"Frankenstein monster of marketing trends that's probably too clever by half."

May 2, 2012 8:09 AM

What Pizza Hut's Crown Crust Pizza Says About Global Fast Food Marketing. [Food Porn] [Pizza Hut-blue?] Perhaps you've heard by now of the Crown Crust pizza, the pizza-cheeseburger hybrid recently unveiled by some of Pizza Hut's international franchisees. Available only at Pizza Hut Middle East, this fast food chimera features a vaguely crown-shaped crust studded with "cheeseburger gems," topped with lettuce and tomato, and drizzled with "special sauce." Many foodies have decried it as a "culinary abomination," "a sign of the apocalypse," or proof that America is finally losing its monopoly on gluttony. A reviewer at Serious Eats, who tried the Crown Crust in Dubai, wrote: "There seems to be no rational explanation as to why this pizza was created." [Via: NPR.org]
posted by Fizz (83 comments total)

That's not a pizza.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 8:14 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

The pictures and review at serious eats are terrifying. Still, as with all descriptions of awful fast-food experiments, now that I know about it, I kind of want to try it.
posted by gauche at 8:14 AM on May 2, 2012

There seems to be no rational explanation as to why this pizza was created

Given that Pizza Hut now has it's name splashed across news outlets, weblogs, and MetaFilter of all places...I think I can think of a rational explanation as to why this pizza was created.
posted by cmonkey at 8:15 AM on May 2, 2012 [12 favorites]

The Malaysian, Korean, and Indonesian versions look delicious.
posted by sid at 8:16 AM on May 2, 2012

See also: the hotdog stuffed crust pizza, which I think was posted here recently.

I soon neared the end of my slice and its bedoughed, pink-brown phallus. I took a tentative bite.

It was a hot dog sausage. It was rubbery and processed and salty and smoky. How, in its own filthy way, could it be anything other than delicious? I peeled back its pappy cladding and gazed in conflicted seduction. I finished it. I had another slice. I put the box away. I came back a few minutes later and had another slice. I put the box in the bin.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:16 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

cmonkey hits it on the head. A marketing guy once told me that any new thing that a fast-food chain comes out with (in particular, stuff that's not in their usual wheelhouse, e.g. sandwiches from Domino's) isn't intended to sell -- it's just a way to get people to think about the chain. The Crown Crust is a loss leader, especially since it's only being done in the Middle East (where the pizzas aren't really that great anyway, even compared to the usual Pizza Hut standards in the U.S.).
posted by Etrigan at 8:17 AM on May 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

That's sheer genius.
posted by zeoslap at 8:18 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

Overthinking a big plate of ... something.

(I would totally eat that.)
posted by chavenet at 8:18 AM on May 2, 2012

Truly, NPR has reached the pinnacle of journalistic relevance with this groundbreaking reportage.
posted by Nomyte at 8:19 AM on May 2, 2012 [6 favorites]

A failure patty in a sadness crust.
posted by naju at 8:20 AM on May 2, 2012 [11 favorites]

A marketing guy once told me that any new thing that a fast-food chain comes out with (in particular, stuff that's not in their usual wheelhouse, e.g. sandwiches from Domino's) isn't intended to sell -- it's just a way to get people to think about the chain.

See also the Doritos taco at Taco Bell; the Double Down sandwich at KFC.

Did I mention that these chains are all subsidiaries of Yum!? Hmm.
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 8:20 AM on May 2, 2012 [6 favorites]

Truly, NPR Pizza Hut has reached the pinnacle of journalistic relevance with this groundbreaking reportage.

Fixed.
posted by Fizz at 8:20 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

If you have to travel to Dubai to rival American excess then I don't think America will be loosing her gluttony crown anytime soon.
posted by munchingzombie at 8:21 AM on May 2, 2012

Short-term these stunts might get us to think and talk about the brand. Long-term, whenever I think of KFC the feelings of gluttony and excess associated with it are too great to actually pull into the drive-in. That's a direct result of the Double Down.
posted by naju at 8:23 AM on May 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food? I'm sure Caligula or Nero were doing some crazy shit, I just can't think of anything off the top of my head?

Food Historians FORM OF: Pizza-burger!
posted by Fizz at 8:26 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

They almost had me with that chicken tender version, but then they brought out that prawn pineapple cheese abomination and I crawled back into the ocean to slumber for another million years.
posted by SharkParty at 8:26 AM on May 2, 2012

Uneasy lies the gut that eats a crown.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:26 AM on May 2, 2012 [27 favorites]

Is this any more obnoxious than Taco Pizza in the United States?
posted by Naberius at 8:30 AM on May 2, 2012

I wonder if this is what Mexicans think of the Dorito Loco Chalupa with Cheez sauce, avocado-flavored "guac" and "chipotle" Volcano Sauce.

That said, I would much rather order this than anything else from this restaurant. I mean, it's Pizza Hut for chrissakes. I have never questioned the authenticity of the the "pizza" (i.e. the bread/ketchup/processed cheese fare) at the Hut in comparison to actual pizza from a pizzeria.

I do like the observation that the article made regarding the example with Chinese food in the US and American food abroad, though... If we're willing to blend traditional fare in all sorts of nutty ways (to others, anyway) why shouldn't the rest of the world follow suit? Reminds me of the Kimchi Burger, which by the way, is AWESOME.
posted by Debaser626 at 8:31 AM on May 2, 2012

Never ever say pappy cladding again.
posted by emelenjr at 8:31 AM on May 2, 2012 [4 favorites]

Taco Pizzas are an abomination, but Pizza Tacos are a delight. Funny how that works.
posted by troika at 8:32 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food?

While the artistry of this burgerzza is questionable, Food As Art and Dinner As Performance has a long tradition, much of which was over the top and excessive.

What's most different, I suppose, is that fast food is targeted at the low and middle classes for the most part, so one could say day-to-day food excess has been democratized. Not for the best, naturally, but then gluttony is rarely the best course. (So to speak.)
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:32 AM on May 2, 2012

Tear one of those little burgers off, douse it in Paul Masson Grande Amber, and eat it in one bite -- checkerboard cloth atop your head -- while reflecting on the seven deadly sins.

Way cheaper than an ortolan, and serves 12.
posted by cog_nate at 8:33 AM on May 2, 2012 [9 favorites]

(Also, I made hot dog crust pizza a couple years ago. It was pretty good.)
posted by cog_nate at 8:34 AM on May 2, 2012

Truly, NPR has reached the pinnacle of journalistic relevance with this groundbreaking reportage.

Actually, there are a couple of interesting things in that NPR article. I thought the China Buffett Effect, where cultures dump foreign food from the same places together because they can't really tell the difference, is a very plausible explanation for why this thing exists. If you're just trying to sell American Food, why not take the two most popular American foods and dump them together?

Also, this ad for the Malaysian version fascinated me by delving into complicated ethnic tensions that are somehow solved by a pizza with a bunch of junk on it.

It's hardly Pulitzer material (or even original reporting since both bits are taken from other sources), but that was a better article than I was expecting given the subject.

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food? I'm sure Caligula or Nero were doing some crazy shit, I just can't think of anything off the top of my head?

People have always loved eating stuff mixed with other stuff in unexpected ways. Four and twenty blackbirds, baked into a pie, etc.
posted by Copronymus at 8:35 AM on May 2, 2012 [7 favorites]

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food?

Neapolitan ice cream was named in the late 19th century as a reflection of its presumed origins in the cuisine of the Italian city of Naples...
posted by oulipian at 8:37 AM on May 2, 2012

Paul Masson, you say cog_nate? Orson Welles would LOVE that hot dog crust pizza.
posted by troika at 8:37 AM on May 2, 2012

burgerzza

Burgzilla?
posted by valkyryn at 8:37 AM on May 2, 2012

Also, this ad for the Malaysian version fascinated me by delving into complicated ethnic tensions that are somehow solved by a pizza with a bunch of junk on it.

That's a weird commercial. What's even more bizarre is that I'm sure a focus group was put together along with a lot of research about various cultures.
posted by Fizz at 8:38 AM on May 2, 2012

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food?

Ortolan Bunting.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:38 AM on May 2, 2012

In his 1807 Almanach des Gourmands, gastronomist Grimod de La Reynière presents his rôti sans pareil ("roast without equal")—a bustard stuffed with a turkey, a goose, a pheasant, a chicken, a duck, a guinea fowl, a teal, a woodcock, a partridge, a plover, a lapwing, a quail, a thrush, a lark, an ortolan bunting and a garden warbler
posted by nathancaswell at 8:40 AM on May 2, 2012

The real disgusting thing about this campaign is the assumption that a group of dbags would laugh uproariously and high 5 at the hilarious joke of ordering a cheeseburger at pizza hut.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:43 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

The real disgusting thing about this campaign is the assumption that a group of dbags would laugh uproariously and high 5 at the hilarious joke of ordering a cheeseburger at pizza hut.

Have you ever watched Jersey Shore!? Don't. Just know that dbags like this exist.
posted by Fizz at 8:44 AM on May 2, 2012

Cheeseburgers?! Now that's what I call a pizza!
posted by sourwookie at 8:44 AM on May 2, 2012

http://www.celtnet.org.uk/recipes/mediaeval/fetch-recipe.php?rid=medi-cotagrys

Cockatrice:

Take and make the self stuffing [as in the preceding recipe] but add to it pine nuts and sugar. Take a whole roasted cock, and halve across the belly. Hold all together, save the leg portion, which you should pull apart. Take a [roasted] pig and split it from the middle downwards. Fill it with the stuffing and sow him all together [the cock head part and pig leg part]. Place in a pan and boil thoroughly and when it is cooked : place on a spit and roast it well. Colour it with egg yolks and saffron and dress with gold and silver leaf and serve it forth.
posted by Comrade_robot at 8:46 AM on May 2, 2012

There seems to be no rational explanation as to why this pizza was created

If you have an even moderately decent mom-and-pop pizza joint in your town, there's no rational explanation for eating at Pizza Hut in the first place.
posted by delfin at 8:47 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

That's not a pizza.
IT'S A SPACE STATION.
AND A TRAP!
posted by PapaLobo at 8:47 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

I'm glad there's video to demonstrate how to *eat* the fucking thing.
posted by hellojed at 8:48 AM on May 2, 2012

I'm not really sure I see why one type of bread covered in cheese and meat is acceptable, but a slightly different type of bread, covered in cheese and meat is an abomination. I mean, I probably wouldn't order one, but it's not particularly gross and it's not really any less healthy than straight up pizza.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:50 AM on May 2, 2012 [3 favorites]

Tear one of those little burgers off, douse it in Paul Masson Grande Amber, and eat it in one bite -- checkerboard cloth atop your head -- while reflecting on the seven deadly sins.

*child whips cloth off head, crunches down on fried ortolan*

VO: THIS AINT YOUR GRANDMA'S ORTOLAN

*children rock out with big cartoon ortolan playing electric guitar*

VO: THE ALL NEW CHEESY STUFT ORTOLAN, AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME AT TACO BELL

*cartoon ortolan hops on skateboard*

Kids: IT'S ORTOLICIOUS!

*ortolan does a sweet Ollie*

VO: CRISP BREADING, PEPPERJACK CHEESE, AND ALL THE TINY AVIAN BONES YOU COULD WANT

*Kids are laughing, throwing pieces of bird into each others' mouth*

VO: A TASTE SO GOOD, YOU'LL SWEAR YOU'RE DOING A SIN!

Cartoon Ortolan: (basso profundo) CRUNCH THAT BIRD

*Kids high-five*

VO: CHEESY STUFT ORTOLAN -- RIDE THE SHAMEWAVE
posted by Greg Nog at 8:50 AM on May 2, 2012 [50 favorites]

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food?

Have a look at the cena trimalchionis (Trimalchio's dinner) in a good translation of the Satyricon sometime.
posted by gauche at 8:54 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

We take a crunchy, all-beef taco, smother it in nacho cheese, lettuce, tomato and our special southwestern sauce. Then we wrap it in a soft, flour tortilla with a layer of refried beans in-between.
Sweet!
Then we wrap that in a savory corn tortilla with a middle layer of Monterey Jack cheese.
Awesome!
And it gets even awesomer, when we take a deep-fried gordita shell, smear on a little of our special "guacamolito" sauce and wrap that around the outside.
This is pretty big..
But it gets even bigger! Because we bake it in a corn husk filled with pico de gallo, then then wrap that in an authentic Parisian crepe, filled with egg, gruyere, merguez sausage and Portobello mushroom.
Can I eat in now?
Sure. But not before we take the whole thing and wrap that in a Chicago style deep dish meat lovers pizza!
Pizza? Now that's what I call a taco!
Well, it's not a Taco Town taco until we roll it up in a blueberry pancake, dip it in batter and deep-fry it until it's golden brown. Then we serve it in all commemorative tote bag filled with spicy vegetarian chili. It's 15 great tastes all rolled into one.
Taco Town!
posted by modernserf at 9:09 AM on May 2, 2012 [5 favorites]

This is just a natural progression from the Doner Kebab Pizza.
posted by mippy at 9:16 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

Reminds me of Fifties cooking with processed food, like spam roast, company casserole with canned tuna fish topped with potato chips and jello molds made fancy with dollops of mayonnaise.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 9:16 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

Trojan Hog - from Magia Naturalis:

Trojan Hog. The ancient Gluttons invented, how a whole Ox or Camel should be set on the table, and diverse other creatures. Hence the people had a tale concerning the Trojan Hog. So called, because he covered in his belly, many kinds of living creatures, as the ancient Trojan Horse concealed many armed men. Macrobius reports, 3. Lib. Satur., that Cincius in his oration, where he persuades to put the practise Fannius his law, concerning moderation of expense, did object to the men of his age, that they brought the Trojan Hog to their tables. Collers of Brawn and the Trojan Hog, were forbidden by the law of regulating expense. The Hog was killed, as Dalachampas translates it, with a small wound under his shoulder. When much blood was run forth, all his Entrails were taken out, and cut off where they began. And after that he was often well washed with Wine, and hung up by his heels, and again washed with Wine. He is rolled in Musk, Pepper. The the foresaid dainties, namely Thrushes, Udders, Gnatsnappers, and many Eggs poured unto them, Oysters, Scallops, were thrust into his belly at his mouth. He is washed with plenty of excellent Liquor, and half the Hog is filled with Polenta, that is, with Barleymeal, Wine, Oil, kneaded together. And so he his put into the oven, with a Brass pan set under. And care must be had to roast him so leisurely, that he neither burns, nor continue raw. For when the skin seems Crup, it is a sign all is roasted, and the Polenta is taken away. Then a Silver platter is brought in, only Gilded, but not very thick, big enough to contain the roasted Hog, that must lie on his back in it, and his belly sticking forth, that is stuffed with a diversity of goods. And so is he set on the table.

It's a history lesson and a meal in one! Just like Passover.
posted by Mizu at 9:17 AM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

Two points: wasn't Pappy Cladding the old guy on the "Grizzly Adams" TV show? And I am amazed this wasn't from the Pizza Hut shops in Scotland.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:26 AM on May 2, 2012

The Malaysian Golden Fortune Cheesy Crown is mesmerizing. I can't take my eyes away. I just can't. I'm a vegetarian and it looks revolting but I know if I lived there I'd just have to eat it. And eat an entire one, not just one slice.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 9:27 AM on May 2, 2012

Some googling led me to 'character meat'. Does this exist in the US? I only know that when I was tryign to buy some pastrami from a supermarket (no deli counter = only the pre-packed stuff at three times the price) they had none, but lots of pale pink slices with angels or hearts printed onto them.
posted by mippy at 9:35 AM on May 2, 2012

it's not particularly gross

I dunno about anyone else, but to me it's gross in exactly the way that a 4x4 at In-N-Out is gross. Not because of any culinary misappropriation, but simply because it's a repellent mound of glistening sweaty food-like product.
posted by aramaic at 9:37 AM on May 2, 2012

"Pizza and brownies, what a deliciously natural combination."
posted by Fizz at 9:40 AM on May 2, 2012

Metafilter: a repellent mound of glistening sweaty food-like product.
posted by Fizz at 9:42 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

This thing is labelled food porn? If this is food porn, its of the 2 girls 1 cup variety. Gross.
posted by braksandwich at 9:43 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

or proof that America is finally losing its monopoly on gluttony.

Imperial College put its global diabetes research centre in Abu Dhabi for obvious reasons: a surfeit of patients.

Maybe I'll order one of these things for dinner tonight.
posted by atrazine at 9:43 AM on May 2, 2012

This thing is labelled food porn? If this is food porn, its of the 2 girls 1 cup variety. Gross.

That was my label for this thread. Have you not heard of that description? Enjoy [Wiki].
posted by Fizz at 9:46 AM on May 2, 2012

You take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza... You got Cheesy Blasters!
posted by porn in the woods at 9:55 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food?

A vivid description of a Roman banquet at its most luxuriant is given by the contemporary writer Petronius. This was the famous Trimalchio's feast, where guests were offered 'A hare tricked out with wings to look like a Pegasus, a wild sow with its belly full of live thrushes, quinces stuck with thorns to look like sea urchins, and roast pork carved into models of fish, song birds and a goose'. The Emperor Vitellius dedicated to the goddess Minerva a mixture of pike liver, pheasants' brains, peacocks' brains, flamingo tongues and lamprey roe, after rejecting the flesh of several rare and expensive delicacies 'collected in every corner of the Empire from the Parthian frontier to the Straits of Gibraltar'.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:56 AM on May 2, 2012 [4 favorites]

Do you think flamingo tastes like chickeny shrimp?
posted by Mizu at 10:00 AM on May 2, 2012

Does anyone have any non-20th century examples of this type of excess from the history of food?

...the largest dish prepared regularly anywhere in the world is eaten by Bedouin tribesmen at wedding feasts. It consists of 1 whole camel stuffed with 1 sheep that has been stuffed with several chickens, each stuffed with fish that have been stuffed with eggs.

That's from a 1962 Life magazine. No idea how authentic it is but I've heard it before and I'm seeing it in other 20th century literature though the Google Books search isn't giving me anything earlier.
posted by XMLicious at 10:09 AM on May 2, 2012

This is a solecism. Whether it's possible to blaspheme against pizza is debatable, but the Crown Crust has sinned against nature.
posted by Difference Engine at 10:24 AM on May 2, 2012

wenestvedt: "wasn't Pappy Cladding the old guy on the "Grizzly Adams yt " TV show?"

That was Mad Jack!
posted by Chrysostom at 10:25 AM on May 2, 2012

You know what's actually most absurdly spectacularly stomach-churning here? There's a whole profession filled with keen Type A corporate communications go-getters making twice your average teacher's wage to contribute moments of sublime literary nothingness such as this:

Pizza Hut did not provide much information on the origin or intent of the new product when we asked, but it did email us this statement: "The chefs at Pizza Hut make it great with pizzas featuring different toppings and styles to match global tastes."

Fucking beautiful. You could surely produce an alogrithm to churn out this stuff, but would it contribute to the economy by buying expensive lunches and gym memberships and such?

Oh and mippy?

This is just a natural progression from the Doner Kebab Pizza.

That isn't even exclusively (or even primarily) a UK/Icelandic phenomenon. Halifax's myriad donair shops - King of Donair, for example, everyone's favourite "Nova Scotia-style" donair joint - have been doing donair pizzas for at least a decade.
posted by gompa at 10:28 AM on May 2, 2012

Do you think flamingo tastes like chickeny shrimp?

I have it on good authority that they taste like sulphur and creosote from the volcanic hotsprings they spend time in. I still kind of want to find out though.
posted by piedmont at 10:52 AM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

This piece of news IS making me kinda want pizza. But not Pizza Hut, and certainly not this ill-starred deconstruction of a hamburger's ingredients across the width of a pizza. It's making me want to hit up Pagliacci and have something that's actually made with relatively fresh ingredients.

The idea that this sort of stunt works to get people thinking about your brand and coming in to get something less repellant is only true if you're pretty much the only game in town. And there is a LOT of competition in the realm of cheap pizza.
posted by egypturnash at 11:03 AM on May 2, 2012

It's worth remembering the deep-fried pizzas of Scotland. Culinarily in the same league, but inexplicably actually made by members of the Italian community.
posted by ambrosen at 11:03 AM on May 2, 2012

Looks like the kind of thing a redditor would like AMIRITE?

That aside, they should give you the option to go fractal on this.
posted by Decani at 11:18 AM on May 2, 2012

I live in Dubai, had Pizza Hut for lunch. If this comment gets 100 favorites, I will buy one of these pizzas, eat all of it and post pictures of the carnage.
posted by ambient2 at 11:50 AM on May 2, 2012 [22 favorites]

Can you pay for stuff in Dubai with favorites? What about bookmarks?
posted by Chichibio at 11:53 AM on May 2, 2012

What gets me about this is the special sauce, which to me always sounds like some guy has been jacking it over your pizza.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:29 PM on May 2, 2012

That looks vile.
posted by Maisie at 12:33 PM on May 2, 2012

METAFILTER: ALL THE TINY AVIAN BONES YOU COULD WANT
posted by The Whelk at 12:33 PM on May 2, 2012

The cream cheese version, mentioned at the end of the Serious Eats article, also exists at Pizza Hut in Belgium.

(It was 3PM on Sunday and nowhere else was serving food. And no, I didn't try it. It did stare up at me from the place mat as if daring me to order it, though.)
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 1:51 PM on May 2, 2012

A TASTE SO GOOD, YOU'LL SWEAR YOU'RE DOING A SIN!

my first tattoo
posted by SharkParty at 2:02 PM on May 2, 2012

xmlicious: Anthony Bourdain partook of stuffed camel in one of his travel programs. It didn't look so bad. (About eight minutes in.) Bourdain said it was something like lamb.
posted by CCBC at 3:33 PM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

I may be the only person here to defend Pizza Hut*, but this thing is a travesty. Burgers are burgers and pizza is pizza. I could call my ass a turkey, but that don't mean it's Thanksgiving.

*hey, what can I say? I grew up poor, raised by non-foodies and fast food was just normal on a, say, bi-weekly (or tri- or quad-weekly) basis. I've since learned what real food is, but I still occasionally like like Wendy's burgers or McDonald's fries, and, yes, Pizza Hut pizza. Which is not New York city pizza**, no, but it's still pizza. You may not like it, but it does qualify as pizza, sorry.

** New Yorkers, your pizza is good. Very good. Better than Pizza Hut. But it ain't the only flavor in the world. There are more shades to the color pizza than you people are willing to see. Nuff said.
posted by zardoz at 4:49 PM on May 2, 2012

They've been selling stuff like that at Pizza Hut and Pizza Company in Thailand for years - the outer rim of the pizza is composed of pull-apart sausage rolls, or shrip cocktails, or heaps of other stuff.

The NPR article has it EXACTLY right. Who are you to decide what pizza looks like outside Italy? If we're gonna eat fatty meats slathered in cheese, how's a pizza different to a cheeseburger?

Besides, Thailand has a history of reinventing Western food. A fairly popular dessert is what looks like a 7-11 slushee on a piece of toast. Antoehr is taking cubes of white bread and dunking them in green pandan custard.

Anyway, that Burger-pizza looks delicious.
posted by Sedition at 6:11 PM on May 2, 2012 [1 favorite]

As I've said elsewhere about this (I can't remember where), I'm shocked this wasn't invented in Korea. There are some crazy, awful, deeply wrong takes on pizza that come from the big pizza chains here, beside which this looks positively appetizing.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:40 PM on May 2, 2012

I think it looks and sounds good. I don't get the uproar, and I especially don't get uproarers fear that this pizza is too excessive or gluttonous. It's pizza. You are totally in control of how many pieces you have. In fact, out of all the other meals I can think of, only pizza gives you the ability to have less. So if you look at the pizza and think "gluttony", this is more a reflection of yourself, not the pizza.
posted by BurnChao at 7:55 PM on May 2, 2012

You are totally in control of how many pieces you have.

Speak for yourself, Mr Willpower.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:12 PM on May 2, 2012 [2 favorites]

In fact, out of all the other meals I can think of, only pizza gives you the ability to have less.

So, no matter what a pizza is made out of or topped with, it shouldn't be able to give the impression of gluttony? Hmmm... this seems like quite a tempting challenge...
posted by XMLicious at 8:40 PM on May 2, 2012

It's worth remembering the deep-fried pizzas of Scotland. Culinarily in the same league, but inexplicably actually made by members of the Italian community.

I think the thing about the deep fried pizza is that it's a fantastic way for chip shops, often Scots-Italian run, to add value* to dirt cheap ingredients with remarkably little investment of labour. Take the lowest of the low frozen cash 'n' carry pizzas, dredge in batter, deep-fry and sell at a mark-up of several hundred percent. It obviously requires a particular market, but it's a work of evil genius. The crown of boils pizza is just a work of evil*.

*"fat and batter", this is Scotland.
*"marketing", this is the 21st century.
posted by howfar at 3:28 AM on May 3, 2012

Just being goofy with my wife, I always call California Pizza Kitchen: California Pizza Chicken! Because it sounds similar...but it's obviously not a chicken...so...that's funny. Kinda.

Anyway

After seeing all of these insane food combos I think there is probably actually a market for a California Pizza Chicken. I can see it now, picture a Chicken Cordon Bleu - except instead of ham and cheese, it's a Totino's pizza roll. That would definitely sell big.

I also think Pfizer and Medtronic are secretly the funding engines behind Yum! brands.
posted by AndrewKemendo at 5:08 AM on May 3, 2012

I think the thing about the deep fried pizza is that it's a fantastic way for chip shops, often Scots-Italian run, to add value* to dirt cheap ingredients with remarkably little investment of labour.

My husband likes to tell the story of how when he first moved down to England he went to a chippy after a night out and tried to order his usual "cheese pizza and chips" and the guy at the counter tells him, "Sorry mate, we don't have an oven," to which he incredulously replied, "What do you need an oven for?"
posted by like_neon at 5:10 AM on May 3, 2012

Given the strictness of the drug laws, do they just automatically arrest anyone who buys this for suspicion of possession?
posted by feloniousmonk at 5:38 PM on May 5, 2012