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...magazines depicting lesbianism, homosexuality, sodomy, transvestism, sadism, bestiality, masochism - all the abnormal perversions!
September 14, 2012 12:16 AM   Subscribe

The Citizens for Decent Literature want you to join their fight against PRINTED POISON. (possibly NSFW.)
posted by loquacious (46 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite

 
Shocking depravity!
posted by Artw at 12:29 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Vice Squad looks quality...
posted by Artw at 12:31 AM on September 14, 2012


/does not Google "lesbian Alley"
posted by Artw at 12:35 AM on September 14, 2012


There is a sequel! Perversion for Profit

"Hello there, I'm George Putman."
posted by Artw at 12:46 AM on September 14, 2012


Was that Charles Keating? If so, I think he is still alive.
I wonder what he thinks of the internet.
posted by quazichimp at 12:59 AM on September 14, 2012


Look at these filthy publications! And here! This one is even filthier! Oh my! This one here is the filthiest thing I've seen yet! My. Oh my. I better read the whole thing and write a synopsis.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 1:30 AM on September 14, 2012 [20 favorites]


It must be a conservative thing to demonstrate how much you are "for" something by showing how much you are "against" its opposite. It's sort of like how the Republicans support Mitt Romney.
posted by three blind mice at 2:13 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


We're supposed to lol at this? I was actually quite impressed. At the form, not the content.
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 2:17 AM on September 14, 2012


"Lot's of work, eh?" Yeah, after reading all the smut to "make a case", he's sweaty and caps it off with a cigarette. That's about right.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 2:20 AM on September 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


lol we have advanced so far since then
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:26 AM on September 14, 2012


Actually, I'm now ready to believe that this has been posted totally on-the-fence. That is; not pro or con.
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 2:53 AM on September 14, 2012


I think it's the typical "the thing made me do so" guilt externalization combined with a post-hoc ergo propert-hoc fallacy

1. I read a porn 'zine;
2. Soon after having read the porn, I feel aroused,
3. Hence I conclude that the porn 'zine _caused_ my feeling aroused.

now let's apply the same reasoning to hearing a thunder

a. I hear a thunder;
b. Soon after having heard the thunder, I feel aroused,
c. Hence I conclude that the thunder _caused_ my feeling aroused.

That doesn't happen frequently, does it? Now consider feeling around after NOT having seen any porn...what caused the arousal? One would look to any event occourring _immediately before_ feeling aroused ..say you were doing something you don't remotely associate with sex (open a door, cooking, knitting, you name it). You would conclude that (open a door, cooking, knitting, you name it) causes arousal.

Combined that fallacy with the belief that "having sexual toughts is bad" and with the belief that "a person that has sexual toughts is therefore a bad person". What can I do to dismiss the idea that I am a "bad person"?

As I innocently believe that (opening a door, cooking, knitting, you name it) or reading a porn _causes_ arousal, I can conveniently blame something that is evidently NOT me (the porn magazine) and that I believe to be the cause of my arousal.

1. I read a porn 'zine;
2. Soon after having read the porn, I feel aroused;
3. hence I conclude that the porn 'zine _caused_ my feeling aroused;

4. I believe (or I was told) that having sexual tought makes you a bad person;
5. reading the porn 'zine is making me have sexuak thoughts;
6. If I stop reading porn 'zine, I will no longer be a bad person;
7. If everybody stops reading porn 'zine, nobody will ever be a bad person;
8. If people refuse stopping reading porn, for their own good I will have to ban it.
posted by elpapacito at 3:29 AM on September 14, 2012


huh?
posted by ryanrs at 3:35 AM on September 14, 2012 [5 favorites]


I like the montage with tiny, tiny black squares. Some people gotta get their fixes by hating themselves. *cough*logcabinrepublicans*cough*
posted by DU at 3:59 AM on September 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


What was up with the half-colorization/half black-and-white thing?

Particularly when the proprietor first engages the "narrator" in the store.

Very odd.
posted by kuanes at 4:29 AM on September 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Favorite beats:

- The smut synopsis. Persuasively condense porn to shame gears of justice into motion. Loved the jump cut to the dimly lit room, where we have spent untold hours scouring untold volumes of shocking filth for salacious details to add to our dossier. Our work concludes when our very focused fellow compiler looks up from the final chapter he will reduce to a few taut, erotic sentences and asks you to lean close, says he "wants you to hear this."

- The sting operation, where the local police take orders from the Man With Enough Spare Time to be a Porn Detective. The plan, the timing, procedure, signals, the police follow his lead on everything like he's Adam West Batman. Then he coordinates an attack on Garyion's constitutional rights like he's Chris Nolan Batman.

- That name, "Garyion." Sounds like it belongs to a smarmy gnome. Also, did Porn Detective already buy a copy of Sexpot for the synopsis? If so, was Garyion suspicious at all when he purchased a second copy or did he assume one of them would be a gift?

- The final summation jury box scene, which made my skin crawl with how strongly it resembled scenes of same in Law and Order and the like. Perhaps it's just that there's only so many ways one can shoot a jury box scene and I would see the same movements in Perry Mason or Boston Legal or whatever but when I saw this, I thought about all the times I've been watching Jack McCoy give the same sort of high-minded condemnation to this or that barbarous defendant or present social ill and there would be this itchy feeling where I was more or less aware that the show was functionally propaganda but by god Sam Watterson could crush a monologue, even without the magnificent eyebrows.

- The district attorney swinging by the trial and presumably waiting around for recess so he could talk to Porn Detective guy (who is now also co-council on the case? lead witness? why is he in there?). The DA stops in the hall and is all, "Yo, I thought this complaint was a waste of resources and a violation of the bill of rights besides when you brought it to me. I went with it when you and my ADA kept piling porn on my desk and talking bout how sometimes obscenity verdicts didn't get challenged and dismissed in the supreme court. But now I'm here before the trial is even over to apologize to you and renounce my prior practice of cautious jurisprudence because I just read this opinion piece in the local paper and holy shit it rocked my world. Nice work, random porn-obsessed crackpot."
posted by EatTheWeak at 5:07 AM on September 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


At one point the narrator describes the subject matter of these publications as "all of the abnormal perversions". Which of course raises the question of what the normal perversions are.
posted by TedW at 5:08 AM on September 14, 2012 [5 favorites]


It's not normal - it's common as miss parker said.
posted by dprs75 at 5:18 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I miss the days when a proprietor of a porno bookstore would wear a business suit to work.
posted by burnmp3s at 5:20 AM on September 14, 2012 [14 favorites]


When you have a creepy bookseller, a recent arrival in town corrupting the youth with his sleazy literature, who is named after a giant in Greek mythology whom Dante places in Hell as a "Monster of Fraud", what you have is the opening third of a Stephen King novel.
posted by Bromius at 5:42 AM on September 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


I wonder how many people back in the day, after watching this film, started itching to do some "research" on their own.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:53 AM on September 14, 2012


"Look at them. The so-called girlie and nudist magazines."

I'm lookin', I'M LOOKIN'!
posted by chrominance at 6:02 AM on September 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm having trouble finding Waldo. I have my suspicions, though.
posted by Decani at 6:10 AM on September 14, 2012


Where can I find some of these... periodicals?
posted by cyclotronboy at 6:43 AM on September 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


"All the abnormal perversions!"

What about the normal perversions?
posted by Goofyy at 6:57 AM on September 14, 2012


That was exquisite. Honestly, what was up with the color, though?

I have to say, if I knew a bookstore set in a featureless white space with books hung from randomly shaped wire hangers I'd probably buy whatever they were selling.
posted by 23 at 7:08 AM on September 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


I wonder how many people back in the day, after watching this film, started itching to do some "research" on their own.

It made me remember a recently discovered factoid that Prohibition increased alcohol consumption by 600%.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 7:08 AM on September 14, 2012


Metafilter: making me have sexuak thoughts
posted by Mooseli at 7:08 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Isn't it pronounced prevert?
posted by TedW at 7:11 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


This had me going for a good minute and a half. I'd convinced myself that it was a very-well-done modern parody of these types of movies, and that it was going to warn me of the evils of bad literature like Twilight.
posted by gurple at 7:14 AM on September 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


The one and only possible answer.
posted by Elizabeth the Thirteenth at 7:41 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Loving the groovy jazz soundtrack, hep cats
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:42 AM on September 14, 2012


I kept expecting to see this.
posted by mosk at 8:39 AM on September 14, 2012


"SODOMY!"

[tame picture of a black woman]
posted by Sys Rq at 8:46 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


STOP LOOKING AT THE CAMERA.
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:04 AM on September 14, 2012


I wonder if Lard von Trier was influenced by this when he was making Europa.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 9:20 AM on September 14, 2012


"SODOMY!"

[tame picture of a black woman]


She clearly has a bottom.
posted by Artw at 9:21 AM on September 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


And please, don't let your daughter be LUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRD into lesbianism!
posted by CyberSlug Labs at 9:39 AM on September 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


/does not Google "lesbian Alley"

Well I now know a lot of rumours about Kirstie Alley...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:45 AM on September 14, 2012


I want to hear more of the 60s prOn writers guidelines.
posted by Artw at 9:46 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


"The more off-beat the better!"
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:51 AM on September 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Dialogue I wasn't ever expecting to hear:

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you and your sewage!"
posted by yoink at 10:26 AM on September 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Well this is a RiffTrax waiting to happen...
posted by the_artificer at 6:27 PM on September 14, 2012


At one point, a reporter refers to "treading on the golden calf of free speech". Did I hear a dog whistle there?
posted by reprise the theme song and roll the credits at 12:53 PM on September 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


More of a dog siren, TBH.
posted by Artw at 12:57 PM on September 15, 2012


That's a good point. Subtle it wasn't.
posted by reprise the theme song and roll the credits at 1:03 PM on September 15, 2012


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