Brave new world.
August 19, 2012 6:37 AM   Subscribe

Kitten vs. two scary things. Please have your system sound on.
posted by vers (44 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Man, I love me some paranoid Russian kittens, but this is a double several times over. -- restless_nomad



 
I think that is actually two apples vs. one scary thing! Fearsome kitteh!
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:50 AM on August 19, 2012 [7 favorites]


Oh god folded ears pulled back into angry flat top most adorable thing ever
posted by The Whelk at 6:51 AM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Don't let that excitable kitty find the stones....
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 7:05 AM on August 19, 2012


two things. (1) i don't like apples much myself so i get the reaction. possibly the world's most boring fruit. (2) i've never seen a floppy-eared kitteh or cat in person, but they pop up on youtube and i feel there's an unfair concentration of these vids posted under russian handles. am i imagining this? also how do you guarantee that your kitteh ends up with floppy ears? genetic? luck of the draw? do they grow out of it in adulthood? is there some sort of rescue that specializes in them?
posted by twist my arm at 7:07 AM on August 19, 2012


Scottish folds have a mutation which causes the lop ear look, it's a pretty recent breed that has become very popular recently. I know this cause I briefly made the acquaintance of the most famous Scottish fold on the Internet back in 05.
posted by The Whelk at 7:10 AM on August 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


I can see the utility of putting what appears to be an area rug on the bed, but if I was at someone's house and I saw that, I think I'd have to leave. I'm not sure why.
posted by cmoj at 7:13 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


. . . I know this cause I briefly made the acquaintance of the most famous Scottish fold on the Internet back in 05.

Ray Smuckles?
posted by Countess Elena at 7:14 AM on August 19, 2012 [9 favorites]


Home base! Home base! Enemy completely impervious to high intensity pouncing!

Game over, man!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:14 AM on August 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


so that's why they also seem to be paired with that round face. i want to squish so hard.

is this wikipedia picture the most famous scottish fold? googling also brings up maru. did you meet maru?!
posted by twist my arm at 7:15 AM on August 19, 2012


Another entertaining clip involving a chameleon from the same uploader.
posted by XMLicious at 7:15 AM on August 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


THE HORROR......the horror....
posted by briank at 7:18 AM on August 19, 2012


Countess Elena, Ray's an American Curl. The Whelk must be talking about Maru, in which case I am jealous.
posted by aparrish at 7:19 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


The synchronization of the music with the action is pretty awesome. This was not your everyday, lazy-ass cuteness - this cuteness was work.
posted by Mooski at 7:19 AM on August 19, 2012 [6 favorites]


@GenjiandProust The apples are inside the perimeter?
posted by Zarkonnen at 7:20 AM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


( oh it looks like it was 07 , and most famous fold in 07 was Katamari )
posted by The Whelk at 7:22 AM on August 19, 2012


I like videos about apples because apples are SO CUTE!!!!
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:23 AM on August 19, 2012


How do you even come to the discovery that two granny smith apples in the middle of the bed cause the kitteh to FREAK OUT?
posted by royalsong at 7:23 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Someone should write an app which takes a video, lets you draw a graph of how intense the video is, then generates this sort of horror music. Add spcifically timed orchestra hits to get even more advanced.
posted by lucidium at 7:24 AM on August 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


Someone should write an app which takes a video,...

For this kind of thing, where there are kittens involved and so on, your really want an applet.
posted by twoleftfeet at 7:27 AM on August 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


What the hell do they feed kittens in Russia?
posted by crunchland at 7:29 AM on August 19, 2012


Not apples apparently.
posted by The Whelk at 7:30 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


well this sucks:

Osteochondrodysplasia(OCD) is a developmental abnormality that affects cartilage and bone development throughout the body. This condition causes the fold in the breed and all folded cats are affected by it. Homozygous folds are affected by malformed bone structures and develop severe painful degenerative joint diseases at an early age. This condition also affect heterogyzous folds, but usually to a much lesser extent and at a later age. Some will be asymptomatic.

While ethical breeders breed Fold/non-fold and not Fold/Fold (in the same way Munchkins are bred) to avoid producing homozygous folds, because heterozygous folds can also develop progressive arthritis of varying severity, some researchers recommend abandoning the breeding of folded cats entirely. For this reason the breed is not accepted by either the Governing Council of the Cat Fancy or the Fédération Internationale Féline.

CFA breeders have stated that using only fold to non-fold breeding has eliminated problems with stiff tails, shortend tails and bone lesions. In the FIFe discussion, the representative for British breeders claimed that they were not seeing the problem in their cats and that the study which showed that all heterozygous also have the condition had a small sample size. An offer of free X-rays was presented to 300 breeders to find a folded cat with healthy hind legs but it was never taken up. A similar offer was set up by the World Cat Federation together with researcher Leslie Lyons but there was too no response. FiFe stated that they will not consider recognizing Scottish Folds if breeders will not allow their breed to be scrutinized.

posted by twist my arm at 7:32 AM on August 19, 2012 [7 favorites]


The scoring on that was fantastic.

Also, that is very sad about the folds and the associated health conditions.
posted by notashroom at 7:50 AM on August 19, 2012


yeah i didn't want this to not be a fun thread by any means, but it's good to know that somewhere, my love is maiming or killing something. something impossibly adorable.

related
posted by twist my arm at 7:53 AM on August 19, 2012


omigodomigodomiGODOMIGODTHEY'REGONNAKILLMEOHSHI-- hey my ear itches, better... ahh... there we--OHFUCKTHEY'REGONNAKILLME
posted by Evilspork at 8:21 AM on August 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


Did you see how the kitty occasionally glances at the mirror? There's one point near the end where it's like "what is this OTHER enemy now" when it sees itself.
posted by angrycat at 8:31 AM on August 19, 2012


I used to exhibit the same behavior as a child with sprouted onions. Those things are quite terrifying. Glad I never encountered two at the same time I wouldn't be here typing this.
posted by PapaLobo at 8:50 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Someone should write an app which takes a video, lets you draw a graph of how intense the video is, then generates this sort of horror music. Add spcifically timed orchestra hits to get even more advanced.

This is actually very similar to Epic Cat Fight where a soundtrack was re-arranged to fit the scene. (also from Russia by the way). He showed a little behind the scenes on how it was done.
posted by samsara at 8:52 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


"The phone call is coming from inside your house!"
posted by anothermug at 8:59 AM on August 19, 2012


Damn you apple Kropotkin, we meet again.
posted by arcticseal at 9:14 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


This one made me laugh out loud. By the same poster Ignoramusky.
posted by Mojojojo at 9:35 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kittens. Madder than Mad Jack McMad, winner of the all-England "Mr. Mad" competition.

(Apologies to "Blackadder")
posted by Decani at 9:39 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm just wondering about the title. which refers to "ДВУХ ... хреней". Not "яблоко", which is apple, but "хрен", which seems to be a Russian equivalent for "what-the-fucks", but literally means "horseradish". I'd freak out over two large round green horseradishes too.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:51 AM on August 19, 2012


Pussy Riot, indeed.
posted by bicyclefish at 10:08 AM on August 19, 2012 [6 favorites]


Y'know, for old me, who was brought up during the Cold War, knowing the Impossibly Scary Russkies are also connoisseurs of amusing kitten videos somehow makes everything alright.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:12 AM on August 19, 2012 [7 favorites]


This cat is cleary not a vegetarian.
posted by WalkingAround at 10:35 AM on August 19, 2012


Double

Triple

Quadruple-ish
posted by Sys Rq at 10:44 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


"ДВУХ ... хреней". Not "яблоко"

Maybe it's transliteration of 'granny (smith)'?
posted by TheRedArmy at 10:53 AM on August 19, 2012


I am saddened by what fame has done to Maru. Eerily reminiscent of Farley's "Fat Guy in a Little Coat", he was compelled to clamber in and out of countless boxes trapped by the public's insatiable need, and his own need for the public's love. By time he released "Many too small boxes and Maru" he had already become a parody of himself. With the release of "Box and Maru 12" he was simply going through the motions.Maru is only a shell, a husk, of his former self. Nothing exists for him but endless too small boxes.
posted by Ad hominem at 11:01 AM on August 19, 2012 [9 favorites]


Pike
posted by Outlawyr at 11:19 AM on August 19, 2012


Needs more dolly zoom.
posted by ssmug at 11:30 AM on August 19, 2012


The Russians are leagues ahead of us in cat videos. We must advance, improve our cats, our feline filmography, record more hours of footage, edit, edit, score, put all our effort into this one great project. The Cat Gap must be closed!
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:39 AM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


These videos, taken in combination, are like the best sound engineer job application for any movie I would ever make.
posted by misha at 11:47 AM on August 19, 2012


Nothing exists for him but endless too small boxes.

Indeed. There is no box too small for Maru. When they truly find the Higgs Boson, they will find that Maru has already climbed inside. Indeed, Maru is full of endless recursive Maru, eternally finding smaller and smaller spaces to climb into.

I know, mind blown, right?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:32 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


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