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August 31, 2012 3:31 AM   Subscribe

Pier 1 hasn't come to my country yet, but with fine and funky service like this, let's hope it does soon!
posted by mippy (42 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
"You know what I'm talking about"

"Let's engage the customer, Let's make a sale."

I recently watched Glen Gary Glenn Ross, the two takes on sales are spectacular in their dissonance and juxtaposition.
posted by sourbrew at 3:36 AM on August 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


It probably would've been less awkward if they'd just filmed themselves giving each other head.
posted by item at 3:40 AM on August 31, 2012 [7 favorites]


This is almost as bad as that Hillary Clinton campaign song going around back around this time four years ago. Hunting around for that, can't find it.
posted by zardoz at 3:57 AM on August 31, 2012


It's like the recent past is this place where people are never cool, and for some reason they're always rapping... terribly.
posted by splatta at 4:04 AM on August 31, 2012 [3 favorites]


Kudos to whomever made that video, it seems just about perfect for Pier One.

Might I suggest this arapaho?
posted by dubold at 4:04 AM on August 31, 2012


I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP RAPPING
posted by dubold at 4:09 AM on August 31, 2012 [4 favorites]


The key to the sale is to make a connection. Why not start with a humorous question?

Somehow this video's use of rap in relation to home furnishings reminded me of this
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:15 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


The shit is dope because the Pier 1 corporation is owned by Slick Rick. He also owns Wendy's.
posted by orme at 4:22 AM on August 31, 2012


I did like it more when I saw the credits at the end. I would think it was kinda awesome if I had to watch a video like this and saw my coworkers were the ones acting cheesy. Not using actors makes it more silly than ridiculous.
posted by Houstonian at 4:25 AM on August 31, 2012


I think it's tremendously unfair that they made the one guy both rap and be the hype man.
posted by Shepherd at 4:27 AM on August 31, 2012 [6 favorites]


Are you sure this wasn't produced by Up With People?
posted by chillmost at 4:44 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


I recently watched Glen Gary Glenn Ross, the two takes on sales are spectacular in their dissonance and juxtaposition.

Happy Up with People Dude: "You got customers. Pier 1 paid good money. Open stores to sell to them. You can't close the customers you're given, you can't close shit, *you are* shit, hit the bricks pal, and beat it, 'cause you are going *out*. "

Pier 1 employee: "The customers are weak. The accent pieces aren't exciting."

Up with People Dude: "The customers are weak? The fucking accent pieces aren't exciting? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years..."

Another Pier 1 employee: "What's your name? Ever try to sell home decor?"

Up with People Dude: "Fuck you. That's my name."

[Both Pier 1 employees laugh]

Up with People Dude: You know why, mister? 'Cause you're sniffing reed diffusers and scented soap all day and I drive around an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name.

[Both Pier 1 employees look at ground, shuffle feet.]
posted by three blind mice at 5:02 AM on August 31, 2012 [5 favorites]


You know what you need to make it in this business?

Teak balls.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:08 AM on August 31, 2012 [12 favorites]


Pier 1 was once part of Tandy Corp. Which explains something... I'm not sure what.
posted by punkfloyd at 5:08 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Can you help out the Brit with an explanation of what Pier 1 is, exactly? No, not a link to Wikipedia. I know it sells furniture and twigs and pebbly shit. Who shops there? Does it pretend to be hand-crafted by sweatshop artisans, or is it more of a next-stage-up-from-Ikea deal?

We used to have The Pier in the UK, which I believe was of no relation, but it was the kind of place rich bohos would buy their furniture from. Sort of the homeware version of Monsoon or a more expensive Indiska, if you're Scandinavian. (I would go there all the time if I lived in Sweden to buy neon Buddhas or something.) I used to buy my mum candles from there at Christmas, so I was sad when the recession meant that nobody wanted to buy £495 towel cupboards anymore.
posted by mippy at 5:18 AM on August 31, 2012


I think people just buy there out of pier pressure.
posted by MartinWisse at 5:20 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Pier 1 is where bourgeois suburban lesbians shop for wicker furniture.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:21 AM on August 31, 2012


mippy, Pier 1 has been around since the late '80s (I believe), and from my recollections of a boyhood in Ontario, it was the first large-scale “import furniture and knick-knacks from developing nations" chain around.

I haven't set foot in one in probably 15 years, but the original concept was less-expensive goods with a funky foreign feel, introduced long before Free Trade was a concept in the public mind. I have a feeling it's been genericized quite a lot since then, and free trade, knowledge of working conditions overseas, and actual benefit-the-craftspeople stores like Ten Thousand Villages have driven it more into a more banal "wickery home decor, throw pillows and scented candles" space.
posted by Shepherd at 5:34 AM on August 31, 2012 [1 favorite]


Does it pretend to be hand-crafted by sweatshop artisans

It's sort of that but one or two steps removed from actual pretense. Based on the true story of handcrafting. Inspired by real-life handcrafting events.

In all honesty their stuff isn't bad. Real wood, not particleboard. Too many throw pillows and decorative candles. Aesthetic is mostly asian-lite, lots of wicker and dark wood. We've got an ottoman or two from there that I'm pretty happy with. It's great for ottomans. Ottomen?
posted by ook at 5:35 AM on August 31, 2012 [2 favorites]


Just about as good as Kitty Pryde.
posted by cashman at 5:37 AM on August 31, 2012


In all honesty their stuff isn't bad. Real wood, not particleboard.

Maybe they've changed since the last time I was in there (mid-90s) but I have to disagree with this. Dishes I wouldn't eat off of for fear of lead poisoning, table lamps that didn't even stand up straight when put together by Pier 1 employees, furniture that looks neat from afar but when you get close you can see where it's been artificially aged and glued together.
posted by DU at 5:40 AM on August 31, 2012


All rap songs should be required to have "LETS CONNECT W THE CUSTOMER/LETS MAKE A SALE//" as the chorus.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:54 AM on August 31, 2012


Every time I hear or see the words "Pier 1" I'm reminded of this lovely movie.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:58 AM on August 31, 2012


My first wife, who is sort of a hippie, but also absolutely knows the best places to shop, LOVES Pier 1. Or at least she did when we were married, I haven't asked her about it in this millenium.
posted by ubiquity at 6:02 AM on August 31, 2012


Mippy - the Pier was owned by Pier 1 imports, but was sold by them before its closure.
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:23 AM on August 31, 2012


This: Pier 1 has been around since the late '80s (I believe) is disproved by this comment: Every time I hear or see the words "Pier 1" I'm reminded of this lovely movie

Which is all well and good, as we can't all be experts on mall-based pseudo-ethnic furniture/bric a brac/tiki torch supply stores. Lord knows I just dabble.
posted by item at 6:25 AM on August 31, 2012


What's the name of the place that is 'colonial' and expensive - something like Crate And Barrel?

'Pier 1' reminds me of 'Jeans West', where Hank Hill used to work. But then that's because I'm watching a lot of King of the Hill lately.
posted by mippy at 6:52 AM on August 31, 2012


1. needs some YEAAAAAA BOOOYYYYYYY
2. needs some ride the pony moves
posted by stormpooper at 7:04 AM on August 31, 2012


Mippy, Bombay Company? They used to have actual stores but now it looks like they sell through other retailers.
posted by emkelley at 7:19 AM on August 31, 2012


God, my mom tight Pier 1 was like the height of early 90s chic and would save up so we coud get yet another peice of blonde wicker nonsense that would instantly been to break apart and stick pointy wicker shards out all over.
posted by The Whelk at 8:04 AM on August 31, 2012


Oh man, as a small town girl in the 80's, I thought going to the mall to shop at Pier 1 and Bombay Company was sooooo exotic.
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit at 9:19 AM on August 31, 2012


Oh man, as a small town girl in the 80's, I thought going to the mall to shop at Pier 1 and Bombay Company was sooooo exotic.

I hear you, although I thought maybe more "upscale". And I wasn’t a girl.
posted by bongo_x at 9:24 AM on August 31, 2012


Thanks, you gave me a headache trying to read that, The Whelk. You're on a 1 hour no phone commenting ban.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:13 AM on August 31, 2012


The worst thing about that video, now that've seen it, was that was done in 2003 (!?!1!). At least Yo MS-DOS raps, celebrating the MS-DOS 5.0 upgrade, was done in the mid eighties.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:54 AM on August 31, 2012


Hello? The big feature of Pier 1, as far as I was/am concerned, was and is the Papasan Chair. God those things were great. They were like the ultimate thing to have in your cool college apartment (as imagined by high school me).

I'm not sure how comfy I'd find them now, but when I was just a gal they were totally delightful. I'd like one right now actually. Hold me back, hold me back...
posted by supercoollady at 12:40 PM on August 31, 2012


Pier 1, in the late 80s and early 90s, was also where one went to buy the chunky glass bead necklaces, heavy-ass earrings of questionable metals, incense, patchouli oil, and sandalwood soap that went with the earth-toned mock turtlenecks, broomstick skirts, and cotton Chinese mary janes that were favored in my high school crowd of neo-hippie Amnesty International/Ecology Club/theatre department people.
posted by jocelmeow at 1:46 PM on August 31, 2012


Pier 1 is where bourgeois suburban lesbians shop for wicker furniture.

I was about to get all uppity on yo ass, until I realized you said SUBurban lesbians. Good thing I checked myself before I wrecked myself. Word.
posted by FlamingBore at 2:30 PM on August 31, 2012


something in my intestines is trying to revolt. I mean, it's trying to connect with the customer.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 2:46 PM on August 31, 2012


I didn't choose the rug life, the rug life chose me.
posted by jbickers at 6:32 PM on August 31, 2012


"At least Yo MS-DOS raps, celebrating the MS-DOS 5.0 upgrade, was done in the mid eighties."

As the person unfortunate enough to edit the MS DOS rap video, I can assure you it was done in the early 90s, about summer 1991 or so.
posted by bz at 9:42 AM on September 1, 2012


The original video has been yanked by Pier 1. Can I assume that this is it?

Shepherd and ook pretty much nailed the explanation of what Pier 1 is. The only change is that it has been around since the 1960s. I remember going to them with my grandmother and mum in the 70s. They were much more fun then: larger warehouse-type stores, a lot less expensive, etc. Cost Plus (World Market) is sort of like how Pier 1 used to be.
posted by deborah at 10:35 PM on September 4, 2012


The original video has been yanked by Pier 1. Can I assume that this is it ?

Is it wrong that I was kind of hoping this was a totally different cheesefest? Yep, that's the one.
posted by FlamingBore at 11:39 AM on September 5, 2012


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