"...and breast cancer pink!"

August 23, 2012 3:54 PM

Pizzapartment. (SLYT)
posted by beaucoupkevin (38 comments total)

I had trouble telling whether this is a joke or not. The product isn't that ridiculous (I mean, last year my mother-in-law gave us hamburger-shaped tupperware to freeze individual hamburger patties. This would be way more useful than that), and the commercial isn't either, but it's just ridiculous enough that it could be. It's like the uncanny valley of infomercial products.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:01 PM on August 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

I can actually use this product. Sadly when I call the 1800number its just a recording of a pizza having sex. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:02 PM on August 23, 2012

1-800, PA. Not 900.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 4:03 PM on August 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

I actually want to buy this. I think many of you would too. I should create a kickstarter tonight.
posted by Brian Puccio at 4:27 PM on August 23, 2012

This assumes that you are not compelled to devour the entire pizza every time you order one.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:30 PM on August 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

You know, I know this is supposed to be sort of a ha ha ridiculous thing, but damn if this won't be a perfect companion for my Presto® Pizzazz® rotary countertop pizza oven, which I use almost daily (and for things other than frozen pizzas, like quesadillas and homemade foccacia, too). I'm mortified to catch myself doing it, but sometimes I pimp that crazy pizza hairdryer like a Mom telling her grown daughter about a Massengill disposable douche. With the Pizzapartment, I could compulsively eat just half a pizza, and compulsively eat the other half later, when I wake up alone and frustrated at 3AM.
posted by sonascope at 4:31 PM on August 23, 2012 [6 favorites]

*Not for sale in states where pizza is cut into squares.
posted by orme at 4:33 PM on August 23, 2012

I was skeptical until I saw the color choices.
posted by hypersloth at 4:34 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

First of all, it should be pineapple, not lemon. Duh.

Second: If you find yourself putting leftover pizza in the fridge often enough to warrant the purchase of a special apparatus, maybe you should consider simply rearranging the shelves in your fridge to accommodate a pizza box.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:40 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

(Or, you know, cut the box with scissors or something.)
posted by Sys Rq at 4:43 PM on August 23, 2012

She microwaved the pizza. SHE MICROWAVED THE PIZZA! You know what you get when you do that? Mush covered leather. Or leathery mush. I'll eat ice cold pizza before I nuke it.
posted by Splunge at 4:47 PM on August 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

"Breast cancer pink." Did they have to phrase it exactly that way?
posted by scratch at 4:52 PM on August 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

(Or, you know, cut the box with scissors or something.)

Attention, Citizen!
You have shown dangerous DIY tendencies!
All problems must be solved with purchasing power!
Put down your scissors and step away from that tool chest!
Reassurance Agents will be by shortly to calm your disordered thoughts!
Compliance is Good Citizenship!
Good Citizenship is Life!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:03 PM on August 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

But I bought these scissors! They were expensive!
posted by Sys Rq at 5:05 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

BUY SMALLER PIZZAS!
posted by islander at 5:21 PM on August 23, 2012

(OMG they would fit perfectly in that Pizzapartment!)
posted by Sys Rq at 5:21 PM on August 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

(Scissors, I mean.)
posted by Sys Rq at 5:24 PM on August 23, 2012

Remember when Pizzapartment was called tupperware? Pepperidge farms remembers.
posted by vozworth at 5:48 PM on August 23, 2012 [9 favorites]

I was on the fence about whether this was fake or not, but the bad acting is what finally convinced me it wasn't a joke. Comedians would have been better actors, or would've overplayed the badness; it's hard to fake being this genuinely bad.

And as it turns out, it's real. They forgot to register the pizzapartment.com domain mentioned in the ad -- it's still available! Go! -- but "Kitchen Directions Group" exists and they really are trying to sell this.
posted by ook at 5:56 PM on August 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Or else I've just fallen down the rabbit hole of the latest kitchenware-based ARG.
posted by ook at 5:57 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Not compatible with Chicago-style deep dish "pizza."
posted by bondcliff at 6:04 PM on August 23, 2012

"Transparent" is not a color.
posted by Zerowensboring at 6:18 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

In the setup shot where she is struggling with the box they forgot to cut to a shot of an exasperated face blowing bangs out of her eyes in frustration. Bonus points for streaks of flour on her face.
posted by sourwookie at 6:23 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

I could imagine buying this, this looks excellent.
posted by PinkMoose at 6:25 PM on August 23, 2012

Oh man, someone please create a kitchenware-based ARG. I will buy a banana slicer and make you ice if you do.
posted by maryr at 6:37 PM on August 23, 2012

The rare good youtube comment:

Wow! This is awesome. I went searching for Pete's Apartment and came across this, and boy was I glad. Pete is such a douche but this rocks my f'ing socks off! I got it in breast cancer pink and was not disappointed (wink wink). I give this 2 slices up! Dawg.
posted by Buckt at 7:02 PM on August 23, 2012

And as it turns out, it's real. They forgot to register the pizzapartment.com domain mentioned in the ad -- it's still available! Go! -- but "Kitchen Directions Group" exists and they really are trying to sell this.

I just bought this. God help me... now what should I do with it?
posted by shotintoeternity at 7:11 PM on August 23, 2012 [4 favorites]

The girl giving it as a present to the other girl was what I loved the most. I just picture them the last two humans on an apocalypse-ruined earth in the last house standing, acting out the saddest birthday party ever night, after night.
posted by lumpenprole at 7:14 PM on August 23, 2012 [8 favorites]

Order less pizza?
posted by lkc at 7:23 PM on August 23, 2012

The girl giving it as a present to the other girl was what I loved the most. I just picture them the last two humans on an apocalypse-ruined earth in the last house standing, acting out the saddest birthday party ever night, after night.

That was my favorite part -- the fact that you could see it was rectangular even in the wrapping...and the fact they were wearing sundresses...WTF

I love this thing and I love you for posting this.
posted by sweetkid at 7:41 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Didn't Billy Wilder do something like this years ago?
posted by DaddyNewt at 8:42 PM on August 23, 2012

I was kind of holding my breath waiting for an pansexual pink spokesthing to say "take it from me, I love you!" at the end.

(The wrapped pizzapartment was also my favorite part... ment.)
posted by en forme de poire at 9:10 PM on August 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

the fact that you could see it was rectangular even in the wrapping..

oop I meant triangular
posted by sweetkid at 9:16 PM on August 23, 2012

Metafilter: when I wake up alone and frustrated at 3AM.
posted by The otter lady at 9:24 PM on August 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

I just bought this. God help me... now what should I do with it?

Are you joking? The link to that website is here.
posted by Malice at 11:55 PM on August 23, 2012

I couldn't stop paying attention to how terrible the sound was. It makes me want to show up on the director's doorstep, scowling and holding a Marantz.
posted by Sticherbeast at 2:45 AM on August 24, 2012

I'm holding out for Burritominium.
posted by neroli at 6:15 AM on August 24, 2012 [2 favorites]

Man, they are building those EVERYWHERE in Davis Square.
posted by maryr at 1:26 PM on August 24, 2012 [3 favorites]