When did David Lynch start directing nhl games?
September 5, 2012 4:44 PM   Subscribe

The NHL is facing the possibility of a lockout and Mexican fire hockey is still in the early stages of a comeback, so what's a hockey fan to do? Humor and/or Humour blog Down Goes Brown has your back with extensive archives and a new book. If you get desperate, you could even try their long-running series analyzing Obscure Moments in Toronto Maple Leaf History.

Obscure Leaf Moments:

That time Pat Quinn screwed up the lineup card during a playoff game

Markov Salutes Jagr

The final seconds of game seven against the Sharks

Gary Leeman vs. Denis Savard

That time Mike Foligno kicked Curtis Joseph in the face

Everything that happened immediately after the Clark-McSorley fight

Nikolai Borschevsky's post-game interview with Ron MacLean
posted by mannequito (28 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

I'm sorry, Canada. The mere existence of Mexican Fire Hockey has rendered your national sport moot.

I'm still stunned.

Mexican Fire Hockey

Mexican Fire Hockey

posted by b1tr0t at 4:53 PM on September 5, 2012 [8 favorites]

Obama and Harper should put aside their political differences and find some obscure NAFTA provision to end this madness.
posted by humanfont at 4:58 PM on September 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Yeah, haven't even watched the clip yet, and I am a Mexican fire hockey fan.

Mostly because I watched every Rangers game last year and there was no fire.
posted by cjorgensen at 4:58 PM on September 5, 2012

After that description, I'm kind of sad that the video of the Borschevsky interview isn't available any more.
posted by figurant at 5:00 PM on September 5, 2012

Seriously. I realize OP meant to include Mexican Fire Hockey as a funny random aside, but that shit it awesome.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 5:04 PM on September 5, 2012

What am I going to do? I'm going to go watch some WHL games where the players try all the time. It's quite refreshing.
posted by jimmythefish at 5:09 PM on September 5, 2012

Mexican Fire Hockey: Evil is the darkness and the good is the ball.
posted by jimmythefish at 5:12 PM on September 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

I just exclaimed "MEXICAN FIRE HOCKEY!" to my dog.

Being half chihuahua, he already knew about it.
posted by roger ackroyd at 5:13 PM on September 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

Southern California Fire Hockey & Fake Duck Roast [Turn off the volume before clicking.].
posted by notyou at 5:13 PM on September 5, 2012

" Even though his season is officially over, he's going to passive-aggressively milk this late goal for all it's worth. Life is all about savoring the small victories.In hindsight, of course, he was right. This goal is the best thing that's ever happened to the San Jose Sharks in the playoffs."

Le sigh...
posted by TwoWordReview at 5:13 PM on September 5, 2012

After that description, I'm kind of sad that the video of the Borschevsky interview isn't available any more

Here you go! (interview starts at 3:40)
posted by mannequito at 5:18 PM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Wendell Clark for PM!
posted by notyou at 5:23 PM on September 5, 2012

It's all so clear now. If they had implemented FoxTrax by lighting the puck on fire, that would have fixed everything.
posted by Gary at 5:30 PM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Mexican Fire Hockey is the greatest thing since the invention of, well, you know.
posted by delfin at 5:47 PM on September 5, 2012

I want to hate this, but that blog is comedy gold.
posted by clvrmnky at 5:56 PM on September 5, 2012

Why would a hockey fan want to read Leafs' history?
posted by stp123 at 6:20 PM on September 5, 2012 [6 favorites]

another lockout? the last one crushed the league. so dumb.
posted by Ironmouth at 6:52 PM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Dude, this blog is awesome.

Also, if you're following it, here's a succinct little article about the bullshit numbers the NHL is spitting out. If they're losing money, they're doing it at the track.
posted by lumpenprole at 6:52 PM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Why would a hockey fan want to read Leafs' history

Definitely not a leafs fan but this, from the obscurest moments series is gold:

Somebody throws a crutch on the ice

Any loser can toss a cup of soda or a bag of popcorn on the ice. The really hardcore will throw coins or batteries. But you have to be a special kind of crazy to throw a crutch.

Here's my question: did somebody get so worked up that they forgot they couldn't walk and threw their own crutch on the ice? Or did somebody else steal a crutch for a handicapped person and fire it over the glass?

posted by bumpkin at 7:12 PM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Can someone who understand labor negotiations explain why a lockout would be viable tactic for the owners? The point is to break the union's resolve by basically starving the workers out, right? But the minimum salary in the NHL is $500,000. Surely it's pretty hard to starve out someonewho made $500,000 last year. Just like, on the flipside, the union's weakness isn't that the strike fund will run dry, it's that it's probably pretty easy to find scabs.
posted by hoyland at 7:39 PM on September 5, 2012

Weeeell... I'm no economic theorist with a focus on industrial organization, game theory and bargaining, and a particular interest in the institutions of North American professional sports leagues, but I'd imagine when you're looking a limited number of prime working years you don't have to get people to the point of literally starving before it's painful for them to be locked out.
posted by ~ at 7:56 PM on September 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

Surely it's pretty hard to starve out someonewho made $500,000 last year.

Take taxes, agent fees and whatever else out of that 500K and you're not left with a whole heck of a lot, especially if you have a family, a mortgage and so on.

Players who make more can endure the hardship longer, but the opportunity cost is a much, much ... costlier ... for players than for owners. Owners earn forever or until they sell. Players earn for only a few years, on average. To make it worse for the players, the NHL was able to negotiate a national TV contract with NBC* that pays them whether they play or don't. It isn't as much as they'd make otherwise, but it's something.

The issue for the league and the PA is the same as last time.

A third or more of the teams are losing money, another third are scraping by, and the remaining third are profitable (and a few among those are wildly profitable --Toronto, New York, Philadelphia).

The owners want the players to solve it with a salary rollback and a smaller share of a smaller sized pie. (A twofer: the owners want to change the accounting rules used to determine "hockey related revenue", which is the pie out of which the PA currently gets a 57% slice, to make the pie itself smaller; and they want to reduce that slice to 43% (as of their first proposal).)

They've also proposed a lot of stuff about rookie contracts, contract length and etc that are non-starters for the players.

The players want the rich clubs to solve it with deeper revenue sharing and a smaller rollback met by freezing their take in absolute dollars now while the owners capture the growth over the next few years.

They're currently not talking.

*That's Comcast, by the way, who also own the Philadelphia Flyers.
posted by notyou at 8:03 PM on September 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I always thought Wendel Clark was the hockey incarnation of a Weeble.
posted by srboisvert at 9:52 PM on September 5, 2012

didnt the nhl just finish up a lockout?
posted by jestingfan at 10:38 PM on September 5, 2012

My scout troop used to play soccer with a flaming wireframe ball of rags. Isn't this an international norm?
posted by Neale at 2:42 AM on September 6, 2012

nthing the Mexican Fire Hockey enthusiasm. I hadn't even heard of it before, despite living here for 14 years. Also, despite the producer of that short being a friend of mine, who I've worked with, but admittedly haven't talked to for a while.

In general, any sport that involves some sort of ball, puck, or similar moving at high speeds would be improved by just setting that thing (is there a general term for a sports "missile"?) on fire and turning down the lights.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 3:13 AM on September 6, 2012

Chiming in with serious love and excitement for Mexican Fire Fucking Hockey. Wow.
posted by molecicco at 3:15 AM on September 6, 2012

It's the USHL for me this season. The one difficulty being a season ticket holder for this franchise is that it is completely at odds with being a homer for this franchise.

Damn you, geography!

On the other hand, the linked blog is pretty much awesome. So thanks for that.

Oh, and, well, you might just fuck things up forever for me, NHL. People for whom my yearly income is a rounding error--if that--not being able to figure out how to share hundreds of millions of dollars really make me frickin' mad. Deciding to come back after the last lockout was touch and go. This one, maybe not so much.
posted by Fezboy! at 8:16 AM on September 6, 2012

« Older The History Of New York In 50 Objects (NYT)...  |  President Putin leads a flock ... Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments