at 3:33 PM on April 25, 2012


There's so much visceral anger in these videos. It's a little overwhelming.

You obviously haven't watched the sock folding video.
posted by codacorolla at 4:00 PM on April 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


There's so much visceral anger in these videos. It's a little overwhelming.

You obviously haven't watched the sock folding video.


That's a perfect example of what I'm talking about. There's some sort of aggression being emitted by theses videos but I can't tell who it's being directed at: Is it himself? Is it the viewer? Is it his parents? Is it society? I suppose this kind of ambiguity is what I find so compelling about these.
posted by coolxcool=rad at 5:02 PM on April 25, 2012


- some hardboiled eggs
- some mayonnaise (Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise)
- any crunchy green vegetable



No mustard???

Yes mustard. And salt, and pepper. Diced celery is good for your crunchy green vegetable, but if you don't have it (or are too lazy to dice celery, like me) just put some crunchy lettuce and/or alfalfa sprouts on the sandwich.

Also the easiest way to chop up the eggs (whites and yolks at the same time) is with a potato masher (the manual kind, not a hand mixer.)
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 5:04 PM on April 25, 2012


Guys guys! Best egg sandwich ever? Butter, salt, and grated cheese. Awwwww yea
posted by Devika at 7:33 PM on April 26, 2012


Also the easiest way to chop up the eggs (whites and yolks at the same time) is with a potato masher (the manual kind, not a hand mixer.)

The Pampered Chef Mix 'n' Chop changed my life. No food that needs to be in bits is safe.
posted by kostia at 9:21 PM on May 1, 2012


How to Clean Up Sick had me in tears. Bless the internet so hard.
posted by kostia at 9:22 PM on May 1, 2012


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