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Pokémon, Paradigmatically
October 11, 2012 1:02 PM   Subscribe

Pokémon, Paradigmatically
posted by naju (27 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
paradigimonically
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 1:06 PM on October 11, 2012


Parodically pseudointellectually.
posted by RogerB at 1:12 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah, like a sour poffin for my soul!
posted by Greg Nog at 1:14 PM on October 11, 2012 [8 favorites]


DAMN YOU GREG

poffins poffins contextual poffins
posted by elizardbits at 1:15 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


this slanderous analysis of squirtle has angered me.
posted by elizardbits at 1:18 PM on October 11, 2012 [10 favorites]


What? Méfites are evolving!

RogerB evolved into Bullfrog!
Greg Nog evolved into Gregagon!
elizardbits evolved into elizardbytes!
East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 evolved into East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '95!
posted by oulipian at 1:40 PM on October 11, 2012 [23 favorites]


greg evolves into FezNog when exposed to a beer stone.
posted by elizardbits at 1:43 PM on October 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Hey, there's also an online comic jam where users are drawing all the pokemans, sequentually.
posted by hellojed at 1:54 PM on October 11, 2012


this slanderous analysis of squirtle has angered me.

I think that's a Flight of the Conchords lyric.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:34 PM on October 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


As a world-rending sexual interloper who is also a proud member of Team Charmander this article pleases me.
posted by Blue Meanie at 3:00 PM on October 11, 2012


This was looking fairly promising until he got to Squirtle.
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:00 PM on October 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


A friend of mine and I often discuss the mystery and magic of the video game "glitch" (and sometimes even talk of how to capture those elements). When discussing MissingNo. this author gives a rather eloquent line on the subject:

No traditional measure can last once the willfully forgotten of the world have been remembered; no compact can resurrect old hierarchies.
posted by coolxcool=rad at 3:06 PM on October 11, 2012


The problem with discussing MissingNo is thaT To dO THHE SUbjjekt JUSticEE yOOU havE TO GLiTCH oUU$$t &&&yOU^^@JWGiiaggEEEE--
posted by JHarris at 3:20 PM on October 11, 2012


A Mefite appears!
Mefite uses Pokemon Joke!
It's super effective!
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:46 PM on October 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Sounds like over thinking a plate of sour poffins.
posted by The Whelk at 3:57 PM on October 11, 2012


hellojed evolved into howdyjed!
shakespeherian evolved into proustian!
Blue Meanie evolved into Cerulean Meanie!
prize bull octorok evolved into prize bull paraocto!
coolxcool=rad evolved into cool^cool=prodigious!
JHarris evolved into JH4rr1$!
EndsOfInvention evolved into EndsOfInvention2:InventionStrikesBack
The Whelk evolved into The Wholphin!
posted by oulipian at 4:49 PM on October 11, 2012 [7 favorites]


if everyone does not immediately make these sockpuppets i will be very disappointed.
posted by elizardbits at 5:09 PM on October 11, 2012


Already tried. It's not very effective...
posted by RogerB at 5:13 PM on October 11, 2012


Dang, my party could've used 99 Rare Candies the other night when a Houndoom tore us apart in Soul Silver. Maybe my defeat was symptomatic of other events in my life. Ugh, pass the poffins.
posted by dragonplayer at 9:15 PM on October 11, 2012


I was hoping for something more like The Psychology of Pokemon but it was still a fun read.
posted by synthedelic at 10:28 PM on October 11, 2012


I was first exposed to POKETTO MONSUTAA while living in Japan in 1997. At the time, I thought it was a silly fad with no staying power. Now, 15 years later, I still think it's a silly fad with no staying power.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:05 AM on October 12, 2012


I really, really wanted to like this article, but his vapid and thoughtless "deconstruction" of the three main starters leaves me to conclude that he's never actually played the game. The fire pokemon is a jock, the water pokemon is chill and carefree, and the grass pokemon is just sensitive man.

Please.
posted by Phire at 7:27 AM on October 12, 2012


FWIW, I thought this was a satire of "New Games Journalism" and the likes of Tim Rogers, Kill Screen, etc. I agree that if this was meant to be read straight it's lacking in a few ways, but I reallly don't think it is.
posted by naju at 8:33 AM on October 12, 2012


Dang, my party could've used 99 Rare Candies the other night when a Houndoom tore us apart in Soul Silver.

You fool. Rare Candies make one weak.
posted by Gordafarin at 9:19 AM on October 12, 2012


What? Méfites are evolving!

dragonplayer evolved into dragonworker!
synthedelic evolved into synthedelicious!
Faint of Butt evolved into Fairly Strong of Butt!
Phire evolved into Inpherno!
naju evolved into superultrahypermeganaju!
Gordafarin evolved into Gordafairy!
posted by oulipian at 4:03 PM on October 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


You fool. Rare Candies make one weak.

That's one of my favorite things about Pokemon, the secret notekeeping the game does on each Pokemon's battle history and how it affects stat growth. Really sneaky there, Game Freak!
posted by JHarris at 5:29 PM on October 13, 2012


The sheer hidden depths of the games are fascinating.

I'm not obsessive the games like that but I have a sort of admiration for the ones who are. Like the people who discovered the bug to catch Mew without a gameshark on Red/Blue, 7 years and 3 generations after the original games were released.
posted by Gordafarin at 5:21 AM on October 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


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