We interrupt our programming. This is a national emergency.
This is an Emergency Action Notification. All broadcast stations and cable systems shall transmit this Emergency Action Notification Message. This station has interrupted its regular programming at the request of the White House to participate in the Emergency Alert System.
During this emergency, most stations will remain on the air providing news and information to the public in assigned areas. This is $CALL_SIGN. We will continue to serve the $LOCATION area. If you are not in this Local Area, you should tune to stations providing news and information for you Local Area. You are listening to the Emergency Alert System serving the $LOCATION area.
Do not use your telephone. The telephone lines should be kept open for emergency use.
Why? That's vastly outside of NWS's mission...
INCLUDING THE ENTIRE US
208 PM EDT FRI MAY 25 2012 / 108 PM CDT FRI MAY 25 2012/
...NUCLEAR ATTACK WARNING...
THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY IN WASHINGTON DC HAS
ISSUED A CIVIL EMERGENCY WARNING FOR IMMINENT NUCLEAR
* TIMING/DURATION...AS OF 14:03 EDT, NORAD HAS DETECTED
MULTIPLE BALLISTIC MISSLE LAUNCHES AIMED AT NUMEROUS
TARGETS IN THE UNITED STATES
* OTHER IMPACTS...MASSIVE CASUALTIES AND PROPERTY DAMAGE
* PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
BEND OVER AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE
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