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Cupcake Justice
September 19, 2012 3:53 AM   Subscribe

Tonight, two new fall shows premiere: Mob Doctor, which is about a doctor who works for the mob, and Revolution, which is about a devastating global power outage and — more than that — a revolution. Neither of these shows particularly requires your attention, but taken together, they emphasize that essentially, all you need to make a show is the right combination of title-friendly words. In fact, if you take the correct 25 words, you can combine them (often in either order!) to create all the television we will see in the next ten years.
posted by malapropist (108 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Awesome. I'd probably watch CUPCAKE FORCE, but FORCE CUPCAKE would probably be too violent.

Also, you can do this with James Bond movies by choosing 3 of these 5 words:

DIE
TOMORROW
ANOTHER
NEVER
DIAMONDS
posted by DU at 4:00 AM on September 19, 2012 [11 favorites]


There was a program in Creative Computing about 30 years ago that did this in BASIC.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 4:12 AM on September 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


You can do the same with Simple Minds lyrics

GOLD
BRILLIANT
SPARKLE
DREAM
SUMMERTIME
GLITTER
posted by mattoxic at 4:12 AM on September 19, 2012 [9 favorites]


911 JUSTICE CUPCAKE - Coming this Fall!
posted by marienbad at 4:14 AM on September 19, 2012 [10 favorites]


The Revolution pilot was up on iTunes this past weekend for free. It was not good. Neat-ish idea poorly executed.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 4:17 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


I can't help but wonder if there will be a last-minute injunction to stop Revolution from debuting because, as we all know, the Revolution will not be televised.
posted by graymouser at 4:24 AM on September 19, 2012 [13 favorites]


REAL ALASKA TRUCKER CUPCAKE LOVE
posted by ellF at 4:26 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Why isn't KITTENS in there?

Kitties make everything better. Imagine... TRUCKER KITTENS! I would so watch that.
posted by suburbanbeatnik at 4:30 AM on September 19, 2012 [9 favorites]


Whileas KITTENS TRUCKER would be a dark and gritty expose on the reality of industrialized pet shops.
posted by DRMacIver at 4:31 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


MYSTERY PET WARS is going to be a corker.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:34 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Do people still voluntarily pay attention to the traditional "fall season" on network TV? Make sure to take your soma, too!
posted by Goofyy at 4:40 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


I would have liked to watch "Mob" and "Doctor Revolution."
posted by michaelh at 4:46 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Both Mob Doctor and Revolution are pretty meh-to-horrible. Shame, because I was rooting for Zach Gilford and Giancarlo Esposito, respectively.
posted by flippant at 4:47 AM on September 19, 2012


When the Fall Season brings me a new episode of AMERICA STORM, you bet your sweet bippy I do, Goofyy.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:47 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Last Resort is a decent offering though. Will be interesting to see how far they can stretch the submarine mutiny dynamic of Crimson Tide. Aside from that, it was a refreshing pilot.
posted by flippant at 4:49 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


911 JUSTICE CUPCAKE - Coming this Fall!

Martha Stewart exacts her revenge on the terrorists that caused her cupcakes to collapse on themselves - only to confront the tentacles of a conspiracy so large its goal is total kitchen domination.
posted by three blind mice at 4:52 AM on September 19, 2012 [7 favorites]


Because somebody has to:

911 - Celebrety Cupcake Trucker Wars: A Revolution of Justice comes as Mysterious Pet Mobs Force Teams to Doctor "Fashion Law" for Love and Country taking Real America, from Chicago Diners to the Alaskan Heat, Forever by Storm
posted by Blasdelb at 4:56 AM on September 19, 2012 [16 favorites]


Relatedly: together THEY FIGHT CRIME.
posted by rmd1023 at 4:56 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


HTWRT, isn't Mystery Pet Wars Pokemon?
posted by mollweide at 5:06 AM on September 19, 2012 [7 favorites]


911 - Celebrety Cupcake Trucker Wars: A Revolution of Justice comes as Mysterious Pet Mobs Force Teams to Doctor "Fashion Law" for Love and Country taking Real America, from Chicago Diners to the Alaskan Heat, Forever by Storm

So yeah, this list also works as a Palinism generator.
posted by Benjy at 5:08 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm probably going to never watch Mob Doctor, but that won't stop me from wanting to sing-shout the title in the manner of Fred Schneider.
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:09 AM on September 19, 2012 [16 favorites]


TEAM AMERICA: Justice Force
posted by solotoro at 5:10 AM on September 19, 2012


HTWRT, isn't Mystery Pet Wars Pokemon?

No, that's REVOLUTION PET WAR FORCE
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:11 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would totally watch KITTEN TRUCKER, ATTORNEY AT LAW.

(Once upon a time he was a hardened criminal thug. Now he's back in court.. on the other side of the dock. Coming this fall to ABC.)
posted by fight or flight at 5:15 AM on September 19, 2012 [10 favorites]


DINER DOCTOR: CHICAGO.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 5:19 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Awesome. I'd probably watch CUPCAKE FORCE, but FORCE CUPCAKE would probably be too violent.

Nothing violent about Jedi cookery, baby.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:20 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't know if America is ready for PETS DINER.
posted by Dr. Zira at 5:20 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


STORM FORCE: CUPCAKE
posted by blue_beetle at 5:21 AM on September 19, 2012 [6 favorites]


Revolution - at least the 15 minutes we got through before tuning out - reminded me of Terra Nova. Black person in charge of the villains, woman with an English accent for no reason, everyone looks like a TV actor.
posted by Egg Shen at 5:22 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


Egg Shen: Revolution - [...] everyone looks like a TV actor.

They are TV actors - surely this is tautological?
posted by Dysk at 5:24 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


FASHION TRUCKER
posted by jquinby at 5:27 AM on September 19, 2012


dude dude there's only like six plots in all of fiction dude
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:27 AM on September 19, 2012


DINER WARS will almost certainly happen. A fast paced chronicle of the adventures of a group of scrappy diner owner/operators, waging a guerrilla campaign against the fascist oppression of haute cuisine restaurants. Followed shortly by DINER WARS: REVOLUTION.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:29 AM on September 19, 2012


This is fun,

American Revolution: Mysterious Celebrety Mob Trucker Teams from Alaskan Country bring the Heat of Justice for 911 to a Stormy Chicago Love Diner with Real Pet Fashion Doctors using the Force of Cupcake Law, starting the Forever Wars
posted by Blasdelb at 5:32 AM on September 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


HTWRT, isn't Mystery Pet Wars Pokemon?

Surely that would be Mystery Poffin Diner....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:34 AM on September 19, 2012


Do people still voluntarily pay attention to the traditional "fall season" on network TV?

Yes. They do. The Revolution pilot got almost 12 million viewers. There's change in the air and audiences are smaller, but the idea that network television and live viewing have gone the way of the dodo bird is very, very premature.

With that said, the entire reason for this piece is that I was having trouble bringing myself to care.

Agree that KITTEN might fit, but it's been pointed out to me that a far more important addition is GIRLS.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 5:37 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


I would have a lot more confidence in this satiric model if it correctly predicted the last ten years of tv. Science, people.

This model also doesn't suggest Science People as a viable television series title, which is unforgivable.
posted by cardboard at 5:38 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


surely this is tautological?

Suspension of disbelief is a mysterious thing.

Law and Order was a good show and so I unconsciously agreed to ignore the unlikeliness of having not just one assistant DA beautiful enough to be a model but several of them in a row. And in fact, when one of its scripts made a reference to this beauteousness, I was pissed off - as I felt an unspoken contract had been reneged upon.

But to get back to titles, Mob Doctor is a brilliant one. It has that punchy, tells-you-everything-you-need-to-know quality that Rodney Dangerfield's 80s movies had.

Rodney Dangerfield is going... BACK TO SCHOOL.

Rodney Dangerfield is about to come into... EASY MONEY.
posted by Egg Shen at 5:39 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


When the Force of the Mysterious 9/11 Cupcake Storm alters Real Alaska Forever, Revolution comes when a Team of Chicago Country Diner Trukers War for the Love of Celebrity Pets as the Heat of Mob Fashion Law sweeps American Doctors
posted by Blasdelb at 5:40 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


But to get back to titles, Mob Doctor is a brilliant one.

I am hoping for Flash Mob Doctor, myself. It would be a reality show with surprise appendectomies. And lots of infections.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:41 AM on September 19, 2012 [9 favorites]


Yeah, Revolution quickly veered from post-apocalyptic to Little House on the Prairie. I couldn't finish it, especially knowing the entire series would be driven by a central mystery that would never be satisfactorily resolved.
posted by mecran01 at 5:48 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


ALASKA JUSTICE -- crime procedural; snowmobile chases; accidental "hunting" deaths; fur hats

CELEBRITY MYSTERY PETS -- b-list stars are filmed pet-sitting unusual animals. The Angela Landsbury/boa constrictor episode gets high ratings.

DOCTOR TRUCKER -- a Chicago doctor has a nervous breakdown and becomes a trucker, then goes on the road saving people who encounter an unusual number of accidents, conveniently only when Dr. Trucker's in town.
posted by sixohsix at 5:50 AM on September 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


Actually, some producers were sniffing around to do a "Diner Wars" type show about the occasionally violent feud between two restaurant owners here in Somerville.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:58 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


All I can think of doing with these is to try to retitle existing shows into this scheme.

Game of Thrones would clearly be MYSTERY COUNTRY WARS, but I can't help but think that's a bit underwhelming.

Any other ideas?
posted by Anything at 5:59 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


CHICAGO, ALASKA is a wacky Amy Sherman-Palladino show about the residents of a small town in Alaska called "Chicago," complete with miniature scale Chicago skyline made by the local eccentric carpenter/tortured artist and a diner in a 3-story Sears Tower where a strange dude serves coffee. When a journalist from the "real" Chicago is sent to Chicago, Alaska on assignment, the big city girl has to adjust to the pace of a small town but her sexual chemistry with the local snowmobile cop with a unspoken tragic past will keep her in town at least until the end of season 1. Also, everything is shipped into the town on a dogsled driven by a giddily strange woman who befriends our heroine and provides an important dramatic device and weekly shots of adorable dogs, to whom our heroine can deliver high-speed monologues peppered with pop culture without the fear anyone will interrupt her, at least until the head dog barks at a natural concluding point of her monologue and she retorts, "Aw, you're a dog, what do you know?"

CHICAGO HEAT, set in actual Chicago, is only going to be a summer replacement series, and mostly about road construction.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:00 AM on September 19, 2012 [34 favorites]


Dr. Drew launches three new reality shows:

The Celebrity of Doctor America
The America of Doctor Celebrity
The Doctor of American Celebrity
posted by rollick at 6:02 AM on September 19, 2012


CELEBRITY CUPCAKE WARS: Well-known entertainment figures from past decades form teams and pelt each other with baked goods until one team is suffocated with buttercream.

I would watch this.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:06 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


PLEASE
SHOOT
ME
NOW
posted by incandissonance at 6:11 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Martha Stewart exacts her revenge on the terrorists that caused her cupcakes to collapse on themselves - only to confront the tentacles of a conspiracy so large its goal is total kitchen domination.

Let's just tighten that baby up.

MARTHA STEWART TENTACLES.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:21 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


As I've taught my son, the magic words are please and thank you.
THANK YOU, FORCE CHICAGO DINER
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:23 AM on September 19, 2012


add:
AUCTION
HUNTERS

Those combine with the 25 to make so great new shows.
Celebrity Hunters!
Cupcake Auction!
posted by Theta States at 6:24 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


ALASKA HEAT
CELEBRITY DINER
FASHION MYSTERY
911 PETS
posted by swift at 6:28 AM on September 19, 2012


TEAM WARS
LAW LAW LAW REAL
posted by scose at 6:31 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


PETS HEAT

I don't know about that
posted by Xoebe at 6:33 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


When that was brought up, I took the position that it would actually be an Animal Planet show called HEAT PETS, and it would be about the animals people keep in extreme desert conditions. Lizards, snakes, etc. "We'll look at the animals that can stay cool when the temperature rises!"

I admit it's one of the tougher combinations.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 6:44 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


ALASKA HEAT
posted by BeeDo at 6:44 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


MYSTERY FORCE TEAM was much better in the original Japanese.
posted by anthom at 6:47 AM on September 19, 2012 [5 favorites]


John Actor Is... Monkfish
posted by Damienmce at 6:52 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


ALASKA JUSTICE -- crime procedural; snowmobile chases; accidental "hunting" deaths; fur hats

This is not an implausible outcome of a TV producers' discussion on how to respond to the wave of Scandinavian police procedurals coming out of Europe.
posted by acb at 6:56 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Both Mob Doctor and Revolution are pretty meh-to-horrible. Shame, because I was rooting for Zach Gilford and Giancarlo Esposito, respectively.

I kept waiting for Giancarlo Esposito's character to get half of his face blown off. That's pretty much all I'll be waiting for if I keep watching Revolution.
posted by fuse theorem at 6:57 AM on September 19, 2012


Ooh - can we do this with Lovecraft horrors? (thanks to word lists from Cthulhu Chick)

Start with a set of adjectives (1d4 words, 1d10 to pick a word, reroll duplicates)

Nameless
Eldritch
Hideous
Abnormal
Loathsome
Cyclopean
Foetid
Gibbering
Noisome
Tenebrous

And a noun or proper noun (1d10)

Madness
Fungus
Manuscript
Cthulhu
Nyarlathotep
Yog-Sothoth
Necronomicon
Stench
Shoggoth
Azathoth

Maybe tack on a phrase for location? (flip a coin, if heads roll 1d10 / 2 to pick)
Arkham
Innsmouth
Kadath
Leng
Yuggoth

My first random generations (with rolls and coin flips done via ceil(rand*N) in octave; sorry RPG purists):

The Noisome Foetid Hideous Fungus of Leng
Gibbering Loathsome Abnormal Nyarlathotep
The Gibbering Manuscript of Kadath

I can already feel my sanity points slipping away.
posted by roystgnr at 6:59 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


Outdated and missing the words BLOOD, VAMPIRE, ZOMBIE and KITCHEN.
posted by Mooseli at 7:00 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


all you need to make a show is the right combination of title-friendly words.

The AV Club fall TV preview (part 1, part 2) took this gag and ran with it - they suggested a new, descriptive title for every show they previewed.
posted by muddgirl at 7:01 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't feel like FORCE is really pulling its weight, with so many other cop-show words already there, and there's not quite enough overt, jingoistic militarism on the list to reflect the actual state of television these days. So I propose ARMY instead. (I mean, think of the possibilities: ARMY COUNTRY, a heartland-pandering gimme with a Friday Night Lights-like football tie-in possibility; we've all watched ARMY DOCTOR and ARMY LAW in a hundred different guises already; and this is to say nothing of the joy that would be ARMY DINER or FASHION ARMY.) GIRLS is also sorely needed, yes; and I concur that the list needs a little touch more sci-fi/fantasy to be believable — perhaps MAGIC or SPACESHIP or DYSTOPIA?
posted by RogerB at 7:05 AM on September 19, 2012


Sometimes the titles sound too stupid if you stick to the words on the list. You need synonyms to spice things up. Example: "DOCTOR PETS," who would watch that? "ANIMAL PRACTICE," comedy gold! And, it's part of NBC's colorful history as a great ape and monkey friendly network, going back to such classics as Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp. I could have written HuffPo's review from the numerous commercials alone. The key line:
I’d suggest we all hope that Animal Practice is canceled quickly so that everyone involved can move on to better projects
I'm with PETA on this one: no one needs animals for a slapstick medical comedy show.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:13 AM on September 19, 2012


Celebrity Revolution, which is Big Brother meets Survivor meets those Beauty Queens Stranded on an Island YA fiction.

After half a smashing season, a spinoff, Celebrity Mob Revolution will ensue, followed by Cupcake Celebrity Revolution (hip bakeries), Celebrity Mob Revolution Chicago and Celebrity Mob Revolution Alaska, featuring Sarah Palin.

Oh my. TRUCKER LOVE. Hee! Mystery Heat, sounds like a seekrit dating show where the object of seduction is never revealed.

Endless permutations, the creation of which promises to be more interesting and amusing than the actual shows.

Sigh, I had hopes for Revolution. It looked good! At least, until it was all like, uh-huh, 'cause the power went out we can't drive our cars either?!
posted by undue influence at 7:14 AM on September 19, 2012


They forgot EXTREME. Extreme Pets. Extreme Cupcakes.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:22 AM on September 19, 2012 [4 favorites]


Internet Celebrity Rehab Taco Hoarding
posted by Burhanistan at 7:31 AM on September 19, 2012


I am compelled by my sense of civic responsibility to bring up the fact that you are doing it wrong. If you can just add words to the vocabulary at whim, all you're doing is making titles like any other title-maker!
posted by Anything at 7:34 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Where are these?

SWAMP
PAWN
WILD
VS
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:34 AM on September 19, 2012


Revolution lost when a plane exploded in response to the power going out. Bad landing, fine, but spontaneous combustion? Meh.
posted by DoubleLune at 7:41 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


"DIY" to tap into the current popularity of making things yourself:

DIY Mystery Cupcake

yum!
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 7:48 AM on September 19, 2012


I would totally watch CUPCAKES VS KITTENS.
posted by bpm140 at 7:52 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


ideally that would be a robot wars show, one team building robots manned by kittens, the other building robots armed with cupcakes.
posted by elizardbits at 7:58 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Revolution lost when a plane exploded in response to the power going out. Bad landing, fine, but spontaneous combustion? Meh.

That plane exploded because the one passenger who stares at the wings the entire flight praying that the plane not fall out of the sky had an artificial heart. When it went out, nobody was compulsively willing the plane to stay safe anymore, so the whole thing went up.

Look, that's just as plausible as the rest of RevolutionPhysics.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:06 AM on September 19, 2012 [3 favorites]


A "Doctor Who" that works for the mob?
posted by oonh at 8:06 AM on September 19, 2012


that's just as plausible as the rest of RevolutionPhysics

The aggressively silly thing was having the teacher tell the kids "It should bother you that we have no explanation for why this happened."

Well, OK, now that you mention it...
posted by Egg Shen at 8:15 AM on September 19, 2012


I'm pitching COUNTRY TRUCKER DINER WARS to TLC right now!
posted by Mister_A at 8:18 AM on September 19, 2012


Game of Thrones would clearly be MYSTERY COUNTRY WARS, but I can't help but think that's a bit underwhelming.

I'm sad that there's SUMMER and not WINTER, so instead I'm going with ALASKA STORM FOREVER. Winter is coming, after all.

DWho is clearly MYSTERY DOCTOR. Glad we got away from the Rose seasons, which were LOVE MYSTERY DOCTOR.

I want to say that Arrested Development is REAL FAMILY REVOLUTION, but I'm not sure.
posted by Lemurrhea at 8:47 AM on September 19, 2012


MYSTERY LOVE CUPCAKE
posted by BeeDo at 8:50 AM on September 19, 2012


Though FOREVER WARS would be DC's latest attempt to separate their readership from their coinage, à la the Final Crisis type things.

CHICAGO FASHION FORCE

CELEBRITY PETS IN HEAT

ALASKA'S CUPCAKE REVOLUTION
posted by Grangousier at 9:00 AM on September 19, 2012


The Palins Take Manhattan
posted by Burhanistan at 9:05 AM on September 19, 2012


Law and Order was a good show and so I unconsciously agreed to ignore the unlikeliness of having not just one assistant DA beautiful enough to be a model but several of them in a row. And in fact, when one of its scripts made a reference to this beauteousness, I was pissed off - as I felt an unspoken contract had been reneged upon.

My POSSLQ and I I have watched just about the entire run of Homicide:Life on The Street in the past month or two and while it starts out unglamorous and realistic, it drifts ever further away from that as the show goes through seven seasons.

I remarked on the gradual prettification of the cast, as cops portrayed by the homely Jon Polito and Ned Beatty gradually get worked out of the cast and several fetching young women replace them in the squad room. My favourite new arrival was that of Detective Renée Sheppard in the final season (the lovely Michael Michele), whose long-waisted, big-haired, high-cheekboned appearance they do not even try to cover up, but just shrug and give her the back story that she was a beauty pageant contestant before becoming a cop.

It had an odd spin-off (and occasional crossover with): the web series Homicide: Second Shift, when NBC was trying to drive traffic to its newfangled "web-site" in 1998 or so and, I suppose, also amortize the cost of the set by filming two different shows on the same soundstage by creating a web-only series with a bunch of less pricey actors. We see a couple of these guys turn up during a regular episode once.

At one point there is a shot at one point of the night-shift guys, Austin and Bonnaventura, conversing and I actually paused the DVD so I could marvel aloud: "Look at these guys -- short, balding, rumpled, wearing bad ties: they look like the entire cast of this show did in Season 1."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:06 AM on September 19, 2012


Revolution - [...] everyone looks like a TV actor.
Dysk: They are TV actors - surely this is tautological?

My favorite shows cast actors who don't look like actors. Talent is sexy; I don't need the eye candy when the acting's good.

Shows I regularly watch: The Walking Dead, Justified, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, Hell on Wheels, Game of Thrones and TrueBlood.

Only the last two are full of beautiful people. In GoT, the pretty people are mostly ALSO gifted actors from BBC. As for TrueBlood, even though Eric Norseman fulfills all my eye-candy fantasies, my favorite characters are Lafayette and Russell, neither of whom would qualify as "beautiful people" in the traditional sense--but either of them can steal the show in one scene, because they are just that talented.

Justified does this the best, I think. They obviously make an effort to keep their characters looking like people you could actually run into (gods help you) in the Appalachian foothills. Margo Martindale's Ma Bennett (a role which won her a much-deserved supporting actress Emmy) is the first that comes to mind, but Dickie Bennett's up there, too (Jeremy Davies, nominated three times for his role on the show), and much as I personally lust after Walton Goggins , he's not exactly pretty, either.

Pretty actors who don't fit the premise of a show can turn me off quicker than anything else. Homeless man with perfectly white, capped teeth? They've lost me already.

There was a show recently about a Miami ER that I saw while visiting my parents that could have been interesting, except for the horrible casting--Oh, wait, here it is!

A Miami hospital, and yet most of the drama revolved around the British administrator (which is just insane; English is not even the preferred language in Miami) and the unbelievably attractive (and mostly white) staff who worked under him.

I don't blame the writers so much, because they did at least give a nod to the strong Cuban influence in Miami, in the form of a main character whose family supposedly immigrated from Cuba on a raft, (played by a Brooklyn born actress with Italian and Puerto Rican roots, because why not?), but the casting strained credulity beyond even my capability to suspend belief.

Just as a data point: cast of Miami Medical versus actual Miami hospital personnel.
posted by misha at 9:43 AM on September 19, 2012


FOREVER MYSTERY is a highly-serialized, mystery-laden, prematurely-cancelled TV show about fans of a highly-serialized, mystery-laden, prematurely-cancelled TV show, seeking to unravel the twists and solve the secret mysteries of their favorite TV show. Their ultimate goal is to find the original series bible in the hope that will answer their questions. If FOREVER MYSTERY actually gets a series finale, it will be revealed that series bible has no answers, and the original writers were just making up random crap as they went along, without planning for the actual answers to the questions the original show raised (much like how the writers of FOREVERY MYSTERY will operate).
posted by ckape at 9:47 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


so, a documentary about Twin Peaks fans?
posted by rmd1023 at 9:56 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Hmm. Yeah, a lot of the words work, but some aren't quite right. I'd switch PETS and put in ANIMALS, or better yet just SHARKS.

Instead of MYSTERY, I'd go with DETECTIVE. Substitute ORDER/WAR for FORCE. LEAGUE works better than TEAM. Forget COUNTRY--we're all patriots here! It's AMERICA, or the Terrorists win. In a pinch, you can substitute LA, NY, Seattle or San Francisco for AMERICA, because those are the only cities television types care about. Also, you forgot ICE.

Lastly, you have to add a number to the list. Not a specific number, just (NUMBER).

TRUCKER SHARKS
2027: WAR of the SHARKS and the sequel: SHARK WARS DETECTIVE: AMERICAN JUSTICE
CUPCAKE JUSTICE LEAGUE, SEATTLE 8999 AD.

Yes! Those work for me.

And Game of Thrones becomes ICE WAR: MOB JUSTICE.
posted by misha at 10:06 AM on September 19, 2012


The wife and I watched the Revolution trailer the other night and enjoyed the fact that it was so bad. 15 years after the power goes out and everyone is running around in off the shelf clothes from Old Navy. Hell, I swear at one point I saw a whale tail from the protaganist's thong. The acting was bad, the plot predictable, and the whole thing was a mess. We may somehow wind up watching it just to talk shit to the TV the whole hour.
posted by daHIFI at 10:26 AM on September 19, 2012


Ooh - can we do this with Lovecraft horrors?

SQUAMOUS FASHION CUPCAKES

ELDRITCH TRUCKER ANGLES

RACISM PETS
posted by FatherDagon at 10:30 AM on September 19, 2012


No love for COP LAWYER, M.D.?
posted by BrashTech at 11:17 AM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


CELEBRITY AMERICA REVOLUTION: In a dystopian future, Donald Trump (playing himself) has finally made that presidential run he's always threatening, and because of a King Ralph-style accident that killed off everyone in the Democrat and Republican parties, he wins the election. He immediately turns all of the United States into a giant reality TV show, a war of all against all in which citizens are pitted against each other in "challenges" he concocts. The losers each week are "voted off the island" and have to move to some unnamed foreign country which is obviously very unpleasant because it's not America. But there is a small band of young, attractive people (led by Forrest Whittaker or Geena Davis, somebody like that) who object to this turn of events, and they are fighting to take America back.

LAW JUSTICE: Who lawyers the lawyers? This story-of-the-week legal drama, starring people who played lawyers on Law & Order that one time who then went on to become famous, follows those who work in the American Bar Association's Standing Committee on Professional Discipline. These lawyers and judges prosecute, defend, and adjudicate cases of legal misconduct, deciding the fates of lawyers accused of professional misconduct. And some of them are righteously innocent!

911 HEAT: A reality show about smokejumpers. Seriously, why don't we have this already?
posted by decathecting at 11:19 AM on September 19, 2012


Wake me when we get to CELEBRITY SHARK DEATHMATCH.
posted by punilux at 11:26 AM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


rmd1023, I was mostly thinking about Lost and Battlestar Galactica, but then I threw in the prematurely-cancelled bit to give everyone a false sense of hope that there were actually answers.
posted by ckape at 11:26 AM on September 19, 2012


I assume CUPCAKE JUSTICE from the post title refers to a joint effort between Marvel and DC focusing on the Hipster Cops.
posted by ckape at 11:34 AM on September 19, 2012


MYSTERY FORCE, DOCTOR = "Ow! My Balls!"
posted by lukemeister at 12:06 PM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Every time I see an ad for the new show 'Chicago Fire', I hope against hope that it's a sitcom based on the Major League Soccer team. And then I see the firefighters, and I know that it's not.

I'd rather have the former. Tonight on Chicago Fire, Cory Gibbs hides Alvaro Fernandez' favorite pair of pants in the Recycling Bin. Which, unbeknownst to him, is being picked up a day early. Hilarity Ensues!
posted by spinifex23 at 12:11 PM on September 19, 2012


My problem with Mob Doctor is that, whenever I hear it, all I can think of is "THE RURAL JUROR."
posted by ilana at 1:14 PM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


You mean the RURR JURR?
posted by suburbanbeatnik at 1:43 PM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wow remember SINGLE FEMALE LAWYER?
posted by Mister_A at 1:47 PM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


SQUAMOUS FASHION CUPCAKES

I think Ice Cream Wars: Postal Edition would be more his speed
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:56 PM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Don't forget KITTENS. ICE CREAM AND KITTENS would have been Lovecraft's dream show.
posted by suburbanbeatnik at 5:18 PM on September 19, 2012


Here, I made this for you guys. It only does two words, but if people want three, I can make a three-word one, too.
posted by limeonaire at 6:33 PM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


It only does two words, but if people want three, I can make a three-word one, too.

FOREVER WARS

I'd watch.
posted by jquinby at 7:20 PM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


REVOLUTION CUPCAKE yes
posted by subbes at 7:31 PM on September 19, 2012


Ooo, MOB PETS. That could be pretty awesome.
posted by limeonaire at 8:12 PM on September 19, 2012


Now that I've run that thing a while, though, I think it needs more words. Sex, expert, kitten, and boss, for starters. Maybe undercover or confidential, too.
posted by limeonaire at 8:51 PM on September 19, 2012


Here, I made this for you guys.
posted by limeonaire


I don't know. A show named "ENABLE JAVASCRIPT"?
posted by benito.strauss at 8:54 PM on September 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


EXTREME CELEBRITY ZOOKEEPER

B-List celebs test their mettle in America's toughest zoos.

Episode One includes Kim Kardashian vs. Hungry Hungry Hippos...
posted by Pudhoho at 9:54 PM on September 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


« Older Click and Drag....  |  A year ago, programmer Mark O'... Newer »


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