Streaking? Oh man that's so cray cray!

September 11, 2012 8:40 PM

This is how you do it: Streak at high school sporting event and get away with it. [NSFW warning: Butt.]
posted by Mike Mongo (64 comments total)

Any cop chasing a streaker risks humiliation.
posted by HuronBob at 8:45 PM on September 11, 2012 [5 favorites]

License plate?
posted by jeffamaphone at 8:48 PM on September 11, 2012

License plate?

I hope that if they planned it that well, they had the sense to cover it up.
posted by HuronBob at 8:50 PM on September 11, 2012

The security guy must have forgot to charge his tazer. Those are standard-issue now, right?
posted by quadog at 8:50 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

Man, that is a high quality streaker butt.
posted by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on September 11, 2012

Dude has a cute ass, no lie.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 8:54 PM on September 11, 2012 [10 favorites]

His tan pattern shows that he is clearly a football player.
posted by unSane at 8:56 PM on September 11, 2012 [2 favorites]

If there is one thing I need more of in my life, it is butt warnings.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:57 PM on September 11, 2012

That was amazing, and as far as I can remember the only time I've ever seen someone get away with it.
posted by mathowie at 8:57 PM on September 11, 2012 [2 favorites]

I thought you were exaggerating but no lie; if he gets caught it's because the ass is pretty unforgettable.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:02 PM on September 11, 2012 [3 favorites]

It's not clear in the gifs, but if you watch the video, it looks like he took a little damage after the first fence.
posted by crunchland at 9:06 PM on September 11, 2012

Needed a pickup, almost got nabbed when he fumbled the door opening.
posted by madajb at 9:08 PM on September 11, 2012

That was a great ass right there.
posted by Sternmeyer at 9:09 PM on September 11, 2012

if he gets caught it's because the ass is pretty unforgettable.

Because deputy/coach/teacher/girlfriend/whatever is going to say "hey, I recognize that butt!"...?

nope...not gonna happen.
posted by HuronBob at 9:10 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

My dad* has a pretty good streaking story about himself from before, and this is his claim, streaking was a 'thing' (boogity-boogity) so I'll take this opportunity to ask those older mefites here this:

Was streaking really somewhat of an unknown thing in the 50s, 60s, and maybe even the 70s? Less so than it's a known entity to an give person on the street nowadays anyway. Surprisingly enough that wiki link tends to back him up. What a world that must have been when streaking was only a random happenstance involving aristocratic bets and initiations.

A rose by any other name...

*minor character reference on the old man here and here, not that you probably care much...
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:18 PM on September 11, 2012

Mike that was awesome! Good luck to his junk
posted by jestingfan at 9:28 PM on September 11, 2012

Streaking at educational institutions was pretty common starting in the 60's. Here in Ann Arbor there was a tradition of hundreds of students running naked through the "diag"... it's a fading tradition...
posted by HuronBob at 9:29 PM on September 11, 2012

starting in the 60's

Ok, that agrees with his claim. And he didn't run with people in academia and the only time he spent at educational institutions would have been college football games as a spectator/fan, not as an alumnus, so... yea, myth confirmed I guess.
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:33 PM on September 11, 2012

These Birds of a Feather: "Dude has a cute ass, no lie."

You other brothers can't deny....
posted by schmod at 9:36 PM on September 11, 2012 [5 favorites]

Right before I turned 18, one of my friends decided I was way too boring and dared me to deal down two blocks of the pearl street mall in Boulder. I got a lot of applause from the bums and Traveler who were hunkering down for the night, and some cat calls from cu students too. I like to think I haven't been nearly as boring since.
posted by boo_radley at 9:37 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh man, did anyone else cringe when he went over that fence with a not-reassuring amount of clearance? Just the idea of getting your danglies caught, and bobbing there like a meat slinky dangling over a bottom step... *shiver*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:38 PM on September 11, 2012 [10 favorites]

Oh yeah, step 5 earned an "Oh Jesus" from me.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:48 PM on September 11, 2012

This is honestly the first time I've ever been impressed with the clean, precise tactical planning behind a streaking operation. Let us all hope he continues to use his powers for good.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:48 PM on September 11, 2012 [13 favorites]

Sad thing is my ass never even came close to looking like that, even when I was in my prime.
posted by maxwelton at 9:48 PM on September 11, 2012

Metafilter: bobbing there like a meat slinky dangling over a bottom step.
posted by HuronBob at 9:48 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also, how long until Paul Ryan takes credit for this?
posted by maxwelton at 9:49 PM on September 11, 2012 [11 favorites]

What we have here is one fine looking butt, maxwelton. No need to taint it with an asshole.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 9:52 PM on September 11, 2012 [12 favorites]

I see what you did there.
posted by King Bee at 9:53 PM on September 11, 2012 [1 favorite]

Any cop chasing a streaker risks humiliation.

Verna: And you chased him, right? You ran and ran, finally caught up to him and you nabbed him. But it wasn't a streaker anymore and he'd changed into something else, something wonderful.
Tom Reagan: Nah, it stayed a streaker and no, I didn't chase him. Nothing more foolish than a man chasin' a streaker.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:54 PM on September 11, 2012 [3 favorites]

Here in Ann Arbor there was a tradition of hundreds of students running naked through the "diag"... it's a fading tradition...

assholebuckeyealert
Just like Michigan football!
endassholebuckeyealert
posted by Kwine at 9:56 PM on September 11, 2012 [4 favorites]

if he gets caught it's because the ass is pretty unforgettable.

Do they do a butt line up for that? Surely you could game the systems with some well-placed tanning cream and some temporary tatts.
posted by smoke at 10:38 PM on September 11, 2012

It's probably not commonly prosecuted too hard, but depending on the jurisdiction, I'd be worried about catching some Buford T. Justice type on a bad day and next thing you know you're a registered sex offender.
posted by ftm at 10:58 PM on September 11, 2012 [2 favorites]

Needed a pickup, almost got nabbed when he fumbled the door opening.

If you watch the video, you'll see that the cop never made it over the second fence. It would have been great if the streaker had taunted him a bit more from inches away before getting into the car. The funniest part is the cop chasing the guy like he robbed a bank or something.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:01 PM on September 11, 2012

I distinctly recall a streaking incident taking place in the early 70s whilst I was in the car with my parents, driving through the Catskill Mountians in New York. Two men and one woman ran across the road in front of the car, interestingly but not shockingly naked from my child's perspective, leading my father to slow a bit. Several seconds passed as we drove on, and then my father asked my mother, "Did you see that?" My mother laughed and nodded. My father then said, "Then you saw two and I saw two."

I puzzled over the math for a bit, and it was at this point that I realized that my father considered the interesting parts of a naked women to be breasts, and of naked men to be bits.

In any case, streaking was clearly a "thing" in the area around Woodstock in the 1970s.
posted by DrMew at 11:07 PM on September 11, 2012

It happened in our lifetimes. The perfect getaway.
posted by Krazor at 11:35 PM on September 11, 2012

Now comes the part that is simultaneously most important and most difficult for not getting caught, saying NOTHING.
posted by Blasdelb at 1:03 AM on September 12, 2012 [13 favorites]

Because deputy/coach/teacher/girlfriend/whatever is going to say "hey, I recognize that butt!"...?

Is butt recognition even admissible evidence??
posted by Skygazer at 1:21 AM on September 12, 2012

Streaking was definitely a thing in the 70's, even on late night TV. Johnny Carson seemed quite surprised.
posted by stray thoughts at 1:25 AM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Seems like it hasn't changed much since the 70s... it feels like the frequency is about the same as it has been. Although, now that I think a little, it may be dropping, because everyone hears about everything these days. Seems like I'd never have seen this, pre-Internet.

Streaking could have been very common, and because of the relative locality of news, I probably wouldn't have heard of much of it. So, the only conclusion I can draw is that relying on our already-inaccurate memories probably won't tell us anything useful.... the world is changing too quickly. You'd probably have to tackle it as a real research project to find out for sure.
posted by Malor at 2:02 AM on September 12, 2012

Is butt recognition even admissible evidence??

Yes, courts have generally accepted Ass Recognition Software Evidence, which was developed by the NSA a few decades back to get to the bottom of assassination plots, but now has wide use in policing. The details of the analysis are still confidential, but it has something to do with analysis of curvilinear asymptotes as unique markers. Don't worry; our tech will soon catch this cheeky bum!
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:49 AM on September 12, 2012 [15 favorites]

Ass Recognition Software Evidence...

I see what you did there. I like it.
posted by empatterson at 2:53 AM on September 12, 2012 [5 favorites]

Oh, how I loved streaking when it became a thing. The whole Big Deal of streaking is, it's not a big deal. If it shocks you, you are the one with a problem. Streaking was embraced, in the 70's, as an easy way to demonstrate the absurdity of "the establishment", those bozos who felt streaking was a horrible shocking thing that needed to be punished.

Healthy people laugh or lust. The sickos chase and gnash their teeth in outrage. Same as it ever was.
posted by Goofyy at 3:27 AM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

We have pictures of you so-called mooners. And just because the pictures aren't of your faces doesn't mean we can't identify you. At this very moment those pictures are on their way to Washington where the FBI has experts in this type of identification. If you turn yourselves in now, you may escape a Federal charge.
posted by Mchelly at 3:38 AM on September 12, 2012 [9 favorites]

Does it count as "streaking" if the people were just walking slowly? Because the only streaking thing I've seen came in the middle of an all-nighter trivia contest I used to do a couple times a year at Williams College. Me and my team were all at our team base doing the contest when suddenly, sometime around 4 am, three completely naked guys wandered into the room. When questioned, they said that no, they hadn't known about this trivia contest, they were just three guys who were bored and decided to take a naked stroll around campus. They'd stopped into a couple other places before joining us.

They had to linger a while in our room because one of the guys was having a sudden, er, reaction to his state (he sat down with a book in his lap for about 20 minutes), and it was interesting watching how our team handled it - the guys on our team were all drifting as far away from them as possible, the women kept coming up with excuses to wander over into ogling distance, and our obsessive team leader kept trying to talk them into staying long enough to hear what the next "action trivia" was (a skit we would sometimes have to do) to see if there was a way we could work three naked guys into our skit for extra points.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:13 AM on September 12, 2012 [3 favorites]

Streaking happened during cricket matches in the late 70's fairly often. I think it's a good idea to stay well clear of the guy with the bat.

Having said that, hooray for the flawlessness of both this guy's bum and his escape!
posted by h00py at 4:57 AM on September 12, 2012

I see what you did there. I like it.

Don't blame me for it. Read Admiral Butz, who was in charge of the initial program, came up with the acronym. Go figure.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:32 AM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Was streaking really somewhat of an unknown thing in the 50s, 60s, and maybe even the 70s?

It was so popular in the 70s that they made a film about it.
posted by burnmp3s at 5:59 AM on September 12, 2012

Butt it was too late...
posted by hal9k at 6:01 AM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

My father told me a story about a local streaker in the 70's (told to him by one of the police officers involved). The young woman waited until she had a unformed policeman chasing her, glanced over her shoulder, grinned, and then put on a burst of speed that got her away clean. She was later identified as a member of the high school track team. (Whether via the officer seeing her face or via her speed, I don't know.) Apparently there had been a string of incidents.

We had nudists at Reed College in the 90's, too. The only time they "streaked" that I know of was the Halloween when they painted striped on themselves and went out as "a stampede of zebras". They'd also do stuff like play nude slip-n-slide on the main lawn or show up naked to class during the week that we had prospective students visiting. I think they wanted to be shocking, but the campus reaction was more along the lines of "oh, hey, the nudists are on the lawn again. So, did you do the reading for..."
posted by Karmakaze at 6:05 AM on September 12, 2012

Johnny Carson seemed quite surprised.

Ha. He handles it perfectly. Also note Doc Severinsen counting the band members about 30 seconds in.
posted by mediareport at 6:34 AM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think it is in decline in a lot of places, thanks to worries over liability, insurance, etc.

When I was in college there was an annual group streak that the campus EMTs attended with their ambulance (because there was a row of goolies-height bollards that had to be passed twice, which some drunk lad always failed to avoid). Last year the campus president put the kibosh on it for good: Tufts Naked Quad Run
posted by wenestvedt at 6:42 AM on September 12, 2012

One clear and bracing autumn morning, one of my fellow University students awoke to find himself in bed, with only a sheet and blanket between himself and the dozens of students gathered to stare at him in front of the campus center. His frat brothers had attached the bedclothes to the frame in such a way that the student had no choice but to streak across the dewy quad to his dorm. The full moon set late that morning.

Everyone gave the poor hungover bastard one hell of an ovation.

Good times.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:54 AM on September 12, 2012

Came for the streaking, stayed for the butt puns. (Needs warning: Butt puns.)
posted by straight at 7:36 AM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Because deputy/coach/teacher/girlfriend/whatever is going to say "hey, I recognize that butt!"...?

nope...not gonna happen.


We obviously don't watch the same pornography.

(I think I knew that already.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:54 AM on September 12, 2012

That delightful, muscular butt is the reason he was able to leap over the fence and not catch his dangly bits in the links. But I think I need to watch it again to be sure. In slow motion. With a cocktail.
posted by Kokopuff at 12:26 PM on September 12, 2012 [2 favorites]

Mchelly, I had grabbed that quote to post it. It is my favorite quote from "Grease" and I use it on a regular basis.
posted by SuzySmith at 12:33 PM on September 12, 2012

Ha. He handles it perfectly. Also note Doc Severinsen counting the band members about 30 seconds in.

And Ed MacMahon seems genuinely tickled. If ever a hearty "HAI-OOOOH!" were relevant, that would be the time.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:56 PM on September 12, 2012

Oh my goodness.
posted by homunculus at 4:12 PM on September 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think the alpha and omega in reactions to streakers is still Larry Niven's response to a streaker at the Oscar awards.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:39 PM on September 12, 2012 [2 favorites]

And by Larry Niven of course I mean DAVID Niven.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:40 PM on September 12, 2012

Given that this was a high school and thus that that was presumably an underage kid, are these videos even legal? Or are we all going to both hell and jail for staring at that kid's ass?
posted by jacquilynne at 7:30 PM on September 12, 2012

I was going to mention that last night, but didn't want to be a buzzkill.
posted by crunchland at 7:55 PM on September 12, 2012

We have (jockstrap or sock wearing) streakers every year at our high school homecoming day.

I don't recall anyone ever chasing them or even trying to figure out who they are.
posted by davey_darling at 8:16 PM on September 12, 2012

According to a girl in the comments, the kid got caught anyway because he was filmed putting the mask on. I found this article saying a student had been charged over it.
posted by jacalata at 8:50 PM on September 12, 2012