Join 3,438 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


With great powers comes great responsibility
November 6, 2012 12:07 AM   Subscribe

Undecided on election day? Sat through all the debates and still not sure who's right and who's wrong? What you're really looking for is an endorsment by people you can trust completely, you can look up to, true heroes? Well, J. Caleb Mozzocco has taken the trouble to interview a representative cross section of superheroes and is starting to see a pattern.

More research into how specific groups vote show less surprising results, with e.g. Wonder Woman not favourably inclined towards Romney. Some target demographics are more critical than others, even if ineligible to vote, while others are concerned about the lack of coverage of the issues that really concern them.

Meanwhile The Green Lanterns of Earth 2 and Earth 2: Electric Boogaloo are voting for Obama, but for different reasons, while Batman is critical of both, as is Animal Man but for different reasons. Finally Spidey just goes for the candidate best positioned to bring a stimulus to his sales...
posted by MartinWisse (35 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
I used to do this with Arrested Development. George Senior and Lucille vote Republican, Oscar votes third party, GOB thinks voting is for nerds, Lindsay and Tobias vote Democratic or Green, Michael carefully considers the candidates, and Buster says he's going to vote but has a panic attack and plays the crane machine instead.
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:10 AM on November 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


Does Batman really think there is no causal relationship between poverty and crime?
posted by Blasdelb at 12:17 AM on November 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


I like how it looks like it was made with colored pencils.

Also where's Steve
posted by The Whelk at 12:19 AM on November 6, 2012


Batman tackles symptoms, not causes.
posted by The Whelk at 12:19 AM on November 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


So many other possibilities for polling... the captains and crews on Star Trek... the families on Game of Thrones... the study group on Community... the Disney Princesses (especially with the Star Wars Princesses joining the group)... I'd love to see how many of the James Bonds were Tory or Labor...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:29 AM on November 6, 2012


Blasdelb: "Does Batman really think there is no causal relationship between poverty and crime"

Well, his villains certainly don't seem to have a poverty problem. Mental health would definitely be a higher priority for him. Shoplifting and car break-ins are a bit beneath his pay grade.

Muggings may be a wedge issue.
posted by team lowkey at 12:29 AM on November 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


James Bonds:

Connery: Labour, then SNP, Lazenby: Tory, Moore: Tory, Dalton: SDP, Brosnan: New Labour, Craig doesn't vote.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:32 AM on November 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


the Disney Princesses

Ariel ends up for Romney cause of all the Royal Nonsense floating around her environment but she doesn't really vote cause it's complicated and she's not really into the parts of being a Princess that aren't making out and dresses. Her dad told her human politics are stupid anyway.

Belle is for Obama, of course, but she's also like organizing proto-unions among the servants and really this HAS TO BE SEEN TO cause seriously, her good-intentions are going to lead to a revolt or something.

Snow White is apolitical and wants everyone to enjoy this garden party. Try some apple crumble! The birds made it you know.

Cinderella supports Obama, cause poor people, and suffering, or something. She's not sure. Try some apple crumble!

Jasmine is seriously fucking sure women should have some say in their own fucking bodies and she's got Mulan on her side so no really, do not enter into a conversation with them about politics unless you want to get shot and dragged under a bridge.

Esmeralda is organizing a green-party/Occupy event in the town square. Tiana votes Obama cause seriously, you people, god, why is this even a question?

Pocahontas is standing somewhere with a dramatic pose.
posted by The Whelk at 12:41 AM on November 6, 2012 [35 favorites]


These are great.
posted by brundlefly at 12:45 AM on November 6, 2012


"Shoplifting and car break-ins are a bit beneath his pay grade."

Shoplifting is actually one of those crimes that is positively correlated with wealth rather than negatively correlated. Here is a review on the subject:

Higher social class predicts increased unethical behavior [FULL TEXT]
Seven studies using experimental and naturalistic methods reveal that upper-class individuals behave more unethically than lower-class individuals. In studies 1 and 2, upper-class individuals were more likely to break the law while driving, relative to lower-class individuals. In follow-up laboratory studies, upper-class individuals were more likely to exhibit unethical decision-making tendencies (study 3), take valued goods from others (study 4), lie in a negotiation (study 5), cheat to increase their chances of winning a prize (study 6), and endorse unethical behavior at work (study 7) than were lower-class individuals. Mediator and moderator data demonstrated that upper-class individuals’ unethical tendencies are accounted for, in part, by their more favorable attitudes toward greed.
posted by Blasdelb at 12:56 AM on November 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


Well, Obama is the one who would know who any of these people are, whereas Romney would just think they are voters with particularly flamboyant costumes.
posted by Mizu at 12:56 AM on November 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


The Fellowship Of The Rings:

Frodo: Leans liberal - helps others at cost to himself, so Obama.

Sam: Working class, often willingly works against his own self interest, so Romney.

Merry: Would probably be a Leader of the Occupy Hobbiton movement. Supported Obama four years ago but on the fence between Obama and Green party right now. Will probably vote Obama because he hates rich idiots.

Pippin: Slipped in the voting booth, voted "Orc."

Legolas: Misses the old days. Romney.

Gimli: Buys into the whole Obama hates mining and also thinks he's going to be a millionaire someday. Romney.

Aragorn: Wants someone - anyone - to take responsibility other than him. Obama.

Boromir: Worships strong, white father figures. Romney.

Gandalf: Kicking himself for not thinking of using unmanned drones first. Obama.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:59 AM on November 6, 2012 [21 favorites]


Shoplifting and car break-ins are a bit beneath his pay grade. Muggings may be a wedge issue.

I've always had the impression that he spends the bulk of his time dealing with muggers, rapists, and small-time burglars and jewel thieves, and the big dramatic contests with the Joker or whoever are the occasional highlights. I'm not enough of a comic book nerd to back this up though (honestly I can barely spell "bat-man"). Detailed exegeses welcome!
posted by hattifattener at 1:05 AM on November 6, 2012


So many other possibilities for polling... the captains and crews on Star Trek.

I demand that Deanna Troi is the debate moderator next cycle.

"But Governor Christie, your levels of guilt went up hugely as you made that statement. Are you sure?"
posted by jaduncan at 1:08 AM on November 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Oh, and Picard is the very definition of an Obama voter. He's practically the white Obama.
posted by jaduncan at 1:09 AM on November 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


Legolas: Misses the old days. Romney.

No, not at all. The constant lying, hedging, and the record of bottomless greed would make Romney anathema. Just about everyone in Middle Earth would be comparing him unfavorably to Sauron. "At least Sauron was mostly honest about his intentions. Remember the weaselly Mouth of Sauron? Yeah, this guy's worse."

Besides, most elves take the long view and they're looking for the next ship out of Middle Earth. Voting for a mortal who will serve 4 to 8 years is beneath their notice. 4-8 years? That's just a long weekend in Vegas. Hardly worth the effort.

But I kinda agree with you about the dwarves. They're the one non-evil group who would possibly fall for Randian nonsense.
posted by honestcoyote at 1:13 AM on November 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Joey Michaels: "Gandalf: Kicking himself for not thinking of using unmanned drones first"

Or, you know, giant eagles.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:14 AM on November 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


I've always had the impression that he spends the bulk of his time dealing with muggers, rapists, and small-time burglars and jewel thieves, and the big dramatic contests with the Joker or whoever are the occasional highlights

That's the old, popular Batman. For the fanboys who have been in charge of DC for the last ten-twenty years this is not exciting enough anymore, so it's Joker, Joker, Joker, Scarecrow or Penguin, casual sex with Catwoman, Joker, some hugely complicated multiple decades spanning Gotham based conspiracy, Joker, some stupid crossover crisis, Joker, Joker, latest movie villain, Joker all the time.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:22 AM on November 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Or, you know, giant eagles.

Po-TAY-to, Po-TAH-to.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:24 AM on November 6, 2012


Slytherin: Voting Obama. Playing the long game.
posted by Neale at 1:36 AM on November 6, 2012


That's insane. Slytherin would be total Republicans. Lower taxes, and the promise of someday owning slaves, or at least keeping the working poor down.

Ravenclaw? I'm not sure what defining feature they had... but I suspect they'd vote the Justice dude.

Hufflepuff will vote for whichever smaller party wants to legalise pot. Or Roseanne Barr.. is she still running?
posted by Mezentian at 2:37 AM on November 6, 2012


captains and crews on Star Trek...

Every Starfleet captain ever is a progressive, Roddenberry be praised. Sure, they could find plenty to argue about, but deep down they're all about compassion and diversity and all that. Star Trek rules.

I demand that Deanna Troi is the debate moderator next cycle.

Data would be great, too. He would use his awesome positronic brain to fact-check the candidates in real time, and if anybody brought up the "debate" about evolution or climate change he would fry their hash in the most polite and reasonable way.

the Disney Princesses (especially with the Star Wars Princesses joining the group)...

Come on, Leia is a feminist firecracker! Amadala is a wet noodle by comparison, but at least we do know that watching liberty die makes her very, very sad.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:00 AM on November 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


The dwarfs are for the dwarfs!

GOOGLE NIKABRIK!
posted by kyrademon at 3:05 AM on November 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


(Also, Susan Pevensie is voting Obama because of reproductive rights issues, so the rest of her family isn't talking to her anymore.)
posted by kyrademon at 3:16 AM on November 6, 2012 [7 favorites]


Ravenclaw? I'm not sure what defining feature they had... but I suspect they'd vote the Justice dude.

Ravenclaw's were defined by "scholarliness/intelligence", which means that if they were American rather than British, the Ravenclaw Common Areas would just be an exhausting nonstop argument between Libertarian and Socialist Party supporters. For a full 2 years before the election.
posted by kagredon at 4:06 AM on November 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Undecided Voters
posted by nathancaswell at 5:09 AM on November 6, 2012


No comment from Mr. A?
posted by audi alteram partem at 5:13 AM on November 6, 2012


Mr A punched the reporter who asked, made a Randian comment, and left.
posted by Mezentian at 5:35 AM on November 6, 2012


I'm pretty sure Jon Snow voted Green; that's why his brothers attacked him.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:12 AM on November 6, 2012


Merry: Would probably be a Leader of the Occupy Hobbiton movement. Supported Obama four years ago but on the fence between Obama and Green party right now. Will probably vote Obama because he hates rich idiots.

Enjoyed the list, but... strictly speaking Merry is from a super-rich landowning family that is pretty much the ruling power, in as much as there is any, in a large part of the Shire. (Ditto for Pippin.) Definitely one of the 1%, so probably not going to be part of Occupy Hobbiton.

Of course no hobbits are keen on any sort of large scale industry, and they also favor...ahem... small government.
posted by philipy at 9:25 AM on November 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


the Disney Princesses

You forgot Leia. She votes for Romney because he represents the Republic-ans and because she doesn't like Obama's battle droids and because George Lucas is racist.
posted by straight at 12:51 PM on November 6, 2012


Gandalf: Kicking himself for not thinking of using unmanned drones first. Obama.

Or he might cast a write-in vote for his long-lost twin brother.
posted by homunculus at 3:31 PM on November 6, 2012


No comment from Mr. A?

There is. But not a fun/accurate as Mezentian's answer.
posted by RobotHero at 8:02 PM on November 6, 2012


Come to think of it, I would expect more third-party votes from super-heroes. A lot of them are all about never compromising their ideals, no matter how the odds are against them, you get what I'm saying?
posted by RobotHero at 8:05 PM on November 6, 2012


I'd expect more superheroes to be up for office. At first, they might be all righteous and, "I will let the people decide for themselves", but eventually they'd have to step in and take over because we keep getting it wrong. Especially IronMan, with his ego. And he actually has the money to run a campaign.
posted by misha at 2:52 PM on November 7, 2012


« Older BUYRAL...  |  "Fundamentally flawed, unreaso... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments