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make sure to feed her only sour poffins because thats what she like
August 5, 2012 8:24 PM   Subscribe


 
Thats exactly my point. Your name is just plain lame. theres no creativity. oh he is yellow and he is a duck so i'll call him yellowducky.


Ouch

Well I'm not trading your psyduck back to you. I'd sooner release it to the wild then trade it back

OUCH. Shit's getting real. Damn.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:26 PM on August 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


i too think dudeskull is a rad name
posted by elizardbits at 8:29 PM on August 5, 2012 [9 favorites]


My favorite part was the tangent in the argument about whether the duskull has to be a dude in order for the name to be good.
posted by voltairemodern at 8:32 PM on August 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


This is nothing compared to the raw forum power of FusionFall players:

"hey i went to the darklands and i went in the air ship but in the EGGER store i buy 3 eggs the most expensev one's then got some thing called archwings thay look like robotic wings and i got bloo's angry cape? some thing like that then a lv 33 wepon but did not get the angle preyer wings V_V do i just try agin or some thing?"

"dude can i be ur bud in ff? U seen me right captain brutewarrior. I was in forsaken valley and I said did U get a nano mission. and U said no I completed all the missions. SO I might know U"

"also if u wanna friend Captain Zerocrazy, Sir Sugarbot, and Nina Argostabyss u can go on my Comments and go thru some of the pages of Comments i have and Ninas Youtube name is Marvin569 and Zerocrazys is Shadowmario168, and Sir Sugarbots one is Fusionfallfan"

"ROFL AT PETER CLIMBING IN CHRIS BED XD"
posted by Brocktoon at 8:32 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Pretty sure we got the best post contest wrapped up right here
posted by churl at 8:32 PM on August 5, 2012 [29 favorites]


Not for a female Pokemon.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:32 PM on August 5, 2012


He probably got the idea of this from the in-game trades, which offer you such gems as a Haunter named Paul (that doesn't evolve when traded because that NPC is a total troll and attaches an everstone to it) and a Dudrio named Doris (for a DRAGONAIR, a vastly more powerful Pokemon).
posted by melissam at 8:34 PM on August 5, 2012


haha i am like so much smarter than anyone in that thread
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 8:34 PM on August 5, 2012


[spoiler warning]

What do you mean that you hope I dont read these forums? It was ME WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THESE FORUMS



GASP
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:35 PM on August 5, 2012 [13 favorites]


I am pretty sure those people were too smart to be that dumb? Like, I think I just observed a performance.
posted by Nomiconic at 8:35 PM on August 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


Myself I think "yellowducky" "greenturty" and "bluebatty" are awesome names. Particularly "bluebatty" for Zubat, I might steal that next time I pull out my game boy pocket.
posted by vogon_poet at 8:36 PM on August 5, 2012


LE GASP DRAMATIQUE
posted by elizardbits at 8:36 PM on August 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


elizardbits: "i too think dudeskull is a rad name"

elizardbit you are not even a real pokemon

get out of here elizardbits who do you think you are
posted by boo_radley at 8:36 PM on August 5, 2012 [16 favorites]


@nomiconic

is it a irony you think

i have heard of those
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 8:36 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


[spoiler warning]


THE DUSKULL IS NOT A "DUDE" IT IS A FEMALE POKEMON!!! IT IS NOT A MALE POKEMON SO IT ISNT A DUDE

wow, a little gender essentialist there. This post really has a lot of complex stuff going on. Thanks, Greg Nog.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:39 PM on August 5, 2012 [10 favorites]


But I WILL release it if you dont trade me my psyduck back, MARK MY WORDS

Shit just got real.
posted by winna at 8:45 PM on August 5, 2012


i too think dudeskull is a rad name

Oh I think I know who you are. You're Sean who sits to the left of us in the chemistry class right.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:45 PM on August 5, 2012 [8 favorites]


(previously)
posted by Greg Nog at 8:46 PM on August 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


Or maybe I'll feed her just DRY POFFINS which she DISLIKES

I don't feel like this person should have custody of dudeskull. I'm a little worried about dudeskull, TBH
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:47 PM on August 5, 2012 [25 favorites]


I love dudeskull. No reason a lady can't dude it up, especially if she is some sort of awesome skull-type pokemon. I know nothing about pokemon, but I respect a person/duskull that knows what snacks they like and which snacks they dislike.

On the other hand, this is clearly a performance, as stated above, although some of the commenters are acting in good faith (how to catch Ratz advice). Pokepizza and Ethan are having some fun though. I would have argued about M:TG cards like this... oh...16 years ago, and even then realized it was part of the meta-game to have these ridiculous arguments.
posted by kittensofthenight at 8:48 PM on August 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


Enough is enough.

I dont want to see any more of this fighting on the forums.

Pokepizza and Ethan: I've issued you both a warning.

Thread closed.


If you two don't stop RIGHT NOW I am turning this forum around and we are GOING HOME!
posted by codacorolla at 8:49 PM on August 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Man, with this and the wankdom posts I clicked through to this morning from the Fifty Shades of Grey thread I have laughed at way more than my fair share of internet idiocy today.

brb, getting the popcorn.
posted by spitefulcrow at 8:58 PM on August 5, 2012


So, wait, should I be laughing at their investment in their fictional game or my investment in their fictional argument? I am honestly unsure.
posted by Nomiconic at 9:05 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


i like dry poffins
posted by elizardbits at 9:05 PM on August 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Somewhere, an Eve Online player is looking at this and shaking his head. He, in turn, is being monitored by an NSA algorithm that is also shaking its head, for marginally more meta reasons.
posted by mhoye at 9:09 PM on August 5, 2012 [20 favorites]


@Nomiconic

no clue bro all this meta stuff is way over my head

best post ever imho we can shut down metafilter now
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 9:10 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah. Another irony. I am getting good at spotting them.
posted by Nomiconic at 9:11 PM on August 5, 2012


I can't believe I read the whole thing.
posted by chemoboy at 9:13 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am glad at least that now I will not be the only person shamefacedly perusing the bulbapedia at 1am on a sunday night.
posted by elizardbits at 9:22 PM on August 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


C'mon, people, this thread was from June 2009. Everything's different on the Internet now.
posted by TheWash at 9:24 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


@Nomic

youll be as rad as the pizza pokemon man in no time

do PM me though won't you, as this exhibit has given the most exquisite idea, an interchange between two gentlemen in regards to the presence of Dilbert's "Dilbert" in the universe portrayed in the "Shrek" series of films by Pixar. it promises to be a truly violent act of detournement and our troupe can always use more players
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 9:25 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am glad at least that now I will not be the only person shamefacedly perusing the bulbapedia at 1am on a sunday night.


Pokemon give good advice
posted by melissam at 9:29 PM on August 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


Well, that escalated quickly.
posted by cmoj at 9:35 PM on August 5, 2012


I know those feels.
posted by boo_radley at 9:53 PM on August 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


No reason a lady can't dude it up, especially if she is some sort of awesome skull-type pokemon.

Plus maybe Dudeskull is so called because she collects the skulls of vanquished dudes. Who knows!
posted by kenko at 10:16 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think youre both overreacting its just a pokemons name no need to fight so much over it

YOU ARE ONLY MAKING ME MORE ANGRY
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:26 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am pretty sure those people were too smart to be that dumb? Like, I think I just observed a performance.

When I was 13 I joined a forum because I wanted to make an RPG and had no graphic design or songwriting or really any skills worth mentioning, except that I figured I could make my RPG sound epic and awesome and sucker some people into making it for me. This RPG was nominally the brainchild of a friend of mine, Evan, only Evan had no creativity and my revised story/gameplay concept would be awesome so I was doing him a favor.

Of course, Evan finds out and starts posting in my fucking forum thread, saying the project is closed and he is the true creator and anybody who wants their job back can message him to fill vacant positions, shitty little capitalist swine. Only Evan sucks at writing so I figure I can draw him to a stalemate simply by taking the high road and convincing people that I'm the guy they should be listening to.

Meanwhile, this turd of a human fetuschild named Patrick, who goes to my school and is basically like me only uglier and dumber and more annoying, joins the forum and starts amassing a team to make HIS game, which is entirely a rip-off of my and Evan's game. So I do what any honorable 13-year-old does and skip two classes to write an epic, multi-page flame of him that will reduce him to a shell and remind him that there's a pecking order, motherfecker, and he will always be beneath me. Patrick can barely string together five words at a time, which is frustrating because clearly his responses take far less time to pump out than my meticulous ones, and I am foreseeing missing a whole lot of classes in keeping this ruffian in his place.

The moral of the story is the Internet is full of the dumbest people you will ever meet, including me and everybody I've ever known. This story is wholly believable. Maybe Mr. Dudeskull was trolling his enraged friend, but I have no trouble believing that combination of rage, empty threats, and occasionally desperate attempts at reconciliation.
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:31 PM on August 5, 2012 [21 favorites]


Try going to route 209 at night

I wish I could start the equivalent of an indignant MeTa about giving out harmful advice. Guy! Please, please ignore what others have posted in that thread and consult your local Gym Leader.

Also, consider catching a Psychic type Pokèmon like Alakazam, and then asking it to give you therapy.
posted by ignignokt at 10:35 PM on August 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


Or maybe I'll feed her just DRY POFFINS which she DISLIKES

Oh God, that's an amazing line.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:48 PM on August 5, 2012 [7 favorites]


Any time I get into any argument of any kind on any topic, I simply end it by saying, "I wont feed her any poffins I want my Psyduck back I dont want a female pokemon named dudeskull!!!". This is known in debate circles as The Poffin Gambit.
posted by moneyjane at 11:03 PM on August 5, 2012 [12 favorites]


More Pokemon troubles, of a completely different sort.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 11:09 PM on August 5, 2012


Conspicuously absent from their posting guidelines: "Note: Help maintain a healthy, respectful discussion by focusing comments on the issues, topics, and facts at hand—not at other members of the site."
posted by blue_beetle at 11:12 PM on August 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


why wony my pokemon eat more poffins for pokemon contest
I guess that DRY POFFIN feeding didn't work out too well. It will never again eat more poffins.
posted by unliteral at 11:21 PM on August 5, 2012


You can be female and still be a dude.


And definitely a DUDESKULL, because that is clearly awesome.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:22 AM on August 6, 2012


also i looked it up and this is what Bulbapedia had to say about duskulls:

Gender differences
None.




But I am unfamiliar with the intricacies of sexing Pokemons.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:28 AM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Clearly the real victim here is Dudeskull. Doomed to dry poffins and abandonment because of her name.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:33 AM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Help maintain a healthy, respectful discussion by focusing comments on the issues, topics, and facts at hand—not at other members of the site.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:12 PM on August 5 [+] [!]


yeah real imaginative heracross you cant even evolve
posted by obiwanwasabi at 2:46 AM on August 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


"I'm not Mr. Yellowducky -- you're Mr. Yellowducky. I'm the Dudeskull."
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 3:01 AM on August 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


The Dudeskull abides...
posted by jenkinsEar at 3:15 AM on August 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


haha best post ever, made me laugh so hard

must show this to all my friends now lol
posted by aussiekib at 4:02 AM on August 6, 2012


I'm not sure worrying about poor feeding of Pokémon is the most important issue here. I mean, your average Pokémon gets beaten up, stuffed in a ball, and forced into a cruel life of gladiatorial combat and enslaving its fellows.

Heck, due to over-capturing, Squirtles have become virtually extinct in the wild.

Being fed dry poffins is a first world poképroblem if I ever heard one.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:34 AM on August 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Duskull's Pokédex entry:
It loves the crying of children. It startles bad kids by passing through walls and making them cry.
So don't worry about Dudeskull. She's reading that forum with a big bag of popcorn and snickering.

Yellowducky, however, is prone to migraines, and may need to be placed in the Day Care Lady's custody.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:44 AM on August 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


Anyone else get the feeling that Mamet is just phoning in his dialogue now?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:06 AM on August 6, 2012 [13 favorites]


Caveat: I am not the best Pokémon caretaker. I'm currently playing Pokémon Black, and there are some nightmarish-looking critters native to the Unova region, so quite a few of my captured Pokémon have nicknames like FREAKSHOW or THE FUCK?? or simply GAAAAAHH.

Then I read about how these hideous monsters cry when they look at themselves and it just about broke my heart, so I changed my Yamask's nickname from DEAR GOD NO to HOTTNESS and gave it a CD single of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" as a held item.
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:13 AM on August 6, 2012 [32 favorites]


From Metroid Baby's link:

"Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry."

That is dark, man.
posted by biscotti at 5:30 AM on August 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


"Each of them carries a mask that used to be its face when it was human. Sometimes they look at it and cry."

That is dark, man.


That is not dark, that is justice. I am pretty sure they are made out of Poké"trainers" who were creeps and gave their Pokémon crap to eat back before the containment failed and their captured pets victims devoured their erstwhile masters.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:37 AM on August 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Have fun playing with Dudeskull.

Oh SNAP! Attention burn unit: INCOMING!

(This is seriously one of the funniest things I have ever read)
posted by biscotti at 5:40 AM on August 6, 2012


It just keeps going and going. It's — dare I say it out loud? — Squirtles all the way down.





I apologize for nothing.
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:11 AM on August 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


This is almost point for point a conversation I witnessed between two friends a few months ago.

One of them was thirteen years old and the other one was six.
posted by padraigin at 7:43 AM on August 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


I played Pokemon Blue back in the day. I always wanted to get back in Pokemon, but I refuse to buy multiple versions of a game just because they make some Pokemon version exclusive. I want to catch them ALL, dammit!!!
posted by Pendragon at 7:59 AM on August 6, 2012


Pendragon- the new games have online trading systems so you can trade for the pokemon that aren't available in your game without having to buy both versions. The interface kinda sucks in a way that makes it hard to avoid the trolls requesting trades that aren't actually possible but if you're persistent you can eventually find what you want (although it will probably have a stupid nickname).
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 8:09 AM on August 6, 2012


The Pokémon series is surprisingly dark at times. The ending to Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky is one of the saddest video game endings I've ever seen, ever ever. No lie.

Yes, I am in my thirties and cry at a game that says "basic reading ability is needed to fully enjoy this game" on the box.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:16 AM on August 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Metroid Baby, did you let the credits roll all the way through?

There is a post-credit scene that, well, I don't want to spoil it for you but, if you haven't seen it yet you may want to boot your DS up again.
posted by Poppa Bear at 8:28 AM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


GenjiandProust: I mean, your average Pokémon gets beaten up, stuffed in a ball, and forced into a cruel life of gladiatorial combat and enslaving its fellows.

Yet more liberal moralizing bullshit. I put a Pokemon in the chamber and I pull the fucking trigger. BLAM!
posted by gilrain at 8:32 AM on August 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


The Pokémon series is surprisingly dark at times.

Yeah. A large part of the Black/White plot is devoted to existential questions about whether trainers even have the right to capture and train Pokemon or if doing so is a horrible affront to Poke-agency.
posted by yellowbinder at 8:47 AM on August 6, 2012


It's true, Poppa Bear, it does get better. But there's still a LOT of sadness to get through. I will never leave you again Squirtle I am so sorry
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:55 AM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Pokemon's always had a dark side. Cubone wears the skull of its dead mother as a helmet and cries so much when he thinks of her that his helmet skull is stained with tears.
posted by Blue Meanie at 9:53 AM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


You have to read to the end, where the two guys KISS and renounce Pokemons 4EVER. SRSLY, you guys. I nearly cried.
posted by clvrmnky at 10:06 AM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


He probably got the idea of this from the in-game trades, which offer you such gems as a Haunter named Paul

Well here's another clue for you all
the Haunter was Paul
posted by chaff at 11:24 AM on August 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


If you name your duskull "Maskull" it may eventually become a Surtur.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 11:45 AM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: The moral of the story is the Internet is full of the dumbest people you will ever meet, including me and everybody I've ever known
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:36 PM on August 6, 2012 [6 favorites]


[spoiler warning]


Best part is where the kid decides starving the pokemon is not enough and instead threatens to torture the poor thing by feeding it food it hates

[end spoiler]
posted by aussiekib at 1:34 PM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


But I am unfamiliar with the intricacies of sexing Pokemons.

Buy 'em a drink first.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:36 PM on August 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


This is just the worst-slash-best-slash-worst thread in MetaFilter history
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:58 PM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Buy 'em a drink first.

But what kind of drink? That is the question. Apparently, they differ in the number of HP restored.

Bonus: More than you likely wanted to know about poffins.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:01 PM on August 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


how do you get twenty pikachus on a bus

poke 'em on
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:10 PM on August 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


i have lost control of my life
posted by poffin boffin at 6:40 PM on August 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


I want to feed this thread sour poffins
posted by en forme de poire at 12:26 AM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


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