Founding Father Fourway?

September 16, 2012 2:31 AM

We recently discussed which candidates you might vote for in historical elections, but Josh Fruhlinger (of the Comics Curmudgeon [previously] and [citation needed] [previously]) offers the chance to answer a somewhat different question: which Presidents should hook up? Hail to the Slash (NSFW text - and maybe logo - but hey, it's Sunday!)

From the About page:

Among the things I love about my comics blog is that the people who post comments are generally funny, civil, and nice to each other, which distinguishes my blog from virtually every other site that exists on the Internet. However, in the days leading up to the 2008 U.S. presidential election, this civility broke down as a number of nasty political fights broke out. In attempt to stave off further unpleasantness, I demanded that my readers funnel their political passions into Taft/Roosevelt slash fiction, because it was the only thing I could think of off the top of my head.
....
This worked better than I could have ever imagined, both in terms of stopping arguments and in producing legitimate masterpieces of Taft/Roosevelt erotica. I was really struck by how hilarious and occasionally poignant they were (this one’s my favorite). And so I always had in mind that, come 2012, I would return to the idea. This site is that return.

posted by solotoro (24 comments total)

I do not cotton you your "poignant favorite," Sir! I cannot forgive Wilson for what he did to the IWW and war protestors! Turn your libido elsewhere, and leave the man unfulfilled. Let's see that Eugene Debs slash instead, and a scenario where the "[fluid] of the Workers" is not completed with [Blood]!
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:14 AM on September 16, 2012 [7 favorites]

Winston Churchill met President Roosevelt at the hot springs the president frequented for his polio affliction. Winston came dressed in his swimming trunks and little else; he knew he wasn’t there for a war briefing.

Seems reasonable enough to me. Churchill would do ANYTHING to defeat Hitler. That's why he was the right man at the right time.
posted by alasdair at 5:18 AM on September 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

*looks at link*
*gets another beer*
You people are sick, sick people.

Beer?
posted by Mezentian at 5:40 AM on September 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Needs more First Ladies.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:39 AM on September 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Well Fraklin Pierce was the pretty boy president but that's pretty for 19th century politicians so take with a grain of salt. Teddy's got that bull moose oh what a virile beard I've got thing going for him...and of course the possibility of hate sex between the parties. Can someone just strangle Jackson?
posted by The Whelk at 8:07 AM on September 16, 2012 [3 favorites]

I like the fact that the smiling Cheney picture looks like it was resurrected from a digitally scanned image of a photocopy, the digital copy of which had to be restored from an incomplete attempt at securely deleting the file. No one could see the smile of Cheney, because the true smile would corrupt even the surest of hearts. People kept trying to obliterate the photo, but the image could not be completely destroyed.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:16 AM on September 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

Also: if 50 Shades of Grey is the rebirth of Mommy Porn, then this can be the start of what-if historian porn (though I wouldn't be surprised if, given the long history of alternate history fiction, some of it hasn't included steamy "what-if" scenes).
posted by filthy light thief at 8:19 AM on September 16, 2012

No one could see the smile of Cheney,

Actually, that was Photoshopped from an image of him biting open the skull of an enemy, so it doesn't really count as a smile.

Why was it even there? I don't believe anyone could want Cheney slash; it's too terrible to contemplate.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:23 AM on September 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Of course the OTP is really Bill Clinton/ Human population of Earth.
posted by The Whelk at 8:43 AM on September 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

Teddy's got that bull moose oh what a virile beard I've got thing going for him...

"Barebacking with the Rough Rider" practically writes itself....
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:47 AM on September 16, 2012 [6 favorites]

Adams/Jefferson, OBVIOUSLY.
posted by sallybrown at 8:58 AM on September 16, 2012

The Whelk: Everyone knows Jackson's into the weird stuff.
posted by Cash4Lead at 9:04 AM on September 16, 2012

I pefer to belive Vidal's assumption that like half of the American Revolution was an attempt to get into Adams pantaloons.
posted by The Whelk at 9:05 AM on September 16, 2012 [4 favorites]

I'm favoriting all the comments so much, but inside, really, I'm just going "ew. ew. EW!"
posted by PapaLobo at 9:16 AM on September 16, 2012

inside, really, I'm just going "ew. ew. EW!

EW? Entertainment Weekly? I was thinking Congressional Quarterly, myself.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:59 AM on September 16, 2012

Aren't they the same thing?
posted by PapaLobo at 10:13 AM on September 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Josh is behind in posting submissions---I sent along my masterpiece from this magical 2004 thread a few days ago.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:08 AM on September 16, 2012

Daniel Boone seduces Jackson with promises of real back country ruggled masculinity and a living connection to the Revolutionary War only to have Boone call him a coward and a bully and leave him naked and tied to a tree in the woods.

And then he releases the hungry pigs.
posted by The Whelk at 11:59 AM on September 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

Mitt Would Kick Obamunist Butt in a Spartan-Style Wrestling Match
posted by homunculus at 1:42 PM on September 16, 2012

... and then they'd make out?
posted by filthy light thief at 1:45 PM on September 16, 2012 [1 favorite]

I AM SO DISTURBED

YET STRANGELY AROUSED

...I'll be in my bunk.
posted by suburbanbeatnik at 2:25 PM on September 16, 2012 [2 favorites]

I'm sorry, but I apparently do not understand. No one has mentioned the Kennedy brothers. Therefore, nothing here makes sense, as no other political slash fiction could be hotter than that involving them. Or is it simply that they are too obvious? Hope me.
posted by Goofyy at 3:56 AM on September 17, 2012

Zombie!John/Ted/Zombie!Bobby would not fit my definition of hot political slash fiction. And if someone has already written that I definitely do not want to read it.
posted by 6550 at 6:31 AM on September 17, 2012

Zombie!John/Ted/Zombie!Bobby would not fit my definition of hot political slash fiction

But think of the kinks you could explore with detachable penii.
posted by Mezentian at 3:06 AM on September 18, 2012