Bad apartment photos
July 3, 2012 7:03 PM   Subscribe

Bad apartment photos [via mefi projects]
posted by the young rope-rider (58 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
My husband would see nothing wrong with these. He also saw nothing wrong with the trailer which had its entire interior (up to the ceiling) covered in white linoleum, or the house that looked great from the pictures but smelled like 100 years of heavy smoking. He loves a bargain. He doesn't get to pick any places we live now.
posted by emjaybee at 7:09 PM on July 3, 2012 [9 favorites]


Many of those are just fine, especially the really nice red kitchen. Not sure what the criteria are for constituting bad.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:12 PM on July 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


Yeah, I think I've lived in most of these.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:16 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


are there rats? If not, what's the problem?
posted by HuronBob at 7:16 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


I have always wanted to live in an apartment with its own moat.
posted by griphus at 7:17 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I rented a place where the slope of the roof came down to 3in above the kitchen countertop, so I had to duck to wash the dishes. The constantly-drunk housemate who would leave his dishes unwashed for 6 weeks and chainsmoked in the living room didn't exactly help.
posted by dunkadunc at 7:18 PM on July 3, 2012


It's fascinating to me all the ways I see people demonstrate a complete inability to figure out general principles from a bunch of specific examples of something (that's inductive resoning, I think). Like these people have all probably seen lots of photos of apartments--clearly they understand their listing needs photos--but they can't figure out that having a big pile of garbage or a random head poking into frame isn't something you should do. If you asked them, have you ever seen an apartment listing photo with a random head, they'd recognize that they haven't, but they just can't come up with it on their own.

It's a common problem. Nearly all of my homicidal rages are caused by people failing at inductive (?) reasoning.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:19 PM on July 3, 2012 [7 favorites]


Oh, I wish I had taken photos of the place we looked at that listed.

If you had spilled marbles in it, they would have been simplicity itself to pick up
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:20 PM on July 3, 2012


For further upthread: the title is a little ambiguous... the photos are bad/unflattering. I don't think it is about the apartments themselves as much as taking out of focus shots, pictures of rubbish or unflattering room angles.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 7:20 PM on July 3, 2012


Me too, griphus! I was just coming back here to link to that one. I would totally live there. (I'd keep a rowboat tied to my porch just in case, though.)
posted by hattifattener at 7:21 PM on July 3, 2012


Deductive.
posted by cashman at 7:21 PM on July 3, 2012


They're funny but not terrible. Less bad than some post 'unfuck your habitat' photos.

Note: As reference in first picture- I think the problem with the "Money Pit" movie is that it came out in the '80s when most of us were kids. We were just expected to laugh. Unfortunately truth is what makes humor and relatability and lots of us little kids just didn't understand how freaking expensive housing is and how much unnecessary costs (or necessary but unenjoyable costs- like on Peep Show "one thousand dollars for a new boiler so I can basically go back to status quo") affect your life and bank account. So...know your audience I guess, studio heads. Lecture over.
posted by bquarters at 7:26 PM on July 3, 2012


This makes me nostalgic for my last apartment in NYC, with a toilet placed directly in front of a floor-to-ceiling window. And exactly twelve inches of counter space in the wall of the living room that masqueraded as a kitchen.

Good times.
posted by ambrosia at 7:33 PM on July 3, 2012


I was thinking about making a similar website [but never would] after I just stumbled across this house for sale. You would have to say the photographer has not gone to great lengths to say "buy me now!"
posted by meech at 7:34 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


Deductive

No. Deductive reasoning does not proceed from instances to a generalization. Inductive was right. (Or maybe abductive.)
posted by kenko at 7:35 PM on July 3, 2012


Related, another mefi-project from back in the day: It's Lovely! I'll Take It!
posted by Navelgazer at 7:43 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


I am on the hunt for a new apartment now and the going winner for worst photo was a fuzzy one of half a bathroom, with the toilet seat stained and up and a roll of toilet tissue unfurling behind it. Fail.
posted by jetlagaddict at 7:43 PM on July 3, 2012


I know - I thought the problem was the lack of realizing how successful photos generally are, and taking that to the specific example of their own photo.
posted by cashman at 7:43 PM on July 3, 2012


Most of the posts are just trying to make fun of people with bad taste or a bad sense of design, but lack the wit to make it... funny. Truly bad apartment photos would speak for themselves.
posted by Flashman at 7:46 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I always took it as a hint. The people that take the photos where it looks crappy, I feel like either overtly or subliminally they are trying to tell me you get what you see. The ones with 4 or 5 photos and they are all of the outside of the building from far away, a window where nothing else can be discerned, and another photo of the outside of the building from a different and less helpful angle - well that was just a hint for me to not waste my time. If you can't be bothered to take pictures that look decent, you probably haven't been taking care of the place. I always love the "no pictures, sorry!" posts too. I'll take pictures from the day the building was built over no pics.
posted by cashman at 7:50 PM on July 3, 2012


LOL lower middle class.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 7:57 PM on July 3, 2012 [6 favorites]


Lesson learned after moving in to seven apartments in seven years:

Never ever check out a place where the photos clearly show a half-finished renovation.

It'll still be half finished when you come to look at the place. It'll still be half-finished when you move in (no matter how many promises you get to the contrary.)
posted by Jeanne at 8:15 PM on July 3, 2012


It'll still be half finished when you come to look at the place. It'll still be half-finished when you move in (no matter how many promises you get to the contrary.)

And, in my experience, still half-finished when you move out.
posted by Forktine at 8:22 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I have discovered there is a wealth sweet-spot between "enough money to buy a domicile and renovate and decorate the whole thing EXACTLY to your idiosyncratic personal taste" and "enough money to have everything redone in beige and white when you move out." And that sweet spot is WHY ARE THERE SO MANY WALLPAPER BORDERS??? a.k.a. SERIOUSLY THEY SELL BLACK BATHTUBS FOUR FEET DEEP??? a.k.a WAIT YOU HAD A CUSTOM GUN RACK INSTALLED IN PLACE OF THE MASTER BEDROOM CLOSET???
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:27 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Forktine: "And, in my experience, still half-finished when you move out."

My dear departed Grandmother used to visit my parents, look at the house they have occupied for over 45 years and say "It'll be nice when it's finished". It was finished, had been finished for years and she would say this EVERY time. Guaranteed way to make my father twitch.
posted by arcticseal at 8:29 PM on July 3, 2012 [4 favorites]


Eh. If you have to explain the jokes so much, they aren't really jokes.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:41 PM on July 3, 2012


I have a red kitchen and reasonably, I think it looks pretty good.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 8:41 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Haha! My place is 10 times worse! I need close ups of the dry to really judge.
posted by swooz at 8:43 PM on July 3, 2012


I have a red kitchen and reasonably, I think it looks pretty good.

The last time I was in Ikea, they were having a 30% off sale on red cabinets, and I was seriously tempted.
posted by Forktine at 8:52 PM on July 3, 2012


My favorite terrible thing I ever saw in a house on the market -- and this was in the house of an architect who built it himself -- was a PASS-THROUGH WINDOW from the kitchen to the bathroom. Right next to the stove, over the counter, to right opposite the john ... or next to the shower.

The realtor and my husband and I stood there and contemplated it a long, long time, but we came up with no answers.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:57 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Who the hell's project is this, Mr. Belvedere's?!?

I currently live in or have lived in places that look like almost all of these, and have seen MUCH worse. These aren't bad apartments, they're just what you get when you don't have a lot to spend.
posted by rollbiz at 8:57 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


If you like this and you also like amateur gay porn then you are going to love Lurid Digs!

(NSFW or erections)
posted by munchingzombie at 9:22 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


NSFW

NSFL
posted by cashman at 9:24 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have always wanted to live in an apartment with its own moat.

Nature TRIED to give you one but you were all "oh boo hoo this hurricane is scary!"
posted by elizardbits at 9:27 PM on July 3, 2012


I really shouldn't look at these before bed. Creepy basement apartments are creeping me out.
posted by limeonaire at 9:28 PM on July 3, 2012


Bad     apartment photos.
Bad apartment     photos.
Bad.  Apartment.  Photos.
Bell.        Biv.       DeVoe.
posted by mazola at 9:31 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


I have a red kitchen and reasonably, I think it looks pretty good.

I want to enter into a federally recognized civil union with that kitchen.
posted by elizardbits at 9:33 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]


Can't have cereal without a whole lotta milk-a.

But yeah, Lurid Digs is funny as hell. That's how it's done.
posted by Flashman at 9:45 PM on July 3, 2012


Once a month or so, over on my favorite real estate-related blog Seattle Bubble, there's a Real Actual Listings post featuring terrifying, out-of-focus, totally inappropriate, baffling, or deeply unhelpful listing photos.
posted by skycrashesdown at 10:17 PM on July 3, 2012


It's fascinating to me all the ways I see people demonstrate a complete inability to figure out general principles from a bunch of specific examples of something (that's inductive resoning, I think). […] It's a common problem. Nearly all of my homicidal rages are caused by people failing at inductive (?) reasoning.

As a Popperian, I submit that this is because induction simply does not exist. We have only good and bad conjectures, like "when I post this photo, no one will notice the pile of garbage bags in the living room."
posted by ecmendenhall at 10:33 PM on July 3, 2012


I need to find a picture - must have one somewhere - of an old apartment where I guess the bathroom door had been replaced with the hinges on the inside rather than the outside, so that rather than opening out into the hall, the door opened inward, where it was obstructed by the toilet. Someone had cut an arcing notch in the edge of the door so that it could swing around the edge of the toilet bowl.
posted by univac at 10:56 PM on July 3, 2012


rollbiz: "These aren't bad apartments, they're just what you get when you don't have a lot to spend."

You're misparsing the title. It's not "(bad apartment) photos", it's "bad (apartment photos)". That is, these are bad photos of apartments, not photos of bad apartments.
posted by Bugbread at 11:01 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I want to live in the Lovecraft house.
posted by Lokisbane at 11:14 PM on July 3, 2012


Lovely belly laughs. Thanks. Enjoyed that.
posted by nickyskye at 11:21 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Obligatory Mitchell & Webb bit.
posted by Catch at 12:01 AM on July 4, 2012 [3 favorites]


Okay I have fucking seriously seen this one before, and I am making an educated guess that the ad reads 'fits three full sized hospital beds side by side! Far wall ideal for overhead projector!'.
posted by emmtee at 12:14 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


TBH, Lurid Digs would have been a better post. =o This is amazing. Where the hell did this guy find a 5-foot diameter commemorative white tiger plate to put on his wall? Behind his floral print couch? That he's sitting on wearing a chainmail vest?
posted by kavasa at 12:14 AM on July 4, 2012


Hhahahaaaaa oh my god, pic taken into a mirror which is propped up on a doily and in between two 14" porcelain dolls. What is the logical procession of steps that extends from this picture to sex?
posted by kavasa at 12:18 AM on July 4, 2012


I've lived in a house with slanted ceiling that were pretty severe. The cool part? The slant above the toilet (yes, there) was so low that if you were a man, you could lean your head against the wall while micturating and hold yourself up. Awesome for being drunk.

Also, he mentions a geodesic dome house. My old university (onetime home to Bucky Fuller) had THREE of those houses in that small town (one was Bucky's house). The idea was cool I suppose, but it looked extremely impractical.

http://fullerdomehome.org/media
posted by readyfreddy at 3:52 AM on July 4, 2012


Lurid Digs is so cleverly bitchy I am in awe.
posted by likeso at 4:34 AM on July 4, 2012


Every time I go apartment hunting on Craigslist, I'm fascinated by this phenomenon. Yes, I see that you have a toilet. That's a very nice THREE PHOTOS OF THE TOILET, but do you have any rooms beside that?
posted by specialagentwebb at 8:27 AM on July 4, 2012


... apparently I live in a bad apartment.

This is news to me as I'm still riding the ecstasy of how much better my new apartment is than the last. I guess I just don't consider most of these to be bad at all. I'm wondering if most people who read this site have ever seen the conditions in which a significant number of people (in the US even) live.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 8:43 AM on July 4, 2012


It's not "(bad apartment) photos", it's "bad (apartment photos)". That is, these are bad photos of apartments, not photos of bad apartments.

Oooh. I get it now. Also I apparently don't read closely enough.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 8:47 AM on July 4, 2012


Whoa. Thanks, the young-rope-rider for posting this! I posted it to Projects purely on a whim and never expected an FPP to come out of it.

And yes, in hindsight, I should have chosen a different title.
posted by altopower at 10:06 AM on July 4, 2012


Having just spent three months looking for a flat to buy, I can confidently say that if you go to www.rightmove.co.uk, put in 'london' and 'under £200,000', you'll see many apartments far worse than these.
posted by Summer at 11:18 AM on July 4, 2012


I've been digging through Craigslist and StreetEasy postings in the past few days and I am all too familiar with the bad apartment photo phenomenon.

I keep noticing listings for the same apartment with an awkward layout popping up at multiple addresses in Nolita and the East Village, and I can't tell whether many NYC apartments share this layout or rental brokers are all stealing photos of the same place. It's a 1-bedroom that is essentially a big hallway; in the middle is the living room and the apartment entrance; on one end, through french doors, is the bedroom and the only visible window, on the other end, you have to walk through the kitchen to get to the bathroom. The sink is of the pedestal type. Also, there is a washer/dryer crammed in with everything.
posted by pravit at 5:41 PM on July 4, 2012


> The realtor and my husband and I stood there and contemplated it a long, long time, but we came up with no answers

It's dangerous to carry a mug of hot coffee in the morning before you wake up. This way you make the coffee, put it on the shelf -- I'm picturing a setup sort of like leaving a urine sample -- walk around to the shower, and sip your coffee while your conditioner does does its work.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:47 PM on July 4, 2012


It's not "(bad apartment) photos", it's "bad (apartment photos)". That is, these are bad photos of apartments, not photos of bad apartments.

Thanks, makes much more sense in that context.
posted by rollbiz at 6:46 PM on July 4, 2012


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