Jon Hamm says, Slow Your Roll

May 9, 2012 1:11 PM

Are you a teen girl tired of looking for advice in fluffy magazines? Perhaps you should Ask A Grown Man! Watch Jon Hamm, Paul Rudd, Hannibal Buress, and other gents dole out advice on love, sex, and who farts (spoiler alert: everyone).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero (53 comments total)

Won't teenage girls consider all these guys to be over the hill? I know when I was in my teens, men in their thirties and forties were of zero interest to me.
posted by orange swan at 1:22 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

I have never farted. Not once. Nope.
posted by spicynuts at 1:22 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Woo. Almost threw up from Hannibal Burress's effects effect but...pretty funny nonetheless.
posted by bquarters at 1:22 PM on May 9, 2012

Although maybe the advice to take up crack to make your boyfriend stop drinking and doing drugs may be open to misinterpretation.
posted by bquarters at 1:24 PM on May 9, 2012

I somehow saw the Paul Rudd one when it was new but had no idea that it was part of a series of videos. Therefore: Awesome.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:27 PM on May 9, 2012

If you smelled the fart, then you dealt the fart. If you spoke your mind and said "wow that smells funky," then it clearly came from your behind.
posted by livinglearning at 1:32 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Ok, now I am more in love with Jon Hamm than ever. "Slow your roll". Jon Hamm, adopt me or marry me, I'll take either. (Actually the adopting wouldn't work due to my inappropriate feelings).
posted by bquarters at 1:34 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

I still want Jon Hamm to play Superman.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:35 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Jon Hamm telling teenage girls that everyone gets crushes gives ME butterflies in the stomach.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:39 PM on May 9, 2012 [19 favorites]

"Use your best judgement, or talk to someone with better judgement."

That's actually priceless. On another note, I have always wondered what kind of guy Paul Rudd is, and now I know, He's kind of... plain.
posted by thetoken at 1:41 PM on May 9, 2012

Won't teenage girls consider all these guys to be over the hill? I know when I was in my teens, men in their thirties and forties were of zero interest to me.

Not only that, would a young teenaged girl's mom want her taking advice from some 41-year-old guy? Especially a guy who looks like Jon Hamm? Mom probably wants to do him herself.

"Slow your roll." Mmm hmm.
posted by fuse theorem at 1:45 PM on May 9, 2012

He's kind of... plain.


But so..... cute. Gah. Squee.
posted by functionequalsform at 1:46 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Won't teenage girls consider all these guys to be over the hill? I know when I was in my teens, men in their thirties and forties were of zero interest to me.

Man, the youngest celebrity I liked as a teenage girl was Jerry O'Connell. Who was . . . nine years older than I was? My big teen heart-throb was Dave Duchovny. Jon Hamm and Paul Rudd would have been right up my alley.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:51 PM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

He is insanely cute. Those glasses. Sigh. But Jon Hamm....there is just no competition. What is it about that guy??? I see the still shot and think he looks like a madman (haha), then he starts talking...I'm in love.
posted by bquarters at 1:51 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

That's actually priceless. On another note, I have always wondered what kind of guy Paul Rudd is, and now I know, He's kind of... plain

My two degrees of separation story: My best friend's mom cleaned his teeth. She said he was very nice and polite.

I mean, he's a dude from suburban Kansas City, y'know? We're about as inoffensively Midwestern as you can get. And, uh, we're all just as attractive as he is. I promise. ...ladies?
posted by dismas at 1:52 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

You're probably all too young to watch Mad Men so.... enjoy The Hunger Games.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:53 PM on May 9, 2012 [7 favorites]

Jon Hamm telling teenage girls that everyone gets crushes gives ME butterflies in the stomach.

I KNOW!!!!! Sexiest thing I've seen all week.

God. I must be a married woman in my 30s.
posted by Madamina at 1:54 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

I have always wondered what kind of guy Paul Rudd is, and now I know, He's kind of... plain.

Yeah, I was really looking forward to that one, because I generally find Paul Rudd hilarious, but yeah...plain.

Jon Hamm, on the other hand, was pretty good, and his advice was pretty spot on. However, after hearing his voice weekly on Mad Men, it seemed like he had a cold or something. I like that he was wearing a Cardinals shirt in the video, too.
posted by mysterpigg at 1:54 PM on May 9, 2012

What would underage girls say to these guys?

D I - N O - S A - U R a dinosaur
O L - D M - AN you're just an old man
hitting on me, whaaa?
posted by msalt at 1:59 PM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

That Hannibal Buress was more like ask a transhuman cyborg overlord from the year 3000, while you're on mushrooms.
posted by delmoi at 2:08 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

It's unfair that those of us with normal amounts of charm have to live in the same world as Jon Hamm. Shouldn't there be some sort of league system? Handicapping? Something!
posted by the young rope-rider at 2:13 PM on May 9, 2012 [9 favorites]

BJ Novak is the most insightful-seeming of the group, particularly in his answer to "how much do looks matter to guys."
posted by space cat at 2:13 PM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

Won't teenage girls consider all these guys to be over the hill? I know when I was in my teens, men in their thirties and forties were of zero interest to me.

I believe that the point isn't "oooh, advice from dreamy heartthrobs!" but rather "oh, advice from adult guys who maybe know more about the adult world into which I am moving than boys my own age do, plus since they are adult men they are somewhat less likely to be creeps to me since they have at least, like, twenty-year-old starlets to be creeps to if that's how they roll". The audience for Rookie is not the same audience as for, like, Seventeen.

I remember reading Sassy and there was some kind of advice column with Kurt Cobain in it; at the time he seemed ridiculously adult and thus worldly-wise.
posted by Frowner at 2:18 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Can't view these at work: can someone tell me who farts?
posted by Melismata at 2:18 PM on May 9, 2012

Everybody, Melismata, everybody. SBDs definitely do count.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:24 PM on May 9, 2012

Each video is just twenty minutes of its respective subject farting.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:25 PM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

BTW: Rookie magazine is fucking amazing. It's produced entirely by young women from all across the planet. It was started by pint-size fashion blogger Tavi Gevinson, and it's got really interesting content. Fuck yes for women stepping up to create something that is so desperately needed.

(also, the likelihood of an "ask a grown woman" feature appearing in any teenage boys magazines is probably zero, but I wish to all heaven it existed).
posted by Jon_Evil at 2:26 PM on May 9, 2012 [7 favorites]

I really enjoyed BJ Novak's very serious beanplating of the "how many kisses in a text message" question.

Also: "If you are honest and kind your friendship will survive. You don't need to strategize your friendship so much". That's pretty good advice for everyone, not just teenage girls.
posted by Doleful Creature at 2:29 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

I've don't think I've ever seen BJ Novak out of character as Ryan except for maybe on stage for a few seconds at an awards show - and I'm so glad that he seems just as much of the opposite of the character as I've always kinda hoped (as I had a coworker who looked just like him at my first job who was like Ryan but more of a dick - no seriously) -- the way he didn't laugh at the "what the exchange rate is between 4-6 or 7 kisses at the end of texts" or whatever... and manages to say what the real issue is ('don't have a relationship entirely over text!') without being a dick.


the young rope-rider: "It's unfair that those of us with normal amounts of charm have to live in the same world as Jon Hamm."

I sometimes almost feel that way - but then I realize the true unfairness would be living in world without Jon Hamm. And that's just sadder than I can communicate in text.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:30 PM on May 9, 2012 [5 favorites]

I thought *famous* guys in their thirties and forties were super hot when I was a teen. Actual guys that age? Probably not. But this I would have been into.

Also some friends met Paul Rudd and said he was really nice.
posted by sweetkid at 2:33 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's unfair that those of us with normal amounts of charm have to live in the same world as Jon Hamm. Shouldn't there be some sort of league system? Handicapping? Something!

I suggest we have him sequestered in a lab for study. Best case, we get a rigorous theory of charm and a handy guidebook; worst case, we all look more charming by comparison while he's out of the picture.
posted by invitapriore at 2:41 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

(also, the likelihood of an "ask a grown woman" feature appearing in any teenage boys magazines is probably zero, but I wish to all heaven it existed).

However, it DOES appear within Rookie's "pages." Ask a Grown Woman.

Was I the only one who kinda got a slight slimy nice guy vibe from Novak?
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:43 PM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

Once we can identify and synthesize positive charm particles we can begin human testing. Exposure to concentrations of Hamm extract resulted in some very likable lab rats.
posted by The Whelk at 2:44 PM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

PhoBWanKenobi -- I was all excited to see what wisdom Grown Women could impart to 14 year old guys, but it appears that the Rookie column is more aimed at questions 14 year old girls would Ask A Grown Woman. Like: what's it like to date another girl?

Which is also awesome, but a different awesome than what I was particularly looking for.
posted by bl1nk at 2:46 PM on May 9, 2012

These are great. Special bonus link - don't miss the brilliant interview with John Waters.
posted by roger ackroyd at 2:52 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Of course a big problem in the field right now is that the slightest mistake in the synthesis process results in "strange" particles instead. Those rats held eye contact for just a little too long and many were sporting tiny fedoras.
posted by invitapriore at 2:59 PM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

The less said about the "Down" particle the better, except that the subjects did produce some very good, if very very angry poetry in-between binges.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Why is BJ Novak so cranky? (Besides Adobe Acrobat trying to get him to update his software. Because, come on.)
posted by simulacra at 3:14 PM on May 9, 2012

Oh man, when I was a teen I was all over older guys and would have been completely into this. If "Ask a Grown Man--1983" had existed, my 14-year-old self would have *died* if 41-year-old Harrison Ford had spoken right into the camera and said that guys get crushes too.

(*omg Harrison Ford is talking to meeeeeeee*)
posted by tzikeh at 3:21 PM on May 9, 2012 [14 favorites]

Why is BJ Novak so cranky?

Ratings for The Office have taken a nosedive since Steve Carell left and he's one of the producers.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:47 PM on May 9, 2012

(also, the likelihood of an "ask a grown woman" feature appearing in any teenage boys magazines is probably zero, but I wish to all heaven it existed).

I think that has more to do with the content of magazines aimed at teen boys then it does to do with what teen boys would be interested in hearing.

I don't think there's really an exact mapping between the "teen girl" magazines like seventeen, etc in the boys world. For whatever reason, teen boys just don't seem as interested in introspection, advice, romance and so on. When I was a teen boy I read magazines about the internet (Wired), Comic Books (Wizard), computers (boot) and several magazines about video games (starting with Nintendo Power as a pre-teen and gradually adding magazines aimed at older kids/adults)

So a lot of the magazines I liked as a teen weren't even "teen specific", they were just magazines about things teen boys happened to like (games, comics, computers) -- There's also the question of how much teens even read "magazines" these days, as opposed to websites, blogs and message boards.

That said, I'm sure teen boys would definitely be into something like this. Lots of guys call into Loveline. There are lots of Reddit AMAs with women, I'm sure some of the questions come from teens. I'm sure a lot of the questions would be somewhat puerile, though.
posted by delmoi at 4:04 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Won't teenage girls consider all these guys to be over the hill? I know when I was in my teens, men in their thirties and forties were of zero interest to me.

Oh my god, but I would have KILLED to have Kurt Russell or Harrison Ford do these videos for my teenage self in the 90s. KILLED!

Did Paul Rudd film his in a stairwell or something?
posted by Sayuri. at 4:05 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

/high-fives tzikeh

To Harrison Ford, breaking teenage hearts one decade at a time!
posted by Sayuri. at 4:07 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

^5 Sayuri. !
posted by tzikeh at 4:21 PM on May 9, 2012

Yeah, Harrison Ford would have done it for 14-year-old me, too. At which point he would have been...56? So...yeah. High fives all around.
posted by naoko at 5:01 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

The audience for Rookie is not the same audience as for, like, Seventeen

There's considerable overlap. This is cute, but I know my teenage daughter wouldn't have paid 2 seconds of attention to these old guys, as she has a father and big brother.

I think this is more about Rookie being able to book big-name talent.
posted by Ideefixe at 6:18 PM on May 9, 2012

I cannot tell if Paul Rudd has tiny eyes or he always looks baked.

Discuss.
posted by stormpooper at 6:26 PM on May 9, 2012

I'm still squeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ing over Jon Hamm assuring Brittany, age 16ish, that she's probably a lovely person and should go enjoy that.

Which is good because it's keeping my brain from asploding trying to work out the amount of charm contained in the person on whom Jon Hamm has a crush. Now THAT requires some serious study for the sake of humanity.
posted by sonika at 8:05 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Rudd now perpetually reminds me of his character on Parks and Rec even when playing serious roles. I watched Diggers last night and kept expecting him to turn back into a vacuous, spoiled man-boy. Watching him ponder aloud why guys like boobs didn't help.
posted by salvia at 8:56 PM on May 9, 2012

Jon Hamm's interview on Marc Marin's WTF podcast was super interesting, not to mention charming. Highly recommended.
posted by Phire at 9:12 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

What is the deal with boobs? They're awesome.

Flagged as best answer.
posted by j03 at 10:57 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Jon Hamm and Paul Rudd would have been right up my alley.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:51 PM on May 9

Oooooo...

Oh, okay. I'll restrain myself. Just.
posted by Decani at 8:08 AM on May 10, 2012

"Farting is farting. Everybody farts. Go read that book, "Everybody Poops", same thing."

Ok, I wasn't feeling the Hamm charm. Then there was that.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:34 AM on May 10, 2012