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The weirdest thing you will hear today.
October 12, 2012 3:10 AM   Subscribe

"So a friend of mine pitched down the sound of a baby crying" - Probably the weirdest sound you will hear today. [Link is SFW. Rest of site NSFW.]

Can't work out if it's hilarious, disturbing, or terrifying.
posted by EndsOfInvention (52 comments total) 34 users marked this as a favorite

 
oh my god
posted by leibniz at 3:22 AM on October 12, 2012


That's brilliant.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:25 AM on October 12, 2012


I used to have a roomate that sounded a bit like that when he was hung over. That actually kinda made me miss him.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:26 AM on October 12, 2012 [10 favorites]


That sounds almost exactly like a certain neighbor of mine having sexy sex. The first time I heard it, I nearly called emergency services because I thought someone was dying.
posted by taz at 3:27 AM on October 12, 2012 [6 favorites]


That is such a disturbing cry. The saddest cry I've ever heard.
posted by h00py at 3:35 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Almost certain that's a recording of me, the morning after a bottle of tequila.
posted by cheaily at 3:49 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


That creeped me out on levels I didn't know I had. There's a Stephen King short story that ends with that sound, but I can't remember which one.
posted by Angharad at 3:53 AM on October 12, 2012


That was creepy. I hope someone uses it for Halloween.
posted by anotherkate at 3:55 AM on October 12, 2012


I've heard people, adults, make noises like that before.

There was usually a great deal of physical trauma involved. Very unsettling.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:19 AM on October 12, 2012 [7 favorites]


Transcript starts:

Uhnn. Uhnhuhn. Uuuhhhnnuh. Ehhhn. (slight panting noise) uuuhhnnnnuhhhuuuhh. Huunnnhhh.

Transcript ends, though tape continues for another fifteen minutes. In an unrelated note, we need a biohazard disposal team in the audio room. Also, we need to put out ads for a new stenographer.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:19 AM on October 12, 2012 [6 favorites]


That, or that's hands down the worst porn I've ever listened to. I don't know if I'll ever be able to hear a baby cry without having images run through my head of a desperate, unhappy old man having the most unpleasant sex marathon imaginable.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:21 AM on October 12, 2012 [8 favorites]


I will never eat that much barbeque again. OK, God? I promise.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 4:31 AM on October 12, 2012


Baby, nothing. That's Paul Ryan in the men's room after last night's debate.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:33 AM on October 12, 2012 [17 favorites]


Ok, now an adult should mimic that same sound and then pitch it UP to see if they can make a realistic baby cry.
posted by orme at 4:34 AM on October 12, 2012 [12 favorites]


Metafilter: images run through my head of a desperate, unhappy old man having the most unpleasant sex marathon imaginable.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:35 AM on October 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh, and thanks for the new ringtone. :)
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 4:35 AM on October 12, 2012 [16 favorites]


My husband played that last night. And I myself cried and hid because it creeped me out too much.

Ugh. *shudder*
posted by Katemonkey at 4:47 AM on October 12, 2012


We need more examples! Different genders, ethnicity, ages. This is unexpectedly fascinating- do all baby cries dound like sped-up adults? Do they sound like they will when they get older? I now have my weekend science project!
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 4:51 AM on October 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


What's a free/easy to use Windows app that I can pitch-down sound recordings with? I want to try this with my own kid now.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 4:58 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Laughing baby pitched down.
posted by various at 5:01 AM on October 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm pretty sure those were the noises I made when the car fell on me...I mean, in between screaming for help...
posted by notsnot at 5:05 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


That laughing baby pitched down sounds like me the first time I smoked pot.
posted by h00py at 5:11 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Laughing baby pitched down.

Amazing how much that was like girl laughing.
posted by O Blitiri at 5:14 AM on October 12, 2012


@EndsOfInvention: Audacity can do this, is free, and has a Windows version.
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 5:41 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Audacity is a gem, a long-standing fuck you to everyone who says open source software can't do anything right.
posted by JHarris at 5:47 AM on October 12, 2012 [7 favorites]


Oh come on baby.

NOBODY BELIEVES YOU BABY.
posted by Drexen at 5:53 AM on October 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


@EndsOfInvention: Audacity can do this, is free, and has a Windows version.

Excellent. Now, how to explain to the other half why I am recording the baby crying instead of picking him up...
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:03 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was thinking just it was kind of unremarkable, that it just sounded like an adult man making uncomfortable noises. But there's something about the origin of the noises that start in the middle-- they have such a unique, only-hear-it-in-a-baby timbre that it was unmistakable. My kid's a few years past making noises like that (and not even here), but part of my brain was urging me to go into her room and reach into the crib that hasn't been in there for two years.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:04 AM on October 12, 2012


Audacity is a gem, a long-standing fuck you to everyone who says open source software can't do anything right.

No, there are many open source pieces of software for which this is true, but Audacity is not one of them. Yes it's powerful and yes I use it but god does the user interface suck. It should be a million times easier to scroll, edit zoom etc etc. in terms of the interface, it really doesn't seem to do anything right. /derail
posted by iotic at 6:09 AM on October 12, 2012 [8 favorites]


Every time I drink mezcal I make that exact noise the next day until about 4pm.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:25 AM on October 12, 2012


Hello new ringtone!
posted by odinsdream at 6:40 AM on October 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


High five Iotic. I cannot stand Audacity.

I really miss Cool Edit 2K.
posted by Foosnark at 6:54 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one not creeped out? Sounded like a normal adult crying, slowed down just a little, but almost within the range of normal.

BTW, that's a very interesting tumblr. This is amazingly gorgeous and moving. (probably NSFW) Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 6:54 AM on October 12, 2012 [7 favorites]


Oh my god, that killed me. Now we're making fun of our baby with our own low groans and grunts.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:56 AM on October 12, 2012


Ghidorah: "That, or that's hands down the worst porn I've ever listened to. I don't know if I'll ever be able to hear a baby cry without having images run through my head of a desperate, unhappy old man having the most unpleasant sex marathon imaginable."

OK, now I wonder what Japanese porn sounds like when it's slowed down.
posted by symbioid at 7:15 AM on October 12, 2012


" . . .I cannot stand Audacity."

Totally understand this sentiment- it's pretty rough around the edges, for sure. I'll be using Amadeus Pro on a Mac, which is still not exactly top-drawer but it'll work for making spectrograms.
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 7:29 AM on October 12, 2012


Creepy indeed.

Related: It's not on youtube...yet, but The Bangles Eternal Flame 45, played at 33rpm sounds like Teddy Pendergrass covering the song.
posted by JBennett at 7:30 AM on October 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


This doesn't sound authentic to me, it sounds like a guy imitating what he thinks a crying baby would sound like if the pitch were lowered. How about letting us listen to the original?
posted by parrot_person at 7:36 AM on October 12, 2012


"This doesn't sound authentic to me . . ."

All the more reason to repeat the experiment!
posted by Phyllis Harmonic at 7:45 AM on October 12, 2012


Funny the cry to me was a fussy cry as in I'm hungry or lonely or uncomfortable. I didn't feel the cry was from pain or surprise that cry always makes me jump. The cry featured here would invoke a game of roshambo between me and the missus. Winner gets to sleep loser gets to warm their cold feet on said winners backside when they return to bed.
posted by pdxpogo at 7:51 AM on October 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I'm going to stand by my statement concerning Audacity, and stick my tongue out at you haters. Nyaah.
posted by JHarris at 8:09 AM on October 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


My 8-month-old is asleep in the next room. If this was faked, it was ridiculously accurate; the pattern is precisely analogous to how Archie sounds, so much so that my wife and I were both cracking up listening to it.

And yeah, definitely a crabby/discomfort cry and not an oh-my-god-i'm-dying or what-the-hell-was-that-never-do-it-again cry.
posted by Scattercat at 8:22 AM on October 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


I found myself unable to continue listening past about a third of it. Creepy indeed!
posted by blurker at 8:43 AM on October 12, 2012


This causes my dog to flip out and conduct an immediate sector search.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:13 AM on October 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


That's Paul Ryan in the men's room after last night's debate.

Yup. Just a big baby.
posted by philip-random at 9:19 AM on October 12, 2012


This post has inspired me to post my own baby-pitch-shifting experiment to MeFi Music. It's a song I did with my band Miracle Beard, entitled 'Night Beast.'
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:38 AM on October 12, 2012


@EndsOfInvention: Audacity can do this, is free, and has a Windows version.

Excellent. Now, how to explain to the other half why I am recording the baby crying instead of picking him up...


Looks like you got a twofer:

Download audacity, and when the other half inquires just say: "audacity"

au·dac·i·ty/ôˈdasitē/
Noun:

The willingness to take bold risks: "her audacity came in handy during our most recent emergency".
Rude or disrespectful behavior; impudence: "she had the audacity to pick up the receiver and ask me to hang up".
posted by Debaser626 at 9:39 AM on October 12, 2012


Constipation is a monster.
posted by Decani at 9:42 AM on October 12, 2012


Gallows laughter? I don't know what to think about this. I'm disturbed, yet, I can't stop listening...
posted by Chuffy at 9:58 AM on October 12, 2012


This is hilarious. I really can't stop giggling.
posted by thack3r at 11:53 AM on October 12, 2012


Reminds me of that one Boards of Canada track.
posted by speicus at 5:26 PM on October 12, 2012


Sounds like a smoker's cough crossed with constipation.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 9:48 PM on October 18, 2012


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