"Drink when ambivalence haunts you."

May 26, 2012 10:35 PM

The Overthinking Person's Drinking Game
posted by the man of twists and turns (68 comments total)

That's a prescription for alcoholism!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:37 PM on May 26, 2012 [8 favorites]

They forgot "Drink cause you can't sleep cause you're fixating on reliving that one time you where shitty to someone...when you where seven."
posted by The Whelk at 10:37 PM on May 26, 2012 [99 favorites]

*waterboards self with whiskey*
posted by naju at 10:48 PM on May 26, 2012 [24 favorites]

From self-experience, I know this would only be truly overthinking if it compelled you not to drink.
posted by Apropos of Something at 10:49 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Okay, I'm a quarter of a way down this list and just sucked down about a third of a bottle of red wine. I think I should stop now.

Also: "Drink if you become suddenly anxious after socializing because you are not sure whether you are sincerely responding to other people's needs and feelings, or attempting to manipulate them into liking you."
posted by Grimgrin at 10:50 PM on May 26, 2012 [43 favorites]

or attempting to manipulate them into liking you.

This explains my constant haze.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:53 PM on May 26, 2012

Hahahaha funny.....*sob*.
posted by zabuni at 10:58 PM on May 26, 2012 [9 favorites]

Seems more like a list for the overthinking anxious and depressed person.

There's so much bright and happy stuff in the world to completely overthink! Tipping! Birthday etiquette! Who has to sleep in the wet spot!

Overthinking isn't all just moping around.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:59 PM on May 26, 2012 [17 favorites]

Let's just say bourbon was a bad choice here.

Or, perhaps the greatest choice ever. Either way, really.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:03 PM on May 26, 2012

If you find yourself overthinking, toke.

Problem solved.
posted by Scientist at 11:22 PM on May 26, 2012 [8 favorites]

Drink if you become suddenly anxious after socializing because you are not sure whether you are sincerely responding to other people's needs and feelings, or attempting to manipulate them into liking you.

I read that one as "attempting to manipulate them into killing you" and was all, "Yup, that happens all the time."
posted by lollusc at 11:24 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

The underthinking person's drinking game is much easier to describe:

Drink.

posted by Rhomboid at 11:36 PM on May 26, 2012 [8 favorites]

Are you attempting to kill Metafilter via alcohol poisoning?
posted by Saydur at 11:44 PM on May 26, 2012 [12 favorites]

If you wonder if the glass in front of you is something you should really drink, drink.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:51 PM on May 26, 2012

If you find yourself overthinking, toke.

Problem solved.

For some of us this exacerbates the issue.
posted by Elminster of Labor at 11:54 PM on May 26, 2012 [12 favorites]

I am very familiar with this game.
posted by midmarch snowman at 11:58 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

There was a Letter to the Editor recently in the Oregonian newspaper about a new drinking game:
"Next time, take a big sip every time a (Republican) candidate mentions former president George W. Bush. It's not much fun, but everyone goes home sober." s/ Sid Leader
posted by Cranberry at 12:14 AM on May 27, 2012 [24 favorites]

If after reading the criteria of this game, you question whether or not its existence validates the universality of your condition and are overcome with a sense of crippling guilt at the possibility of having lived your life up unti this moment in a haze of selfish vanity, finish the damn bottle already.
posted by gohabsgo at 12:18 AM on May 27, 2012 [10 favorites]

I was surprised at how few of these paragraphs applied to me. I guess there's more than one kind of crippling self-doubt and fruitless introspection.
posted by hattifattener at 1:08 AM on May 27, 2012 [6 favorites]

You're overthinking it. Drink.
posted by chomarui at 1:36 AM on May 27, 2012

Thanks, this is just the thing I was looking for this Sunday morning.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:47 AM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I prefer the underthinking drinking game. It goes like this:

If you feel like a drink, drink.
posted by Decani at 2:19 AM on May 27, 2012

Also, DRINK!
posted by Decani at 2:23 AM on May 27, 2012

This gave an anxiety attack.

Be right back, Valium vacation.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 2:29 AM on May 27, 2012

If you kept waiting for the list to mention a plate of beans, drink.
posted by smirkette at 4:49 AM on May 27, 2012 [3 favorites]

Overthinking isn't all just moping around.

Oh, great. Now my little brain is going to spend a few hours on the hamster wheel of "why can't I even do overthinking right?"
posted by drlith at 4:58 AM on May 27, 2012 [13 favorites]

The Overthinking Person's Drinking Game

Graduate school?
posted by nanojath at 5:53 AM on May 27, 2012 [26 favorites]

If you've ever tried to balance a desire for fame against the certain knowledge that your private life would never withstand public scrutiny, drink.

Wait, that's just me? Dammit.
posted by Mooski at 5:56 AM on May 27, 2012 [8 favorites]

I still overthink when I'm drunk, but I do it badly.
posted by LogicalDash at 6:06 AM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

If you're self-obsessed but have never experienced a moment of actual suffering or adversity in your life....
posted by Segundus at 6:52 AM on May 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

Seems more like a list for the overthinking anxious and depressed person.


Agree, or the narcissist drinking game.

This is only a particular kind of overthinking. It's personally obsessed ruminating. Now, there's nothing wrong with that - well, okay, there is, but nothing a few years of therapy can't make you feel mildly hopeful of curing - but there is indeed so much more to overthink. Like how to best pack your bag for a trip, maximizing toothbrushing, brewing the perfect cup of coffee, and whether Trapper John or Honicut was the best foil for Hawkeye.

Live a little!
posted by Miko at 7:10 AM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Amusing, but warning: Do not go in without an ad-blocker thoroughly in place.
posted by tempythethird at 7:11 AM on May 27, 2012

What are we drinking?
posted by punkfloyd at 7:20 AM on May 27, 2012

i am playing this game all the time
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:29 AM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm drunk. Now what?
posted by infini at 7:37 AM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Me too. Wanna think about stuff together?
posted by lazaruslong at 7:49 AM on May 27, 2012

If, as you contemplate your own navel, the realization that a vast, meandering, corpse- and tragedy-strewn evolutionary path has led to a creature that spends a significant portion of it's flickering presence on this mortal coil performing abject self-noodlery, then I recommend a perfect manhattan, 2 parts bourbon, one sweet vermouth, one dry vermouth, seasoned with a few drops of Angostura bitters, or tears, whichever is nearer to hand.
posted by lalochezia at 8:00 AM on May 27, 2012 [9 favorites]

man, I think if I followed this with water I would get water poisoning...

amusingly dark to me, though makes me ponder other RL event based drinking games. say, day at the office or movie date.

but those probably already exist somewhere on the net.
posted by AngelWuff at 8:17 AM on May 27, 2012

Milk was a bad choice.
posted by pazazygeek at 8:19 AM on May 27, 2012 [9 favorites]

I love this drinking game because I think so much. It's difficult to be thinking all the time. Right now, I'm thinking about a math problem I saw in the newspaper. Next, I'll be thinking about an important political controversy. After that— another math problem. I have no time to stop thinking.
posted by yaymukund at 8:30 AM on May 27, 2012

or the narcissist drinking game.

A Friend of Mine would suggest that it's possible to over think things without being a narcissist.

They go on further to suggest, lightly -- and with a slightly left winded whimsy -- , that that often the best solution to all of the other problems are to short-circuit the over thinking by, just doing a quick time (and price) limited search


When packing your bag for a trip, think outside the bag: buy a multi-pocket HSF(untinghootingishing) vest and pack all your heavy and really-don't-want-to-lose stuff in that. This may save you a fortune in flight costs, and also means you have all the stuff you need whenever and wherever you arrive.


Maximising toothbrushing is a difficult one. The first part is moderately obvious: get a decent electric toothbrush, with a timing function to make sure you spend the full 2 minutes while incoherently swearing at those bastard sheep that visit your Friend's House. With their big sheepy eyes. Beyond that, though, it helps to have a good burny mouth wash, and regular flossing. [not that I've mastered that height of tooth beautification on behalf of my Friend (who has no teeth, also no understanding of the word "delivery", which can often be sudden and amusing).


The perfect cup of coffee: this is quite an easy one, it's got bugger all about coffee and everything about context. Taste in coffee is like sex (albeit better): it helps if it's wild, and you made it yourself, and your friends write sonnets about it, and it's rare, and it's rich, and it keeps you up all night.


And that's the wrong question: Trapper John AND Hunicot are almost the answer, in that the show wouldn't have been the same without any of them. But the Correct answer is, of course: Radar O'Reilly. And, I have proof: I don't know of what.
posted by titus-g at 8:50 AM on May 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

That's Hunnicut.
posted by infini at 8:54 AM on May 27, 2012

If you spent more than three minutes thinking of a funny comment to add to this thread, then... hey, whaddar YEW lookin at.
posted by not_on_display at 8:55 AM on May 27, 2012

Although I don't identify specifically with many of the examples on this list, what it captures quite well is the form of those crippling mental/emotional glitches it's all too easy to get caught in; it even touches on that guilt loop where you feel worse when you realize that you are stuck in a glitch because isn't that way too self-focused and other people don't overthink these things this much, then you feel angry at yourself & angry at the world for not being able to figure it out & just fucking function, and also ashamed because no one has a true idea of how much effort you are wasting on something that is probably trivial to them - so this is obviously another proof of how broken you must be. No wonder you need a drink: anything to shut your brain up for five goddamned minutes, because it is exhausting to live that way.
posted by flex at 9:23 AM on May 27, 2012 [7 favorites]

Beans & Brandy
posted by WalkingAround at 9:52 AM on May 27, 2012

Socially awkward penguin, the drinking game.

Also, this is just in time for my birthday party. Whee.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:59 AM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Trapper John or [Hunnicut] was the best foil for Hawkeye.

They were both right for their eras. Early on when Hawkeye was more about frat boy antics, Trapper was perfect. When they started bringing out his emotional depth BJ was the right guy.

Of course I say this without having overthought it, so I reserve the right to change my hyperactive little mind later.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:02 AM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

My GOT drinking game. Watch GOT, drink continuously
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:06 AM on May 27, 2012

Agree, or the narcissist drinking game.

Yeah, idk. Narcissism doesn't involve a whole lot of feelings of inadequacy or fears that you might not be super awesome or worries that you might have more than you deserve.
posted by elizardbits at 10:22 AM on May 27, 2012 [3 favorites]

If you notice that you unconsciously but consistently put yourself into situations that deprive you of your resources and move you further away from your goals, drink

But...but...I already spend too much money and time on alcohol!
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:35 AM on May 27, 2012

I WON!
posted by lekvar at 11:36 AM on May 27, 2012

That ain't overthinking, it's neurosis! (and I should know).
posted by symbioid at 12:22 PM on May 27, 2012

Overthinking isn't all just moping around.

It is. You just haven't thought it through.
posted by vidur at 12:59 PM on May 27, 2012

If you can’t tell whether you’re actually in a negative situation or just an ungrateful person who blames everyone else for your problems, drink.

*slurp*
posted by malapropist at 1:44 PM on May 27, 2012

Take a deep breath.

Add up, mentally or using your fingers, everyone you have ever loved.

Subtract everyone who has loved you back.

Divide by the number of times you have cried at the death of a pet, or loved one.

Please continue holding your breath.
posted by Sebmojo at 2:05 PM on May 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

If you've ever felt like it would be a good idea to try to write a thing for McSweeny's Internet Tendency, drink heavily.
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:04 PM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah, idk. Narcissism doesn't involve a whole lot of feelings of inadequacy or fears that you might not be super awesome or worries that you might have more than you deserve.

It does include hypersensitivity to others finding fault with you, so I think a lot on the list still applies....
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 11:04 PM on May 27, 2012

Drink when ambivalence haunts you.

Yes, yes, I do.
posted by converge at 12:54 AM on May 28, 2012

This is good. And very close.
posted by flippant at 3:10 AM on May 28, 2012

Beans & Brandy
posted by WalkingAround at 9:52 AM on May 27 [+] [!]


I am some what concerned that you were apparently following me around all weekend....
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 3:10 AM on May 28, 2012

Drink if you aren’t sure whether you are assuming too much responsibility for your own current unhappiness or not enough.

.... Monday? Is that you? Hello?
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 3:12 AM on May 28, 2012

A Friend of Mine would suggest that it's possible to over think things without being a narcissist.

Right, you've perceived my point!

As to whether it's real narcissism or not? OK, maybe not. Change it to "obsessively self-involved" then.
posted by Miko at 5:26 AM on May 28, 2012

Calm down everyone: If you can read a thoughtcatalog article all the way through, you probably aren't overthinking*.

*Currently too hungover for thinking or reading.
posted by Arquimedez Pozo at 6:47 AM on May 28, 2012

I feel like I should just print this out and take it to my therapist. It would save me a good deal of time.
posted by Lutoslawski at 4:35 PM on May 29, 2012

This isn't for people who think too much. It's for people who feel too much. There's a big difference.

People who think too much just become nerds. They spend their lives happily* working on whatever variety of puzzle has captured their interest (computers, philosophy, graduate school, whatever). In fact, thinking (calmly, rationally, without engaging your feelings) is one remedy for the anxiety implicit in the drinking game rules, as thinking actually either resolves (by providing a solution) or dissolves (by showing the issue to be a meaningless misuse of language) most of the issues mentioned.

* or unhappily, as the case may be, because unhappiness can obviously persist even in the face of intelligence and thoughtfulness.

The world needs more thinking, not less.
posted by gd779 at 7:44 PM on May 31, 2012

as thinking actually either resolves (by providing a solution) or dissolves (by showing the issue to be a meaningless misuse of language) most of the issues mentioned.

Man, are you sure? I could totally use that point-by-point irrefutable list of why these are all solvable or meaningless.

But no, thoughtful, rational-leaning people are haunted by overwhelming ambiguity and doubts the same as everyone else, or more so, I'd think. It's not about feelings/emotions, it's about recognizing the complexity of the world around you and coming to terms with your failure to confront it in any satisfying way.
posted by naju at 9:34 AM on June 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

In fact, thinking (calmly, rationally, without engaging your feelings) is one remedy for the anxiety implicit in the drinking game rules, as thinking actually either resolves (by providing a solution) or dissolves

Thinking doesn't always resolve these things, at all. In fact, people who think a lot, people who think intelligently and critically, are often most prone to the mental habit of rumination, which can in fact get to be fairly emotionally crippling, let alone intellectually distracting.

One of the greatest emotional lifesavers of my adulthood has been coming to the understanding that no, my thinking hard and long about any given situation is not always going to produce a solution, and is sometimes actively responsible for making me feel and worse and worse. I've gotten a lot better at stopping the thinking process when it becomes distressing, and recognizing when it's flatly unproductive.
posted by Miko at 1:43 PM on June 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm with Miko there. Mindfulness meditation works much better for me than trying to reason with the unreasonable.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:21 PM on June 1, 2012